Falling for Rachel
Page 48

“I don’t like you going home alone,” he said as he walked with her to where her coat was hanging.
“I’ll take a cab.” The fact that he didn’t argue made her realize just how distracted he was. “We’re going to work this out, Zack. Trust me.”
“Yeah. I’ll call you.”
She stepped outside and headed down to the corner to hail a cab. Trust me, she’d told him. She could only hope she deserved that trust.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
She nearly called Alex when she got home, but she was afraid that if her brother put out feelers, even unofficially, Nick would only be more furious.
All she could do was wait. And wait alone.
An odd triangle they made, she thought as she wandered restlessly around her apartment with a rapidly cooling cup of tea. Nick, young and defiant, seeing rejection and betrayal everywhere, even as he looked so desperately for his place in the world. And Zack, so innately generous, so fueled by passion and so vulnerable to his brother. And herself, the objective, logical and ambitious attorney who’d fallen in love with them both.
Maybe she should be writing soap operas, she thought as she dropped down on the couch. She curled up her legs, cupping her mug in both hands. If she had the imagination for that, at least she might be able to write herself out of this situation.
Oh, how had it happened? she wondered, and closed her tired eyes. She was the one who had had things aligned so clearly. Hadn’t she always known exactly where she was going and how she was going to get there? Every obstacle that could possibly block her path had been considered and weighed. All the options, all the ways of going around or through those obstacles, had been calculated.
All of them.
Except Zackary Muldoon.
By becoming involved with him, by letting her emotions rule her head, she’d made a mess of everything. It was entirely possible that Nick, pumped by hurt and frustration, would race headlong into trouble before the night was over. However understanding and compassionate Judge Beckett was, if Nick broke his probation, she would have no choice but to sentence him.
Even if the sentence was light, how could she forgive herself? How could Zack forgive her for failing? And, worst of all, how could Nick rebound from that final rejection when society put him behind bars?
She wanted to believe he’d go back to Zack. Angry, yes…defiant, certainly…maybe even spoiling for a fight. All those things could be dealt with, if only he went back.
But if he didn’t…
The sound of her buzzer had her jolting. Well aware that it was after midnight, she unfolded herself, hoping it was Zack coming by to tell her Nick was safe and sound.
“Yes?”
“I want to come up.” It was Nick’s voice, edgy and demanding. Rachel had to bite back a cry of relief. “Sure.” She kept her tone light as she released the lock. “Come ahead.”
She pressed her fingers against her eyes to push back the tears that filled them. It was stupid to get so emotional. Hadn’t logic told her he’d have to come back? Hadn’t she said as much to Zack?
But when the knock rapped sharply at her door, she was swinging it open, and the words were tumbling out. “I was so worried. I was going to go after you, but I didn’t know where to start to look. Oh, Nick, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry it blew up in your face?” He shoved the door closed behind him. He hadn’t intended to come here, but he’d been walking, walking. Then it had seemed like the only place to go. “Sorry I came in and found you with Zack?”
It was far from over, Rachel realized. What she saw in his eyes was just as dangerous as what had been in them when he’d leaped across the office at Zack. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“You’re sorry I found out what you really are. You’re nothing but a liar.”
“I never lied to you.”
“Every time you opened your mouth.” He hadn’t moved away from the door, and his hands were balled into fists, white-knuckled, at his side. “You and Zack. The whole time you were pretending to care about me, acting as if you liked being with me, you were making it with him.”
“I do care—” she began, but he cut her off.
“I can see what a kick the two of you must’ve gotten out of it. Poor, pathetic Nick, mooning around, trying to make something of himself because he had a case on the sexy lawyer. I guess the two of you lay in bed and laughed yourself sick.”
“No. It was never like that.”
“Are you going to tell me you didn’t go to bed with him?”
He saw the truth in her eyes before her own temper kicked in. “You’re out of line. I’m not going to discuss—”
His hands shot out, snatching the lapels of her robe and swinging her around. Her back rammed hard into the door. The first bubble of fear evaporated in her throat as Nick pushed his face close to hers. All she could see was his eyes, sharp green and glinting with fury.
“Why did you do it? Why did you have to make a fool out of me? Why did it have to be my brother?”
“Nick.” She had his wrists now, and she tried to drag them away. But rage had added weight to his sinewy strength.
“Do you know how it makes me feel to know that while I was imagining us you were with him? And he knew. He knew.”
Her breath was hitching, but she fought to control it. “You’re hurting me.”
She thought the statement would come out calm, even authoritative. Instead, it was shaky, and the fear underneath it clear even in his reckless state. His eyes went blank for a moment, then focused on his hands. They were digging into her shoulders. Appalled, he pulled them away and stared at her.
“I’m going.”
Sometimes all you had was impulse. Rachel went with it and pressed her back against the door. “Don’t. Please. Don’t go like this.”
There was a churning in his stomach that was pure self-loathing. “I never pushed a woman around before. It’s as low as it gets.”
“You didn’t hurt me. I’m okay.”
What she was, he noted, was deathly pale. “You’re shaking.”
“Okay, I’m shaking. Can we sit down?”
“I shouldn’t have come here, Rachel. I shouldn’t have jumped on you that way.”
“I’m glad you came. Let’s leave it at that for a minute. Please, let’s sit down.”