Falling Under
Page 41
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Before she could say anything, Duke looked up and froze Carmella in place when his gaze landed on her.
Ever since their make-up on Monday, he’d been very intense and there was no denying they were seeing one another.
At work he just sidled up to her when they spoke. At first he might try to keep it cool, but soon enough one corner of his mouth would turn up and he’d compliment her. Or proposition her. Both sometimes. He saved her a seat next to him in the break room, or would shove people out of the way to get to her. He maintained that easygoing thing, but he was being really clear that he liked her liked her.
And that didn’t even take into account the fact that they’d had sex in his office that week too. Honestly, the man stole her wits. Heaven knew what he’d have her agreeing to next. But she probably would enjoy it, so there was that.
He loped over, meeting her halfway.
“Hey there.”
“Mr. Bradshaw.”
He pulled her into a hug, kissing her quick. “Errands go okay?”
“Yep. I’m going to change and be right back, all right?”
“We’ll be here. Still waiting on a few people so take your time. But hurry anyway because I like looking at you.”
She rolled her eyes, blushing, and went into the house.
Duke loved to take his bike out for long rides. This trip around the Olympic Peninsula was one he often hit with his friends during the summer and early fall.
He’d never done it with a woman on the back of his bike. And he’d surely never done it with his woman on the back of his bike.
Carmella was at home on a motorcycle, which was utterly clear by the way she rode. She didn’t hang on too hard, though she was close enough that he felt the warmth of her against his back.
Enough to make it feel like the best Saturday ride he’d ever taken.
“Is it weird for you?” Duke asked Asa as they stood at an overlook, the scent of salt water and pine all mixed up to perfection.
“You’re going to need to be more specific than that. I generally disapprove of most things so everything is weird for me.”
Duke laughed. “Belonging to someone. Like a few months ago, even though I knew Carmella and was hot for her, I saw other women all the time. Looked. Touched as often as I wanted. And now?”
“Now there are plenty of other women, but none of them matter to you like just one does. And you can try to tell yourself it’ll wane. Lessen with time if you just give yourself over to the company you are far more comfortable with.” Asa’s gaze shifted from Duke to PJ for a moment and then back to the churning, cold water in the distance.
“Yes. Now I feel, I don’t know what to call it. Not chained, because that’s a negative. But bound? And more than that, none of those other women is Carmella.” Duke shrugged. “It’s not like I don’t see beauty all around me. It’s more like nothing else can compare to her. To what she makes me feel. And then I say to myself that I’ve only been with her a short period of time so how can I know such a thing?”
Mick, who’d been standing on Duke’s other side, sighed with so much emotion, both Asa and Duke started, turning to face their friend.
“Something you want to share?” Asa asked.
“Love is fucking love. That’s it. You can know something immediately. Sometimes it takes years to know it. Do you love her?” Mick asked.
“Yes.”
“You didn’t even hesitate,” Mick said. “You answered without a second thought. So, I’m going to say this, you love her and that’s what you know. There can be myriad ways to go from this point. But you can’t unlove her. No matter how she feels. Eventually, if she never reciprocates, your love can wane. Or so I’m told.”
“Dude, you’re blowing my fucking mind with all this wisdom and you’re telling us some shit you have held close for however long. Jesus, I need a beer for this day,” Duke said, shoving a hand through his hair.
“To answer your previous question, Duke,” Asa interrupted. “It’s not weird to belong to someone. It’s awesome. It’s the best thing I’ve ever felt and I’ve felt a lot of great shit. It’s one of the few non-weird things in the world, in my opinion. Now you, Mick. Who is he? This guy you love and can’t stop loving?”
“It’s a she,” Mick replied.
Mick was openly bisexual and had been since he was a teenager, so Duke wasn’t surprised that a woman was a possibility. But Duke had only ever seen his friend with men for longer than a night or some flirtation.
“And a he. Probably. It’s so complicated I don’t even know where to start. But I know right now isn’t the time. I just … accept what you feel, Duke. Don’t run from it because it seems so big and scary you can’t make heads or tails of it sometimes,” Mick said to Duke. “Don’t you look at Asa and PJ and want that too?”
Duke nodded. He wasn’t sure when he’d gone from looking at relationships as something other people did recreationally, to something pretty freaking amazing when it was a real connection like the one their friend had with PJ.
“Look, I’m not going to evangelize on the wonder of being in love with a person who knows you to the bone and loves you anyway. Or of being with someone who works the way you do, wants to build something with you. Huh.” Asa stopped speaking and then tipped his chin at Duke. “I guess I just did. The right person is everything.”
Ever since their make-up on Monday, he’d been very intense and there was no denying they were seeing one another.
At work he just sidled up to her when they spoke. At first he might try to keep it cool, but soon enough one corner of his mouth would turn up and he’d compliment her. Or proposition her. Both sometimes. He saved her a seat next to him in the break room, or would shove people out of the way to get to her. He maintained that easygoing thing, but he was being really clear that he liked her liked her.
And that didn’t even take into account the fact that they’d had sex in his office that week too. Honestly, the man stole her wits. Heaven knew what he’d have her agreeing to next. But she probably would enjoy it, so there was that.
He loped over, meeting her halfway.
“Hey there.”
“Mr. Bradshaw.”
He pulled her into a hug, kissing her quick. “Errands go okay?”
“Yep. I’m going to change and be right back, all right?”
“We’ll be here. Still waiting on a few people so take your time. But hurry anyway because I like looking at you.”
She rolled her eyes, blushing, and went into the house.
Duke loved to take his bike out for long rides. This trip around the Olympic Peninsula was one he often hit with his friends during the summer and early fall.
He’d never done it with a woman on the back of his bike. And he’d surely never done it with his woman on the back of his bike.
Carmella was at home on a motorcycle, which was utterly clear by the way she rode. She didn’t hang on too hard, though she was close enough that he felt the warmth of her against his back.
Enough to make it feel like the best Saturday ride he’d ever taken.
“Is it weird for you?” Duke asked Asa as they stood at an overlook, the scent of salt water and pine all mixed up to perfection.
“You’re going to need to be more specific than that. I generally disapprove of most things so everything is weird for me.”
Duke laughed. “Belonging to someone. Like a few months ago, even though I knew Carmella and was hot for her, I saw other women all the time. Looked. Touched as often as I wanted. And now?”
“Now there are plenty of other women, but none of them matter to you like just one does. And you can try to tell yourself it’ll wane. Lessen with time if you just give yourself over to the company you are far more comfortable with.” Asa’s gaze shifted from Duke to PJ for a moment and then back to the churning, cold water in the distance.
“Yes. Now I feel, I don’t know what to call it. Not chained, because that’s a negative. But bound? And more than that, none of those other women is Carmella.” Duke shrugged. “It’s not like I don’t see beauty all around me. It’s more like nothing else can compare to her. To what she makes me feel. And then I say to myself that I’ve only been with her a short period of time so how can I know such a thing?”
Mick, who’d been standing on Duke’s other side, sighed with so much emotion, both Asa and Duke started, turning to face their friend.
“Something you want to share?” Asa asked.
“Love is fucking love. That’s it. You can know something immediately. Sometimes it takes years to know it. Do you love her?” Mick asked.
“Yes.”
“You didn’t even hesitate,” Mick said. “You answered without a second thought. So, I’m going to say this, you love her and that’s what you know. There can be myriad ways to go from this point. But you can’t unlove her. No matter how she feels. Eventually, if she never reciprocates, your love can wane. Or so I’m told.”
“Dude, you’re blowing my fucking mind with all this wisdom and you’re telling us some shit you have held close for however long. Jesus, I need a beer for this day,” Duke said, shoving a hand through his hair.
“To answer your previous question, Duke,” Asa interrupted. “It’s not weird to belong to someone. It’s awesome. It’s the best thing I’ve ever felt and I’ve felt a lot of great shit. It’s one of the few non-weird things in the world, in my opinion. Now you, Mick. Who is he? This guy you love and can’t stop loving?”
“It’s a she,” Mick replied.
Mick was openly bisexual and had been since he was a teenager, so Duke wasn’t surprised that a woman was a possibility. But Duke had only ever seen his friend with men for longer than a night or some flirtation.
“And a he. Probably. It’s so complicated I don’t even know where to start. But I know right now isn’t the time. I just … accept what you feel, Duke. Don’t run from it because it seems so big and scary you can’t make heads or tails of it sometimes,” Mick said to Duke. “Don’t you look at Asa and PJ and want that too?”
Duke nodded. He wasn’t sure when he’d gone from looking at relationships as something other people did recreationally, to something pretty freaking amazing when it was a real connection like the one their friend had with PJ.
“Look, I’m not going to evangelize on the wonder of being in love with a person who knows you to the bone and loves you anyway. Or of being with someone who works the way you do, wants to build something with you. Huh.” Asa stopped speaking and then tipped his chin at Duke. “I guess I just did. The right person is everything.”
