Golden Fool
Page 120

 Robin Hobb

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She gave a shrug and released my hand as she walked back to the chair. “Lord Golden isn’t exactly expecting me. I came looking for him and a servant directed me here. I knocked, no answer, so I came in to wait.” She seated herself, crossed her legs at the knee, and then asked with a knowing grin, “So. How is Amber?”
Something was not right here. I glanced at the other closed doors. “I know no one named Amber. How did you get in?” I stood between her and the door. She looked formidable, but her clothing and hair were unruffled. If she had done any damage to the Fool, she’d likely show some signs of a struggle. Nor was anything in the room awry.
“I opened the door and walked in. It wasn’t locked.”
“That door is always locked.” I tried to make my contradiction pleasant, but I was becoming more and more worried.
“Well, it wasn’t today, Tom, and I have important business with Lord Golden. As I am well known to him, I doubt he would mind me entering his rooms. I’ve conducted a lot of business on his behalf in the last year or so, with Amber as the go-between.” She tilted her head and rolled her eyes at me. “And I don’t believe for a minute that you don’t know Amber.” She cocked her head the other way and stared at me discriminatingly. Then she grinned. “You know, I like you better with brown eyes. Much more becoming than the blue ones Paragon has.” As I stared at her in consternation, her grin grew wider. It was like being stalked by a large, overly friendly cat. I sensed no animosity from her. Rather it was as if she suppressed mirth and deliberately strove to make me uncomfortable, but in a friendly, teasing way. I could make no sense of her. I tried to decide if it would be better to eject her from the room or detain her here until Lord Golden returned. More and more, I longed to open the door to his bedchamber and privy, to be sure that no treachery had befallen him in my absence.
With sudden relief, I heard his key in the lock. I strode to the door, and opened it for him, proclaiming before he stepped in, “Lord Golden, a visitor awaits you. A Lady Jek. She says this is a—”
Before I could get any further in my warning speech, he pushed past me in a most uncharacteristic rush. He shut the door behind him as if Lady Jek were a puppy that might race out into the corridor, and he latched it before he turned toward her. His face was as pale as I’d seen it in years as he confronted his unexpected guest.
“Lord Golden?” Jek exclaimed. For a long moment she stared. Then she burst into hearty laughter, pounding a doubled fist against her thigh. “But, of course. Lord Golden! How could I not have guessed? I should have seen through it from the start!” She advanced on him, completely confident of a warm welcome, to hug him heartily and then step back. As she gripped him by the shoulders, her delighted gaze wandered over his face and hair. To me, he looked dazed, but her grin didn’t fade. “It’s marvelous. If I didn’t know, I never would have guessed. But I don’t understand. Why is this ruse necessary? Doesn’t it make it difficult for the two of you to be together?” She glanced from him to me, and it was apparent the question was addressed to both of us. Her implication was obvious, although I could not fathom her reference to a “ruse.” I felt the rush of heat and color to my face. I waited for Lord Golden to make some clarifying remark to her but he held his silence. The look I wore must have shocked her, for she turned her gaze back to Lord Golden. She spoke uncertainly. “Amber, my friend. Aren’t you glad to see me?”
Lord Golden’s face seemed immobilized. His jaws moved and then he finally spoke. His voice was low and calm but still seemed somewhat breathless. “Tom Badgerlock, I have no further need of your services today. You are dismissed.”
Never had it been harder for me to remain in my role, but I sensed desperation in Lord Golden’s retreat to formality. I clenched my teeth and bowed stiffly, containing my seething affront at Jek’s obvious assumption about us. My own voice was icy as I answered him.
“As you will, my lord. I will take the opportunity to rest.” I turned and retreated to my own chamber. As I passed the table, I took a candle. I opened my door, went into my room, and shut the door behind me. Almost.
I am not proud of what I did next. Shall I blame it on Chade’s early training of me? I could, but that would not be honest. I burned with indignation. Jek obviously believed Lord Golden and I were lovers. He had not bothered to correct her misconception; her words and manner told me that he was the source of it. To some end of his own, he allowed her to continue in that belief.
It was the way Jek had looked at me, as if she knew far more about me than I knew of her. Obviously, she knew Lord Golden, but from another place and by another name. I was sure I had never seen her before. So, whatever she knew of me, she knew from the Fool. I justified my spying on the grounds that I had the right to know what he had said about me to strangers. Especially when it made a stranger look from him to me and smile in a way so knowing and so offensive. What things had he said about me to her, to make her assume such a thing? Why? Why would he? Outrage struggled to blossom in me, but I suppressed it. There would be a reason, some driving purpose behind such talk. There had to be. I would trust my friend, but I had a right to know what it was. I set the candle on my table, sat down on my bed, and gripped my hands in my lap. I forced myself to discard all emotion. And no matter how distasteful my situation, I would be rational in my judgment. I listened. Their conversation came faintly to my straining ears.