Golden Fool
Page 133

 Robin Hobb

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“Well. That’s as may be.” He scowled at me. “Well, whatever it is, you’d best patch it up soon. You’re not worth a tinker’s damn when something like this has your back up.”
I took a breath to keep my temper down. “It’s not the only thing I’ve had on my mind lately,” I excused myself.
“No. We’ve all had far too much on our minds. What did your boy want, the other day when he came up to the castle? Is all well with him?”
“Not exactly.” I had been shocked when one of the kitchen boys had tapped at the door to tell me that a young man was asking for me in the kitchen yard. I hastened down to find Hap standing outside in the courtyard, looking both angry and sheepish. No, he wouldn’t come in, not even to the guards’ room, though I assured him none of them would mind. They’d become accustomed to seeing me there of late. He didn’t want to take much of my time, for he knew I was busy with tasks of my own. And at that my guilt began to build, for I had been busy of late, often too busy to see him when I knew I should have. By the time he worked up the courage to tell me that Jinna had turned him out and why, my resolve was already wavering.
He looked past my shoulder as he spoke to the lowering sky. “So, with no coin of my own, I’ve been sleeping wherever I could find a bit of shelter the last two nights. But I can’t do that the rest of winter. So I’ve no choice save to move into the apprentice house with the others. Only . . . it seems so awkward for me to ask after Master Gindast has suggested it so often and I’ve always refused it.”
This was news to me. “He has suggested it? Why? Seems he saves himself a bit of money, not having to give you your breakfast or supper.”
Hap squirmed unhappily. He took a breath. “He suggests it whenever my work is poor. He says if I slept a proper night and rose with the others, if I were on time to work and on time to bed, I would do better.” He glanced away. There was a gruff pride as he added, “He says he can see that I could do better, far better, at my work, if I weren’t so sleepy in the mornings. I’ve always insisted I could manage my own hours. And I have. Oh, I’ve been late a time or two, but I’ve been there every day since I came to Buckkeep Town. I have.”
He said this as if I might doubt it. I kept to myself that I had wondered if he had been faithful to his master’s hours.
I had let some little time lag. “So, then? What is the difficulty now? It seems that as he has asked you several times, he’d be pleased to see you take his suggestion.”
Hap was silent. He went a bit pinker about the ears. I waited. Then he steeled himself to it. “I wonder if perhaps you couldn’t go by and tell him you had decided it was best for me. It just seems simpler that way. Less awkward.”
I spoke slowly, wondering if the words were wise. “Less like you knuckling under to his suggestion, perhaps? Or less like Jinna turning you out because she didn’t want trouble on her doorstep?”
Hap flushed a deep scarlet and I knew I had struck true. He started to turn away. I put a hand on his shoulder and when he tried to shrug it off, I tightened my grip. He started when he could not twist free of it. So my daily practices on the weapons court had counted for something. I could hold a squirming lad against his will now. Such an accomplishment. I waited until he stopped struggling. He hadn’t tried to hit me, but neither had he turned back to face me. I spoke quietly, for his ears only, not for those who had turned to stare at our little contest. “Go to Gindast yourself, son. You might save face with the other apprentices by saying your father had forced you to move in with them. But in the long run, Gindast will respect you more if you go to him and say you’ve thought it over and decided it would be for the best if you lived there. And you might recall that Jinna has been kind, not just to you but to both of us, far beyond what any coin would buy and far beyond what either of us deserves from her. Don’t shun her because she wanted no trouble in her home. Trouble shouldn’t be the price of her being our friend.”
Then I had loosened my hold and allowed him to shrug free of me and stalk off. I didn’t know what he had done. I hadn’t gone to check on him. I had to let him sort that much of his life out for himself. He had food and shelter if he chose to accept them on the terms they were offered. More than that, I could not do for him. I dragged my thoughts back to my conversation with Chade.
“Hap’s had some difficulties adjusting to life in town,” I admitted to the old assassin. “On our holding, he was used to setting his own hours, as long as his chores were done. It was a simpler life. Less of a daily grind, and more choices for him.”