Force of Temptation
Page 46
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He slashed a hand through the air. “No fucking way.”
A hot wave of anger washed over Harley. Her cat hissed, swishing her tail. “Jesse, be very sure you want to continue dictating to me. It won’t end well.”
He spoke clearly, enunciating every word, “You are not going back to that club. And you are definitely not buying it.”
She folded her arms as she slowly walked toward him. “You know what I think, Jesse? I think the real reason you don’t want me anywhere near the club is that you want me to leave my old life behind. You feel threatened by it.”
“Why would I feel threatened by it? When you accepted my claim, you chose me over that life.”
“When I accepted your claim, I chose to give returning to the shifter world a chance,” she corrected, halting in front of him. “But when I made that decision, I didn’t think you expected me to give up my dream. Considering how well informed you were about my life, you’ll know that, no matter where I lived, I always performed at clubs. It’s what I do.”
He clenched his fists. “You don’t need a job. You don’t need to earn your own money. You’re part of a pack. We support each other.”
“This has nothing to do with money and everything to do with how much I love what I do.”
“You can play your violin here.”
Her cat took a swipe at him, angered by the way he’d so easily dismissed how important this was to her. “I do, actually.” She practiced often when she was alone. “But that’s not the same as playing it for people who appreciate that kind of music. I like playing alongside DJs and bands—”
“And I like knowing my mate is safe,” he snapped. “My priority is your safety. That means no returning to the club. End of conversation.”
“End of conversation? Damn fucking right. This is all pointless because I will make the owner an offer and there is no way for you to stop me. Whatever rights you thought you had to rule my life, I hereby remove,” she sniped. “But if there ever comes a time when I need you to think for me, I’ll let you know.” With that, she stalked out of the room.
“Already lost two people, Harley. I’m not losing anyone else.”
The gut-wrenching agony in those gruff words pulled her up short. He hid the pain so well beneath that blank expression that it was easy to forget how tortured he was. Without turning to face him, she reminded him, “I lost someone too, Jesse.” She missed Michael every day. “But I don’t let that loss rule my decisions, and I definitely wouldn’t expect it to rule anyone else’s. And you really don’t need to be so overprotective. I’m not weak.”
“You’re not weak,” Jesse agreed. He crossed the room to her, pressing his front against her back. “Far from it. But you’ve never been as protective of yourself as you should. It means you don’t always think before you act; you make decisions with your heart instead of your head. You can’t be careless with your safety anymore, Harley. Not when you belong to someone. Not when that someone needs you.”
She tried to hold on to her anger, not wanting to let him off the hook so easy. But she hated hearing pain in his voice. Hated it. “You’re an enforcer, and you’re proud of it. You like the sense of importance that comes with it. What if you no longer had that?”
Jesse’s wolf stilled. “Are you asking me to give up the position?”
She turned and smacked his chest. “No, idiot. I’m asking you to imagine how it would feel to suddenly lose that position. You’d have nothing to do, no real contribution to make, no purpose to ground you. How would it make you feel?”
“Bored. Unfulfilled.” Jesse cupped her jaw. “I don’t want you to feel those things. I don’t want you to be unhappy.”
“I didn’t say I was unhappy. I’m fulfilled in other areas of my life. I like it here. But without being able to do what I love doing, I’ll feel like I’m just sort of floating around.”
“You’re strong enough to be an enforcer, but I don’t think that would fulfill you.”
“Nah, not my thing. There’s too much routine involved. Routine bores me. And I don’t like being micromanaged.” She placed her hands on his chest. “I don’t need a role. But I need to play. It’s part of who I am, just like being an enforcer is more than a role to you.”
Snaking his arms around her, Jesse rested his forehead on hers. “I just want you safe.”
“No one’s saying you can’t keep me safe. You can be with me every time I’m there if that’s what it takes to keep you from losing your shit. This little thing is called ‘compromise.’ Work with me here.”
He groaned. Every instinct he had screamed no. Panic, anxiety, fear, anger—all of it sat like lead in his stomach. He wanted her here at all times, where he knew she was safe. But he also knew—always had known—that she’d never be totally happy if she were isolated. And if he fought her on this and cut her dream short, it would create enough bitterness and resentment to eat at what they had until there was nothing left. He had more chance of losing her if he didn’t do that dreaded thing she called “compromise” than if she reappeared in public.
“We wait until the focus of the extremists has shifted to someone else before you go anywhere near the place, okay?” he said. “If you want to make the owner an offer, I’ll support that.” Even though he’d hate it. “But I’ll take care of the security measures. And there must always be me and at least one other wolf with you.” Sensing her pride balking at that condition, he added, “If you won’t consent to that for your sake, do it for mine.”
A hot wave of anger washed over Harley. Her cat hissed, swishing her tail. “Jesse, be very sure you want to continue dictating to me. It won’t end well.”
He spoke clearly, enunciating every word, “You are not going back to that club. And you are definitely not buying it.”
She folded her arms as she slowly walked toward him. “You know what I think, Jesse? I think the real reason you don’t want me anywhere near the club is that you want me to leave my old life behind. You feel threatened by it.”
“Why would I feel threatened by it? When you accepted my claim, you chose me over that life.”
“When I accepted your claim, I chose to give returning to the shifter world a chance,” she corrected, halting in front of him. “But when I made that decision, I didn’t think you expected me to give up my dream. Considering how well informed you were about my life, you’ll know that, no matter where I lived, I always performed at clubs. It’s what I do.”
He clenched his fists. “You don’t need a job. You don’t need to earn your own money. You’re part of a pack. We support each other.”
“This has nothing to do with money and everything to do with how much I love what I do.”
“You can play your violin here.”
Her cat took a swipe at him, angered by the way he’d so easily dismissed how important this was to her. “I do, actually.” She practiced often when she was alone. “But that’s not the same as playing it for people who appreciate that kind of music. I like playing alongside DJs and bands—”
“And I like knowing my mate is safe,” he snapped. “My priority is your safety. That means no returning to the club. End of conversation.”
“End of conversation? Damn fucking right. This is all pointless because I will make the owner an offer and there is no way for you to stop me. Whatever rights you thought you had to rule my life, I hereby remove,” she sniped. “But if there ever comes a time when I need you to think for me, I’ll let you know.” With that, she stalked out of the room.
“Already lost two people, Harley. I’m not losing anyone else.”
The gut-wrenching agony in those gruff words pulled her up short. He hid the pain so well beneath that blank expression that it was easy to forget how tortured he was. Without turning to face him, she reminded him, “I lost someone too, Jesse.” She missed Michael every day. “But I don’t let that loss rule my decisions, and I definitely wouldn’t expect it to rule anyone else’s. And you really don’t need to be so overprotective. I’m not weak.”
“You’re not weak,” Jesse agreed. He crossed the room to her, pressing his front against her back. “Far from it. But you’ve never been as protective of yourself as you should. It means you don’t always think before you act; you make decisions with your heart instead of your head. You can’t be careless with your safety anymore, Harley. Not when you belong to someone. Not when that someone needs you.”
She tried to hold on to her anger, not wanting to let him off the hook so easy. But she hated hearing pain in his voice. Hated it. “You’re an enforcer, and you’re proud of it. You like the sense of importance that comes with it. What if you no longer had that?”
Jesse’s wolf stilled. “Are you asking me to give up the position?”
She turned and smacked his chest. “No, idiot. I’m asking you to imagine how it would feel to suddenly lose that position. You’d have nothing to do, no real contribution to make, no purpose to ground you. How would it make you feel?”
“Bored. Unfulfilled.” Jesse cupped her jaw. “I don’t want you to feel those things. I don’t want you to be unhappy.”
“I didn’t say I was unhappy. I’m fulfilled in other areas of my life. I like it here. But without being able to do what I love doing, I’ll feel like I’m just sort of floating around.”
“You’re strong enough to be an enforcer, but I don’t think that would fulfill you.”
“Nah, not my thing. There’s too much routine involved. Routine bores me. And I don’t like being micromanaged.” She placed her hands on his chest. “I don’t need a role. But I need to play. It’s part of who I am, just like being an enforcer is more than a role to you.”
Snaking his arms around her, Jesse rested his forehead on hers. “I just want you safe.”
“No one’s saying you can’t keep me safe. You can be with me every time I’m there if that’s what it takes to keep you from losing your shit. This little thing is called ‘compromise.’ Work with me here.”
He groaned. Every instinct he had screamed no. Panic, anxiety, fear, anger—all of it sat like lead in his stomach. He wanted her here at all times, where he knew she was safe. But he also knew—always had known—that she’d never be totally happy if she were isolated. And if he fought her on this and cut her dream short, it would create enough bitterness and resentment to eat at what they had until there was nothing left. He had more chance of losing her if he didn’t do that dreaded thing she called “compromise” than if she reappeared in public.
“We wait until the focus of the extremists has shifted to someone else before you go anywhere near the place, okay?” he said. “If you want to make the owner an offer, I’ll support that.” Even though he’d hate it. “But I’ll take care of the security measures. And there must always be me and at least one other wolf with you.” Sensing her pride balking at that condition, he added, “If you won’t consent to that for your sake, do it for mine.”
