From Twinkle, with Love
Page 53
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“But he took your hand? When the footage played?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“And he told you it hurts him to be near you?”
“Um, sort of. That’s the gist, yeah.”
“Twinkie.” Maddie looked at me, one eyebrow raised, like I was missing something obvious.
“What?”
“Sahil is madly in love with you.”
“What?” I said again, scoffing. “Please. I mean, maybe he was falling for me. At one time. But I wrecked everything with the whole Neil thing.”
Maddie cocked her head. “It’s pretty clear from where I sit that Sahil is just in pain. A lot of pain. But if he truly hated your guts, he wouldn’t say it hurt to be around you. He wouldn’t look at you the way I saw him looking at you all night. He wouldn’t take your hand. Twinkie … the boy loves you. Like, seriously loves you.”
I stared at her, too afraid to say anything, just in case she changed her mind. “Are you …? Are you sure?”
“One hundred percent.” She sat back and pulled another Twizzler out of her bag. “So. Now the question is, what are you going to do?”
I knew what I, Miss Wimpy Wallflower Extraordinaire, wanted to do: I wanted to go home and go to bed. To just ignore all of this. But on the other hand, I knew what I needed to do. What the brave thing to do was in this situation. And if I didn’t do it, if I didn’t take this chance, I knew I’d regret it forever.
“Maddie,” I said, swallowing my fear. “Could you please give me a ride?”
She stuffed the entire Twizzler in her mouth in three bites and hopped up. “Let’s go.”
And so here I am, in her car, speeding toward either ecstatic love or devastating heartbreak (again). Gulp. Wish me luck.
Love,
Twinkle
Twenty-Four
<text message 11:12 p.m.> From: Sahil
To: Skid, Aaron
I broke it off with her
<text message 11:12 p.m.>
From: Skid
To: Sahil, Aaron
DUDE WHY
<text message 11:13 p.m.>
From: Sahil
To: Skid, Aaron
I told you man. I can’t go out with her after knowing she wanted to hook up with Neil
<text message 11:14 p.m.>
From: Aaron
To: Sahil, Skid
But dude she explained that
<text message 11:14 p.m.>
From: Sahil
To: Skid, Aaron
I don’t want to talk about it
<text message 11:15 p.m.>
From: Skid
To: Sahil, Aaron
i know what you need bro. I got a giant bag of chili cheese Fritos and Call of Duty ready to go
<text message 11:16 p.m.>
From: Aaron
To: Sahil, Skid
He doesn’t need a video game that encourages toxic masculinity and brainless murder rn. He needs to chill and listen to music. I just found this new band Piggy’s Death Rattle. Perfect for how he’s feeling
<text message 11:17 p.m.>
From: Sahil
To: Skid, Aaron
I welcome both the toxic masculinity and the … piggy’s death rattle. But aren’t you guys with Portia and Matthew?
<text message 11:18 p.m.>
From: Skid
To: Sahil, Aaron
bros first
<text message 11:19 p.m.>
From: Sahil
To: Skid, Aaron
Thanks guys. I think I’m just gonna chill in my room for now but I appreciate it
Sunday, June 28, but just barely
My room
Dear Nora Ephron, I have never been so scared in my life. Maddie pulled over down the street from the Roys’ house. (I was afraid Ajit Uncle would see me and insist on making me peanut butter pancakes or something, thus ruining the element of surprise—the only thing I had going for me at that point, let’s be honest.) I looked at her, my cold hands gripped tightly in my lap.
“It’s going to be fine,” she said, smiling. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
“I could end up an empty, emotionless husk sitting alone in my authentically rickety house night after night until the leaking roof eventually caves in on me and finally releases me to sweet, merciful death?”
She stared at me for a long minute. “Okaaaay …”
I looked down at my lap and then back at her. “I really want this, Maddie. I really want him.”
“I know you do,” she said, leaning over to hug me. Then, holding me by the shoulders, “And he wants you. You just need to show him that his insecurities about his brother are unjustified. That you’re crazy about him and not Neil. That all of that Neil fantasizing stuff is in your past.”
I nodded. “Right. I can do that. I can, I can, I can.”
Maddie patted me on the arm. “Get to it, Juliet. Actually, no, wait. Juliet dies at the end, so … maybe don’t channel Shakespeare for this one.”
“Awesome. Thanks for … that.”
Maddie laughed and, grinning, I hopped out of her car, waved, took a deep breath, and walked toward the back of the Roys’ house.
When I was in the almost completely dark backyard, it occurred to me that if any of the neighbors happened to be looking out their window, I’d look very much like a thief. And that might not end so well for me. Before I lost my nerve, I jumped and grabbed the bottom limb of a giant bur oak tree and began to climb up. It had been years since I’d climbed a tree, but I didn’t have a choice right then, did I? This was my last-ditch attempt. My Hail Mary pass. My—
Owwww.
A sharp twig had just scratched the crap out of my bare leg. I could feel the blood beading there. I glared at the twig and then kept climbing until I was right outside Sahil’s window. The shades were drawn, so I couldn’t see in, but there was enough light emanating from behind the shades that I could tell he wasn’t asleep.
I held on to a branch with one hand and shakily reached the other hand toward his window. I knocked twice and then put my hand back on the branch. Do not look down. Do not look down, Twinkle, I told myself. Why had I neglected to consider my fear of heights?
No one opened the window.
Oh, great. So either (a) Sahil wasn’t home or (b) he’d decided, wisely, not to open his second-story window at midnight to any rando who happened to be knocking.
I looked down. Oh my God. I began to hyperventilate until those little black dots swam in front of my eyes. There was no way I was going to climb back down. No. Way. They’d just have to call the fire department whenever Ajit Uncle happened to come outside and find me in their tree. I could fall and break my neck. Oh my God. It felt like someone was pushing me out of the tree. My breath came out faster and faster, and the black circles grew. …
“Twinkle?”
I snapped my head around to see Sahil leaning out his window, staring at me, his mouth hanging open. “Hey, are you okay?”
There was a ringing in my ears now. “I, um …”
Sahil leaned farther out of his window, and then I felt his strong arms around me. “Hey. Come on. Careful …” He gently tugged and guided me until I was able to let go of the branch and clamber into his room. Leading me to his chair, he had me sit. “You don’t look so good. Would you like some water?”
I put my head down on my lap. “No, I’m okay. … I just got a little light-headed looking down at the ground.”
The black spots slowly receded, and the ringing in my ears was gone. And then it hit me: I’d been trying to stage a romantic, daring scene and I’d almost passed out and had to be rescued by the object of my affections. I sat up, my cheeks heating up. “Um … wow. This is embarrassing. Not how this was supposed to go.”
Sahil’s mouth twitched, like he was trying not to smile. “What, um, what were you doing in my tree?”
I twisted my fingers together. My face was probably as purple as my idiotic skirt. “I was trying to be … you know. Dashing and gallant?” I forced a weak smile.
“Oh.” He frowned, apparently not impressed. “Hey. Your leg’s bleeding.”
I looked down to see the scrape on my shin. Wincing, I blew on it. “Oh, yeah. I scraped it on that stupid tree.”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“And he told you it hurts him to be near you?”
“Um, sort of. That’s the gist, yeah.”
“Twinkie.” Maddie looked at me, one eyebrow raised, like I was missing something obvious.
“What?”
“Sahil is madly in love with you.”
“What?” I said again, scoffing. “Please. I mean, maybe he was falling for me. At one time. But I wrecked everything with the whole Neil thing.”
Maddie cocked her head. “It’s pretty clear from where I sit that Sahil is just in pain. A lot of pain. But if he truly hated your guts, he wouldn’t say it hurt to be around you. He wouldn’t look at you the way I saw him looking at you all night. He wouldn’t take your hand. Twinkie … the boy loves you. Like, seriously loves you.”
I stared at her, too afraid to say anything, just in case she changed her mind. “Are you …? Are you sure?”
“One hundred percent.” She sat back and pulled another Twizzler out of her bag. “So. Now the question is, what are you going to do?”
I knew what I, Miss Wimpy Wallflower Extraordinaire, wanted to do: I wanted to go home and go to bed. To just ignore all of this. But on the other hand, I knew what I needed to do. What the brave thing to do was in this situation. And if I didn’t do it, if I didn’t take this chance, I knew I’d regret it forever.
“Maddie,” I said, swallowing my fear. “Could you please give me a ride?”
She stuffed the entire Twizzler in her mouth in three bites and hopped up. “Let’s go.”
And so here I am, in her car, speeding toward either ecstatic love or devastating heartbreak (again). Gulp. Wish me luck.
Love,
Twinkle
Twenty-Four
<text message 11:12 p.m.> From: Sahil
To: Skid, Aaron
I broke it off with her
<text message 11:12 p.m.>
From: Skid
To: Sahil, Aaron
DUDE WHY
<text message 11:13 p.m.>
From: Sahil
To: Skid, Aaron
I told you man. I can’t go out with her after knowing she wanted to hook up with Neil
<text message 11:14 p.m.>
From: Aaron
To: Sahil, Skid
But dude she explained that
<text message 11:14 p.m.>
From: Sahil
To: Skid, Aaron
I don’t want to talk about it
<text message 11:15 p.m.>
From: Skid
To: Sahil, Aaron
i know what you need bro. I got a giant bag of chili cheese Fritos and Call of Duty ready to go
<text message 11:16 p.m.>
From: Aaron
To: Sahil, Skid
He doesn’t need a video game that encourages toxic masculinity and brainless murder rn. He needs to chill and listen to music. I just found this new band Piggy’s Death Rattle. Perfect for how he’s feeling
<text message 11:17 p.m.>
From: Sahil
To: Skid, Aaron
I welcome both the toxic masculinity and the … piggy’s death rattle. But aren’t you guys with Portia and Matthew?
<text message 11:18 p.m.>
From: Skid
To: Sahil, Aaron
bros first
<text message 11:19 p.m.>
From: Sahil
To: Skid, Aaron
Thanks guys. I think I’m just gonna chill in my room for now but I appreciate it
Sunday, June 28, but just barely
My room
Dear Nora Ephron, I have never been so scared in my life. Maddie pulled over down the street from the Roys’ house. (I was afraid Ajit Uncle would see me and insist on making me peanut butter pancakes or something, thus ruining the element of surprise—the only thing I had going for me at that point, let’s be honest.) I looked at her, my cold hands gripped tightly in my lap.
“It’s going to be fine,” she said, smiling. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
“I could end up an empty, emotionless husk sitting alone in my authentically rickety house night after night until the leaking roof eventually caves in on me and finally releases me to sweet, merciful death?”
She stared at me for a long minute. “Okaaaay …”
I looked down at my lap and then back at her. “I really want this, Maddie. I really want him.”
“I know you do,” she said, leaning over to hug me. Then, holding me by the shoulders, “And he wants you. You just need to show him that his insecurities about his brother are unjustified. That you’re crazy about him and not Neil. That all of that Neil fantasizing stuff is in your past.”
I nodded. “Right. I can do that. I can, I can, I can.”
Maddie patted me on the arm. “Get to it, Juliet. Actually, no, wait. Juliet dies at the end, so … maybe don’t channel Shakespeare for this one.”
“Awesome. Thanks for … that.”
Maddie laughed and, grinning, I hopped out of her car, waved, took a deep breath, and walked toward the back of the Roys’ house.
When I was in the almost completely dark backyard, it occurred to me that if any of the neighbors happened to be looking out their window, I’d look very much like a thief. And that might not end so well for me. Before I lost my nerve, I jumped and grabbed the bottom limb of a giant bur oak tree and began to climb up. It had been years since I’d climbed a tree, but I didn’t have a choice right then, did I? This was my last-ditch attempt. My Hail Mary pass. My—
Owwww.
A sharp twig had just scratched the crap out of my bare leg. I could feel the blood beading there. I glared at the twig and then kept climbing until I was right outside Sahil’s window. The shades were drawn, so I couldn’t see in, but there was enough light emanating from behind the shades that I could tell he wasn’t asleep.
I held on to a branch with one hand and shakily reached the other hand toward his window. I knocked twice and then put my hand back on the branch. Do not look down. Do not look down, Twinkle, I told myself. Why had I neglected to consider my fear of heights?
No one opened the window.
Oh, great. So either (a) Sahil wasn’t home or (b) he’d decided, wisely, not to open his second-story window at midnight to any rando who happened to be knocking.
I looked down. Oh my God. I began to hyperventilate until those little black dots swam in front of my eyes. There was no way I was going to climb back down. No. Way. They’d just have to call the fire department whenever Ajit Uncle happened to come outside and find me in their tree. I could fall and break my neck. Oh my God. It felt like someone was pushing me out of the tree. My breath came out faster and faster, and the black circles grew. …
“Twinkle?”
I snapped my head around to see Sahil leaning out his window, staring at me, his mouth hanging open. “Hey, are you okay?”
There was a ringing in my ears now. “I, um …”
Sahil leaned farther out of his window, and then I felt his strong arms around me. “Hey. Come on. Careful …” He gently tugged and guided me until I was able to let go of the branch and clamber into his room. Leading me to his chair, he had me sit. “You don’t look so good. Would you like some water?”
I put my head down on my lap. “No, I’m okay. … I just got a little light-headed looking down at the ground.”
The black spots slowly receded, and the ringing in my ears was gone. And then it hit me: I’d been trying to stage a romantic, daring scene and I’d almost passed out and had to be rescued by the object of my affections. I sat up, my cheeks heating up. “Um … wow. This is embarrassing. Not how this was supposed to go.”
Sahil’s mouth twitched, like he was trying not to smile. “What, um, what were you doing in my tree?”
I twisted my fingers together. My face was probably as purple as my idiotic skirt. “I was trying to be … you know. Dashing and gallant?” I forced a weak smile.
“Oh.” He frowned, apparently not impressed. “Hey. Your leg’s bleeding.”
I looked down to see the scrape on my shin. Wincing, I blew on it. “Oh, yeah. I scraped it on that stupid tree.”
