Grey
Page 28

 E.l. James

  • Background:
  • Text Font:
  • Text Size:
  • Line Height:
  • Line Break Height:
  • Frame:
Come on, Ana.
“Tell me,” I order. Sweet Lord, she’s frustrating.
“Well, I’ve not had sex before, so I don’t know,” she whispers.
The earth stops spinning.
I don’t fucking believe it.
How?
Why?
Fuck!
“Never?” I’m incredulous.
She shakes her head, eyes wide.
“You’re a virgin?” I don’t believe it.
She nods, embarrassed. I close my eyes. I can’t look at her.
How the hell did I get this so wrong?
Anger lances through me. What can I do with a virgin? I glare at her as fury surges through my body.
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” I growl, and start pacing my study. What do I want with a virgin? She shrugs apologetically, at a loss for words.
“I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me.” The exasperation is clear in my voice.
“The subject never came up,” she says. “I’m not in the habit of revealing my sexual status to everyone I meet. I mean, we hardly know each other.”
As ever, it’s a fair point. I can’t believe I’ve given her the bus tour of my playroom—thank heavens for the NDA.
“Well, you know a lot more about me now,” I snarl. “I knew you were inexperienced, but a virgin! Hell, Ana, I just showed you…”
Not only the playroom: my rules, hard limits. She knows nothing. How could I do this? “May God forgive me,” I mutter under my breath. I’m at a loss.
A startling thought occurs to me—our one kiss in the elevator, where I could have fucked her there and then—was that her first kiss?
“Have you ever been kissed, apart from by me?” Please say yes.
“Of course I have.” She looks offended. Yeah, she’s been kissed, but not often. And for some reason the thought is…pleasing.
“And a nice young man hasn’t swept you off your feet? I just don’t understand. You’re twenty-one, nearly twenty-two. You’re beautiful.” Why hasn’t some guy taken her to bed?
Shit, maybe she’s religious. No, Welch would have uncovered that. She gazes down at her fingers, and I think she’s smiling. She thinks this is funny? I could kick myself. “And you’re seriously discussing what I want to do, when you have no experience.”
Words fail me. How can this be?
“How have you avoided sex? Tell me, please.” Because I don’t get it. She’s in college—and from what I remember of college all the kids were fucking like rabbits.
All of them. Except me.
The thought is a dark one, but I push it aside for the moment.
Ana shrugs, her small shoulders lifting slightly. “No one’s really, you know…” She trails off.
No one has what? Seen how attractive you are? No one’s lived up to your expectations—and I do?
Me?
She really knows nothing. How could she ever be a submissive if she has no idea about sex? This is not going to fly…and all the groundwork I’ve done has been for nothing. I can’t close this deal.
“Why are you so angry with me?” she whispers.
Of course she would think that. Make this right, Grey.
“I’m not angry with you, I’m angry at myself. I just assumed—” Why the hell would I be angry with you? What a mess this is. I run my hands through my hair, trying to rein in my temper.
“Do you want to go?” I ask, concerned.
“No, unless you want me to go,” she says softly, her voice tinged with regret.
“Of course not. I like having you here.” The statement surprises me as I say it. I do like having her here. Being with her. She’s so…different. And I want to fuck her, and spank her, and watch her alabaster skin pink beneath my hands. That’s out of the question now—isn’t it? Perhaps not the fucking…perhaps I could. The thought is a revelation. I could take her to bed. Break her in. It would be a novel experience for both of us. Would she want to? She asked me earlier if I was going to make love to her. I could try, without tying her up.
But she might touch me.
Fuck. I glance down at my watch and note the time. It’s late. When I look back at her the sight of her toying with her bottom lip arouses me.
I still want her, in spite of her innocence. Could I take her to bed? Would she want to, knowing what she knows about me now? Hell, I have no idea. Do I just ask her? But she’s turning me on, biting her lip again. I point it out and she apologizes.
“Don’t apologize. It’s just that I want to bite it, too, hard.”
Her breath hitches.
Oh. Maybe she’s interested. Yes. Let’s do this. My decision is made.
“Come,” I offer, holding out my hand.
“What?”
“We’re going to rectify the situation right now.”
“What do you mean? What situation?”
“Your situation. Ana, I’m going to make love to you, now.”
“Oh.”
“That’s if you want to. I mean, I don’t want to push my luck.”
“I thought you didn’t make love. I thought you fucked hard,” she says, her voice husky and so damned seductive, her eyes wide, pupils dilating. She’s flushed with desire—she wants this, too.
And a wholly unexpected thrill unfurls inside me. “I can make an exception, or maybe combine the two, we’ll see. I really want to make love to you. Please, come to bed with me. I want our arrangement to work, but you really need to have some idea what you’re getting yourself into. We can start your training tonight—with the basics. This doesn’t mean I’ve come over all hearts and flowers—it’s a means to an end, but one that I want, and hopefully you do, too.” The words rush out in a torrent.
Grey! Get ahold of yourself.
Her cheeks pink.
Come on, Ana, yes or no. I’m dying here.
“But I haven’t done all the things you require from your list of rules.” Her voice is timid. Is she afraid? I hope not. I don’t want her to be afraid.
“Forget about the rules. Forget about all those details for tonight. I want you. I’ve wanted you since you fell into my office, and I know you want me. You wouldn’t be sitting here calmly discussing punishment and hard limits if you didn’t. Please, Ana, spend the night with me.”