Get off on the Pain
Page 35

He looks away for a second before continuing. “You were raised by your asshole father that is too stupid to see your worth and how damn beautiful you are. He’s a lucky son of a bitch and he blew it . . . but it also made you strong and independent; a fighter . . . like me.”
I swallow back the swarm of emotions that are taking over me. Okay, so he knows a little more about me than I expected, and I fucking love him for it. It only shows how deep he is and that maybe there’s a small part of him that cares about me too. I need more though. I want to know about him. I want him to be able to tell me and to want to tell me. “Can you tell me anything about yourself, like why you’ve been locked up? Where’s your father? Where did you take off to for a whole week? Anything?”
He shakes his head and grinds his jaw before releasing my wrist. “No. I’m leaving soon. I’m not allowing you the chance to hate me while I’m still here.”
“That’s what I thought.” I walk past him and to the stairs. “Have a good night, Memphis.”
Without wasting another second, I make my way upstairs and let myself out. The cool wind hits me, and suddenly I feel a rush of emotions. My cheeks feel like ice as tears run down my face.
It’s not just about Memphis refusing to open up to me. It’s about Memphis reminding me of how much my father never cared. I always felt as if I wasn’t good enough, because I wasn’t the damn boy that he wanted. My mother didn’t even want me enough to take me when she left. I was stuck with an asshole that pretended I wasn’t even around. Now, I’m here in this damn town because I thought things would be different if I moved closer to my father. I was wrong and all I have is Bailey. She’s my family now.
Right as I get ready to reach for the door, I feel an arm reach around me and feel the softness of Memphis’ breath skimming across my neck.
“You don’t have your key,” he whispers.
I almost allow myself to turn around, fall into him, and bury my face into the warmth of his firm chest, but the rational part of me is screaming not to allow him to see my emotions, to let him see just how broken I truly feel right now. I’ve always been strong for myself; I still can and I will. He has enough pain to deal with.
He slips his key into the handle and slowly turns it, while brushing his lips up the side of my neck, stopping just below my ear. “Goodnight, Lyric.” His words come out in a painful whisper, before he pushes the door open and turns and walks away.
I allow myself a few seconds to compose myself, listening for his door to close, before quietly walking inside and closing the door behind me.
Damn . . . I already miss him.
IT’S BEEN FIVE DAYS SINCE I have spoken to Memphis. The only time I’ve seen him is when he leaves his house, but I avoid him by staying inside, waiting for him to leave before I do. I still can’t get past the fact that he can’t open up to me, or won’t. Why is it such a fucking big deal for him to tell me anything about him? I’ve never met someone so secretive in my life besides my father . . . and nothing good has ever come of him. Those with secrets usually have a reason.
At first I liked the mystery of Memphis. I liked that he kept me guessing and made me wonder, but now it’s almost painful to be left in the dark. Nothing hurts worse than wanting to get to know someone, only to have that person refuse to open up to you. How can you be there for someone and help ease their pain when you don’t even know what’s hurting them? You can’t . . . so I’m just going to stay away and keep my distance before I get hurt.
Trevor asked me to come out with him tonight. After realizing that I need to do something to get my mind off Memphis, I agreed. Trevor may not be my ideal date, but he’s definitely sexy and fun. To be honest, I’m enjoying myself more than I expected.
“Hey. You over there daydreaming about me naked?”
I look up and laugh at Trevor across the table. I was so lost in thought for a moment that I didn’t even notice he was watching me. “Are you always this smooth on dates or is it just with me?”
Trevor smirks and tilts back his fifth shot of the night before answering. “Definitely always. It’s a curse and a blessing; a love, hate relationship.”
I can’t help but to laugh at his playfulness. Maybe Trevor will be a good distraction. It may never be anything more than friends, but you can never have too many friends. When you’ve never had much of a family, friends become the most important thing in life. I learned that the hard way.
I watch him for a moment, happy that I decided to get out of the house. He’s kept me smiling practically the whole night, although I can tell he’s getting a bit drunk now. He asked me to dance a few times, but until now I haven’t had enough alcohol to even want to. “Come on, Rico Suave.” I take a drink of my beer and stand up, reaching for his hand. “I’m tired of sitting.”
He grabs my hand and I pull him behind me, making my way toward the dance floor. As soon as we find an empty spot his hands wrap around my waist and we both move to the slow rhythm of the music.
I feel him grinding behind me as his warm breath heats my ear. It feels nice, but I have to admit . . . it does nothing for me; not like having Memphis close. When Memphis is near I’m lucky if I can even breathe. I feel as if I can just melt into his body and forget about everything else in this fucked up world. He gives me this odd mixture of ease and peacefulness, while still making me feel . . . alive.
I feel Trevor’s lips brush under my ear as he whispers, “You feel so good in my arms. You’re damn sexy, Lyric. You belong with a man like me . . . not someone like Memphis.” His grip on me tightens, causing me to feel his erection pressed against my ass.
He grinds his hips a few times, pulling me as close as possible, to ensure that I feel what I’m doing to him. I’ll admit it’s sexy, but I have a feeling that every other girl does the same thing to him and that just makes it less appealing. A girl wants to feel different than the rest. We all have the same thing between our legs, but who wants to feel like a damn number? Memphis never makes me feel this way. It’s one thing that drew me to him to begin with.
Spinning in his arms, I place my hands on his chest for a little space. “Take it easy, killer. I agreed to a dance, not to fucking you on the dance floor.”
He lifts an eyebrow, amused. “So you prefer to fuck me somewhere else?”