“It’s not all about you, babe, and trust me, you don’t have a corner on the market when it comes to second-guessing yourself.” He toyed with the end of her ponytail, tugging lightly. “Hey, where’s the Stella I know? The tough cookie who chewed me out a few minutes ago because I didn’t show up earlier?”
“That was just the hypoglycemia talking. I missed breakfast. Low blood sugar and all.” She rolled the lip balm between her palms, back and forth. “Give me a glass of OJ and I’ll be my normal chipper self again.”
“Chipper?” He snorted softly. “Not a word I would think could be found on any of your agency psych profiles.”
“Psych shmike.” Her slicked lips went tight. “It’s my job to pretend to be the person of the day. Maybe chipper wasn’t on the menu… And speaking of menus, I could really use something more to eat. I wasn’t joking about the low blood sugar.”
“Another protein bar?”
“I’m so hungry I’ll even eat that.” She extended her palm, her fingernails cracked and torn.
He passed over a peanut butter crunch bar and not for the first time wished he had more to offer her. “You still haven’t told me how you got captured.”
“I’ll talk in debrief.” She tore open the wrapper. “You don’t have a need to know.”
She bit off a quarter of the bar and chewed, making it quite clear she wasn’t saying a word more than she wanted. And that fast he saw her find that strength he’d been nudging her for, except she used it to put space between them. Shutters went up in her green eyes and she crab walked toward the lean-to with the rest of her protein bar.
What wasn’t she telling him?
His mind churned with horrors and he had no one to blame but himself that he’d given up the right to press her for answers.
***
Ajaya curled up under the floor of the compound where they’d held those American students captive.
His muscles were cramping, but he didn’t dare get up even though he’d stopped hearing American soldiers stomp around hours ago. Now the revolutionaries had come crawling in afterward, searching. If they found him, they would make him join up again. Shoot people. Get shot at. The punishment for disobeying…?
His throat burned with puke.
Sweat trickled down his head and into the mud, sticky from the perspiration pouring off his body from more than heat. A scorpion scrabbled past him fast and he didn’t so much as flinch. He was scared to death. Not of the lethal sting. He was scared to hope he could escape today.
No more beatings. No more blood.
He’d been taken from the orphan school eight months ago, forced to join their “army.” His first kill had been with a knife. Then they’d rewarded him with a gun. Every time they made him shoot, made him kill, he vowed to be the best so he could turn the weapon on them one day. He imagined what it would have been like to have this gun earlier to protect his mother, his sister, and little brother before they died, along with his father. He would have used that gun to take his family somewhere safe.
Ajaya came from a Sanskrit word, jaya, victorious. Unconquered.
What a joke.
He was cowering in this stinky cubby like a scared rabbit. The past eight months hadn’t made him stronger. They had only made him desperate to escape this kind of life. He would do anything to make that happen. Even if that meant letting them go through with their plan to murder hundreds of people at the embassy? Right now he thought yes, he could even do that.
The American soldiers that stormed the compound speaking English and shooting guards, they didn’t know what they’d taken with them. He’d watched through a crack. They’d stuffed stolen artifacts in their clothes and packs, maybe to protect themselves, maybe to sell. The Americans had no idea what the bastards would do once they realized what the Americans had really taken. It wouldn’t be long either since it would be the first thing they looked for. They were already tearing apart the compound now, searching for it, the key to their plans to set off something horrible at the American embassy.
Except it wasn’t here. If he could find it, he finally would have something of value, something he could sell, a ticket out.
He was scared, but he had skills now and he had an advantage. He knew which way those four Americans had gone. If he could find them first, he could get what he needed and barter it for enough money to get away. He would leave Africa and go to India and study Sanskrit. He would be a student, not a soldier.
Although first, he had to be a soldier just a little while longer. Ajaya clutched his rifle to his chest and focused on images of his mother, his sister, and little brother. He envisioned them alive, leaving with him.
A lot more comforting than remembering their dead, bloody bodies as he’d hidden in the scrub brush, stuffing a fist in his mouth to stifle his screams.
And he realized he wasn’t a scared rabbit now after all. He was a cornered lion, ready to kill.
Chapter 4
Stella curled up with the woven cloth around her, determined to sleep, knowing she needed to store strength in case they had to evade for any length of time.
Her head resting on the crook of her arm, she hugged the cottony fabric tighter around her again. It seemed wrong to use something so beautiful, so carefully woven, for protection against night crawlies, but she was practical. She needed to rest, so she cocooned herself in the rectangular kanga.
Not that sleep came easy. She could have blamed it on her micronap earlier, or the fact that violent forces could stumble on them at any minute. Except she knew the real cause of her restlessness sat a few feet away. Jose. The feel of his arms around her lingered. His unexpected hug had rocked her to her toes, making her question all of her so-called resolutions to stay away from him forever. Even trying to clear the air had her heart in her throat and she’d balked.
She’d held strong against the urge to contact him for the past month because she’d known seeing him would hurt. A lot. There’d been no way to foresee how much. She needed to accept there would be no easy break-off, no way to clear regrets. She needed to move on. She wasn’t fool enough to think she could change him. He said he didn’t want to settle down. He absolutely did not want children because of his own messed up childhood with an alcoholic mother. Because of his fears about staying sober himself. Even though he’d been dry for five years, he was convinced he couldn’t risk having kids.
Nothing she said had changed his mind, and she couldn’t keep lying to herself. Whether he’d been telling the truth or concocting an excuse he knew would make her run, he’d pushed her away and he’d meant it.
She wrapped her heart up again, as tightly as she wrapped her body in the patterned fabric, tracing her fingers along the scripted border. She would keep up her guard when she was with Jose. But here, in her dreams, she could think back to those early days after they’d met, the days when she’d dared to hope there could be a future for them…
***
Stella had been on her fair share of dates in her life, but this first date with Jose definitely ranked as the most unique.
He’d invited her to go with him on a long distance trip to the “zoo” as casually as if they’d been home in the United States rather than in Africa. As she sat beside Jose on a rocky ledge overlooking a jungle waterfall, she had to admit Queen Elizabeth National Park was a little more than a zoo.
In the week since she’d rescued Jose from the Gulf of Aden, they’d both been tied up with work. He’d been instrumental in the final takedown of a local pirate ship. She’d worked debriefs with the CIA.
She’d been damn proud of how well she’d focused on her job even with the distraction of heated glances exchanged with the sexiest man she’d ever met. Then she’d gone to her quarters on the local base six days after they’d met and found him sitting on the floor outside her room. But rather than hit on her, he’d asked her out on a date.
An old-fashioned, so damn sweet request that she’d melted.
The next day, they’d slipped away on a helicopter to Uganda, to Queen Elizabeth National Park for the weekend. She wasn’t even sure how he’d arranged for the chopper transport, and she decided she didn’t need to know. For the moment, she could simply go with the flow. She was glad for the date to escape the sense of failure that she hadn’t learned anything new yet about what happened to her mom.
And most of all? Finally, she could spend time with Jose “Cuervo” James, take time to discover if there was more to the attraction than just lust. Although with the hiking pace he was setting, neither of them would have energy for much of anything at the end of the day.
Four miles into their trek at the park, she’d learned the man had endless energy away from work as well. And patience. He sat with her on a rocky ledge near a waterfall, watching the wildlife. She scoured the trees with buttress roots protruding, somewhat wary of the snakes and other beasties hiding in the verdant rain forest, but the glittering view was well worth any tugging wariness. The shady spot provided relief from the heat while she went mellow, soaking in the view.
How could one man pour so much energy into sitting still? Without moving a muscle, he positively hummed with more vitality than most radiated while running a marathon. Minutes ticked by while she watched him watching the monkeys and chimpanzees swing from branch to branch.
His eyes slid over to her. “What?”
She smiled back, seeing the attraction she felt echoed in his eyes. “I’m just intrigued by how intently you’re studying the monkeys.”
“They’re cool dudes.” He pointed toward the trees growing together with linked limbs. “For me it’s like how others ‘people watch’ at the mall. I enjoy figuring out their different personalities, their quirks, their cliques. It’s always different.”
A monkey stole another’s banana and took off swinging from limb to limb. Stella laughed, the sound floating out, echoed by a baboon hanging from one arm.
“So, do you come to Queen Elizabeth National Park often?” she asked, loving the thrill of discovery, of learning even seemingly insignificant details about his life.
“Actually, this is my first time here.” His smile reached his eyes, glinting like the sunlight refracting off the waterfall. “But I do a lot of nature hikes through national parks wherever I travel.”
“Clearly you’re active, given your job.”
His eyes slid over her, lingering just long enough to be complimentary without turning smarmy. “You’re no slouch yourself—given your job.”
“We could compare PT scores.” She tapped his chest just over the Boston Marathon logo on his T-shirt. The well-worn cotton carried the heat of him, and she ached to flatten her palm against his heartbeat. “But I would wager yours beat mine. I’m a code breaker, not a superhero.”
He closed his hand over hers, holding and lowering. Not letting go. “Can we stop with the superhero stuff? I’m just a guy out with a girl on a date.”
“A date in Africa, complete with a helicopter ride.” And hand holding. “But hey, okay, if this is normal for you, I can’t wait to see your follow-up.”
He winked. “Prepare to be dazzled.”
She already was—and it had nothing to do with the grand gesture of a helicopter. It had more to do with his instinctive thoughtfulness, from noticing which flavored water she preferred to remembering how her nose burned in the sun. She didn’t need a keeper, but after taking care of herself since elementary school, she had to confess it felt nice to have someone who… cared.
Leaning back on her hands, she watched the way the sun dappled along the lean lines of his face. “What if I’d given out halfway to the waterfall?”
“Then we would have watched the water buffaloes instead.”
