Finding the Lost
Page 20

That power that had been hovering there, waiting for her, erupted in a tidal wave of electricity. Her hair stood up on end and her skin heated as bright sparks arced over her limbs. Her eyes grew hot and she felt like she might explode.
Andra shut her eyes tight against the pressure, and her vision filled with scenes from Paul’s life. She saw him as a boy learning to use a sword, his limbs awkward as he became accustomed to their ever-growing length. She saw him as a teenager going toe-to-toe with half a dozen demons. She saw him as a younger man standing over the graves of his mother and sister.
She heard him vow that day to do whatever it took to rid the world of the Synestryn. He’d give up his freedom, his power, his life—anything—to protect those whom the Synestryn hunted.
Then she saw a woman. Kate. She was standing on a lush hilltop, her long blond hair and billowing skirt flowing out behind her on the wind. Her deep green eyes matched the color of the surrounding forest, and when Paul approached her, she felt his resignation. His acceptance. He’d loved her, but Kate loved another. He’d tried to force her to stay with him, and she’d rejected him.
“I will never be yours,” she told him.
Andra watched as she took his luceria off and placed it back around his neck. Paul fell to his knees and clutched his bare chest as she watched, her face calm and impassive. Leaves fell from the branches of his tattoo until the limbs were nearly bare, and he was sweating and writhing on the ground in pain.
Kate saw his suffering, too, but after watching for a long moment, she turned her back on him and walked away. Toward another man.
Hours later, two young men found him lying on the ground. They carried his lanky body back to a village and laid him on the dirt floor inside a rough cottage. A beautiful woman in a gray gown knelt beside him. She placed her hands on his chest and bowed her head as if in prayer.
Slowly, small buds began to form on the limbs of his tree tattoo.
The woman slumped over him and a craggy-faced man caught her up in his arms before she could fall.
The teenaged Paul opened his eyes and saw what the woman had done. Andra didn’t know the language they spoke, but she understood the words all the same.
“You aren’t finished growing yet, Theronai,” said the woman in a weak voice. “It saved your life. That and the fact that you weren’t with her for long. Fortunately, you’ll recover this time.”
The older man shot him a warning look. “There won’t be a next time. I won’t allow Gilda to do this for you again. It costs her too much. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sire.”
The older man looked to one of the boys who’d brought Paul there. “Find Kate. Bring her here to answer for her actions.”
The boy bowed and fled from the cottage.
“Go now, Paul, and make sure you’re worth the trouble you’ve caused this day.”
Paul pushed himself to his feet and made his way unsteadily out the door. Andra could feel his anger and embarrassment as if they were her own. She could also feel his determination to do good and make this older man proud.
Years rushed by in Andra’s head. She saw tiny glimpses of his life. His struggles to live up to his expectations. His battles. He’d fought and killed thousands of monsters, saved hundreds of lives, and had surely been worth whatever trouble he’d caused.
Why, then, didn’t he feel he’d done enough?
When she came back to reality, she asked, “What the hell was that?”
“What did you see?”
“You as a boy. What Kate did to you. I don’t understand what happened, but it nearly killed you, didn’t it?”
He looked away. “It’s in the past. What matters is what we do now.”
“Logan said that you might be able to make me strong enough to help Nika.”
Golden shards of hope lit up within his eyes. “Is that what you want?”
“Yes.”
“Then we must complete our union.”
“How do we do that?” she asked.
He leaned toward her, staring at her mouth. “I’ve given you my promise to hold your life sacred above my own, and now, to seal us together, you must give me a promise in return.”
Chapter 11
“What kind of promise?” asked Andra.
“Promise to stay with me,” Paul told her. It was an open-ended vow, and one that would tie her to him for life. Part of him knew tricking her was wrong, but the rest of him didn’t give a shit. He wanted to keep her. Forever. He didn’t want to give her the chance to walk away like Kate had. He never wanted to go back to that life of torment again.
“I can’t stay with you. Nika needs me.”
Her rejection flooded him with anger and resentment. He wanted to roar at her that he needed her, too, but he held his tongue. Now was not the time to lose his head. He had to be careful here. Cautious. He’d been hasty when he’d bonded with Kate, and he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. He was older now. A grown man with three more centuries of maturity to keep him steady.
Three more centuries of pain screaming at him to make it work this time.
Paul took her hand in his and made his tone patient and understanding. “I would never stand in the way of you caring for your sister. I already told you I’d help you keep her safe.”
She frowned at him as if trying to figure something out. “But this is a real promise, right? I can feel it.” She pressed her hand to her chest. “Whatever I promise will happen, whether or not I still want to uphold my end later.”
So, she did know the stakes. He tried to convince himself that was for the best, but failed. He needed her to free him. To save him.
“Then promise me whatever you can. Give me as much as you can and I will be content.” Somehow.
She nodded slowly and spoke her vow with careful wording. “Okay. As long as it doesn’t get in the way of Nika’s safety, I promise to stay with you for three days.”
Three days. A mere blink of time to a man like him who’d lived for centuries. Even Kate had stayed with him longer.
Paul’s grand visions of a pain-free future at Andra’s side crumbled to dust. There would be no forever for them, only a few brief days. He wanted to scream at her that it wasn’t enough, that she had to take it back and give him more, but it was too late. The bond was made, the deal done, and Paul could already feel that promise becoming a part of him, albeit a small part.
Resentment rose up in his throat, leaving a bitter taste behind. He’d spent his entire life fighting and suffering through pain and loneliness so that he could keep humans safe from the Synestryn. He’d never once shirked his duties or tried to avoid the more dangerous missions so someone else would have to take his place. He’d nearly died from injury or poison more times than he could count, but every time, he went back to the front lines as soon as he was able, because they needed him. And now, to survive, he needed a partner—the only thing he’d ever wanted for himself. He’d finally found another woman who could save his life so he could keep fighting. He was willing to give her everything he had, including his life, and all she could offer him in return was three days.
How could she do this to him? How could she betray him so cruelly without even giving him a chance to prove to her how much he had to offer?
How could she be like Kate?
“You’re angry,” she told him, frowning at him in confusion. “What did I do wrong?”
Paul stilled his rioting thoughts. She could probably already feel his emotions leaking through the connection of the luceria—his ring and her necklace. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I was just hoping for more time. That’s all.”
She narrowed her eyes as if she knew he wasn’t telling her the whole truth. “It isn’t enough?”
She didn’t understand, but then how could she? She wasn’t part of his world. She didn’t know what her vow meant or how it affected his life. “It will be fine,” he reassured her. At least it was longer than he probably would have lived without her. He should have been happy about that. But he wasn’t.
“What happens then? At the end of our time?” she asked him.
“The luceria falls off and you are free.” And I go back to dying in pain.
“That’s it?”
He chose to misunderstand her question. He didn’t want her knowing of his weakness—her power over him, and the guilt it would cause her if she knew the truth. She deserved better than that. “That’s all you were willing to give.”
“But what happens if I decide to stick with you longer than that?”
Paul had been so outraged he hadn’t stopped to consider it. Hope rose up in him once again. He didn’t have to die. She could still save him. All he had to do was make her love him before their time was up. Then she’d promise to stay with him forever.
He could do it. He had the ability, now that he was connected to Andra. He could use the luceria to invade her mind and whisper to her soul that he was the only man for her. He could convince her that she was lost without him, and that they’d been made to love each other. It would work.
He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. Maybe he should start now, while she still knew nothing of what he could do. He’d saved her life—Nika’s, too. She trusted him more now, which was going to make it easier for him to slip inside her natural defenses. To slip inside her. Make her body need him as much as her mind did. Then she’d have no choice but to stay with him.
That part of his plan was going to be easy. She already wanted him. All he had to do now was show her how good it could be between them.
Paul flooded their new link with his desire for her. He hadn’t stopped wanting her since he’d met her, and it was easy to let that feeling roam free and take over. Let her feel what he did—that prowling need to touch her. Taste her. Get her naked and wet beneath him, where he could have his fill.
Her eyes fluttered shut for a moment, and she groaned. Then she looked at his mouth and her tongue peeked out to wet her lips. Oh, yeah, she was definitely feeling him now.
There was nothing Paul could have done to prevent himself from kissing her, so he just gave in. He settled his mouth onto hers, fitting them together as if they’d been made for this sole purpose. She let out a little gasp of surprise, then melted into his kiss. Her mouth was warm, soft, and pliant, and the tip of her tongue reached out to caress his lower lip.
Paul’s hands pulled her upright, clenching against her back. He held her in place while he enjoyed her mouth, stroking and tasting and teasing her until she returned each thrust of his tongue with one of her own.
Somewhere in his mind warning bells were going off, but he ignored them. Andra was in his arms, willing and eager, and nothing else mattered.
Her hands slid up over his bare shoulders and it was all he could do to keep from growling with pleasure. The spark he’d felt when he touched her before had magnified until it was a blazing, glorious fire in his gut. Her lightest touch ignited him, making him wish he could will away their clothes and sink into her supple body. She’d love it. He’d make sure she did. He’d kiss every smooth expanse of her skin, explore every tempting dip and curve with his tongue. He’d strip away any reservation she had with tender caresses of his hands and mouth. He’d spread her out and worship her body with his until there was no room left for anything between them but slippery passion.