Finding Faith
Page 62

The worst thing about it was that I was working for something that Finn should’ve been giving me anyway. Jimmy was his son. There was no denying that one. Not only had Finn been the only guy I’d ever had sex with, but Jimmy looked just like Finn—same eyes and dimples, the works.
On Monday, I went back to the condo to clean. I felt relief when I unlocked the door and found no one inside. That relief was instantly replaced with nerves when I looked around the corner and saw Finn staring back at me from the couch. Quickly, I turned away, set down my purse, and went to work. The place was trashed—all my hard work from the week before undone in just a weekend.
“Look who it is, the preacher’s devil daughter.” He chuckled from the couch.
I ignored him as I loaded the dishwasher.
“I have to admit, you look nothing like the girl I used to know. I guess age is catching up with you, huh?”
He sounded closer, but still I continued to ignore him. His words stung. I’d already started to feel unattractive. I had dark circles around my eyes from lack of sleep, and I worked so much that I was finding it hard to gain or keep on weight.
I turned on the dishwasher and started on the trash. There were bottles and drugs everywhere. I shook my head since obviously nothing had changed in Finn’s life. It was probably a good thing that things turned out the way they had all those years ago. I deserved better and so did Jimmy.
Once I was done cleaning and mopping the kitchen, I turned to start on the next room. When I did, Finn was standing behind me with a bottle of soda in his hand. He grinned down at me with sinister eyes as he set the soda on the counter. I started to step away from him, but then he purposely pushed over the soda. It spilled all over the clean countertop and began dripping onto the floor.
I moved quickly to pick up the bottle. When I stood again, he was walking away, laughing. Once he was completely gone from the room, I let go of the tears that had formed in my eyes. I swiped them from my face before I grabbed the cloth and began to clean up the mess.
Three hours later, I was finally done cleaning the rest of the condo. The only room that was left was Finn’s, and I knew that’s where he was. I stepped up to the door and tapped softly.
“Come in!” he called from inside the room.
I pushed the door open and stepped into the room. The smell of beer assaulted me and made me gag a little.
“Come to try me out again?” He took a hard swig from a beer, his bloodshot eyes never leaving mine.
He was propped up in his bed without his shirt on. His body looked just as amazing as it had years ago. With the exception of a few new tattoos that I refused to look at, he looked exactly the same—more stylish maybe, but still just as beautiful as he always was. I secretly hated him for being so stress free. He didn’t have a kid to worry about. He didn’t have bills to worry about or whether or not he had to put food on the table for a kid who wouldn’t eat anything but pizza and chicken nuggets most of the time.
There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but he wasn’t worth it.
His glassy blue eyes devoured me from across the room. Beside him was a half-empty bottle of liquor, and there were clothes everywhere. His jeans were unbuttoned, leaving a space between his abdominal muscles and his jeans. I knew what was under those jeans. I’d been in those jeans, and although I knew it was wrong, I had a brief moment of weakness. I wanted to climb in that bed with him.
Something about the way he looked at me was alarming. It was like I didn’t affect him at all. Like he couldn’t care less that I was there. He didn’t blink. He just stared right through me. Saw all the shattered faithless parts of Faith and disregarded them completely. I couldn’t help myself. I responded.
“Try you out?”
“So you do speak? I was starting to think you’d gone dumb, too.” He took a big swig from his liquor bottle and chased it with his beer. “I’ll admit, the last time you had some of this,” he said as he grabbed himself, “I wasn’t as good as I am now. I’ve learned my way around a woman’s body. I could do things to you that you wouldn’t believe, and I could do it with my eyes closed. Maybe then you wouldn’t run off the next day like a bat out of hell.” He was drunk, slurring.
I felt his seductive words in my thighs. How was he able to do that? How was he able to send his words across the room and make them dance inside my panties that way?
“I didn’t…” I started to defend myself and my actions.
“Don’t. I don’t care what you did or didn’t do. Either you’re here to screw or we have nothing to talk about.” He finished his beer and set it next to the liquor bottle.