Get off on the Pain
Page 37

“You’re not going home.” He pushes the front door open and nods to Alex as he smiles up at us from the couch.
“Nice, bro. Try not to scare her off.” He stands up as Memphis turns down the hallway. “I’ll kick his ass if you need me to, Lyric. Just yell for me.”
I can’t help but to smile at Alex. He’s so damn cute, and somewhat irresistible. Unlike Memphis, he probably doesn’t have to kidnap girls to get them in his room.
I wait for Memphis to throw me down on his bed before I jump to my feet and shove his chest. All he does is look down into my eyes, holding me captive. One look. That one look brings me to my knees and causes me to surrender. I feel soft now. All my anger is gone.
“I should go home, Memphis.”
He ignores me. Without a word he strips himself down to his boxers, before reaching out to undress me. “Stay.”
All I can manage to do is look at his face while he concentrates on slowly undressing me. That look always gets me. He doesn’t seem so tough then. He seems gentle and caring.
“I’m not having sex with you,” I say as firmly as I can. It’s a struggle, a big struggle, because in all honesty I want to make love to him. I want him to take me in every way.
Grabbing me by the waist he pulls me into bed with him and wraps us both under the blanket. “I’m not trying to have sex with you. If I were . . . you’d know.” He pulls me as close as possible and starts rubbing my arms and legs. “I’m trying to warm you up so you don’t get sick. My mom used to do this when I was a small kid,” he says softly. “Just let me do something right for once.”
I feel my heart shatter from the pain in his voice as I snuggle into him and close my eyes. I don’t say a word. I don’t want to ruin this moment. It’s not very often that this man is gentle. I’ll take it when I can.
Between his body heat and the warmth of his breath on my neck, I warm up quickly and can feel my body slowly stop shaking in his arms.
“Why were you out with Trevor? I thought I told you he was no good for you.” His voice comes out stiffly, laced with pain as he pulls me closer to him.
Closing my eyes, I snuggle into his arm, breathing in his scent. “I always judge for myself, Memphis,” I say softly. “I would never judge you by another person’s words, so I won’t do it to others either.”
He lets out a soft breath as if he understands where I’m coming from. “Yeah, well . . . I will never lie to you, Lyric. I want you to trust me on that. I may not be able to tell you certain things, but I will never speak a lie to you. Tell me you’ll stay away from Trevor,” he demands.
Rubbing my lips against his arm, I whisper, “Okay.”
He squeezes me once, showing that he’s satisfied, before moving my hair behind my ear and gently kissing my neck.
My heart constricts from this tiny kiss alone. It was a gentle, caring gesture . . . the one thing he said he incapable of, but he just was. I close my eyes and smile to myself, afraid of ruining the moment. It feels too good.
This man has the most beautiful heart I know. I just wish he could see it . . .
SHE’S SOUND ASLEEP IN MY arms and hasn’t moved an inch since the moment her eyes closed. I stopped rubbing her over an hour ago, but I haven’t moved from my spot either. I’ll admit it feels damn good having her close; a feeling that I’m not used to, and one that I didn’t want.
I should’ve known better than to fuck her, taking her body in the way I craved, but I could only fight it for so long. Knowing that she wanted it too made it fucking impossible. She’s different than the other girls. She was right when she said it, and now that I’ve felt what it’s like to be inside her, I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s tormenting to want someone in a way that you can’t have them, knowing that you can never give them what they truly need, or what you would want them to have.
As soon as she finds out the truth about the monster I can be, she’ll be gone. She doesn’t know anything about me, at least nothing good enough for her to want to stay. Plus, having her in my life could be dangerous for her, especially now that Asher is involved. That’s why when the time is right, I’ll show her who I really am. I have a feeling that is the only thing that will scare her away and keep her safe if some shit goes down.
Her body is now warm in my arms, yet I’m still trying to hold her close so that I can comfort her. In my arms she looks so small. She’s the perfect fit.
Remembering the way her body was trembling makes me feel like total shit. I had a feeling she would end up on the back of my bike, but when I left the house it was a hell of a lot warmer and sure as hell wasn’t raining.
I was sitting out on the back porch with my guitar, trying to stay away, when I heard Trevor pick her up around eight. It took everything in me not to go over there and stop her from going, but I knew it wasn’t my place. I pushed her away, and in that moment it was time to let her go. I can’t expect her to abandon dating, or to deny anyone else; although, he’s the last guy I’d hoped she’d fall for.
I couldn’t stand the thought of her being with him, so I took off riding, hoping it would calm my racing thoughts. It did nothing but fuel them more. The longer she was out with him, the more it angered and worried me.
When I realized they were at the bar, of all places, my blood boiled at the idea of him possibly taking advantage of her. He’s a good guy and has always had my back, but when he drinks he’s someone else completely. He’s a lot like my piece of shit father was, as much as I hate to admit it. I’ve always hoped I’d never have to see anyone turn into anything remotely close to that asshole, especially my best friend, but I noticed it more and more as time went on. I tried to help him, but some people don’t want to be helped. The only way to change is to first want to yourself.
I waited outside for a couple of hours, just as a precaution, but I knew with them being inside so long, that I’d eventually have to go inside and check on her before he could drink enough to get to that point. I had to push my pride aside to look out for her safety, even though I knew she wouldn’t want to see me after what I had put her through. Who would? I’m a fucking asshole and even I know it.
I didn’t even get to make it inside. She was smart as I expected and figured it out for herself. When I saw her rush outside with Trevor at her heels, I knew there was going to be trouble. I stood back and listened for as long as I could before the anger exploded and I lost it. I could’ve choked that motherfucker out for handling her that way. I almost did too, had it not been for that small part inside holding me back; the part that reminded me of what happened last time I came to someone’s rescue . . . Alex.