Find You in the Dark
Page 24

 A. Meredith Walters

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Was I expecting too much too fast? Maybe I was being pushy and inconsiderate of Clay's feelings and needs. Should I back off and let him come to me when he was ready? As great and thoughtful as that all sounded, it so wasn't me. I wasn't one to sit back and wait for shit to happen. So that's why this whole will- they-won't- they thing was exhausting. But I didn't want to give up. Clay was worth more than that. Our friendship was something special and I couldn't ruin that.
I chuckled to myself and I headed home. Damn it if Daniel hadn't been right -(not that I would EVER tell him that-). He had told me that one day I would get what all the fuss was about, and that day had just arrived.
Chapter Seven
“It's packed! I don't even recognize half of these people.” I whined as Rachel and I parked my Corolla in the field behind Melissa James's house. Rachel pulled the visor down and touched up her lip gloss and fluffed her hair. “Awesome! I'm down with meeting some new people tonight.” Rachel said, pulling on her pink cardigan.
I was less enthused about getting out of the car. The thing I had always liked about Melissa's parties was that they were usually small and relatively controlled with no more than eighty or so people. I could relax and hang out without dealing with drunken idiots trying to cop a feel. If I was going to be groped, it would be on my terms only.
But this party was heaving. There were at least 100 cars parked in the field and crowds of people dancing and drinking out of solo cups around the humongous bonfire. “Get out of the car, Mags. Lets go mingle.” I ran a brush through my limp hair and finally gave up and pulled it back in a ponytail. “Uh uh.” Rachel said, pulling the tie out. She hated it when I put my hair back, telling me I was so much prettier with it down. She threw the hair tie out of the window. “Rachel!” I yelled. But she was already moving away, toward the huge fire leaping against the dark sky.
I looked quickly around, trying to spot Clay's BMW in the throng of cars. I couldn't find it, so I grudgingly followed my friend. “Hey, Maggie.” A guy slurred as I approached the party. I squinted in the darkness and made out Raymond Lewis, a guy in my grade who was friends with Daniel and often hung in our circle. I was friends with his girlfriend Clare, who had been in French Club with me freshman year.
It was obvious Ray had already had a lot to drink, as he hung onto me for support. Damn it, I had told Clay this wouldn't be that kind of party. I was just made a liar, and that pissed me off.
“Get off, Ray.” I shook my arm, trying to get loose. Raymond awkwardly slung his arm around my waist, more in an effort to stay upright it seemed than in any kind of friendly affection. “I think you need a drink, Maggie. Come on.” I wiggled out of his grasp and didn't follow as he tottered off in the direction of Melissa's house.
I found Rachel, red cup already in hand, who had been intercepted by Jeremiah Higgins and Lila Casteel. Rachel gave me a smile as I approached before turning back to her conversation with Jeremiah and Lila. They were apparently trying to recruit her for the Humanitarian Club or something equally boring. I stood there not really listening, tapping my foot, and scoping out the party.
People were really drunk. I could see a few girls throwing- up in the bushes already. Couples were grinding against each other as they danced badly to the techno music blaring from the house and people were sneaking off to do god knows what in the woods. Wow, this was seriously awful and I couldn't believe I actually wanted to come. I just hoped Clayton had decided to bail, even though I had asked him not to.
No such luck. Just as the thought crossed my mind, there he was. He had just walked toward the bonfire when Kylie -(Daniels' now on again girlfriend-) and her bitch posse stopped him. I wasn't sure whether Clay had spoken with any of them since their awkward introduction at Bubble's. But there they were, chatting it up like BFFs.
Grr, that crazy jealousy knifed through me again. Dana and McKenna laughed at something Clayton said. Dana in her bleach blond glory, tossing her stupid, perfect curls back and laying her hand on my Clay's arm. Okay, I needed to check myself. He wasn't my Clay. He was only my friend, who I thought might kiss me earlier today. That didn't mean I had some sort of claim.
Despite my rationalizations, I was still beyond annoyed by the very obvious flirting happening on the other side of the bonfire. It was like watching a car wreck. My eyes were glued to the horror in front of me. After a few minutes, I was relieved that Kylie and the bimbettes started moving back toward the house. Clayton stood there in the flickering shadow of the bonfire, looking like some sort of male model in his dark jeans and green Henley shirt. He was without his faded army jacket for once and he looked almost naked without it.
I nudged Rachel in the side and cocked my head in Clay's direction letting her know I was heading over to him. “I'll be there in a sec.” She told me. I walked over to Clay and I knew the exact moment he saw me. It was like one of those super cheesy movie moments when the boy and girl see each other across a crowded room, their eyes locked only on each other. They move slowly toward one another, as if pulled by an invisible force. Then they rush into each others' arms, kissing passionately, and declaring their undying love.
Well, my scene didn't quite go that way. Clay and I met half way and he kept his hands firmly in his jeans' pockets and nodded his head in my direction. Though, he did give me an awfully nice smile. “Hey, Mags. Raging party. Not exactly what I was expecting.” He said jokingly as a junior stumbled past us to puke his guts out in the dirt not even ten feet behind me.