Fragile Eternity
Page 56
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I know. Siobhan shook her head. When Keenan turned his attention away from meWe all tried to replace Keenan. I sometimes thought I had. She looked down for a second. Until he left too.
Niall. You and he were something more
Oh, yes. Siobhans expression left no doubts. Eternity is a long time, my Queen. Our king was often distracted, but until you were found, Niall had a purpose in our court. He hid his darkness with dizzying bouts of affection. I took the lions share.
She walked over to the wardrobe, opened it, and pulled out a dress. You ought to dress for dinner. For the king.
Aislinn stood and went over to the wardrobe. She ran a hand along the outside. The tableaus of faery revelries carved into the wood didnt make her pause anymore. The opulence of the room didnt either. Keenan had found these things in an attempt to make her happy; hed decorated the room lavishly, but she couldnt deny that she liked itor the dresses inside the wardrobe.
I dont want to dress up, she said.
Siobhans princess-perfect face was a vision of contempt. She crossed her arms over her chest. Wallow. Weaken us as Bananach scouts our perimeter. Distract our king with your selfishness. Keep him from finding happiness with you or with the Winter Queen.
Thats not
He stays away from Donia in order to be by your side when you need him, yet you still refuse to see him as you shouldas your true king and partner. Hes willing to sacrifice his new chance with her in hopes that youll move on. Yet you weep and hide, and he worries and mourns. Both of you saddened is unacceptable. Our court requires laughter and frivolity. This melancholy and denial of pleasure weakens the very core of who you areand weakens us as a result. Siobhan closed the wardrobe with a slam and, in the next heartbeat, turned a plaintive gaze on Aislinn. If your mortal isnt here to share laughter and pleasure, if our king is denied his joy at loving the other queen, if you are both so maudlin, we grow weak and sad. Your laughter and bliss filters into all of us, as does this wallowing in despair. Go to dinner with our king. Let him help you smile.
But I dont love him. Aislinn knew the words sounded weak, even as she said them.
Do you love your court?
Aislinn looked at her, the faery whod had the courage to tell her what she very much didnt want to hear. I do.
Then be our queen, Aislinn. If your mortal comes home, you can deal with it, but right now, your court needs you. Your king needs you.We need you. Take pleasure in the worldor send our king to Winter so he can have pleasure. You keep him at your side but give him nothing to smile about. Your pain is hurting all of us. Accept what you can take of the pleasure he would offer.
I dont know how, Aislinn said. She didnt want to move on, but she admittedto herself, at leastthat she treasured Keenans comfort. She looked at Siobhan, well aware that her confusion was plain in her expression. I dont know what to do.
Siobhans voice gentled as she said, Choose to be happy. It is what we have all done.
Chapter 22
For the next four days, Seth waited in Sorchas hidden city. After Seths initial meeting with the High Queen, Devlin had deposited him in a spacious set of rooms, complete with an elaborate terrarium where Boomer was happily ensconced. It wasnt badbut for the one critical detail.I left Ash five nights ago. He wished now that hed answered her calls or texts the day hed gone. His phone didnt work here. He had no signal at all.
That was really all he lacked: contact with Aislinn. Everything else seemed to appear before he could want it. Meals arrived in his room, and he broke the injunction against accepting faery food. Hed made his choice: he wasnt leaving the world of faeries. Short of death, this was the path hed be on. The first moment when he ate the food that was most likely delivered and prepared by faeries felt momentouslike acceptance of a change, like the physical commitment to a new path. Hed wished Aislinn were beside him when he ate the strange meal of unfamiliar fruits and paper-thin pastry, but then again hed wished she were with him every moment of every day.
He spent most of his time in his quarters, but hed roamed a bit. After the first day, he realized that he always ended up back at his rooms once hed thought of itso he experimented. He had only to think it and take three corners, and no matter how far hed walked, he was in the hallway that led to his doorway.
A few faeries watched him; a few mortals smiled at him.
Inside his rooms, hed been given art supplies aplentybut he couldnt focus. Sitting around wondering about the High Queens decision wasnt ideal for creating. Hed meditated. Hed sketched some. Hed read in fitsbooks of law and discourse, treatises in theWorkings of Faerie , several dense essays in theIn the Companie of Subterraneans . Hed walked aimlessly. He searched for new insights in the books he found. He was in a building with rooms holding nothing but books: everything he could dream of was at his fingertips.
Everything but Ash.
If it wasnt for missing her, he suspected hed be happy in the space Sorcha had allotted him. It was set up as if for an artist. One wall was all glass so the light that filtered into the room was wonderful. Beyond that window-wall was an immense garden. Within the room, he had easels, paints, inks, canvas, paper, and in a side room, he had some supplies and tool options for his metalworking.Everything but inspiration. Sketching the garden from within a cell wasnt tempting.
The restlessness hed been fighting the past four days took him to the immense window again. This time, under closer inspection, Seth realized that within the window was a door of sorts. He pressed a half-moon shadow on the glass and the window split to open outward, allowing him access to the garden. As he entered it and looked past the flowers and trees, he saw the ocean, a vast desert, arctic plains, grasslands, mountainsInside his room, he could only see the garden, but when his feet touched the earth outside his room, something unreal filtered into his vision.
Niall. You and he were something more
Oh, yes. Siobhans expression left no doubts. Eternity is a long time, my Queen. Our king was often distracted, but until you were found, Niall had a purpose in our court. He hid his darkness with dizzying bouts of affection. I took the lions share.
She walked over to the wardrobe, opened it, and pulled out a dress. You ought to dress for dinner. For the king.
Aislinn stood and went over to the wardrobe. She ran a hand along the outside. The tableaus of faery revelries carved into the wood didnt make her pause anymore. The opulence of the room didnt either. Keenan had found these things in an attempt to make her happy; hed decorated the room lavishly, but she couldnt deny that she liked itor the dresses inside the wardrobe.
I dont want to dress up, she said.
Siobhans princess-perfect face was a vision of contempt. She crossed her arms over her chest. Wallow. Weaken us as Bananach scouts our perimeter. Distract our king with your selfishness. Keep him from finding happiness with you or with the Winter Queen.
Thats not
He stays away from Donia in order to be by your side when you need him, yet you still refuse to see him as you shouldas your true king and partner. Hes willing to sacrifice his new chance with her in hopes that youll move on. Yet you weep and hide, and he worries and mourns. Both of you saddened is unacceptable. Our court requires laughter and frivolity. This melancholy and denial of pleasure weakens the very core of who you areand weakens us as a result. Siobhan closed the wardrobe with a slam and, in the next heartbeat, turned a plaintive gaze on Aislinn. If your mortal isnt here to share laughter and pleasure, if our king is denied his joy at loving the other queen, if you are both so maudlin, we grow weak and sad. Your laughter and bliss filters into all of us, as does this wallowing in despair. Go to dinner with our king. Let him help you smile.
But I dont love him. Aislinn knew the words sounded weak, even as she said them.
Do you love your court?
Aislinn looked at her, the faery whod had the courage to tell her what she very much didnt want to hear. I do.
Then be our queen, Aislinn. If your mortal comes home, you can deal with it, but right now, your court needs you. Your king needs you.We need you. Take pleasure in the worldor send our king to Winter so he can have pleasure. You keep him at your side but give him nothing to smile about. Your pain is hurting all of us. Accept what you can take of the pleasure he would offer.
I dont know how, Aislinn said. She didnt want to move on, but she admittedto herself, at leastthat she treasured Keenans comfort. She looked at Siobhan, well aware that her confusion was plain in her expression. I dont know what to do.
Siobhans voice gentled as she said, Choose to be happy. It is what we have all done.
Chapter 22
For the next four days, Seth waited in Sorchas hidden city. After Seths initial meeting with the High Queen, Devlin had deposited him in a spacious set of rooms, complete with an elaborate terrarium where Boomer was happily ensconced. It wasnt badbut for the one critical detail.I left Ash five nights ago. He wished now that hed answered her calls or texts the day hed gone. His phone didnt work here. He had no signal at all.
That was really all he lacked: contact with Aislinn. Everything else seemed to appear before he could want it. Meals arrived in his room, and he broke the injunction against accepting faery food. Hed made his choice: he wasnt leaving the world of faeries. Short of death, this was the path hed be on. The first moment when he ate the food that was most likely delivered and prepared by faeries felt momentouslike acceptance of a change, like the physical commitment to a new path. Hed wished Aislinn were beside him when he ate the strange meal of unfamiliar fruits and paper-thin pastry, but then again hed wished she were with him every moment of every day.
He spent most of his time in his quarters, but hed roamed a bit. After the first day, he realized that he always ended up back at his rooms once hed thought of itso he experimented. He had only to think it and take three corners, and no matter how far hed walked, he was in the hallway that led to his doorway.
A few faeries watched him; a few mortals smiled at him.
Inside his rooms, hed been given art supplies aplentybut he couldnt focus. Sitting around wondering about the High Queens decision wasnt ideal for creating. Hed meditated. Hed sketched some. Hed read in fitsbooks of law and discourse, treatises in theWorkings of Faerie , several dense essays in theIn the Companie of Subterraneans . Hed walked aimlessly. He searched for new insights in the books he found. He was in a building with rooms holding nothing but books: everything he could dream of was at his fingertips.
Everything but Ash.
If it wasnt for missing her, he suspected hed be happy in the space Sorcha had allotted him. It was set up as if for an artist. One wall was all glass so the light that filtered into the room was wonderful. Beyond that window-wall was an immense garden. Within the room, he had easels, paints, inks, canvas, paper, and in a side room, he had some supplies and tool options for his metalworking.Everything but inspiration. Sketching the garden from within a cell wasnt tempting.
The restlessness hed been fighting the past four days took him to the immense window again. This time, under closer inspection, Seth realized that within the window was a door of sorts. He pressed a half-moon shadow on the glass and the window split to open outward, allowing him access to the garden. As he entered it and looked past the flowers and trees, he saw the ocean, a vast desert, arctic plains, grasslands, mountainsInside his room, he could only see the garden, but when his feet touched the earth outside his room, something unreal filtered into his vision.
