Falling Under
Page 53
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“It’s times like these I wish I’d have never quit smoking,” Duke said as he cracked the can and took a long sip. “I can’t say too much. She’s so private and I don’t want to betray her trust. I’m just worried about her. Family shit.”
Asa nodded. “You’ve met PJ’s family so you know I understand what you’re going through.” Duke had to agree; PJ’s father was one of the worst people he’d ever met. “I know you’re used to being the one who gives advice, but listen to me here. I know you. I know you want to go in and knock heads and make people treat her better. But with family, it’s tricky. You have to tread carefully. Let her talk to you without trying to fix it. I heard that on television and it’s totally true. Don’t put her in a place where she either stops telling you, or feels like she has to choose.”
Asa was right. It was hard to hear advice when he was the one people came to usually. And maybe it sucked a little bit more because he wanted her to come to him for advice and she didn’t.
“I get the feeling Carmella and I had a similar upbringing,” Asa said. Duke’s friend had come up rough. Though his mother was amazing and protective, they didn’t always have a lot. “When she tells you stuff, that’s a big deal. She’s probably pretty used to keeping secrets.”
It hit Duke then, that of course that’s what Carmella’s mother had done. Forced her daughter to keep her fucking secrets. At Carmella’s expense.
“It makes me crazy.” He started to pace. “She should be cherished and adored.” But Asa was right. It was a big deal that Carm shared with him and he needed to keep remembering that. This was about her, and when he let his anger get in the way, it made it about him.
He was glad they were all getting together that night at the gym. No racing that night. Instead of bare knuckles outside, they were going to do some boxing. He could burn off the violent energy so he could save all his sensual energy for her.
“She should have been back already. I’m going to give her another half an hour and then I’m calling her.”
Asa clapped his shoulder. “Good.” And walked back inside before Duke could thank him. Typical of his buddy.
He walked around the building rather than go back through to the shop, wanting that bit of privacy to get his shit back together before going back to work.
Carmella sat stone-faced in her car outside her mom’s place.
“Can’t you ask your uncle for the money? You have this new job, you always look nice. Don’t tell me you don’t have a little stashed away for a rainy day,” Virgie said. “Most kids want their parents to get back together. This would help that happen.”
“I don’t have it. I was unemployed for a few months and had to live off savings. He can find a job, Mom. Save up. I know he’s living with you so it’s not like he’s paying any rent.”
“How can he get to work if he doesn’t have a car? It’s not like he’s spending it on a vacation or anything.”
Carmella lost that blank mask at those words. “By the time I was nine, I knew the bus schedule. If a nine-year-old can figure out how to use mass transit, I’m sure an adult can do it. There’s a bus stop three blocks from your front door. He’ll do just fine if that’s really what he means to do. I have to get back to work.”
“You won’t just be happy for me. He said it might be like this. That you’d suspect his motives and that he didn’t blame you. But I do. I do because you’re hardening your heart against him when he needs you. When I need you.”
No matter how much Carmella knew she shouldn’t let it, those words hurt like hell.
“You want him to leave again so you can have me all to yourself!” Virgie exclaimed.
Carmella knew her mother said it to lash out, but it made her angry anyway. “I need you to get out of my car right this moment because I’m going to say something I regret if I have to be with you another moment.”
“Just say it!” her mother shouted.
“Get out. I’m not one of your friends down at the bar. You can’t play me for sympathy. If he wants to turn his life around, he can do it. He doesn’t need money I don’t have for a car and I don’t need to listen to you treat me like shit because you’re having a temper tantrum.”
Virgie scrambled from the truck and slammed the door, storming off.
“Thanks, Carmella, for taking hours out of your day to run my ungrateful ass to the doctor when my unemployed asshat of a whatever the hell he is sits on his. You’re welcome, Mom.” Carmella drove off, annoyed as hell but undeniably relieved to be away from Virgie and her stream of lovesick drivel about Steven.
Once she was back at work, no one was angry with her for taking longer than she thought it would take. Duke made sure she ate a snack later that afternoon and kept an eye on her, thinking she wouldn’t notice.
But she did and it mattered that someone seemed to give a crap.
At quitting time, she headed out after a quick good-bye and reminder to everyone that timesheets were due the following day if they wanted to be paid. Lottie apparently had been a lot nicer and let them get away with turning things in at the very last minute.
But that made way more work for everyone, so Carmella had trained them all to get the sheets to her or any hours turned in after the deadline wouldn’t be paid until the following pay period. Even the worst offender only tested her twice.
Asa nodded. “You’ve met PJ’s family so you know I understand what you’re going through.” Duke had to agree; PJ’s father was one of the worst people he’d ever met. “I know you’re used to being the one who gives advice, but listen to me here. I know you. I know you want to go in and knock heads and make people treat her better. But with family, it’s tricky. You have to tread carefully. Let her talk to you without trying to fix it. I heard that on television and it’s totally true. Don’t put her in a place where she either stops telling you, or feels like she has to choose.”
Asa was right. It was hard to hear advice when he was the one people came to usually. And maybe it sucked a little bit more because he wanted her to come to him for advice and she didn’t.
“I get the feeling Carmella and I had a similar upbringing,” Asa said. Duke’s friend had come up rough. Though his mother was amazing and protective, they didn’t always have a lot. “When she tells you stuff, that’s a big deal. She’s probably pretty used to keeping secrets.”
It hit Duke then, that of course that’s what Carmella’s mother had done. Forced her daughter to keep her fucking secrets. At Carmella’s expense.
“It makes me crazy.” He started to pace. “She should be cherished and adored.” But Asa was right. It was a big deal that Carm shared with him and he needed to keep remembering that. This was about her, and when he let his anger get in the way, it made it about him.
He was glad they were all getting together that night at the gym. No racing that night. Instead of bare knuckles outside, they were going to do some boxing. He could burn off the violent energy so he could save all his sensual energy for her.
“She should have been back already. I’m going to give her another half an hour and then I’m calling her.”
Asa clapped his shoulder. “Good.” And walked back inside before Duke could thank him. Typical of his buddy.
He walked around the building rather than go back through to the shop, wanting that bit of privacy to get his shit back together before going back to work.
Carmella sat stone-faced in her car outside her mom’s place.
“Can’t you ask your uncle for the money? You have this new job, you always look nice. Don’t tell me you don’t have a little stashed away for a rainy day,” Virgie said. “Most kids want their parents to get back together. This would help that happen.”
“I don’t have it. I was unemployed for a few months and had to live off savings. He can find a job, Mom. Save up. I know he’s living with you so it’s not like he’s paying any rent.”
“How can he get to work if he doesn’t have a car? It’s not like he’s spending it on a vacation or anything.”
Carmella lost that blank mask at those words. “By the time I was nine, I knew the bus schedule. If a nine-year-old can figure out how to use mass transit, I’m sure an adult can do it. There’s a bus stop three blocks from your front door. He’ll do just fine if that’s really what he means to do. I have to get back to work.”
“You won’t just be happy for me. He said it might be like this. That you’d suspect his motives and that he didn’t blame you. But I do. I do because you’re hardening your heart against him when he needs you. When I need you.”
No matter how much Carmella knew she shouldn’t let it, those words hurt like hell.
“You want him to leave again so you can have me all to yourself!” Virgie exclaimed.
Carmella knew her mother said it to lash out, but it made her angry anyway. “I need you to get out of my car right this moment because I’m going to say something I regret if I have to be with you another moment.”
“Just say it!” her mother shouted.
“Get out. I’m not one of your friends down at the bar. You can’t play me for sympathy. If he wants to turn his life around, he can do it. He doesn’t need money I don’t have for a car and I don’t need to listen to you treat me like shit because you’re having a temper tantrum.”
Virgie scrambled from the truck and slammed the door, storming off.
“Thanks, Carmella, for taking hours out of your day to run my ungrateful ass to the doctor when my unemployed asshat of a whatever the hell he is sits on his. You’re welcome, Mom.” Carmella drove off, annoyed as hell but undeniably relieved to be away from Virgie and her stream of lovesick drivel about Steven.
Once she was back at work, no one was angry with her for taking longer than she thought it would take. Duke made sure she ate a snack later that afternoon and kept an eye on her, thinking she wouldn’t notice.
But she did and it mattered that someone seemed to give a crap.
At quitting time, she headed out after a quick good-bye and reminder to everyone that timesheets were due the following day if they wanted to be paid. Lottie apparently had been a lot nicer and let them get away with turning things in at the very last minute.
But that made way more work for everyone, so Carmella had trained them all to get the sheets to her or any hours turned in after the deadline wouldn’t be paid until the following pay period. Even the worst offender only tested her twice.
