Find You in the Dark
Page 72

I couldn't take this stupid wall that had suddenly gone up between us, so I scooted over to him on the bench and put my hand on his upper thigh. I leaned in and rubbed my nose on his chin. “Don't be like that, Clay. Please.” I whispered. I felt him pull away slightly, but I didn't give up. “You know I want to be with you all the time.” I insisted, kissing the corner of his down turned mouth.
I felt him soften and he covered my hand with his. “I just can't take not seeing you or talking to you at night. I need you.” He told me urgently. His eyes met mine. “We'll figure something out. I need you too.” I reassured him, kissing him gently.
That seemed to settle him down and I could feel his body relax beside mine. “I told my parents I was staying after school so I could get some extra help in Chemistry. Why don't I blow off my study group and we go to your house.” I suggested, kissing him again.
Clay put his hands on my face, rubbing his nose with mine in a way that made my heart melt. I saw his eyes smolder as he contemplated what I was suggesting. “Mmmm. I like that idea.” he murmured, wrapping his arms around me again and pressing his face into my hair. At that moment the vice principal, Mr. Kane, decided to make an appearance. “Enough you two. We have school rules about PDA. Do you need to come down to the office to review them?” He crossed his hairy arms over his chest and looked stern.
Clay and I broke apart as I gathered my messenger bag and tray. Last thing I needed was for Mr. Kane to call my parents because I couldn't keep my hands off of my boyfriend at school. That would make them love him even more. “No, sir. We're sorry.” I stuttered, unable to look at the administrator. I could hear Daniel and Rachel trying to keep from laughing as Mr. Kane walked away, off to find other teens to terrorize.
“Well, that was just freaking great.” I got up and went to dump my tray, my face stinging with mortification. Clay came up behind me. “Don't get so worked up, Mags. What's the big deal?” Clay was laughing and it irritated the hell out of me. “Well, I don't like getting called out by our the vice principal for making out with my boyfriend alright? It's embarrassing. I don't need to give my parents any more ammunition right now.” Clay tried to grab me by the waist to pull me close again. I shoved him back. “Stop it, Clay. Give it a rest. I don't want to get into trouble.”
Clay's face turned dark. “Fine. I'll see you after school.” And with that he turned and left the cafeteria. I sighed and didn't bother to call after him, feeling zapped of all my energy.
Clay was at my locker after school, wearing an expression of contrition that I was becoming all too familiar with. “I'm sorry.” He said, as I got in my locker to drop off my books. I wanted to bang my head into the wall. I was so sick of hearing I'M SORRY!
I took a deep breath. “Do you ever get tired of apologizing?” I asked Clay coldly. Clay frowned. “What's that supposed to mean? I just wanted you to know that I understand I was a dick and that I'm sorry, because I love you. Why do you have to be so dramatic about it?” He asked me with obvious irritation.
I barked out a laugh and slammed my locker door shut. “Me, dramatic? From you, that's rich.” I huffed, starting off down the hallway. Clay caught up with me and grabbed my arm, pulling me to a stop. “Are you seriously that pissed? I mean, I get that I was kind of an ass**le, but I don't think it warrants this sort of reaction.” Wow, he really didn't get how our relationship, even as much I wanted to deny it, was falling into this crazy pattern of him being a jerk and then apologizing for it. Of me getting upset but then relieved when he came around.
“Don't you see that fifty percent of our interactions have become you spouting your apologies for something you've said or done? That we spend most of our time upset at each other? This is getting ridiculous!” I said in exasperation.
Clay tugged on my hand and wrapped his arms around my stiff body. “I know, baby. But I'm trying. I really am. Please be patient with me.” He urged, leaning down to place his lips on mine. I wanted to tell him that “trying” was quickly becoming not good enough. That I was emotionally spent and I wanted to get back to being that boy and girl who swam together in the river all those months ago.
But I could feel the desperation in his embrace, the sadness tinged in his kiss. I knew he loved me. And I wanted so badly for that to be all that I needed to be happy. “Can we go to my house? I think we need some time alone. Just the two of us. With everything going on, We're both stressed out.” Clay reasoned. I felt myself weaken and cave to him. “Yeah. Let's go.” Clay gave me the most dazzling smile and lifted me off my feet and swung me around.
“I have the most beautiful and amazing girlfriend EVER!” He yelled as he covered my face with kisses after putting me back on the ground. I hid my face in embarrassment at his display of affection. I could feel Clay's laughter under my cheek as he led us to his car.
As I got in, I had a moment of guilt that here I was again, lying to my parents. Though, as Clay leaned over and kissed me lovingly on the mouth, warmth settled into my belly, ensuring those feelings were fleeting.
Clay pealed out of the parking lot, screeching his tires in his hurry to get away from the school. “Slow down Clay, or we'll never make it to your house.” Clay grinned his crazy, happy smile and reached over to take my hand. He kissed my fingers, one at a time as he came to a stop light. “I love you, Maggie.” I smiled. I couldn't help but forget everything else when he said those words to me.