Tanner didn’t hesitate with his response, “Done.”
“Is that going to cause a problem with you and Rhea?” Knox looks between the two of us.
Managing Club Mango would mean that Tanner would have to move to South Carolina, two hours away.
Tanner stares at me, his wheels are spinning. “No.” He answers Knox. “You’re eighteen, you can move out. There isn’t anything your father can do or say to stop this.”
I manage to muster up a small smile, he’s right. “Not a damn thing.”
“Find a place to live, close to the club and get me the information. I’ll get everything set up.” Knox tells us.
“You don’t have to do that.” Tanner argues.
“Yes, I do.”
“Knox,” I warn.
“Just let me do things my way. Just…I have to do this. It’s the way it has to be, the only way.” Knox scrubs his face with his hands. “Let’s go find Rex.”
Three days later, Audrey and Austin Mitchell were laid to rest; two days after that Savanna and Knox’s unborn baby were buried. There’s always this surreal feeling enveloping everyone that seems to fall like a suffocating blanket over people when a tragedy like this happens. Once loved ones are buried though it’s almost like the blanket lifts and we are faced with the reality of this “new normal,” being forced to live our lives differently without each of them in it. There’s no step-by-step guidebook that tells you how to do that though.
I want instructions, I want to read words that will help me show others how to cope and move on but I can barely cope myself. Have you ever read something and just the intensity of a few words gave you tingles? I once read a phrase that actually made my heart skip a beat, although for different reasons at the time. It said “One breath, one step, one day at a time…” Little did I know how appropriate this phrase was going to be for all of us as we dealt with this unimaginable loss and went on with our lives like nothing had changed when, in fact, everything had.
8
~ Age 23 ~
Rhea
Life seems to be slowly getting back to normal. Since Tanner and I have moved to Myrtle Beach to take over running Club Mango things are running smooth compared to some of the bumps in the road we had in the beginning.
I haven’t seen or heard from Daddy in five years. When Tanner and I went home a few weeks after Savanna’s death we told Daddy that we were moving to help Knox. Daddy tried to bribe me into staying with him. Told me he’d pay my way through school, he’d buy me any car I wanted and offered to help me buy a house after graduating. Only problem with that was it didn’t include letting Tanner be a part of my life. When I told him if Tanner couldn’t be a part of that with me then I didn’t want anything from him. He flipped the f**k out and cut me out of his life. He told me I was just like my mother. It took everything I had to stop Tanner from punching him in the face that night. It was a f**king disaster.
It took Knox and Rex a long time to come down and visit us after losing Savanna and their parents; it was hard on them. It was hard on all of us really. Audrey and Austin were just those cool parents that you wished were really yours. Audrey was a better mama to me then my real mama was at times. When I first got my period it was Audrey who took me to the store and explained how things worked. My mama always seemed to have more important things going on in life. The summer following their death, Cade and Jeremy couldn’t take it anymore and more or less continued on with life as if Knox’s parents just weren’t come down during that summer, like something came up that they couldn’t get out of. Every weekend Cade and Jeremy would force Tanner and me to go over to the Mitchell’s beach house and have a BBQ like old time sakes. I loved them a little more for doing that, for keeping the memories alive. Audrey and Austin would want that.
Knox called me the week of July fourth five years after the passing of his parents throwing me off guard a little. When he does call he’s normally calling for Tanner and then I’ll get to talk to him for a little bit after that.
“I’m coming for the weekend.” He rushes outs.
“You’re what?” I say choking on the sweet tea I just took a drink of.
Knox chuckles, “I’m coming down and I’m bringing some people with me.”
I took the phone away from my ear and stared at it for a long minute. “You’re coming here without us begging you?”
Knox sighs, “Yeah.”
I shake my head, “Hmm.”
“Hmm, what?”
“Did you hit your head?” I joke.
“Ha. Ha. Stop being a brat and make sure the house is clean¸ please. I know Cade and Jeremy have been using the house like a bachelor pad.” He’s right, they have been.
“Hmm.”
Knox groans, “What?”
“If by people, do you mean a girl?” I had to know, this was huge.
“What?” He’s avoiding the question by acting as if he couldn’t hear me the first time.
“You heard me Knox.” I huff. “I take it you like her too.” It has to be a girl. It’s the only thing that makes logical scene.
“How do you know I’m bringing a girl?” He questions.
Now it’s my turn to sigh, “I’m not a dummy.”
“I beg to differ.”
“Jerk.”
“You know it.”
“Oh my God, are you bringing more than one girl? Please tell me you haven’t become another Cade and Jeremy?” I stammer thinking that he said he’s bringing “people” with him and that means more than one girl.
“Have you lost your mind? She has a friend she’s bringing with her.” He clarifies, as a breath of relief escapes me. “Rex is actually good friends with the both of them.” Ah, now that helps explain things a little better. The little brother is trying to hook the big brother up. How cute.
“When are you coming?”
“Friday some time.”
“Okay.”
“That’s it? No twenty questions?”
I ponder that for a second, “Nope, not right now at least.”
“Love you, Little One.”
“Love you too.”
“Talk to you later.”
“Hey, Knox?”
“Yeah,” he hesitates.
“I’m glad you found someone.” I hang up before he can respond because he’ll just deny it.
I left Tanner to take care of things at the club on Thursday while I ran around and got the house ready and bought some food for the weekend. For some reason I was nervous about their visit and that was just silly. It was almost as if I was the mom meeting my son’s girlfriend for the first time. What the hell has gotten into me?
“Is that going to cause a problem with you and Rhea?” Knox looks between the two of us.
Managing Club Mango would mean that Tanner would have to move to South Carolina, two hours away.
Tanner stares at me, his wheels are spinning. “No.” He answers Knox. “You’re eighteen, you can move out. There isn’t anything your father can do or say to stop this.”
I manage to muster up a small smile, he’s right. “Not a damn thing.”
“Find a place to live, close to the club and get me the information. I’ll get everything set up.” Knox tells us.
“You don’t have to do that.” Tanner argues.
“Yes, I do.”
“Knox,” I warn.
“Just let me do things my way. Just…I have to do this. It’s the way it has to be, the only way.” Knox scrubs his face with his hands. “Let’s go find Rex.”
Three days later, Audrey and Austin Mitchell were laid to rest; two days after that Savanna and Knox’s unborn baby were buried. There’s always this surreal feeling enveloping everyone that seems to fall like a suffocating blanket over people when a tragedy like this happens. Once loved ones are buried though it’s almost like the blanket lifts and we are faced with the reality of this “new normal,” being forced to live our lives differently without each of them in it. There’s no step-by-step guidebook that tells you how to do that though.
I want instructions, I want to read words that will help me show others how to cope and move on but I can barely cope myself. Have you ever read something and just the intensity of a few words gave you tingles? I once read a phrase that actually made my heart skip a beat, although for different reasons at the time. It said “One breath, one step, one day at a time…” Little did I know how appropriate this phrase was going to be for all of us as we dealt with this unimaginable loss and went on with our lives like nothing had changed when, in fact, everything had.
8
~ Age 23 ~
Rhea
Life seems to be slowly getting back to normal. Since Tanner and I have moved to Myrtle Beach to take over running Club Mango things are running smooth compared to some of the bumps in the road we had in the beginning.
I haven’t seen or heard from Daddy in five years. When Tanner and I went home a few weeks after Savanna’s death we told Daddy that we were moving to help Knox. Daddy tried to bribe me into staying with him. Told me he’d pay my way through school, he’d buy me any car I wanted and offered to help me buy a house after graduating. Only problem with that was it didn’t include letting Tanner be a part of my life. When I told him if Tanner couldn’t be a part of that with me then I didn’t want anything from him. He flipped the f**k out and cut me out of his life. He told me I was just like my mother. It took everything I had to stop Tanner from punching him in the face that night. It was a f**king disaster.
It took Knox and Rex a long time to come down and visit us after losing Savanna and their parents; it was hard on them. It was hard on all of us really. Audrey and Austin were just those cool parents that you wished were really yours. Audrey was a better mama to me then my real mama was at times. When I first got my period it was Audrey who took me to the store and explained how things worked. My mama always seemed to have more important things going on in life. The summer following their death, Cade and Jeremy couldn’t take it anymore and more or less continued on with life as if Knox’s parents just weren’t come down during that summer, like something came up that they couldn’t get out of. Every weekend Cade and Jeremy would force Tanner and me to go over to the Mitchell’s beach house and have a BBQ like old time sakes. I loved them a little more for doing that, for keeping the memories alive. Audrey and Austin would want that.
Knox called me the week of July fourth five years after the passing of his parents throwing me off guard a little. When he does call he’s normally calling for Tanner and then I’ll get to talk to him for a little bit after that.
“I’m coming for the weekend.” He rushes outs.
“You’re what?” I say choking on the sweet tea I just took a drink of.
Knox chuckles, “I’m coming down and I’m bringing some people with me.”
I took the phone away from my ear and stared at it for a long minute. “You’re coming here without us begging you?”
Knox sighs, “Yeah.”
I shake my head, “Hmm.”
“Hmm, what?”
“Did you hit your head?” I joke.
“Ha. Ha. Stop being a brat and make sure the house is clean¸ please. I know Cade and Jeremy have been using the house like a bachelor pad.” He’s right, they have been.
“Hmm.”
Knox groans, “What?”
“If by people, do you mean a girl?” I had to know, this was huge.
“What?” He’s avoiding the question by acting as if he couldn’t hear me the first time.
“You heard me Knox.” I huff. “I take it you like her too.” It has to be a girl. It’s the only thing that makes logical scene.
“How do you know I’m bringing a girl?” He questions.
Now it’s my turn to sigh, “I’m not a dummy.”
“I beg to differ.”
“Jerk.”
“You know it.”
“Oh my God, are you bringing more than one girl? Please tell me you haven’t become another Cade and Jeremy?” I stammer thinking that he said he’s bringing “people” with him and that means more than one girl.
“Have you lost your mind? She has a friend she’s bringing with her.” He clarifies, as a breath of relief escapes me. “Rex is actually good friends with the both of them.” Ah, now that helps explain things a little better. The little brother is trying to hook the big brother up. How cute.
“When are you coming?”
“Friday some time.”
“Okay.”
“That’s it? No twenty questions?”
I ponder that for a second, “Nope, not right now at least.”
“Love you, Little One.”
“Love you too.”
“Talk to you later.”
“Hey, Knox?”
“Yeah,” he hesitates.
“I’m glad you found someone.” I hang up before he can respond because he’ll just deny it.
I left Tanner to take care of things at the club on Thursday while I ran around and got the house ready and bought some food for the weekend. For some reason I was nervous about their visit and that was just silly. It was almost as if I was the mom meeting my son’s girlfriend for the first time. What the hell has gotten into me?
