Fragile Eternity
Page 83
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I know that, butking isnt beloved or lover. It can be, but it doesnt have to be. Seth stopped short of telling her what he could see. Now wasnt the time. I need to know that hes not the one you want.
I loveyou , she said.
Tell me you dont feel any love like thishe brushed his lips across herswith him. Tell me you can be around him and not feel like its romantic. If hes your friend, thats fine, but that isnt all he is. It hasnt been for monthslong before I left.
She stared at him, but no words came.
Im a faery too. I cant lie. But I can tell you that there is no one elsefaery or mortalthats shared my bed since I fell in love with you. Ive not even considered taking anyone there. Theres no one in my life but you. I dont want anyone else either. At all. Just you. Forever.
What am I to do? she whispered.
Start by seeing him for what he really is.
Which means? Her voice rose, and her expression grew tense.
He knew where I was, Ash. Seth kept his tone gentle. He didnt want to hurt her, but he wasnt going to help Keenan hide his deceits. Niall knew where to look. So did Keenan. Hes been around long enough to think to check in Faerie.
But he couldnt. Maybe he
Ask him. Seth shrugged. He knew where I was. Donia knew. Niall knew. Bananach took me there. Everyone knew. Ask your guards to tell you. Ask the Summer Girls. They might not volunteer it, but if you ask them straight out, theyll answer you.
So you think theyall knewshe folded her arms over her chest, hugging herselfandno one told me? How could they do that?
What would you have done if you had known where I was?
Come to Faerie and rescued you.
Your court isnt strong enough for a war, and you were in the midst of summer, impulsive and passionate. If youd come, it would have been a disasterwhich is why Niall didnt tell you. And DoniaI suspect she kept silent out of love for Keenan. She wouldnt want to see hisyourcourt broken, even though hes hurt her. He caught Aislinns gaze. But your court? Is that why Keenan didnt tell you? Or did he have other reasons as well?
He saw me falling apart. My whole court did. Theyknew how much I hurt. Aislinn wept. He knew andWhy?
Seth hated that he had to hurt her even more, but this was the issue she hadnt dealt with. Tell me you wont forgive him. Tell me you arent trying to figure outright now how it was somehow not as awful as it sounds.
Aislinn looked at him silently. Her face was tear-streaked.
You forgave his manipulations over making you his queen. You forgave his manipulations that cost your court Nialls support and almost killed Leslie. And right now, youre trying to pretend he wasnt manipulating you again. Seth wanted her to interrupt him, to tell him he was wrong.
She didnt.
You trust him. I dont know if its a queen and king thing or if youre just trying to see the good in him. Hes not good, though. Hed have had me killed if he thought it served his purpose. I get that. Niall does. You need to see him for who he truly is. For me, for your court, and for yourself.
Hes mypartner for the rest of eternity.
No, hes a coworker. Im yourpartner he kissed her foreheadfor eternity if you want me. If hes your king, your friend, your coworker, thats all fine. I dont want to keep you to myself with no other peopleor faeriesin your life, but I dont want to share your heart, especially not with someone who keeps hurting you. If you want to be with him, tell me. If you want to be with me, tell me that. You need to figure out what you truly want, Ash. Come find me when youre ready to tell me that Im the only one.
And he left. It ripped some part of him to pieces, but he wasnt going to wait around hoping for scraps from Keenans table.
Chapter 34
After Seth was gone from her, Sorcha stayed alone in his rooms. She wasnt quite ready to deal with Devlin or court matters or much of anything. Truth be told, her only desire just then was to follow Seth and help smooth over whatever conflict he found when he went back to the Summer Queen. Aislinn mightve been mortal once, but she was the epicenter of summer, a season of heat and frivolity. Sorcha knew Keenan well enough to know that the once-mortal queen wouldve succumbed to his charms.
How very mawkish, sister. Bananach came in through the garden door. Her shadowy wings were solid now. Are you pining for your mortal pet?
Hes underyour kings protection. Not my pet and not mortal out there. Sorcha didnt deign to look at her sister. Now more than ever, the High Queen must appear Unchangedbut she felt the change. Despite Wars presence, Sorcha felt almost in control of her emotions for the first time in an eternity.
Precious! All the more access to twist his thoughts then. Bananach picked up one of Seths paintbrushes and sniffed it. Shall I tell you what hell find upon his return? Shall I whisper to you of the ash-queens weeping and wailing?
Sorcha tilted her head and gave Bananach a bland smile. Inside, her heart was aching. The Summer Queen was probably no better than any other Summer Court faerysuch a tempestuous, fickle lot.
Why would that matter to me? she asked.
Because she will blame you. Because Seth Morgans changing and returning has left Winter and Summer even more at odds. Because Darkness gnashes his teeth about the consequences of your actions, my dear sister. Bananach crowed the words as she punctuated each statement with miniature sword strokes in the air, brandishing Seths paintbrush like a weapon.
Niall knows where Seth was and why. I was honest with himas I had been with the last Dark King. Sorcha stood and stepped around her sister, leaving the close quarters and trying to draw her sisters unpleasantness away from Seths room.
I loveyou , she said.
Tell me you dont feel any love like thishe brushed his lips across herswith him. Tell me you can be around him and not feel like its romantic. If hes your friend, thats fine, but that isnt all he is. It hasnt been for monthslong before I left.
She stared at him, but no words came.
Im a faery too. I cant lie. But I can tell you that there is no one elsefaery or mortalthats shared my bed since I fell in love with you. Ive not even considered taking anyone there. Theres no one in my life but you. I dont want anyone else either. At all. Just you. Forever.
What am I to do? she whispered.
Start by seeing him for what he really is.
Which means? Her voice rose, and her expression grew tense.
He knew where I was, Ash. Seth kept his tone gentle. He didnt want to hurt her, but he wasnt going to help Keenan hide his deceits. Niall knew where to look. So did Keenan. Hes been around long enough to think to check in Faerie.
But he couldnt. Maybe he
Ask him. Seth shrugged. He knew where I was. Donia knew. Niall knew. Bananach took me there. Everyone knew. Ask your guards to tell you. Ask the Summer Girls. They might not volunteer it, but if you ask them straight out, theyll answer you.
So you think theyall knewshe folded her arms over her chest, hugging herselfandno one told me? How could they do that?
What would you have done if you had known where I was?
Come to Faerie and rescued you.
Your court isnt strong enough for a war, and you were in the midst of summer, impulsive and passionate. If youd come, it would have been a disasterwhich is why Niall didnt tell you. And DoniaI suspect she kept silent out of love for Keenan. She wouldnt want to see hisyourcourt broken, even though hes hurt her. He caught Aislinns gaze. But your court? Is that why Keenan didnt tell you? Or did he have other reasons as well?
He saw me falling apart. My whole court did. Theyknew how much I hurt. Aislinn wept. He knew andWhy?
Seth hated that he had to hurt her even more, but this was the issue she hadnt dealt with. Tell me you wont forgive him. Tell me you arent trying to figure outright now how it was somehow not as awful as it sounds.
Aislinn looked at him silently. Her face was tear-streaked.
You forgave his manipulations over making you his queen. You forgave his manipulations that cost your court Nialls support and almost killed Leslie. And right now, youre trying to pretend he wasnt manipulating you again. Seth wanted her to interrupt him, to tell him he was wrong.
She didnt.
You trust him. I dont know if its a queen and king thing or if youre just trying to see the good in him. Hes not good, though. Hed have had me killed if he thought it served his purpose. I get that. Niall does. You need to see him for who he truly is. For me, for your court, and for yourself.
Hes mypartner for the rest of eternity.
No, hes a coworker. Im yourpartner he kissed her foreheadfor eternity if you want me. If hes your king, your friend, your coworker, thats all fine. I dont want to keep you to myself with no other peopleor faeriesin your life, but I dont want to share your heart, especially not with someone who keeps hurting you. If you want to be with him, tell me. If you want to be with me, tell me that. You need to figure out what you truly want, Ash. Come find me when youre ready to tell me that Im the only one.
And he left. It ripped some part of him to pieces, but he wasnt going to wait around hoping for scraps from Keenans table.
Chapter 34
After Seth was gone from her, Sorcha stayed alone in his rooms. She wasnt quite ready to deal with Devlin or court matters or much of anything. Truth be told, her only desire just then was to follow Seth and help smooth over whatever conflict he found when he went back to the Summer Queen. Aislinn mightve been mortal once, but she was the epicenter of summer, a season of heat and frivolity. Sorcha knew Keenan well enough to know that the once-mortal queen wouldve succumbed to his charms.
How very mawkish, sister. Bananach came in through the garden door. Her shadowy wings were solid now. Are you pining for your mortal pet?
Hes underyour kings protection. Not my pet and not mortal out there. Sorcha didnt deign to look at her sister. Now more than ever, the High Queen must appear Unchangedbut she felt the change. Despite Wars presence, Sorcha felt almost in control of her emotions for the first time in an eternity.
Precious! All the more access to twist his thoughts then. Bananach picked up one of Seths paintbrushes and sniffed it. Shall I tell you what hell find upon his return? Shall I whisper to you of the ash-queens weeping and wailing?
Sorcha tilted her head and gave Bananach a bland smile. Inside, her heart was aching. The Summer Queen was probably no better than any other Summer Court faerysuch a tempestuous, fickle lot.
Why would that matter to me? she asked.
Because she will blame you. Because Seth Morgans changing and returning has left Winter and Summer even more at odds. Because Darkness gnashes his teeth about the consequences of your actions, my dear sister. Bananach crowed the words as she punctuated each statement with miniature sword strokes in the air, brandishing Seths paintbrush like a weapon.
Niall knows where Seth was and why. I was honest with himas I had been with the last Dark King. Sorcha stood and stepped around her sister, leaving the close quarters and trying to draw her sisters unpleasantness away from Seths room.
