Four Letter Word
Page 57

I left Shay giggling, no doubt amused at my unsureness of this newly developed situation, which I couldn’t fault her for. I mean really, why I hadn’t taken a moment to ponder this myself was beyond me. Now I had no idea what to label us.
Brian was definitely my boyfriend. I just wasn’t sure what I was to him.
I stepped out from behind the bar and walked with determination across the room, weaving between tables before reaching the booth.
“Hey, Wild,” Brian said, all smooth and perfect boyfriend material like.
I needed to get to the bottom of this immediately.
“Trouble.” I crossed my arms under my chest. “Can I ask you something?”
“Is it what’ll I have to drink? ’Cause straight up, I think I need another coffee. This cute little ass kept rubbing against me all night and I barely got any sleep.” His eyes lowered to my breasts. “Those didn’t help.”
“Oh?” I flattened my hand on the table and leaned down, giving him a better view. “And who do these belong to?”
His eyes took their time lifting to my face, which was now only inches from his.
“You?” he asked unsurely. “Odd question, babe. You tired, too?”
“Nope. I feel very energized actually. Three orgasms will do that to a girl. I’m just wondering what this girl is to you exactly.”
His eyebrows lifted.
“You don’t know.”
I opened my mouth then closed it because I thought it was sweet how he made that sound, more as a statement than a question and one he couldn’t quite understand.
Brian thought it was obvious what I was to him and maybe it had been obvious for a while. That I was getting. However, the simple fact was, I didn’t want to risk any misinterpretations that would lead to my heart getting damaged, which was why I was being a smidge confrontational and wanting him to spell it out, right here and right now.
Before I went and got his coffee.
Brian pulled his sunglasses out of his shirt and set them on the table, then leaned forward, his face serious as he studied me.
“You don’t know,” he stated again, this time a little quieter and worry-filled, like he should’ve done better to make sure it was obvious for me, too.
God …
I was feeling his sweet all the way down to my toes.
“I’ve never been good at picking up on clues,” I explained quickly, figuring he should know the reason behind my foolishness.
He smiled.
“And how would you like me to spell this out for you?”
“I think we need to lock down a title.”
“Lock down a title?” he questioned.
“Yes. Like, what is this exactly? I know what you are to me. And if I’m being honest with myself I think I’ve known for a while, but I’m not sure what I am to you, which makes it incredibly difficult to answer questions about who you are because I can’t be telling close friends of mine that you’re my boyfriend if I’m not your girlfriend. The two go hand-in-hand. So I think before I introduce myself, run through the daily specials, and get you your coffee, we need to go ahead and lock something down.”
Brian smiled bigger. Then he quickly reached out and grabbed my arm, which was bracing me on the table, and pulled gently, twisting me until I fell into his lap with a squeak and my feet kicking out.
He ran his nose along my cheek as his arms wrapped tight around me.
Trouble had the best arms. Biggest and safest I’d ever felt.
“You wanna lock something down, Wild?” he asked playfully, the tone of his voice and the feel of his breath breaking goose bumps on my skin.
I dropped my head closer and nodded. Nerves pricked in my throat.
It was strange. I suddenly felt incredibly anxious and considered sliding off Brian’s lap and curling into a ball underneath the table. I wanted to hide.
Even in the safety of his arms I felt vulnerable.
What if he didn’t want to give me a title?
Or worse, what if he thought all this time I didn’t need one? That I was easy and didn’t see this as anything title-worthy?
This was why people should have formal discussions before they fuck like wild animals on the beach and then slip into a sex-induced coma where bacon is cooked perfectly. Eliminate all confusion while you’re still of sound mind and there’s no distraction of hard bodies.
Brian moved his lips to my ear.
My hands tensed in my lap. I closed my eyes.
Please tell me I’m your girlfriend. It’s all I want.
“Never been this way for me,” he said in a low, gentle voice. “Had a lot of girls growing up. Some serious. Some I just had because they wanted to be something and I liked them enough they stuck around for a little while, but I never called one of them my girl, serious or not. Girlfriend? Yeah. But never my girl, and I’ve been calling you that since the beginning, Syd. Since before I probably should’ve. That puts you somewhere no one else has ever been. On top of that, done some things with you I’ve already explained were a first for me, so that should tell you how serious this is. You wanna lock something down? Say we’re seeing each other or dating or whatever? You don’t need to ask me, babe, ’cause I’m locked down. Whatever you wanna call us, I’m good with. Just know I’ll be saying you’re my girl ’cause that’s what you are. That’s yours.”
He pulled back, allowing me to turn my head and look at him through tear-soaked eyes.
I was no longer wanting to be his girlfriend. This was so much better.
“That spell it out for you?” he asked.
I didn’t get to do the Baby thing because I was already in his lap and the table wouldn’t allow for any launching, but I did throw my arms around Brian in an equally dramatic way, a sob catching in my throat and my chest quaking with broken breaths as I buried my face in his neck and hugged him with every ounce of strength I had.
“I love being your girl. I think it’s my favorite thing in the entire world,” I said, feeling his arms tighten around me. “And you’re my boy.”
“Your man,” he corrected.
I shook my head against his.
“Man doesn’t go with girl. If you’re my man, then I’m your woman.”
“I’m not changing what I’ve been calling you for weeks, Wild. You’re my girl.”
“Then you’re my boy.”
He leaned back, pushed the chunk of hair out of my face that had fallen out of my pretty jeweled clip and was now damp with tears, tucked it behind my ear, and held me there, fingers curling around the back of my head and neck.
Brian stared at me, looking ready to argue.
I stared back, feeling a million different things, but the predominant feeling was love and it was blooming so quick inside me, I was certain the word was going to start sprouting from underneath my skin.
I cleared my throat, prompting him to speak.
“Just told you some things that meant a lot to me so I don’t feel like fighting you on this and ruining the mood,” he started. “That being said, you call me your boy and I don’t answer to that, you know why. It’s not ’cause you don’t got a hold on me, Wild, so don’t go thinking that.”
I blinked away more tears.
“Okay,” I said.
“You wanna call me your man? I will always answer to that.”