Fearless In Love
Page 14
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For a moment, hope flashed in Matt’s eyes. But just as quickly as it came, it was extinguished.
“Matt.” His name was the barest whisper on her lips. “Don’t do this. You’re a good man. A great father.”
“You barely know me.”
“I know enough.”
But when she looked up into his eyes, she could see that he wasn’t listening. He could hear only the harsh and critical voices inside his head. She’d had to fight those enough times herself to understand just how hard it was to do it on your own. So she did the only other thing she could think of to slice through those voices.
She closed her eyes, went up on her tippy toes.
And put her mouth on his.
* * *
Matt knew he should fight it, but everything in him needed Ari’s touch, her lips on his.
She reminded him of all the things he wanted…and all the things he wasn’t in control of. He couldn’t control what she did to him—how badly he wanted to taste her, touch her, lose himself in her, and forget everything else. He wasn’t able to stop Noah from reacting to everything with enthusiasm and excitement, and the truth was that he didn’t want to. Of course he wanted his kid to run to him and throw himself into his arms—Matt just wanted Noah to stay completely safe while he did all those things.
He’s safe, you know.
Ari was right. Noah was safe and sleeping. In the morning, he would be the same happy kid he’d been today before the fall by the pool.
And—amazingly—Ari was kissing him.
His self-control as an adult had always been strong as steel. First, to protect himself from his parents’ “lessons” on being tough, from his father’s angry ridicule and his mother’s total indifference, no matter how difficult or painful the situation. And then again, after Irene had flitted away and he’d learned to keep his walls up for everyone but the Mavericks. The women in his life had sent him a huge message, and he’d never allowed another woman close. He’d bedded them, but he’d never let them stay.
But with Ari in his arms, how could he help but give in to the dreams he’d had from the first moment he’d set eyes on her?
She tasted so damn sweet, smelled as fresh as wild flowers, felt as fragile as a new bloom. Then she moaned, a soft sound that twisted him up inside. When she opened her mouth, deepening their kiss, he was a goner. He turned with her, pushing her up against the wall, and kissed her with every ounce of need that had been building in him.
At long last, he could forget the accident, his guilt, his fear. In this moment, there was only Ari’s mouth under his, her body soft and yielding against him.
On her toes, she wound her arms around his neck, her curtain of hair falling over him. He went deep, playing with her tongue, drawing on her sweetness until he couldn’t breathe.
Until he couldn’t think of anything but her.
Sliding his hands down her torso, he splayed his fingers to cup the undersides of her breasts. Her body strained against him, almost begging. He slipped his thumbs over the peaks, stroking until they were tight and hard. There was no question that she wanted this as badly as he did, the moan in her throat ripe with desire and need.
If he wanted to stop, it had to be now. And yet the hard lessons he’d learned about women were suddenly like distant voices in a dense forest, just far enough away from him to ignore.
He dropped his hands to her hips and hauled her up, spreading her legs around his waist, letting her feel what she did to him, her hot center riding him through the thin leggings she wore.
He rocked into her, wanting her innate beauty. Her hopefulness. Her kindness. Wanting more than the physical. It was how thoughtfully she spoke, how caring she was, how selfless and yet how strong. So unlike the examples of his past.
Most of all, he wanted to believe that he was a good man, and in this moment, with her body so close, her lips so sweet, he almost could. Because he already knew that Ari would accept only the most worthy.
Somehow he managed to pull back enough to murmur, “I shouldn’t do this.”
“You should.”
“You’re my na—”
Her kiss cut off the rest. “I want this, Matt. I want you.”
He should let her go. Apologize for taking advantage of her. But the only words that came out of his mouth were, “Come with me.”
“Anywhere,” she whispered.
“Hold on tight.” To him. To this moment.
He cupped her against him and walked with her to his bedroom, shoving the door closed behind them. Shutting out the world and guilt and duty. For tonight, there was only the two of them.
And the forbidden desire that consumed them both.
Chapter Eight
The moon cast a bright swath across the room, the thick carpet, the massive bed. Beside the mattress, Matt let Ari’s feet slide to the floor. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He rained kisses along her neck and collarbone before adding, “If this is the first time.”
Even now, he was such a gentleman. “You don’t need to worry.” There’d been two guys she’d cared about as a teenager, but with both relationships, in the end they hadn’t mattered enough to each other to stay together. Standing in the circle of Matt’s arms, she realized that was all they’d been: boys. Not men like strong, loyal, loving Matt.
“Ari…” he murmured into her hair, his hands trailing down her arms. “I want to make you feel so good.”
Just being here with him was more than she could have ever hoped for. Fantasized, yes, but never hoped it would be real. Moments earlier, he’d been conflicted about wanting her, but she couldn’t stand the thought of his walking away. Not now. Not when they’d both finally given in to what she’d felt between them from the start.
“I want you to feel good too,” she said softly, “but even though I’m not a virgin, I’m not… I haven’t had much…”
He pulled back to cup her face in his hands, and in the heat of his eyes she was glad to see that desire was still winning out over duty or worries that she was his nanny. “All you need to do tonight”—he kissed her again—“is let me take care of you.”
She’d already known he was a caretaker—but now he showed her that it applied to everything he did, even pleasure. Emotion bubbled up, wanting to burst out of her as he gave her what she craved, pulling up the soft cotton of her T-shirt, inch by mind-altering inch, his fingertips setting her skin on fire. Then he tossed the shirt aside and stared at her as if she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
“Matt.” His name was the barest whisper on her lips. “Don’t do this. You’re a good man. A great father.”
“You barely know me.”
“I know enough.”
But when she looked up into his eyes, she could see that he wasn’t listening. He could hear only the harsh and critical voices inside his head. She’d had to fight those enough times herself to understand just how hard it was to do it on your own. So she did the only other thing she could think of to slice through those voices.
She closed her eyes, went up on her tippy toes.
And put her mouth on his.
* * *
Matt knew he should fight it, but everything in him needed Ari’s touch, her lips on his.
She reminded him of all the things he wanted…and all the things he wasn’t in control of. He couldn’t control what she did to him—how badly he wanted to taste her, touch her, lose himself in her, and forget everything else. He wasn’t able to stop Noah from reacting to everything with enthusiasm and excitement, and the truth was that he didn’t want to. Of course he wanted his kid to run to him and throw himself into his arms—Matt just wanted Noah to stay completely safe while he did all those things.
He’s safe, you know.
Ari was right. Noah was safe and sleeping. In the morning, he would be the same happy kid he’d been today before the fall by the pool.
And—amazingly—Ari was kissing him.
His self-control as an adult had always been strong as steel. First, to protect himself from his parents’ “lessons” on being tough, from his father’s angry ridicule and his mother’s total indifference, no matter how difficult or painful the situation. And then again, after Irene had flitted away and he’d learned to keep his walls up for everyone but the Mavericks. The women in his life had sent him a huge message, and he’d never allowed another woman close. He’d bedded them, but he’d never let them stay.
But with Ari in his arms, how could he help but give in to the dreams he’d had from the first moment he’d set eyes on her?
She tasted so damn sweet, smelled as fresh as wild flowers, felt as fragile as a new bloom. Then she moaned, a soft sound that twisted him up inside. When she opened her mouth, deepening their kiss, he was a goner. He turned with her, pushing her up against the wall, and kissed her with every ounce of need that had been building in him.
At long last, he could forget the accident, his guilt, his fear. In this moment, there was only Ari’s mouth under his, her body soft and yielding against him.
On her toes, she wound her arms around his neck, her curtain of hair falling over him. He went deep, playing with her tongue, drawing on her sweetness until he couldn’t breathe.
Until he couldn’t think of anything but her.
Sliding his hands down her torso, he splayed his fingers to cup the undersides of her breasts. Her body strained against him, almost begging. He slipped his thumbs over the peaks, stroking until they were tight and hard. There was no question that she wanted this as badly as he did, the moan in her throat ripe with desire and need.
If he wanted to stop, it had to be now. And yet the hard lessons he’d learned about women were suddenly like distant voices in a dense forest, just far enough away from him to ignore.
He dropped his hands to her hips and hauled her up, spreading her legs around his waist, letting her feel what she did to him, her hot center riding him through the thin leggings she wore.
He rocked into her, wanting her innate beauty. Her hopefulness. Her kindness. Wanting more than the physical. It was how thoughtfully she spoke, how caring she was, how selfless and yet how strong. So unlike the examples of his past.
Most of all, he wanted to believe that he was a good man, and in this moment, with her body so close, her lips so sweet, he almost could. Because he already knew that Ari would accept only the most worthy.
Somehow he managed to pull back enough to murmur, “I shouldn’t do this.”
“You should.”
“You’re my na—”
Her kiss cut off the rest. “I want this, Matt. I want you.”
He should let her go. Apologize for taking advantage of her. But the only words that came out of his mouth were, “Come with me.”
“Anywhere,” she whispered.
“Hold on tight.” To him. To this moment.
He cupped her against him and walked with her to his bedroom, shoving the door closed behind them. Shutting out the world and guilt and duty. For tonight, there was only the two of them.
And the forbidden desire that consumed them both.
Chapter Eight
The moon cast a bright swath across the room, the thick carpet, the massive bed. Beside the mattress, Matt let Ari’s feet slide to the floor. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He rained kisses along her neck and collarbone before adding, “If this is the first time.”
Even now, he was such a gentleman. “You don’t need to worry.” There’d been two guys she’d cared about as a teenager, but with both relationships, in the end they hadn’t mattered enough to each other to stay together. Standing in the circle of Matt’s arms, she realized that was all they’d been: boys. Not men like strong, loyal, loving Matt.
“Ari…” he murmured into her hair, his hands trailing down her arms. “I want to make you feel so good.”
Just being here with him was more than she could have ever hoped for. Fantasized, yes, but never hoped it would be real. Moments earlier, he’d been conflicted about wanting her, but she couldn’t stand the thought of his walking away. Not now. Not when they’d both finally given in to what she’d felt between them from the start.
“I want you to feel good too,” she said softly, “but even though I’m not a virgin, I’m not… I haven’t had much…”
He pulled back to cup her face in his hands, and in the heat of his eyes she was glad to see that desire was still winning out over duty or worries that she was his nanny. “All you need to do tonight”—he kissed her again—“is let me take care of you.”
She’d already known he was a caretaker—but now he showed her that it applied to everything he did, even pleasure. Emotion bubbled up, wanting to burst out of her as he gave her what she craved, pulling up the soft cotton of her T-shirt, inch by mind-altering inch, his fingertips setting her skin on fire. Then he tossed the shirt aside and stared at her as if she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
