For a long time they sat in silence, enjoying the clean air, clear sky and hot mugs in their hands. Finally it was Lief who said, “This is a wonderful, artistic house—the growing, painting, creating in the kitchen…”
“And beautiful,” Kelly confirmed.
“Will you stay awhile?”
She shrugged before she said, “Jill and Colin are kind of new together. They’ve only been a couple since summer. I don’t want to cramp their style, if you get my drift.”
“You think they need privacy,” he said.
“All new couples need privacy.”
“I don’t know about Jill, but Colin seems to enjoy having you in the kitchen.”
“Don’t get me wrong, no one is making me feel like I should move on. But I’m thirty-three—and I don’t want to live with my sister for the rest of my life. I need a little time to get over—” She stopped to think. Get over La Touche? San Francisco? Luca? Her disastrous treadmill? “I think a brief vacation is in order. Then I’d better get on with things.”
“Well… I hope it isn’t too brief,” he said. “I wouldn’t mind a chance to get to know you better.”
She chuckled. “That almost sounded like a flirt. From a Disney kind of guy…?”
He turned in his chair to look at her. “Is that how I seem?”
“Isn’t it what you said? Movies for families? Disney comes to mind…”
He smiled just slightly. “And you?” he asked. “Betty Crocker?”
“Ack! Please!” she said. But then she laughed. “All right, all right. I shouldn’t make rash judgments. I’ll be here for at least a couple of weeks, and that’s if finding my next position is very easy.”
“After eating your dinner tonight, not to mention the pie, I’m sure you’re going to find the next gig pretty quick.” He took a sip of his coffee, then glanced at his watch. “I should go. I have to pick up Courtney before she wears out her welcome. It’s her first visit to her friend’s house.”
“You act like you can’t trust her at all,” Kelly observed.
“I can’t. Like I said, she’s had a real struggle since her mom died.” He stood. “But we’ll get through this, one way or another. A normal girlfriend from an average family could go a long way to helping that effort.”
Kelly stood also. “Is this her first normal friend?”
“Her name is Amber. I talked to her folks to be sure the after-school and dinner invitation was cool with them. They’re farmers with three grown and married sons and grandchildren. I got the impression Amber is the caboose—an afterthought, maybe. Courtney describes her as kind of dorky but nice. A couple of nights ago I left her alone for two hours and went home to find her with a seventeen-year-old guy who brought beer and was liberating the DVDs from my entertainment center while Courtney was in the bathroom.” He smiled just slightly. “Dorky Amber sounds like a dream come true.”
“Lord above!”
“Yeah, one thing after another,” he lamented. “But imagine losing your mother at only eleven years old.”
“I lost my parents pretty young,” Kelly said. “I understand that it can be hard. But I have to admit, I know almost nothing about kids. Especially teenagers.”
“Have you thought about having a family?” he asked.
She shrugged. “Not really. I always thought the subject might come up if I ever met the right guy.”
“You thought you had,” he reminded her.
“Uh-huh—and he was fifty years old with five grown children. The thought that I wouldn’t have children never even bothered me. Being a mother was never a driving urge.” Then she smiled. “I wanted a restaurant.”
He smiled back. “They probably don’t talk back as much.”
“Oh, you don’t know restaurants!”
“It was really nice of you to invite me to stay, even though I dropped in without notice. I enjoyed myself. And the food…” He rolled his eyes skyward. “I like to cook, but I’d be embarrassed in front of you.”
“We’ll get you over that. Take a pie to dorky Amber’s house as a thank-you. Maybe we can get Courtney invited back, free you up for an encore meal.”
“I’ll take you up on that. I admit, I need all the help I can get.”
Lief and Kelly passed through the kitchen. When they gathered up a pie for Amber’s parents, Lief scored one for himself, as well. He said good-night to Jill and Colin, and they each carried a pie out the front door. Lief opened the passenger door and put the pies on the floor of the truck, suggesting that as the safest place. Then he closed the door to face her. She put out her hand to say good-night.
He took the hand, pulled and brought her into his embrace. Turning with her in his arms, he pressed her up against the closed door of the truck and, for just one blissful moment, held her there. “God,” he said, feeling everything he thought he might feel if he could hold her body against his. Plush, erotic, sweet. He put a finger under her chin to lift it, then kissed her—just a brief kiss. Her eyes were round and large, watching his. So he went for it, covering her mouth in a powerful kiss, a penetrating kiss. He urged her lips open; ah, she was delicious. And when he felt her arms come around him to keep him close, the arms of this brokenhearted woman, he tasted victory, as well. His desire escalated and suffused his entire being.
He moved his lips just a fraction of an inch from hers. “You taste even better than the pie.”
“Wow,” she said. “Nothing Disney about you.”
He plunged his fingers into her silky blond hair, tilting her head back so her mouth was slightly open and ready. He took that mouth once more, amazed by how natural it felt. When he pulled away, he said, “That was the point I hoped to make. Is tomorrow too soon to see you again?”
She shook her head, her eyes still round.
“Good.” He gave her another short kiss.
“I’m working on blackberries,” she said a little breathlessly.
He smiled at her. “I’ll see you sometime tomorrow. No 1950s Betty Crocker about you.”
She grinned at him. “Toldja.”
Courtney’s dinner experience at the Hawkinses was very different from those she had at home with Lief. Amber’s older brother, Rory’s dad, came to dinner with another of his kids because his wife was working. It was a pretty full and loud table, and the food was more country than she got at home—pork chops, mashed potatoes with dark gravy and greens. She never got gravy at home—Lief used a minimum of fats in his cooking.
Courtney was seated next to Hawk, and he was in her business the whole time. While she was putting the gravy on her mashed potatoes, he leaned over, pointed and said, “You missed a spot.” When she passed on the greens he said, “You’re gonna want to try those.”
“Because they’re vegetables?” she asked.
“Naw. You can get your vitamins from ice cream for all I care. Because they’re good. Nothing in the world like Sinette’s greens.” He put a small dollop on her plate. “First off, she grows ’em. Then, she makes ’em with bacon grease and garlic. Have one tiny taste, then if you pass on ’em, you can have more potatoes.”
That made her lift her eyebrows. It wasn’t like If you don’t eat your vegetables, no dessert. The greens were delicious.
“There,” he said. “Know what I’m talking about, don’t I?”
After dinner and dessert, Amber and Courtney finished up their homework from other classes. It was the first time Courtney had all her homework done, and done well, since school had started the end of August.
Then Lief came, bearing gifts. “A friend of mine made ten rhubarb pies today and a couple came my way. This is for you,” he said, putting it in Sinette’s hands. “She—my friend—said to try it and if your rhubarb pie is better, she’ll need a recipe exchange.”
Sinette laughed. “Well, she better be at the top of her game because my recipe came from my grandmother!”
So Lief asked Amber’s parents how homework had gone when what Courtney believed he meant was, Was Courtney bad? Did Courtney make trouble?
“I think they’re all caught up and Amber said it helped. She’s had a time with that algebra!”
In the car on the way home, Courtney said, “So, who is this friend?”
“Huh?” Lief asked.
“This friend who made ten pies?”
“Oh,” he said. “Her name is Kelly and she’s a chef from the Bay Area. She’s visiting her sister and invited me to dinner.” He looked over at her and grinned. “Since my usual date was busy, I accepted and got a pie out of the deal.”
“Oh. And so are you dating now?”
“Not yet,” he said. “Do you think life could be that kind?”
“You’re saying you want to date?”
“Why don’t you ask me what you really want to ask me, Courtney. Stop beating around the bush.”
“If you’re so smart, what do I want to ask you?”
He sighed. “No, I am not over your mother—I miss Lana every day. And yes, I would like to have another adult relationship in my lifetime—I’m lonely. And no, no one will ever be more important than your mother. Or, for that matter, than you. I promise you I won’t be less of a father if I ever get lucky enough to actually have a girlfriend at some point.”
She thought about that for a moment. She wasn’t sure how he did that—answered every question she wasn’t sure how to ask. So she said, “Like I care.”
Five
Kelly had only been in her sister’s house for a short time, but things began to change for her in small but meaningful ways almost immediately. It all began with a cooking show. She hooked up her very small, portable kitchen TV on the counter so she could see it while she cooked. Of course the very first program she viewed was Luciano Brazzi’s Dining In. While she peeled and cut up apples to can some applesauce, Luca was preparing his famous eggplant rollatini. She watched his handsome face, his playful and engaging manner as he dipped the eggplant slices in beaten egg, then seasoned bread crumbs, then Parmesan… He joked with his pretty kitchen helper; his hands smooth and confident; his white teeth gleaming against his tanned skin, his robust laugh so seductive. He was at ease, comfortable, at peace, self-assured. Clearly he was not suffering from a broken heart.
She began to cry, and then, before the rollatini went in the oven, she was sobbing. He was perfectly fine! The man did not have a trouble in the world. He wasn’t lonely or depressed or suffering with the misery of longing. If there was anything to get over, he’d gotten over it.
He opened one of those famous jars with his face on it, Brazzi Spaghetti Sauce, warmed it and poured it over the whole magnificent meal and that was it. “You bastard,” she screamed right to his televised face. “You led me on, made promises to show me opportunities and sent your wife to deal with me! As if I were a common tramp you had bored of.” She sniffed, blew her nose and said, “I am so done!”
To which the TV responded, “And that is my eggplant rollatini! Brava! And ciao my bellas!”
“Ciao, dickwad,” she said, turning off the TV.
Then things improved daily, if not hourly. No pressure; no crazy kitchen to go back to, and the relief in this was magnificent. And though three of them shared the house, everyone went their own way. Jill spent almost all her time either outside or at her computer in her office while Colin was either prowling around the mountains with his camera or painting upstairs in the sunroom. It was the first time Kelly could remember feeling freedom like this. Even on past visits or vacations she’d constantly been thinking about getting back to the grind and was usually worried about some work-related issue.
“And beautiful,” Kelly confirmed.
“Will you stay awhile?”
She shrugged before she said, “Jill and Colin are kind of new together. They’ve only been a couple since summer. I don’t want to cramp their style, if you get my drift.”
“You think they need privacy,” he said.
“All new couples need privacy.”
“I don’t know about Jill, but Colin seems to enjoy having you in the kitchen.”
“Don’t get me wrong, no one is making me feel like I should move on. But I’m thirty-three—and I don’t want to live with my sister for the rest of my life. I need a little time to get over—” She stopped to think. Get over La Touche? San Francisco? Luca? Her disastrous treadmill? “I think a brief vacation is in order. Then I’d better get on with things.”
“Well… I hope it isn’t too brief,” he said. “I wouldn’t mind a chance to get to know you better.”
She chuckled. “That almost sounded like a flirt. From a Disney kind of guy…?”
He turned in his chair to look at her. “Is that how I seem?”
“Isn’t it what you said? Movies for families? Disney comes to mind…”
He smiled just slightly. “And you?” he asked. “Betty Crocker?”
“Ack! Please!” she said. But then she laughed. “All right, all right. I shouldn’t make rash judgments. I’ll be here for at least a couple of weeks, and that’s if finding my next position is very easy.”
“After eating your dinner tonight, not to mention the pie, I’m sure you’re going to find the next gig pretty quick.” He took a sip of his coffee, then glanced at his watch. “I should go. I have to pick up Courtney before she wears out her welcome. It’s her first visit to her friend’s house.”
“You act like you can’t trust her at all,” Kelly observed.
“I can’t. Like I said, she’s had a real struggle since her mom died.” He stood. “But we’ll get through this, one way or another. A normal girlfriend from an average family could go a long way to helping that effort.”
Kelly stood also. “Is this her first normal friend?”
“Her name is Amber. I talked to her folks to be sure the after-school and dinner invitation was cool with them. They’re farmers with three grown and married sons and grandchildren. I got the impression Amber is the caboose—an afterthought, maybe. Courtney describes her as kind of dorky but nice. A couple of nights ago I left her alone for two hours and went home to find her with a seventeen-year-old guy who brought beer and was liberating the DVDs from my entertainment center while Courtney was in the bathroom.” He smiled just slightly. “Dorky Amber sounds like a dream come true.”
“Lord above!”
“Yeah, one thing after another,” he lamented. “But imagine losing your mother at only eleven years old.”
“I lost my parents pretty young,” Kelly said. “I understand that it can be hard. But I have to admit, I know almost nothing about kids. Especially teenagers.”
“Have you thought about having a family?” he asked.
She shrugged. “Not really. I always thought the subject might come up if I ever met the right guy.”
“You thought you had,” he reminded her.
“Uh-huh—and he was fifty years old with five grown children. The thought that I wouldn’t have children never even bothered me. Being a mother was never a driving urge.” Then she smiled. “I wanted a restaurant.”
He smiled back. “They probably don’t talk back as much.”
“Oh, you don’t know restaurants!”
“It was really nice of you to invite me to stay, even though I dropped in without notice. I enjoyed myself. And the food…” He rolled his eyes skyward. “I like to cook, but I’d be embarrassed in front of you.”
“We’ll get you over that. Take a pie to dorky Amber’s house as a thank-you. Maybe we can get Courtney invited back, free you up for an encore meal.”
“I’ll take you up on that. I admit, I need all the help I can get.”
Lief and Kelly passed through the kitchen. When they gathered up a pie for Amber’s parents, Lief scored one for himself, as well. He said good-night to Jill and Colin, and they each carried a pie out the front door. Lief opened the passenger door and put the pies on the floor of the truck, suggesting that as the safest place. Then he closed the door to face her. She put out her hand to say good-night.
He took the hand, pulled and brought her into his embrace. Turning with her in his arms, he pressed her up against the closed door of the truck and, for just one blissful moment, held her there. “God,” he said, feeling everything he thought he might feel if he could hold her body against his. Plush, erotic, sweet. He put a finger under her chin to lift it, then kissed her—just a brief kiss. Her eyes were round and large, watching his. So he went for it, covering her mouth in a powerful kiss, a penetrating kiss. He urged her lips open; ah, she was delicious. And when he felt her arms come around him to keep him close, the arms of this brokenhearted woman, he tasted victory, as well. His desire escalated and suffused his entire being.
He moved his lips just a fraction of an inch from hers. “You taste even better than the pie.”
“Wow,” she said. “Nothing Disney about you.”
He plunged his fingers into her silky blond hair, tilting her head back so her mouth was slightly open and ready. He took that mouth once more, amazed by how natural it felt. When he pulled away, he said, “That was the point I hoped to make. Is tomorrow too soon to see you again?”
She shook her head, her eyes still round.
“Good.” He gave her another short kiss.
“I’m working on blackberries,” she said a little breathlessly.
He smiled at her. “I’ll see you sometime tomorrow. No 1950s Betty Crocker about you.”
She grinned at him. “Toldja.”
Courtney’s dinner experience at the Hawkinses was very different from those she had at home with Lief. Amber’s older brother, Rory’s dad, came to dinner with another of his kids because his wife was working. It was a pretty full and loud table, and the food was more country than she got at home—pork chops, mashed potatoes with dark gravy and greens. She never got gravy at home—Lief used a minimum of fats in his cooking.
Courtney was seated next to Hawk, and he was in her business the whole time. While she was putting the gravy on her mashed potatoes, he leaned over, pointed and said, “You missed a spot.” When she passed on the greens he said, “You’re gonna want to try those.”
“Because they’re vegetables?” she asked.
“Naw. You can get your vitamins from ice cream for all I care. Because they’re good. Nothing in the world like Sinette’s greens.” He put a small dollop on her plate. “First off, she grows ’em. Then, she makes ’em with bacon grease and garlic. Have one tiny taste, then if you pass on ’em, you can have more potatoes.”
That made her lift her eyebrows. It wasn’t like If you don’t eat your vegetables, no dessert. The greens were delicious.
“There,” he said. “Know what I’m talking about, don’t I?”
After dinner and dessert, Amber and Courtney finished up their homework from other classes. It was the first time Courtney had all her homework done, and done well, since school had started the end of August.
Then Lief came, bearing gifts. “A friend of mine made ten rhubarb pies today and a couple came my way. This is for you,” he said, putting it in Sinette’s hands. “She—my friend—said to try it and if your rhubarb pie is better, she’ll need a recipe exchange.”
Sinette laughed. “Well, she better be at the top of her game because my recipe came from my grandmother!”
So Lief asked Amber’s parents how homework had gone when what Courtney believed he meant was, Was Courtney bad? Did Courtney make trouble?
“I think they’re all caught up and Amber said it helped. She’s had a time with that algebra!”
In the car on the way home, Courtney said, “So, who is this friend?”
“Huh?” Lief asked.
“This friend who made ten pies?”
“Oh,” he said. “Her name is Kelly and she’s a chef from the Bay Area. She’s visiting her sister and invited me to dinner.” He looked over at her and grinned. “Since my usual date was busy, I accepted and got a pie out of the deal.”
“Oh. And so are you dating now?”
“Not yet,” he said. “Do you think life could be that kind?”
“You’re saying you want to date?”
“Why don’t you ask me what you really want to ask me, Courtney. Stop beating around the bush.”
“If you’re so smart, what do I want to ask you?”
He sighed. “No, I am not over your mother—I miss Lana every day. And yes, I would like to have another adult relationship in my lifetime—I’m lonely. And no, no one will ever be more important than your mother. Or, for that matter, than you. I promise you I won’t be less of a father if I ever get lucky enough to actually have a girlfriend at some point.”
She thought about that for a moment. She wasn’t sure how he did that—answered every question she wasn’t sure how to ask. So she said, “Like I care.”
Five
Kelly had only been in her sister’s house for a short time, but things began to change for her in small but meaningful ways almost immediately. It all began with a cooking show. She hooked up her very small, portable kitchen TV on the counter so she could see it while she cooked. Of course the very first program she viewed was Luciano Brazzi’s Dining In. While she peeled and cut up apples to can some applesauce, Luca was preparing his famous eggplant rollatini. She watched his handsome face, his playful and engaging manner as he dipped the eggplant slices in beaten egg, then seasoned bread crumbs, then Parmesan… He joked with his pretty kitchen helper; his hands smooth and confident; his white teeth gleaming against his tanned skin, his robust laugh so seductive. He was at ease, comfortable, at peace, self-assured. Clearly he was not suffering from a broken heart.
She began to cry, and then, before the rollatini went in the oven, she was sobbing. He was perfectly fine! The man did not have a trouble in the world. He wasn’t lonely or depressed or suffering with the misery of longing. If there was anything to get over, he’d gotten over it.
He opened one of those famous jars with his face on it, Brazzi Spaghetti Sauce, warmed it and poured it over the whole magnificent meal and that was it. “You bastard,” she screamed right to his televised face. “You led me on, made promises to show me opportunities and sent your wife to deal with me! As if I were a common tramp you had bored of.” She sniffed, blew her nose and said, “I am so done!”
To which the TV responded, “And that is my eggplant rollatini! Brava! And ciao my bellas!”
“Ciao, dickwad,” she said, turning off the TV.
Then things improved daily, if not hourly. No pressure; no crazy kitchen to go back to, and the relief in this was magnificent. And though three of them shared the house, everyone went their own way. Jill spent almost all her time either outside or at her computer in her office while Colin was either prowling around the mountains with his camera or painting upstairs in the sunroom. It was the first time Kelly could remember feeling freedom like this. Even on past visits or vacations she’d constantly been thinking about getting back to the grind and was usually worried about some work-related issue.
