Find You in the Dark
Page 84

“I'm going with you.” I told him, pulling away. Clay frowned and shook his head. “No way, Maggie. You have friends and a family that love you. You can not give up your life for me. I've already taken so much from you. Don't do this! I'd never forgive myself.” Clay caressed my face with his fingers. I reached up and held his hand to my face.
“I can't live here without you! I'm not giving up anything, because you are my life! You are not allowed to make this choice for me. I choose to be with you. You will always be my choice!” I said emphatically, trying to get him to see reason.
Clay shook his head again. “No! You aren't coming with me.” He started to get to his feet. I jumped up after him and grabbed his arms. “If you leave me here, Clay I will never forgive you! You will only be showing me that everything you've said is a lie. You told me I was your forever! Now prove it!” I implored desperately.
Clay looked torn. I knew he wanted to do what was best for me. But I also knew how badly he needed me. “It doesn't really matter what you say, I'm coming.” I said when he hadn't responded. I went to my closet and pulled out my duffel bag. Going to my drawers I grabbed handfuls of underwear and bras. Shirts, jeans, pajamas.
When I was finished, I pulled on a pair of jeans and a heavy sweatshirt, grabbing my fleece jacket off of the chair. After I was dressed, I turned to look at Clay. “How can I let you give up everything for me like this? It's not right!” He sounded sadly resigned. I went over and wrapped my arms around him.
I looked up into his gorgeous face and knew that my life began with him. And that it would end with him. “I am not giving up anything. I'm getting what I've wanted since I ran into you on your first day of school.” Clay's mouth quirked up into a smile at the memory. “I'm getting a life with you. That's what I want. Nothing else.” I assured him.
Clay hugged me tightly. “I love you.” He whispered into my hair. I untangled myself from him and tugged on his arm. “We should get going.” I said and Clay hesitated. “Are you going to leave a note? I mean, your parents are going to be really worried.”
I felt a pang of guilt thinking about my parents finding my empty bed in the morning. It gutted me to hurt them like this. I looked at my beautiful boy and all doubts left my mind. He needed me and that was all that mattered.
“I'll call them.” Clay arched his eyebrow at me. “I will. I promise.” I grabbed my cell phone to make the point. Clay let out a deep breath and took my hand. “Okay, let's do this.” We quietly crept out of my bedroom and made our way down the stairs.
Once we were outside the house, I stopped and looked at him questioningly. “How did you get in my room, by the way?” I asked. Clay looked at me sheepishly. “I um...well, I climbed the tree.” I looked at the side of the house to the enormous Maple that grew beside my window. “But you hate heights.” I said, a little in awe.
Clay shrugged as we walked down the street toward my car. “Well, let's just say it took me awhile to get up there. But it was worth it.” He looked at me sideways and my heart thudded against my chest. “Yeah, totally worth it.” I agreed, smiling.
I thought about sending a text to Rachel and Daniel. I felt like, maybe I should tell them what was going on. They would be furious with me. But I couldn't change things now. I was quiet as Clay drove down the darkened interstate. He said we'd drive just over the border into North Carolina and then stop somewhere to sleep.
The further we drove from home, the more ugly doubts crept into my mind. I looked down at our hands joined together and felt the electric tingle where our skin touched. No, I made the right decision. This boy was my world.
“Are you going to text Rachel or Danny?” Clay asked me suddenly. I looked up with a start, having been lost in my fairy tale thoughts of a happily ever after with him. “Um. I don't know.” I answered a little unsurely.
Clay grunted and suddenly pulled off the road and put the car into park. “What are you doing?” I asked him in confusion. Clay unbuckled his seat belt and climbed over into my seat. He pulled me into his arms and kissed my entire face before stopping on my mouth.
“I know what you're giving up to do this. And I love you so much, Maggie. You have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met and I thank God every day that he brought you into my life.” His lips lingered on mine, tasting me.
“But please don't give up on everything else because of me. I've made my choices. I'm okay with them. But your friends deserve to know you're okay. I don't want you to wake up tomorrow morning thinking this is the worst mistake you could have made.”
“Aren't you glad I came with you?” I asked quietly, worried he regretted bringing me along. Clay kissed my mouth, his lips lingering on mine. “God, of course I'm glad you came. But I just don't want you to think you have to cut everyone out of your life because of it. I want you to be happy.” He told me. His eyes never left mine and I could tell he really meant what he was saying.
Clay reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out my phone. He put it in my hand. “Text Rachel and Daniel. Please.” I looked at him and nodded. I leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I love you.” I told him again before scrolling through my contacts until I found Rachel's number.
I sent her a quick text telling her that I had left with Clay. That things had gotten bad with his family and he needed a little breather- a break. I asked her to tell my parents that I was sorry, but that I was okay and I would contact them soon. I knew she wouldn't get the text for awhile, since it was 2:30 in the morning. Just hitting the send button made me feel better, made my chest not feel as tight.