Mateo’s feet rooted to the floor. He looked at Josiah...and he swore his fucking insides cracked apart. “Lo siento, mi precioso. Lo siento. It was my fault. They hurt you, and it was my fault.”
Both Jay and Tristan pushed to their feet. They reached him at the same time, Josiah holding him. Tristan speaking to him. “You saved him. You will always save him.”
Mateo gripped Josiah as tight as he could, holding the man to his chest. Javier had hurt Josiah. Javier persuaded Mateo to leave Josiah. It all tied back to one man. From the past, he feared he would never escape.
“It’s not your fault, Teo. You always did your best by me. Even now, you are willing to confess to something you didn’t do, to go to prison for something neither of us did, just to save me being investigated and Tristan’s job. Don’t let us lose you over this, Teo.”
Anger made his whole body shake. All this time. They lost time, and Jay got hurt...but then, if he hadn’t sent Josiah away, they wouldn’t have Tristan.
“Josiah is right. It’s a balance, Mateo. We’re giving Josiah what he needs. We’re telling him everything, and then he will give us what we need as well. Don’t get lost in the past. We will give Josiah his light again, and then let him lead you out of the dark.”
His whole life, he had lost. Josiah and Tristan lost, too. As much as his chest hurt, as his muscles cramped and his gut ached, and as intensely as the fire for revenge blazed through him, he would find a way to try and do as Tristan said. He had them. His light, and his mirror, in the darkness.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Josiah
Josiah listened as Tristan told them he’d walked away from his job. Words like “severance pay” were thrown around, but those didn’t matter. He just knew Tristan had lost something, but that he’d done it for them.
Mateo told them he’d made calls to New York. That Javier was there. He still didn’t know if Javier was responsible for the fire, but he had someone he trusted looking into it.
Tristan cursed and Josiah’s eyes dropped closed when they heard Mateo had promised a favor in return for information.
And then it was his turn. He’d told them they needed to keep lines of communication open and not try to protect him, but Josiah wasn’t innocent, either.
“I’ve been getting some strange phone calls. Nothing major, just someone who calls and doesn’t talk. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but...” Josiah looked at Tristan and Mateo from their spot on the bed. They’d moved here a little while ago to finish the conversation.
“Fuck! You should have told me, Jay.” Mateo tried to stand, but Tristan grabbed him and wouldn’t let him.
Tristan shook his head. “They were only phone calls. How was he supposed to know? He’s telling us now, just like we’re telling him things now. That’s what matters.”
It was incredible watching Tristan get Mateo to control his anger. Only Josiah had been able to do that before, and he loved watching that between them.
“It could be coincidence,” Josiah said. “What would he get out of calling? It’ll be okay. Nothing will hurt us anymore.”
Mateo relaxed again and winked at Josiah. Josiah could tell it was an effort, but he did it. “There’s our guy. We need that, your optimism.”
Josiah believed that. That was his piece, and he would gladly play it. He just needed them to continue to give him the tools. “I’m sorry. I should have said something. I should have tried harder. I don’t know why I felt so lost there for a little while.”
Tristan cupped his face. “We all played a part in it. How can you give us what we need if we don’t give you what you need?”
The truth was, he just needed them. Now. In every way. Always. The three of them hadn’t connected in what felt like so long, and it was time to change that.
Josiah smiled at Tristan, then Mateo. He already grew hard knowing what he wanted. Knowing they would give him whatever he asked for. “I’ve felt like I’ve been floating, like I’ve been lost.”
“Me too, mi precioso. I want you so fuckin’ bad.” Mateo looked at Tristan. “Can I have him? You can fuck me.”
“No.” Josiah answered before Tristan could. “I want you both. Together. I want to be full of you both. I want us to all anchor each other.”
Nerves ran down his spine like spiders scurrying down a wall. Two of them, both of them, stretching him, fucking him, loving him. Those last couple thoughts overpowered the nerves. He wanted this, wanted both his men inside him.
