Fourth Debt
Page 79
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It wasn’t just a cold and it wasn’t fine. I’d let her down again. But as much as I hated her lying to me, I loved her all the more for being so selfless.
I don’t deserve this woman.
Nila’s lips whispered over mine again. “Besides, none of that matters now. You’re back. We can run.”
I froze.
Run?
There was no more running.
She pulled away, her face slowly sinking into despair. “Wait…you are here for me, aren’t you?” Her voice babbled. “We’re leaving this place. We’re running tonight. We’ll get you better so we can end this when you’re strong enough. You have to take me away, Jethro. I can’t go back. I can’t.”
My heart fisted. I wanted to carve out my soul to make her understand. “I’m here for you, Nila. A thousand times here for you.”
She shuffled backward, but I trapped her wrist.
Tears shone in her eyes. “But you’re not going to save me tonight?”
I’m going to save more than you. Don’t you see?
So many lives rested on my shoulders—just like I’d carried all my life.
“We can’t run. I refuse to run again.”
She wiped away a tear, refusing to look at me.
I groaned, tracing the translucent skin of her wrist. “Running isn’t an option anymore. If I run and lick my wounds, he wins again. We have the element of surprise now. They think I’m dead. It gives me the perfect opportunity to end this. To be free. But it has to be now.”
“But you’re not well enough.”
Grabbing her hand, I placed it directly on my side. Gritting my teeth against the flare of pain, I growled, “I proved to you I’m alive by fucking you. I’m here to save you; you have my ultimate word. But there are others I need to save, too.”
She deflated, knowing I spoke the truth but not ready to accept it. Her emotions turned selfish, wanting to keep me for herself. She already agreed we couldn’t run—her thoughts blared it—but it didn’t stop her from indulging in one make-believe moment.
“But if we ran, we’d be free.” She looked up, speaking words she didn’t mean. “You have money. I have money. We could disappear.” Her conviction and selfishness faded the second she finished.
She sighed, her heartbeat slowing with resolution.
I tucked short strands behind her ear, my soul cursing the death of her gorgeous hair all over again. “You already know what I’m going to say and you agree with me, but I’ll say it anyway. Running isn’t an option. Vaughn is still here. Tex. Your family’s company. You’re saying you’d leave it all behind when just a few more days it could be over for good? Why should we be the ones to run when it’s our lives that we’re fighting for? Our future is here. Our families are here. I’m not going anywhere and neither are you.”
She pursed her lips. “They let Vaughn go. He’ll be back with my father and hopefully be smart enough to hide. We could run.” Her emotions overwhelmed with suffering. “I need to leave, Jethro. I can’t go back. I can’t. I’ll break. I’m so close to breaking. I’m not strong enough. I can’t—”
I grabbed her, holding her shaking form. “Calm down. I’m not asking you to go back for long.” As much as it killed me, I added, “And do you truly believe they set Vaughn free? They haven’t done anything decent yet; why would they start now?”
She froze.
“The only thing we can do to ensure your family’s safety is to fight. You’re the bravest person I know, Nila. You’ve proven I’m strong enough to do what needs to be done. And I will do what needs to be done. But in order to do that I need you by my side. I need you with me which means we aren’t running. We’re staying here and fighting.”
She shook her head, even though her emotions agreed with me wholeheartedly.
I kissed her head. “You’re so incredible, Needle. So beautiful and strong. I’ll end this, okay? You just have to believe in me a little longer.”
She cried quietly, snuggling into my embrace. She couldn’t verbalize it, but she gave me permission. And I fucking loved her for it. For being strong enough to agree. For being with me even when I asked so much.
I dropped my voice to a whisper. “Nila…I love you. I’m never going to hurt you again. Unequivocally, deeply, totally—you have my heart and soul. I will make this right, I promise.” Taking her hand, I kissed her knuckles. “You trust me still, don’t you?”
A flicker of a seductive smile crossed her lips even as tears spilled from her eyes.
Memories of asking her if she trusted me when I’d shared my secrets came back. At the start she’d said yes, even as her heart screamed no. But, by the time I’d shown her intensity with my crop and made love to her, she’d trusted me completely.
Her skin was the palest cream in the dark. My lips ached to kiss her again. My cock throbbed to be inside her.
Her eyes tore past my humanness and into the part of me that was eternal. “I trust you.”
I couldn’t stop myself.
I pushed her onto her back and climbed on top of her. Her short hair fanned out like a black halo, tangling with hay. She didn’t stop me as I pressed my weight over her. Her legs opened, her hands gathered the material of the nightgown, and she welcomed me to wedge between her delectable thighs.
I groaned as her body melted. My cock punched against my boxer-briefs wanting to fill her all over again.
I don’t deserve this woman.
Nila’s lips whispered over mine again. “Besides, none of that matters now. You’re back. We can run.”
I froze.
Run?
There was no more running.
She pulled away, her face slowly sinking into despair. “Wait…you are here for me, aren’t you?” Her voice babbled. “We’re leaving this place. We’re running tonight. We’ll get you better so we can end this when you’re strong enough. You have to take me away, Jethro. I can’t go back. I can’t.”
My heart fisted. I wanted to carve out my soul to make her understand. “I’m here for you, Nila. A thousand times here for you.”
She shuffled backward, but I trapped her wrist.
Tears shone in her eyes. “But you’re not going to save me tonight?”
I’m going to save more than you. Don’t you see?
So many lives rested on my shoulders—just like I’d carried all my life.
“We can’t run. I refuse to run again.”
She wiped away a tear, refusing to look at me.
I groaned, tracing the translucent skin of her wrist. “Running isn’t an option anymore. If I run and lick my wounds, he wins again. We have the element of surprise now. They think I’m dead. It gives me the perfect opportunity to end this. To be free. But it has to be now.”
“But you’re not well enough.”
Grabbing her hand, I placed it directly on my side. Gritting my teeth against the flare of pain, I growled, “I proved to you I’m alive by fucking you. I’m here to save you; you have my ultimate word. But there are others I need to save, too.”
She deflated, knowing I spoke the truth but not ready to accept it. Her emotions turned selfish, wanting to keep me for herself. She already agreed we couldn’t run—her thoughts blared it—but it didn’t stop her from indulging in one make-believe moment.
“But if we ran, we’d be free.” She looked up, speaking words she didn’t mean. “You have money. I have money. We could disappear.” Her conviction and selfishness faded the second she finished.
She sighed, her heartbeat slowing with resolution.
I tucked short strands behind her ear, my soul cursing the death of her gorgeous hair all over again. “You already know what I’m going to say and you agree with me, but I’ll say it anyway. Running isn’t an option. Vaughn is still here. Tex. Your family’s company. You’re saying you’d leave it all behind when just a few more days it could be over for good? Why should we be the ones to run when it’s our lives that we’re fighting for? Our future is here. Our families are here. I’m not going anywhere and neither are you.”
She pursed her lips. “They let Vaughn go. He’ll be back with my father and hopefully be smart enough to hide. We could run.” Her emotions overwhelmed with suffering. “I need to leave, Jethro. I can’t go back. I can’t. I’ll break. I’m so close to breaking. I’m not strong enough. I can’t—”
I grabbed her, holding her shaking form. “Calm down. I’m not asking you to go back for long.” As much as it killed me, I added, “And do you truly believe they set Vaughn free? They haven’t done anything decent yet; why would they start now?”
She froze.
“The only thing we can do to ensure your family’s safety is to fight. You’re the bravest person I know, Nila. You’ve proven I’m strong enough to do what needs to be done. And I will do what needs to be done. But in order to do that I need you by my side. I need you with me which means we aren’t running. We’re staying here and fighting.”
She shook her head, even though her emotions agreed with me wholeheartedly.
I kissed her head. “You’re so incredible, Needle. So beautiful and strong. I’ll end this, okay? You just have to believe in me a little longer.”
She cried quietly, snuggling into my embrace. She couldn’t verbalize it, but she gave me permission. And I fucking loved her for it. For being strong enough to agree. For being with me even when I asked so much.
I dropped my voice to a whisper. “Nila…I love you. I’m never going to hurt you again. Unequivocally, deeply, totally—you have my heart and soul. I will make this right, I promise.” Taking her hand, I kissed her knuckles. “You trust me still, don’t you?”
A flicker of a seductive smile crossed her lips even as tears spilled from her eyes.
Memories of asking her if she trusted me when I’d shared my secrets came back. At the start she’d said yes, even as her heart screamed no. But, by the time I’d shown her intensity with my crop and made love to her, she’d trusted me completely.
Her skin was the palest cream in the dark. My lips ached to kiss her again. My cock throbbed to be inside her.
Her eyes tore past my humanness and into the part of me that was eternal. “I trust you.”
I couldn’t stop myself.
I pushed her onto her back and climbed on top of her. Her short hair fanned out like a black halo, tangling with hay. She didn’t stop me as I pressed my weight over her. Her legs opened, her hands gathered the material of the nightgown, and she welcomed me to wedge between her delectable thighs.
I groaned as her body melted. My cock punched against my boxer-briefs wanting to fill her all over again.