Full Contact
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“I never really knew pain until I woke up each morning and knew I wouldn’t see you. I never knew love until I held you in my arms.”
“I knew you loved me when you wouldn’t fight Tag,” I say. “That meant everything to me.”
Ray slants his mouth over mine and kisses me so deeply I feel it in my toes.
“I loved you a lot longer than that. Just took me a while to realize it.” He slides his hand into his pocket and pulls out the necklace. “Wear this for me. I spent an entire night driving around the city trying to think of a way for us to be together and to keep you safe when I couldn’t be with you all the time. I stopped for a coffee and I saw this in the window of a little jewelry shop beside the café. The stone reminded me so much of the color of your eyes, I went in and bought it, and then I thought of attaching the tracker so I could always be with you, always keep you safe. It came from the heart.”
I spin around and lift my hair so Ray can fasten it around my neck. Then I turn and close my eyes as the tiny weight settles between my breasts. “Welcome home,” I whisper.
This time his kiss is gentle, soft nibbles and licks, caressing my mouth. A wave of heat rushes through me. And something else—a fierce rush of emotion and a certainty I am where I belong.
Chapter 28
I’m pretending they can’t see
“Mom. Dad. We have something to tell you.”
Sunday night before Luke’s trial, Tag and I have an emotional talk with our parents. We tell them what happened with Luke, and why we decided to keep it quiet. I tell them how putting the past behind me was the only way I could cope, and how the tats and piercings gave me the armor I needed to make it through each day. Mom dissolves into tears and tells me she’s sorry for giving me such a hard time, and if only I’d told her, she could have helped. Dad shakes his head and says he wishes he could have been there for us, and he would never have let anyone threaten his kids and get away with it. And where is this guy now, anyway?
So we give them the good news. Tag has been working hard to collect evidence against him, and we’re going to testify at the trial. They promise to be there. Dad says he wants to look Luke in the eye, so that if Dad ever meets him in a dark alley…
I tell him, actually, I have a new boyfriend who beat him to it.
When we’ve talked everything through and dried our tears, I call Ray. He is the first boyfriend I have ever invited for Sunday dinner. With his usual confidence, he walks into the house and shakes Dad’s hand. Dad asks him about his fights. Five minutes later, they are on the couch in front of the TV with Tag. Best friends forever.
Ray sits beside me at dinner and throws a casual arm over the back of my chair. Mom’s lips quiver as she tries to repress a smile. I have never seen her so sad and so happy as I have this evening. I could make her even happier if I told her about the baby, but since it hasn’t been three months yet, we’ve decided to wait.
“So, Ray. What do you do besides fight?” Dad leans back in his chair and I tense. My parents aren’t big on evasiveness, especially Dad, because he’s a straight-up kind of guy.
“PI work.” Ray strokes my shoulder. “I also served in the military and did a few other things. Moved around a lot. Not anymore. I found a girl who made me want to settle down.”
Dad nods and grunts his approval while Mom gives up on trying to hide her feelings and beams.
“You treat her right,” Dad says. “She’s my little girl, and Tag and I will always have her back.”
Ray gives me a gentle squeeze. “That makes three of us, but I don’t think she needs us anymore.”
* * *
That night, before the trial, I leave Ray asleep in his bed, pull on one of his T-shirts, and stand by his balcony window, looking out into the night. Barely visible through the smog, stars prick the dark gray sky, and ten stories below, the streets are empty and quiet. Danger lurks down in the darkness, but here, high in Ray’s tower, I am safe.
My hand drifts to my stomach. We are safe.
“People can see you in the window.” Ray curls an arm around me, pulling me into his chest. The room is dark around us save for a faint light streaming from his alcove.
“I know, but I’m pretending they can’t see me. That’s what I’m going to do tomorrow. I’m going to sit in the witness box, tell my story, and pretend no one else is around.”
Ray eases up the T-shirt and slips a hand underneath, cupping my breast in his warm palm. “I’ll be there. And your parents. And Jess too.”
I look back over my shoulder. “Okay. I’ll pretend no one else is there except the people I love.”
He tugs the T-shirt higher in the back and works his way underneath until he cradles both my breasts in his hands. “Luke will be there.”
“You’re ruining the moment.”
Ray laughs and rolls my nipples between his thumbs and forefingers. “Look him in the eyes when you say your piece. Show him your courage. Let him know he didn’t break you.”
“Only one man has come close to breaking me.” I grind against his hardened length barely concealed by his pajama pants, and Ray groans.
“And only one woman has ever brought me to my knees.” He slides both hands down my hips, and then grabs the edge of my T-shirt and whips it over my head.
“Ray!” Naked, in front of his balcony window, I am in full view of the apartments across from us and perhaps from the street below. And, oh God, what a thrill.
“I knew you loved me when you wouldn’t fight Tag,” I say. “That meant everything to me.”
Ray slants his mouth over mine and kisses me so deeply I feel it in my toes.
“I loved you a lot longer than that. Just took me a while to realize it.” He slides his hand into his pocket and pulls out the necklace. “Wear this for me. I spent an entire night driving around the city trying to think of a way for us to be together and to keep you safe when I couldn’t be with you all the time. I stopped for a coffee and I saw this in the window of a little jewelry shop beside the café. The stone reminded me so much of the color of your eyes, I went in and bought it, and then I thought of attaching the tracker so I could always be with you, always keep you safe. It came from the heart.”
I spin around and lift my hair so Ray can fasten it around my neck. Then I turn and close my eyes as the tiny weight settles between my breasts. “Welcome home,” I whisper.
This time his kiss is gentle, soft nibbles and licks, caressing my mouth. A wave of heat rushes through me. And something else—a fierce rush of emotion and a certainty I am where I belong.
Chapter 28
I’m pretending they can’t see
“Mom. Dad. We have something to tell you.”
Sunday night before Luke’s trial, Tag and I have an emotional talk with our parents. We tell them what happened with Luke, and why we decided to keep it quiet. I tell them how putting the past behind me was the only way I could cope, and how the tats and piercings gave me the armor I needed to make it through each day. Mom dissolves into tears and tells me she’s sorry for giving me such a hard time, and if only I’d told her, she could have helped. Dad shakes his head and says he wishes he could have been there for us, and he would never have let anyone threaten his kids and get away with it. And where is this guy now, anyway?
So we give them the good news. Tag has been working hard to collect evidence against him, and we’re going to testify at the trial. They promise to be there. Dad says he wants to look Luke in the eye, so that if Dad ever meets him in a dark alley…
I tell him, actually, I have a new boyfriend who beat him to it.
When we’ve talked everything through and dried our tears, I call Ray. He is the first boyfriend I have ever invited for Sunday dinner. With his usual confidence, he walks into the house and shakes Dad’s hand. Dad asks him about his fights. Five minutes later, they are on the couch in front of the TV with Tag. Best friends forever.
Ray sits beside me at dinner and throws a casual arm over the back of my chair. Mom’s lips quiver as she tries to repress a smile. I have never seen her so sad and so happy as I have this evening. I could make her even happier if I told her about the baby, but since it hasn’t been three months yet, we’ve decided to wait.
“So, Ray. What do you do besides fight?” Dad leans back in his chair and I tense. My parents aren’t big on evasiveness, especially Dad, because he’s a straight-up kind of guy.
“PI work.” Ray strokes my shoulder. “I also served in the military and did a few other things. Moved around a lot. Not anymore. I found a girl who made me want to settle down.”
Dad nods and grunts his approval while Mom gives up on trying to hide her feelings and beams.
“You treat her right,” Dad says. “She’s my little girl, and Tag and I will always have her back.”
Ray gives me a gentle squeeze. “That makes three of us, but I don’t think she needs us anymore.”
* * *
That night, before the trial, I leave Ray asleep in his bed, pull on one of his T-shirts, and stand by his balcony window, looking out into the night. Barely visible through the smog, stars prick the dark gray sky, and ten stories below, the streets are empty and quiet. Danger lurks down in the darkness, but here, high in Ray’s tower, I am safe.
My hand drifts to my stomach. We are safe.
“People can see you in the window.” Ray curls an arm around me, pulling me into his chest. The room is dark around us save for a faint light streaming from his alcove.
“I know, but I’m pretending they can’t see me. That’s what I’m going to do tomorrow. I’m going to sit in the witness box, tell my story, and pretend no one else is around.”
Ray eases up the T-shirt and slips a hand underneath, cupping my breast in his warm palm. “I’ll be there. And your parents. And Jess too.”
I look back over my shoulder. “Okay. I’ll pretend no one else is there except the people I love.”
He tugs the T-shirt higher in the back and works his way underneath until he cradles both my breasts in his hands. “Luke will be there.”
“You’re ruining the moment.”
Ray laughs and rolls my nipples between his thumbs and forefingers. “Look him in the eyes when you say your piece. Show him your courage. Let him know he didn’t break you.”
“Only one man has come close to breaking me.” I grind against his hardened length barely concealed by his pajama pants, and Ray groans.
“And only one woman has ever brought me to my knees.” He slides both hands down my hips, and then grabs the edge of my T-shirt and whips it over my head.
“Ray!” Naked, in front of his balcony window, I am in full view of the apartments across from us and perhaps from the street below. And, oh God, what a thrill.
