Falling Light
Page 20

Marah.
The stone beside it bore the word, Mearr. The one underneath that read Muire.
Then onto the next. Moire, Maryse, Miryam, and on the oldest stone closest to the ground was inscribed the word Myrrh.
All were variations of her name.
She backed away from the chapel wall and stumbled against a waist-high black stone that was an altar. She put both hands on its pitted surface as she leaned against it for stability.
Power welled from the black stone, pouring through the fragile flesh of her hands. She felt it like the roar of an oncoming tornado as the noonday sun spilled down on her head and blinded her.
The light and dark energies connected inside of her and detonated. The power of the resulting blast knocked her . . . someplace.
She floated, light as thistledown, and collided with a handkerchief of bright orange energy, which startled a giggle out of it. It was a little wind spirit, like the lavender spirit that had helped her escape from the drones who had tried to kidnap her.
It darted out an open window, flapping and soaring in fits and spurts like a drunken butterfly. Looking around, Mary discovered that she stood at the top of the stairs that led to the loft.
She could see Astra cooking on the ground floor. She jumped, floated down the stairs and over to the counter, where Astra rolled out a thick layer of dough.
“What are you doing out of your body, miss?” Astra grunted without looking up. She took a knife and sliced the dough into thick strips. “I know you think you’ve learned a clever trick or two, but now is not the time to be wandering through the realms, not even here.”
I didn’t mean to do it, she protested. It was my dream. As Astra paused to look at her speculatively, realization dawned. She demanded, You gave me that dream, didn’t you? What did all those images mean?
Astra cackled, her black eyes bright. “I don’t have a clue. It wasn’t my dream, it was yours. I don’t know what images you saw.” She added in a casual tone of voice, “Want to tell me what they were?”
Mary didn’t take time to analyze her instinctive reaction. All she knew was that she didn’t want Astra near her chapel.
She said quickly, No, thanks.
“Suit yourself. Then you’ve got to be the one to figure out what it means.”
She hesitated. How could you give me the dream if you don’t know what it was?
“All I did was to nudge you in the right direction,” the old woman said. “You said that sometimes you don’t know yourself. You had somewhere inside of you that you needed to go, and some things that you needed to realize and remember. You would have gotten there on your own eventually—you were halfway there already. I just saved you some grief and time so that we could move on to other things.”
Oh. Thank you. The large steaming pot on the stove distracted Mary. She peered inside at the bubbling liquid, trying to determine the contents.
“It’s going to be chicken and dumplings,” Astra told her. “And you can have some when you get up.” She slapped a floury hand on the counter. “Now go back to bed!”
As Astra said the words, Mary felt a shove that sent her tumbling head over heels up the stairs. When she connected with her body, she fell again into darkness.
 • • •
A FORMLESS TIME later, Mary opened her eyes.
She looked around, cataloguing the details of her environment. Pleasant cool air moved through the loft, carrying with it the rich, enticing smell of chicken stew. She rolled over and looked at the open window. As she remembered her collision with the bright orange handkerchief in her dream, she smiled.
There was no part of her body that ached, or was cold, cramped, overtired, bloody, dirty, wet, beaten or bruised. It was a miracle.
Her unruly hair still felt damp but not uncomfortably so. She had a whole wide double bed to roll around in. It would take a good week of regular sleep and nutrition for her to feel fully rested, but this new reality was miles better than what she had just experienced. She wiggled her toes and rotated her ankles, and luxuriated in the simple wonder of being physically comfortable, content to rest and think.
After a while, hunger and a resurgence of curiosity drove her out of bed. Someone had left a pile of clothing just outside her door. As she sorted through the items, she found her cleaned and dried nylon panties, a baggy purple T-shirt and a gray sweat suit.
She had lost her bra back at Michael’s cabin, but she was small enough that she could get away without wearing one. Grateful for the clean clothing, she shrugged into the T-shirt, sweatpants and underwear, slipped on her socks from early that morning and left her nightgown folded on her pillow. Then she went down the stairs.
No one else was in sight. She found a pot on the stove on low simmer, a small stack of spoons and bowls beside it and a note on the kitchen counter. Astra was outside doing chores, the stew was ready, iced tea and a salad waited in the refrigerator and fools were welcome to eat whenever they awakened.
Mary felt a small pang when she read the note. Her fingers smoothed the edges of the paper. She wondered where Michael was sleeping. Had he been tempted to crawl into bed with her, or was he glad for the chance to put some distance between them after that morning?
Earlier she had been too exhausted to care about anything but getting her body horizontal as fast as she could, so she hadn’t missed him when she’d collapsed in the loft.
She missed him now, though. They had fast learned to rely on each other during the trip north. Or at least she had learned to rely on him. Already it felt strange to be apart from the visceral comfort of his big, warm body.
She helped herself to a generous meal of chicken and dumplings, salad and tea. The stew was well seasoned, starchy and delicious, perfect comfort food for people who had suffered from stress and recent injury. She couldn’t resist a second bowlful. When she finally finished, she washed her dirty dishes.
Then, driven by motives she preferred not to dissect, she explored the ground floor.
The cabin was filled with a treasure trove of carved statues and masks, stone bowls, pottery, handwoven wall hangings, dried herbs and a variety of tools.
A central fieldstone fireplace dominated the living room area. Both her and Michael’s shoes had been set on the hearth, along with the blanket that she had cut to make a makeshift poncho.
She paused to study an eighteen-inch artifact on the mantel. It was a doll constructed of sticks, scraps of cloth and a painted black-and-white face. It was an odd, compelling figure that somehow embodied both gaiety and menace. She stood on tiptoe to get a closer look.
A man said behind her, “What do you think of the Haokah?”
She turned around.
Jerry stood taller than she thought he would. He was every bit as tall as Nicholas and his grandson. She ran a professional gaze down his body. His face was still haggard but he seemed steady on his feet, and his color was good. He had pulled his gray-streaked hair back in a ponytail, and he was dressed and wearing a jacket.
Jamie stood at his grandfather’s shoulder, his youthful, handsome face lively with curiosity.
Jerry looked at Jamie and jerked his chin toward the door. With a flash of disappointment in his eyes, Jamie gave her a sullen smile that was startlingly sexy and left the cabin.
“Hello,” she said to Jerry. She held out a hand, and Jerry took it in both of his. He squeezed her fingers. “I was just wondering what this doll was. What did you call it?”
“It is the figure of a Haokah, or a sacred clown. A Haokah teaches us through adversity. Sometimes the lessons are funny, like slapstick. You might slip on a banana peel and laugh, but you know you’ve learned to watch your step.” Jerry regarded the figure on the mantel with a complex, unreadable expression. “Sometimes the lessons are darker and harder, like how to live with the death of your son.”
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” she murmured, even as Nicholas took form beside them.
The ghost put his hand on his father’s shoulder. She held her breath, waiting to see if Jerry would sense it.
He did not appear to notice, and her gaze moistened, for both father and son. She cleared her throat and turned away to focus on the doll on the mantel.
“A Haokah teaching is a big gift,” Jerry said. “It makes the soul grow. We honor our Haokah teachers but we are wary of them too, because those lessons can hurt like a son of a bitch.” He paused. “I dreamed of Nicholas. He said I owe you my life. He also said that you would kick my ass if I didn’t stop smoking.”
She glanced sidelong at Nicholas, who nodded, and she felt somewhat better for the both of them. She told Jerry, “He was right.”
Jerry’s dark eyes studied her as he grumbled, “I make no promises.”
“Then I make no promises about not kicking your ass,” she told him with a small grin. “You shouldn’t be out of bed yet.”
Jerry grunted. “I see you’re one of those doctors.”
“Who are ‘those doctors’?”
“You know, the bossy ones.” Lines deepened at the corners of his eyes as he returned her smile. He said, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. And I meant what I said—you need bed rest, and I want to check you over again. What are you doing up and dressed?”
“I’ll have to take a rain check on that exam. The boy is going to see me home, and I’ll rest there. We’ve been here too long, and his mother will be worried. You’ve done enough for now, and it’s past time for us to leave.” His smile faded. “You and the others, you have bigger and more dangerous concerns to face.”
She bit her lip. She had meant to do more than just check Jerry over. She had wanted to tell him how much Nicholas, even as a ghost, had come to mean to her.
She had also been tempted to tell him what they were going to try to do.
But now she rethought that impulse. If they failed—if she failed to resurrect Nicholas—Jerry would mourn his son all over again. If they succeeded, then Nicholas could tell his father in person.
“Hold on,” she said. “You’re not going to slip away from me that easily. At least let me examine you.”
He grumbled, but there was kindness in his eyes and no heat in his complaints. She made him sit at the kitchen table, while she stood behind him and put her hands on his shoulders. Then she sank her awareness into his body and studied her handiwork from earlier.
Finally she pulled out again, patted his shoulder and told him, “You’re not going to like me saying this, but you need rest and a low-fat diet. No red meat.”
He grunted. It was the most noncommittal grunt she had ever heard.
She nodded and patted him again. “When you feel up to it in a few days, start taking short walks and gradually increase those over time. Build up to at least a half an hour a day. And no more smoking.”
He reached to his shoulder and took one of her hands. “On that note, I think it’s past time I leave.”
She chuckled. “Okay.”
He stood and faced her, and to her immense surprise, he gave her a strong bear hug. It startled a smile out of her, and she hugged him back.
“Come and see me,” he said. “I’ll make deer stew, fry bread and blackberry sauce. It was Nicholas’s favorite meal.”
“I would be honored,” she told him. With any luck, Nicholas would be with her to visit, and they could turn the meal into a celebration.
Jerry nodded and turned toward the door. Nicholas joined her, and together they watched Jerry as he walked out of the cabin. He moved with care but he was steady on his feet, and he appeared to be in no pain.
I will go with them and watch over him, Nicholas told her. He and I have more to talk about in dreams. It is the only way he can sense me.
She took a deep breath at the sudden pang she felt. Her growing affection for Nicholas was the most uncomplicated relationship she had at the moment. “I know he would appreciate that very much.”
He put a shimmering hand to her face. She felt the warmth, and the steady strength in his presence. Like I said, call me if you have any need of me.
She reached up to his hand, wishing again that she could actually touch him. “You would hear me?”
If you direct your call to me, I will hear you.
Her lips pulled into a smile. “And we are still going to work together to bring you back, right?”
Yes, he told her. Darkness flashed across his features and brought with it a touch of savagery. I have too much unfinished business in this lifetime not to try.
If she hadn’t experienced everything that she had over the last several days, she might have been much more unsettled at that flash of expression. Still, she shivered.
She said, “Then I will see you soon.”
Yes, Mary. The ghost bent and brushed her lips with his in a light, fleeting caress. We will see each other again soon.
Her eyes widened. As she touched her lips with her fingers, he melted away.
Chapter Eighteen
MARY STARED AT the space where Nicholas had been standing.
Were there implications in that kiss?
She thought . . . there might have been implications in that kiss, which seemed kind of crazy since only one of them was alive and embodied.
Or maybe she was just still overtired and out of balance. At the moment, she was prone to reading the wrong thing into just about anything.
She scrubbed her face hard with both hands. Implications or not, she had too many other things to deal with, so she set the whole thing aside. She gave the Haokah figure one last glance and resumed her exploration of the cabin.
Most of the items decorating the cabin appeared to be from the indigenous cultures of North America. There was the occasional exotic surprise, such as a small, crudely shaped statuette of a horse that appeared to be Grecian, or an exquisite, simple marble urn. An antique spinning wheel had been tucked into one corner of the living room. It was obviously still used, the spindle and the wheel threaded with wool.