Fool's Errand
Page 107

“That was many years ago, my lady,” I reminded her as I rose.
She took both my hands in hers. We were nearly of a height, and her blue eyes looked deep into mine. “Far too many, for which I fault you, FitzChivalry. But Chade told me, long ago, that you might choose solitude and rest for yourself. When you did, I did not begrudge it to you. You had sacrificed everything to your duty, and if solitude was the only reward you wished, then I was glad to grant it to you. Yet I confess I am more glad to see you return, especially at such a time of crisis.”
“If you have need of me, then I am glad to be here,” I replied, almost without reservations.
“I am saddened that you walk among the folk of Buckkeep, and none know what sacrifices you have made for them. You should have been accorded a hero's welcome. Instead, you walk unknown among them in the guise of a servant.” Her earnest blue eyes searched my own.
I found myself smiling. “Perhaps I spent too long in the Mountains, where all know that the true ruler of that kingdom is the servant of all.”
For a moment her blue eyes widened. Then the genuine smile that broke forth on her face was like the sun breaking through storm clouds, despite the sudden tears that stood in her eyes. “Oh, Fitz, to hear you say such words is balm to my heart. Truly, you have been Sacrifice for your people, and I admire you for it. But to hear from your lips that you understand that it has been your duty, and took satisfaction in that, brings me joy.”
I did not think that was exactly what I had said, and yet I will not deny that her praise eased some of the ancient hurt in me. I pulled back from looking at that too closely.
“Dutiful,” I said suddenly. “He is why I am here, and much pleasure as I take in this reunion, I would take even more in discovering what has become of him.”
My Queen kept possession of one of my hands and held it tightly as she drew me toward the table. “Oh, you were ever my friend, even before I came as a stranger to this court. And now your heart goes with mine in this matter.”
She drew a deep breath, and the fears and worries of a mother broke past the control in the monarch's voice as she said, “No matter how I dissemble before the court and it grieves me that I must deceive my own people this way my son is never out of my thoughts for a moment. FitzChivalry, I put the blame for this at my own feet, yet I do not know if my fault was too much discipline for him, or too little, or if I demanded too much of the prince and not enough of the boy, or ”
“My Queen, you cannot approach this problem from that direction. We must begin from where we are; no good will come of trying to apportion blame. I will tell you bluntly that in my brief time here, I have discovered nothing. Those whom I have questioned speak well of the Prince. No one has divulged to me that he was unhappy or discontented in any way.”
“Then you think he was taken?” she broke in, This interruption was so uncharacteristic of Kettricken that I finally grasped the depth of her anguish. I drew out a chair for her, and as she sat, I looked down into her face and said with all the calm I could muster, “I do not think anything yet. I do not have enough facts to form an opinion.”
At an impatient sign from her, both Chade and I were seated at the table. “But what of your Skill?” she demanded. “Does it tell you nothing of him? Chade told me that he suspected you and the boy were somehow linked in your dreams. I do not understand how that could be so, but if it is, surely it must tell you something. What has he dreamed these last few nights?”
“You will not like my answer, my Queen, any more than you liked my answer all those years ago when we searched for Verity. My talent now is as it was then: erratic and unreliable. From what Chade has told me, it is possible that I have occasionally shared a dream with Prince Dutiful. But if it is so, I was not cognizant of it at the time. Nor can I break into his dreams at will. If he has dreamed these last few nights, he dreamed alone.”
“Or perhaps he did not dream at all,” Kettricken mourned. “Perhaps he is dead already, or tormented so that he cannot sleep and dream.”
“My Queen, you imagine the worst, and when you do, your mind stops at the problem and does not consider the solution.” Chade's voice was almost severe. Knowing how distraught he was over the boy's absence, his sternness surprised me, until I saw the Queen's reaction. Kettricken took strength from his firmness.
“Of course. You are right.” She took a breath. “But what can our solution be ? We have discovered nothing, and neither has FitzChivalry. You have counseled me to keep his disappearance a secret, lest we panic the people and precipitate rash decisions. But there have been no demands for ransom. Perhaps we should make public that the Prince is missing. Someone, somewhere, must know something. I think we must announce it and ask the people to help.”