Four Letter Word
Page 51

Her eyes went wide.
“Oh,” she whispered.
“Yeah, so if we could, can we stop talking about why other people aren’t fuckin’?”
She nodded enthusiastically.
Sweet and cute.
Laughing and pressing a kiss to her hair, I turned her and moved us together across the living room and into the hall, making her go in front of me up the stairs so I could stare at her ass and not keeping that from her, making my motives known, then directing her to the last door on the right with my hand on her lower back.
I reached in, flipped on the light, stepped inside, made it almost to the bed, then turned back to see her halted in the doorway.
“You coming?”
“I can’t believe this is happening,” she said softly, appearing almost nervous with her hands knotting together in front of her.
“You can’t believe what’s happening?” I asked.
“This.” Her eyes cut away. “I’m about to walk into your bedroom. Touch what you’ve touched. Feel where you’ve slept. I’ve wanted to do this so bad and for so long and I, I wanna go slow and just savor it. I don’t want to rush this moment.”
“Babe.”
She lifted her eyes.
“Come here,” I told her.
“Let me savor it.”
“You can savor it after I kiss you for being so damn sweet about something as insignificant as my bedroom.”
Her brows pulled together.
“It isn’t insignificant, Brian,” she argued, moving closer then but only by a foot. “It has to do with you, and anything that has to do with you is important to me and something I want to learn about. How many times have you talked to me while sitting in this bedroom?”
I smiled.
“A lot.”
“Right.” She tilted her head, brows lifting. “See? We have history here. You thought about me in this room. You said some of the sweetest things to me in this room, and I listened, imagining where you were and what this room looked like. I’ve dreamed about this room.”
I moved then, closing the gap since she wasn’t, and grabbed her face, kissing her slow and deep.
She sucked a little on my tongue and moaned into my mouth.
“There,” I said, pulling away and leaving her breathless. “Now you can savor it.”
She licked her lips.
“Just so you know, I’m totally going to savor that, too,” she told me through a slow blink, looking half-drugged. “You kiss like a dream.”
I laughed and watched her step back, press her fingers to her mouth, then turn and move around, looking at and touching everything, studying posters on the wall and pictures I had framed and displayed on my dresser, staying silent and taking it all in while she absentmindedly twirled a lock of her hair.
I stayed silent, too, not wanting to interrupt this moment for her, knowing how important it was.
I let her savor it.
She lifted the crossword book off my nightstand and smiled, then set it down and turned, walked up to my old board I had propped in the corner of the room, and ran her hand over it.
“Do you surf?” she asked, looking back at me.
I shook my head.
“Used to. Not anymore.”
“Not at all?”
I stared at her.
Sadness passed over her face. She lowered her hand and moved around the bed to get to me.
“This the bad stuff in your life?” Sydney guessed, her hand circling my wrist.
“Part of it,” I answered.
“Are you ever gonna tell me about it?”
I exhaled and pressed my hand to her breast, rubbing my thumb over the tight nipple I could feel through her layers.
She arched into me and closed her eyes.
“Not tonight,” I whispered, bending to kiss her jaw and moving lower. “You wanna stand when I eat you or you wanna lie on the bed?”
I felt her pulse flutter against my lips.
“Bed,” she answered shyly.
One last kiss to her cheek and I moved away to take care of the door, shutting and locking it. I reached back and grabbed my shirt, pulled it over my head and tossed it on the floor as Sydney peeled her pants and panties down, only getting about a third of a way down her thighs when she stopped with a squeak.
I looked between her stilled hands gripping black and light blue lace and the top of her head as she kept it tilted down.
“Something wrong?” I asked.
“Oh, uh.” She lifted her head but stayed bent. “I’m kind of leaking you.”
Breath caught in my throat.
She was leaking me.
My cum.
Fuck yeah. That was hot.
First time a girl had ever said that to me, and I couldn’t hide how much I liked hearing it. My mouth lifted into a half smile as Syd kept hers unsure, twisted into something between a pout and a goofy-looking frown.
Could’ve stood there and continued appreciating what she was dealing with but realized she needed something and that’s why she was frozen and not continuing to remove her clothes.
I wanted her to continue removing her clothes. And I wanted to be the man getting that something she needed and taking care of it for her.
I lost the smile and looked into her eyes, saying, “Be right back,” then I stepped into the bathroom and grabbed a washcloth, got it damp with warm water, and carried it back out into the bedroom, kneeling in front of her with it.
Syd had removed her pants, panties, and hoodie now, standing only in her bra while pinching her legs together tight.
“You want to do it?” she questioned in disbelief when I slid the washcloth between her legs, forcing them apart.
“Yeah,” I answered, catching her timid smile before I focused on cleaning off the inside of her thighs and, once that was done, moving the cloth higher.
She held on to my shoulders and breathed heavily.
“Feel good?” I asked.
“Yes,” she replied, spreading her feet wider. “No one’s ever done this to me before and it’s, well, honestly it’s kinda crazy you’re doing it.”
Syd was talking about her ex not taking care of her, I got that, but she was also referring to me and her, fucking without a condom, and I knew she was wondering if that was shit that happened regularly with me or not, and she was justified in wondering.
We’d never talked about it before tonight or the second I had to think before I slid inside her bare.
Also, I thought a small part of her might be wondering if I’d ever taken the time to do this for someone else before or if this was just for her.
The answers were simple and I didn’t have a problem giving them to her.
I lowered the cloth and looked up.
She was studying my face with anxious eyes while sucking on her bottom lip.
“Never done this,” I confessed, watching that apprehension slide away with the breath she expelled. “Never wanted to, but that being said, never had to either. I’ve always worn condoms, and thank fuck, haven’t had any mishaps. Also got tested a little over a week ago so you’re good.”
Even though I’d always wrapped it up when I shot for Xstasy, I’d still gotten tested often. I wasn’t risking shit.
Syd smiled a little.
“Okay.” She nodded and tucked some hair behind her ear. “I’m clean. I’ve never had anything, but I haven’t always used condoms. Marcus and I didn’t. I get the Depo shot so we’re good there, but if you want me to get tested before we do it again like that—”