Olivia’s mouth drops and despair takes possession of her eyes. Leaning in, I brush my lips across her cheek and whisper. “It was good seeing you. Take care of yourself.”
I turn away and don’t give her a backward glance, heading to the opposite side of the lot for my car. I expect a feeling of liberation and relief will hit me at any time. The farther I walk away from her, the more I keep expecting it to overcome me. Except…it doesn’t. Instead, I fill up with darkness, sadness…guilt and shame. I look deep inside me and search for the anger, so I can let that give me strength. That’s gone as well.
“What happened?” I hear and see Alex coming out the door of Houlihan’s. I don’t respond, but lengthen my strides, eager to get in my car and head home. I’m thinking maybe a bottle of Jack Daniel’s will ease my discomfort.
Alex grabs my arm and halts my progress. “Garrett…dude, what happened?”
“Nothing,” I mutter, and pull out of his hold.
He grabs me again and spins me toward him roughly. I shake his grasp off and glare at him. “What the fuck do you want?”
“I want to know what happened with you and Olivia. I saw you come out after her…figured you two were talking. You know…patching things up.”
I give him a wry grin and snort in mock amusement. “There was nothing to patch up.”
“What? Of course there was. Isn’t that why she came tonight? To apologize…to get you both back on track?”
Turning away from Alex, I start for my car again. He walks beside me, waiting patiently for my answer.
“Yeah, that’s what she came for. She apologized and I accepted it.”
“Then why are you headed in one direction and she’s headed in another?” he asks amiably.
“Because I declined her invitation to get back together.”
Alex stops dead in his tracks, and I turn to look at him. “You did what?”
“I declined. Not interested.”
“Are you a fucking moron?” he asks incredulously. “Do you know how hard that must have been for her to lay herself out on the line like that?”
Taking a step toward Alex, I poke my finger in his chest and snarl, “Do you know how badly she fucking hurt me? Stomped on the trust I had in her? It’s not something I can overlook.”
“You are a fucking moron,” he sneers right back at me, giving me a poke in my chest in retaliation. “Yeah…she made a mistake. A huge, stupid mistake. But she realized it. She owned up to it. She apologized. And as much as you want to stay angry with her, and as ludicrous as her actions were, you can’t deny they came from a place of love. It didn’t come from hate, indifference, or selfishness. She did it because she thought it was best for you. She did it because she loves you. And if you’re going to throw that all away because your stubborn pride can’t seem to shake it off, then, yeah…you are a fucking moron.”
Every single one of his words slam into me…causing more guilt to eat at me and shame to prickle at my skin. I look past Alex’s shoulder…back to the area of the parking lot where I had just left Olivia. She’s gone.
I look back at Alex, and because I can’t admit to being the fool, I carelessly shrug and say, “Oh, well…looks like I’m a moron.”
Turning away from him, I head to my car once again and call out over my shoulder, “Catch ya later.”
Chapter 30
Olivia
Where are you? I text Stevie as the nurse fiddles with my IV bag. He had dropped me off at the front door of Dr. Yoffman’s clinic twenty minutes ago, telling me he was going to park the car and would be right in behind me.
He doesn’t respond to my text, and I assume maybe he’s on an important phone call or something.
“You’re over the hump now,” the nurse says to me with a smile. “It’s all downhill.”
Yup. I’m starting my fourth treatment, and I’m more than halfway through my battle to put this cancer into remission.
“You want something to drink?” she asks me as she steps away from the IV stand.
“I’m good,” I tell her with a smile and I flip open a magazine. I stare blankly at the first page, trying to muster up some interest, but my mind keeps wandering back to Garrett.
I wish Stevie would hurry up and get here so I can bend his ear some more. Since that disastrous conversation with Garrett last week, I’ve been pumping Stevie for information, because I know they are still talking. But Stevie won’t indulge me. While he patiently listened to me at work the day after Garrett blew me off, and even rubbed my shoulders soothingly, he wasn’t overly sympathetic to my plight. I sort of expected him to be as exasperated with Garrett as I was…proclaiming to anyone who would listen that he was being a hardheaded, stubborn fool.
The most I got from Stevie was a final pat on the head and a cryptic “It will all work out for the best.”
It will all work out for the best?
Seriously…those were the best words of comfort my bestie had for me?
Ridiculous, but what could I do? Stevie was apparently of the opinion that I had made my bed, and I could at least lie in it for a while.
Sutton was slightly more comforting, but she was playing it straight down the middle.
“I understand both sides. I see where both of you are coming from,” she had said neutrally to me on the phone one night.
“Yeah…but I’m right and he’s wrong,” I asserted.
I turn away and don’t give her a backward glance, heading to the opposite side of the lot for my car. I expect a feeling of liberation and relief will hit me at any time. The farther I walk away from her, the more I keep expecting it to overcome me. Except…it doesn’t. Instead, I fill up with darkness, sadness…guilt and shame. I look deep inside me and search for the anger, so I can let that give me strength. That’s gone as well.
“What happened?” I hear and see Alex coming out the door of Houlihan’s. I don’t respond, but lengthen my strides, eager to get in my car and head home. I’m thinking maybe a bottle of Jack Daniel’s will ease my discomfort.
Alex grabs my arm and halts my progress. “Garrett…dude, what happened?”
“Nothing,” I mutter, and pull out of his hold.
He grabs me again and spins me toward him roughly. I shake his grasp off and glare at him. “What the fuck do you want?”
“I want to know what happened with you and Olivia. I saw you come out after her…figured you two were talking. You know…patching things up.”
I give him a wry grin and snort in mock amusement. “There was nothing to patch up.”
“What? Of course there was. Isn’t that why she came tonight? To apologize…to get you both back on track?”
Turning away from Alex, I start for my car again. He walks beside me, waiting patiently for my answer.
“Yeah, that’s what she came for. She apologized and I accepted it.”
“Then why are you headed in one direction and she’s headed in another?” he asks amiably.
“Because I declined her invitation to get back together.”
Alex stops dead in his tracks, and I turn to look at him. “You did what?”
“I declined. Not interested.”
“Are you a fucking moron?” he asks incredulously. “Do you know how hard that must have been for her to lay herself out on the line like that?”
Taking a step toward Alex, I poke my finger in his chest and snarl, “Do you know how badly she fucking hurt me? Stomped on the trust I had in her? It’s not something I can overlook.”
“You are a fucking moron,” he sneers right back at me, giving me a poke in my chest in retaliation. “Yeah…she made a mistake. A huge, stupid mistake. But she realized it. She owned up to it. She apologized. And as much as you want to stay angry with her, and as ludicrous as her actions were, you can’t deny they came from a place of love. It didn’t come from hate, indifference, or selfishness. She did it because she thought it was best for you. She did it because she loves you. And if you’re going to throw that all away because your stubborn pride can’t seem to shake it off, then, yeah…you are a fucking moron.”
Every single one of his words slam into me…causing more guilt to eat at me and shame to prickle at my skin. I look past Alex’s shoulder…back to the area of the parking lot where I had just left Olivia. She’s gone.
I look back at Alex, and because I can’t admit to being the fool, I carelessly shrug and say, “Oh, well…looks like I’m a moron.”
Turning away from him, I head to my car once again and call out over my shoulder, “Catch ya later.”
Chapter 30
Olivia
Where are you? I text Stevie as the nurse fiddles with my IV bag. He had dropped me off at the front door of Dr. Yoffman’s clinic twenty minutes ago, telling me he was going to park the car and would be right in behind me.
He doesn’t respond to my text, and I assume maybe he’s on an important phone call or something.
“You’re over the hump now,” the nurse says to me with a smile. “It’s all downhill.”
Yup. I’m starting my fourth treatment, and I’m more than halfway through my battle to put this cancer into remission.
“You want something to drink?” she asks me as she steps away from the IV stand.
“I’m good,” I tell her with a smile and I flip open a magazine. I stare blankly at the first page, trying to muster up some interest, but my mind keeps wandering back to Garrett.
I wish Stevie would hurry up and get here so I can bend his ear some more. Since that disastrous conversation with Garrett last week, I’ve been pumping Stevie for information, because I know they are still talking. But Stevie won’t indulge me. While he patiently listened to me at work the day after Garrett blew me off, and even rubbed my shoulders soothingly, he wasn’t overly sympathetic to my plight. I sort of expected him to be as exasperated with Garrett as I was…proclaiming to anyone who would listen that he was being a hardheaded, stubborn fool.
The most I got from Stevie was a final pat on the head and a cryptic “It will all work out for the best.”
It will all work out for the best?
Seriously…those were the best words of comfort my bestie had for me?
Ridiculous, but what could I do? Stevie was apparently of the opinion that I had made my bed, and I could at least lie in it for a while.
Sutton was slightly more comforting, but she was playing it straight down the middle.
“I understand both sides. I see where both of you are coming from,” she had said neutrally to me on the phone one night.
“Yeah…but I’m right and he’s wrong,” I asserted.
