Hearts of Blue
Page 69
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“That’s not the same thing.”
“Oh, it’s not? Do you have any idea the kind of disgusting shit Carl and his boys get up to? Gang rapes, violent attacks, muggings, intimidation, you name it. You heard about those drugs that’ve been going around? The ones that teenagers were overdosing on?” He paused to eye me pointedly. “He’s threatened people at gunpoint. He’s beaten people half to death, and he still gets to walk the streets like he’s king of his own little empire. I think you’ll find it’s exactly the same thing.”
“So, you started the fight as what, some kind of vigilante form of justice?” Tony put in cynically, and I suddenly remembered we weren’t alone. I also felt awful, because Carl had threatened me and I’d let him away with it. If I’d arrested him that day, then maybe I could’ve saved a few of the people Lee had spoken about. The thought made me wither with guilt. I hated to admit it, but what he’d told me was true. The world wasn’t all black and white, and I was starting to realise that a lot of my beliefs could be turned upside down when I took in another person’s perspective.
“Did I say I started a fight?” Lee asked. “Because I’m fairly sure I didn’t.”
“All right, well, let’s talk about the drugs, then. Can you give us any more details?” said Tony. “If you have information, we can work together to have him charged.”
Lee shook his head as he let out a derisive chuckle. “Do I look like a fucking mug to you? Jesus Christ, pull the other one.”
“You offered up the information. I was just curious to know more,” Tony replied. He was being nice, playing good cop. Did that mean I was bad cop? No, I didn’t think so, not with the amount of feelings that were swirling around inside me for the criminal on the other side of the table.
The radio of the officer standing by the door went off, calling him away on an errand. He told Tony he’d be back as quick as he could before leaving the room. With him gone, the place felt oddly smaller. I sensed movement under table as Lee stretched out his leg, his shoe knocking against mine.
Immediately withdrawing my foot, I narrowed my eyes at him and willed him not to do anything that might make Tony suspicious. I wanted to ask him if he’d started the fight only for me, or if he’d done it because of the other things Carl was guilty of. I wanted to tell him that I was sorry for ending things between us, but that it couldn’t be helped. But most of all I wanted to take him in my arms and tell him violence wasn’t ever a solution. I wanted to show him what the world could be like without it.
In reality, I’d never get to do any of that, because there would always be a divide. The thin blue line would always lie between us, with me on the side of order and him on the side of chaos.
“Have you seen a nurse for your injuries?” I asked, the tenderness in my voice unexpected. Tony shot me a curious look while Lee shook his head.
“My health doesn’t factor very high on the list of priorities where the old bill are concerned, but thanks for asking.”
“Well, how do you feel? Are you hurt anywhere we can’t see?”
Lee’s chin rose as his eyes twinkled mischievously. “Why don’t you come a little closer and take a look, Constable?”
“Don’t be cute.” On the outside I sounded stern, while on the inside I was pleading with him to let me know he was okay. I remembered back to the time when Steve beat him up. He’d tried to hide his injuries from me then, too. I continued staring at him until his expression softened.
“I’m fine. Nothing a hot bath and a few beers won’t fix.”
His answer relieved me. Tony cleared his throat and addressed me formally. “Constable, can I speak with you outside for a moment?”
I glanced at him and nodded. “Sure.” Rising from my seat, I frantically wondered if I’d done anything to give myself away. Had I shown too much affection when talking to Lee? I couldn’t tell.
As soon as we were outside and the door was closed, Tony eyed me speculatively. “Are you feeling okay?”
I shrugged. “Yeah. No different from usual.”
“You’re acting strangely. Why all the questions in there? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say there was something you’re not telling me.”
Every muscle in my body coiled tight, and I suddenly realised how transparent I was being. I never expressed concern over a suspect’s health, not in the way I had with Lee. I also never lost my cool in interviews, or acted like I had a personal investment in the crime being investigated. Tony knew me well enough to know something was fishy.
“Well, now that I think of it, I am having a bit of an off day. I didn’t get much sleep last night,” I lied in an effort to explain my behaviour.
Tony let out a slow breath. “You’re sure that’s all it is?”
“Very sure.”
“Right, well, it doesn’t look like young Mr Cross is going to give us anything we can work with. Can you escort him to a holding cell until his solicitor gets here? I’m going to bring another of the men in for questioning.”
“Of course, I’ll do that right away,” I said, turning to go back inside the interview room.
Sixteen
Lee looked up as soon as I entered, glancing behind me to see if I was alone. He seemed different now that Tony was gone, less cocky and more concerned. Even his voice was different when he spoke, softer.
“Oh, it’s not? Do you have any idea the kind of disgusting shit Carl and his boys get up to? Gang rapes, violent attacks, muggings, intimidation, you name it. You heard about those drugs that’ve been going around? The ones that teenagers were overdosing on?” He paused to eye me pointedly. “He’s threatened people at gunpoint. He’s beaten people half to death, and he still gets to walk the streets like he’s king of his own little empire. I think you’ll find it’s exactly the same thing.”
“So, you started the fight as what, some kind of vigilante form of justice?” Tony put in cynically, and I suddenly remembered we weren’t alone. I also felt awful, because Carl had threatened me and I’d let him away with it. If I’d arrested him that day, then maybe I could’ve saved a few of the people Lee had spoken about. The thought made me wither with guilt. I hated to admit it, but what he’d told me was true. The world wasn’t all black and white, and I was starting to realise that a lot of my beliefs could be turned upside down when I took in another person’s perspective.
“Did I say I started a fight?” Lee asked. “Because I’m fairly sure I didn’t.”
“All right, well, let’s talk about the drugs, then. Can you give us any more details?” said Tony. “If you have information, we can work together to have him charged.”
Lee shook his head as he let out a derisive chuckle. “Do I look like a fucking mug to you? Jesus Christ, pull the other one.”
“You offered up the information. I was just curious to know more,” Tony replied. He was being nice, playing good cop. Did that mean I was bad cop? No, I didn’t think so, not with the amount of feelings that were swirling around inside me for the criminal on the other side of the table.
The radio of the officer standing by the door went off, calling him away on an errand. He told Tony he’d be back as quick as he could before leaving the room. With him gone, the place felt oddly smaller. I sensed movement under table as Lee stretched out his leg, his shoe knocking against mine.
Immediately withdrawing my foot, I narrowed my eyes at him and willed him not to do anything that might make Tony suspicious. I wanted to ask him if he’d started the fight only for me, or if he’d done it because of the other things Carl was guilty of. I wanted to tell him that I was sorry for ending things between us, but that it couldn’t be helped. But most of all I wanted to take him in my arms and tell him violence wasn’t ever a solution. I wanted to show him what the world could be like without it.
In reality, I’d never get to do any of that, because there would always be a divide. The thin blue line would always lie between us, with me on the side of order and him on the side of chaos.
“Have you seen a nurse for your injuries?” I asked, the tenderness in my voice unexpected. Tony shot me a curious look while Lee shook his head.
“My health doesn’t factor very high on the list of priorities where the old bill are concerned, but thanks for asking.”
“Well, how do you feel? Are you hurt anywhere we can’t see?”
Lee’s chin rose as his eyes twinkled mischievously. “Why don’t you come a little closer and take a look, Constable?”
“Don’t be cute.” On the outside I sounded stern, while on the inside I was pleading with him to let me know he was okay. I remembered back to the time when Steve beat him up. He’d tried to hide his injuries from me then, too. I continued staring at him until his expression softened.
“I’m fine. Nothing a hot bath and a few beers won’t fix.”
His answer relieved me. Tony cleared his throat and addressed me formally. “Constable, can I speak with you outside for a moment?”
I glanced at him and nodded. “Sure.” Rising from my seat, I frantically wondered if I’d done anything to give myself away. Had I shown too much affection when talking to Lee? I couldn’t tell.
As soon as we were outside and the door was closed, Tony eyed me speculatively. “Are you feeling okay?”
I shrugged. “Yeah. No different from usual.”
“You’re acting strangely. Why all the questions in there? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say there was something you’re not telling me.”
Every muscle in my body coiled tight, and I suddenly realised how transparent I was being. I never expressed concern over a suspect’s health, not in the way I had with Lee. I also never lost my cool in interviews, or acted like I had a personal investment in the crime being investigated. Tony knew me well enough to know something was fishy.
“Well, now that I think of it, I am having a bit of an off day. I didn’t get much sleep last night,” I lied in an effort to explain my behaviour.
Tony let out a slow breath. “You’re sure that’s all it is?”
“Very sure.”
“Right, well, it doesn’t look like young Mr Cross is going to give us anything we can work with. Can you escort him to a holding cell until his solicitor gets here? I’m going to bring another of the men in for questioning.”
“Of course, I’ll do that right away,” I said, turning to go back inside the interview room.
Sixteen
Lee looked up as soon as I entered, glancing behind me to see if I was alone. He seemed different now that Tony was gone, less cocky and more concerned. Even his voice was different when he spoke, softer.
