Hearts of Blue
Page 87
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I was on the late shift, just about to take a break, when I pulled out my phone to check if I had any missed calls. Glancing at the screen and seeing Lee’s name caused everything inside of me to spiral out of control. Every painful feeling of heartache returned in an instant, just from looking at his name. Before I could delve too deeply into what that meant, my phone started ringing again.
With a shaking hand I answered it, lifting the phone to my ear, my voice scratchy. “Uh, hello?”
“Karla, thank fuck. Listen, you need to get yourself down the hospital. Alexis has gone into labour,” he told me urgently.
All at once my heart did a somersault, half in panic, half in excitement. I hadn’t been expecting this, because she wasn’t due for at least another ten days. The baby was coming early. “What…uh, I mean, why are you calling?”
“She couldn’t get through to you and her dad’s at work. She called me to drive her to the hospital.”
I was already on the move, mouthing the words “Alexis” and “Baby” at Tony, so he knew where I was going. He nodded and motioned for me to run. I knew he’d cover for me until I could get back.
“Okay, well, I’m on my way. I’ll be there in a few minutes,” I said, then heard someone moaning in the background, and it wasn’t a moan of pleasure. “Are you in the delivery room?” I asked with a jolt.
Lee’s voice held a hint of humour, but mostly he sounded stressed. “She won’t let me leave until you get here, and I’d appreciate it if you hurried, because she’s doing a good job of cutting off the blood supply to my hand right now.”
I laughed, a high-pitched, airy sound, as I slid into a patrol car and put my foot on the gas. I even turned on the sirens, and Lee chuckled when he heard them. “Such a little rule-breaker.”
I smirked at his comment and hung up the phone. I was on an adrenaline rush, not only because the baby was coming, but also because I hadn’t spoken to Lee in months, and his voice alone had the ability to excite me.
When I arrived at the hospital, I rushed through the corridors, following the signs for the maternity ward. The place was like a maze, and it felt like it took forever for me to find the delivery room. Still in my full police uniform, I burst inside, all eyes turning to me as I stood there, breathless.
“I’m here,” I announced dumbly, seeing Lee standing next to Alexis, who sure enough was gripping his hand like her life depended on it. Her face was red and sweaty, but it was etched with relief when she saw me, and she finally let go of Lee. He walked toward me, his eyes drinking me in like he hadn’t seen me in years. Levelling his palms on my shoulders, he whispered, “Take care of her,” and then he was gone.
I hurried to my best friend’s side, lifted the hand Lee had just been holding, and began taking deep breaths right alongside her.
Twenty-One
Oliver was born at 6:12 a.m. He was ten days premature, had a tuft of blond hair, and weighed just under six and a half pounds. Both mother and baby were healthy and sleeping when I quietly left the room, feeling exhausted but happy. Finding the ladies’, I splashed some water on my face, washed my hands, and did my best to fix my hair.
I planned to go home and take a shower, get some sleep, then collect some things to bring back for Alexis. When I stepped out and went to check on her one last time, I saw Lee sitting on a chair in the corridor. The empty space between us felt vast, though in reality it was nothing. I wanted to bridge the gap and run away all at the same time.
“You’re still here,” I said, standing before him.
He looked up, his eyes tired, and smiled. “I was waiting for you.”
“Did you hear the news?”
Lee nodded. “Just spoke to one of the nurses. Healthy baby boy. I’m made up for her.”
Not knowing why, I sat down beside him, staring at the wall in front of us like it held the answers to questions I hadn’t asked yet. “It was so scary, being in there with her, not knowing how everything was going to turn out.” I didn’t voice the fact that it was also kind of sad, because I knew I’d never experience that for myself, would never get to hold my own baby in my arms. But I could hold hers, watch him grow up, and that was enough. It would have to be.
Lee shot me a look of compassion, like he sensed what I was thinking. He was one of the few people who knew I couldn’t have children, and I remembered his words from months ago.
We’re stronger in the places that we’ve been broken.
Our time together had broken parts of both of us, but were we stronger there now? Was there a patch of soil within us, with the capability of growing something new? I didn’t know.
A silence fell between us, and I wasn’t sure how to act around him. Since we hadn’t seen each other in so long, there was a tension, like we were strangers again, but not. I watched as he laced his fingers together, staring at the work-roughened skin and trying not to succumb to the memory of how it used to feel when he touched me.
“How’ve you been?” he asked, breaking the quiet.
I slid my gaze to his. “Good. I’ve been keeping busy. Got my sergeant’s exam coming up next week.”
His eyebrows rose as he teased, “Sergeant, eh, moving up in the world, are we?”
“Something like that.”
“Well, I think it’s great. The more people like you they have in the police, the better.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “What? Constables who use their sirens so they can skip traffic and get to the hospital in time for their best friend to give birth?”
With a shaking hand I answered it, lifting the phone to my ear, my voice scratchy. “Uh, hello?”
“Karla, thank fuck. Listen, you need to get yourself down the hospital. Alexis has gone into labour,” he told me urgently.
All at once my heart did a somersault, half in panic, half in excitement. I hadn’t been expecting this, because she wasn’t due for at least another ten days. The baby was coming early. “What…uh, I mean, why are you calling?”
“She couldn’t get through to you and her dad’s at work. She called me to drive her to the hospital.”
I was already on the move, mouthing the words “Alexis” and “Baby” at Tony, so he knew where I was going. He nodded and motioned for me to run. I knew he’d cover for me until I could get back.
“Okay, well, I’m on my way. I’ll be there in a few minutes,” I said, then heard someone moaning in the background, and it wasn’t a moan of pleasure. “Are you in the delivery room?” I asked with a jolt.
Lee’s voice held a hint of humour, but mostly he sounded stressed. “She won’t let me leave until you get here, and I’d appreciate it if you hurried, because she’s doing a good job of cutting off the blood supply to my hand right now.”
I laughed, a high-pitched, airy sound, as I slid into a patrol car and put my foot on the gas. I even turned on the sirens, and Lee chuckled when he heard them. “Such a little rule-breaker.”
I smirked at his comment and hung up the phone. I was on an adrenaline rush, not only because the baby was coming, but also because I hadn’t spoken to Lee in months, and his voice alone had the ability to excite me.
When I arrived at the hospital, I rushed through the corridors, following the signs for the maternity ward. The place was like a maze, and it felt like it took forever for me to find the delivery room. Still in my full police uniform, I burst inside, all eyes turning to me as I stood there, breathless.
“I’m here,” I announced dumbly, seeing Lee standing next to Alexis, who sure enough was gripping his hand like her life depended on it. Her face was red and sweaty, but it was etched with relief when she saw me, and she finally let go of Lee. He walked toward me, his eyes drinking me in like he hadn’t seen me in years. Levelling his palms on my shoulders, he whispered, “Take care of her,” and then he was gone.
I hurried to my best friend’s side, lifted the hand Lee had just been holding, and began taking deep breaths right alongside her.
Twenty-One
Oliver was born at 6:12 a.m. He was ten days premature, had a tuft of blond hair, and weighed just under six and a half pounds. Both mother and baby were healthy and sleeping when I quietly left the room, feeling exhausted but happy. Finding the ladies’, I splashed some water on my face, washed my hands, and did my best to fix my hair.
I planned to go home and take a shower, get some sleep, then collect some things to bring back for Alexis. When I stepped out and went to check on her one last time, I saw Lee sitting on a chair in the corridor. The empty space between us felt vast, though in reality it was nothing. I wanted to bridge the gap and run away all at the same time.
“You’re still here,” I said, standing before him.
He looked up, his eyes tired, and smiled. “I was waiting for you.”
“Did you hear the news?”
Lee nodded. “Just spoke to one of the nurses. Healthy baby boy. I’m made up for her.”
Not knowing why, I sat down beside him, staring at the wall in front of us like it held the answers to questions I hadn’t asked yet. “It was so scary, being in there with her, not knowing how everything was going to turn out.” I didn’t voice the fact that it was also kind of sad, because I knew I’d never experience that for myself, would never get to hold my own baby in my arms. But I could hold hers, watch him grow up, and that was enough. It would have to be.
Lee shot me a look of compassion, like he sensed what I was thinking. He was one of the few people who knew I couldn’t have children, and I remembered his words from months ago.
We’re stronger in the places that we’ve been broken.
Our time together had broken parts of both of us, but were we stronger there now? Was there a patch of soil within us, with the capability of growing something new? I didn’t know.
A silence fell between us, and I wasn’t sure how to act around him. Since we hadn’t seen each other in so long, there was a tension, like we were strangers again, but not. I watched as he laced his fingers together, staring at the work-roughened skin and trying not to succumb to the memory of how it used to feel when he touched me.
“How’ve you been?” he asked, breaking the quiet.
I slid my gaze to his. “Good. I’ve been keeping busy. Got my sergeant’s exam coming up next week.”
His eyebrows rose as he teased, “Sergeant, eh, moving up in the world, are we?”
“Something like that.”
“Well, I think it’s great. The more people like you they have in the police, the better.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “What? Constables who use their sirens so they can skip traffic and get to the hospital in time for their best friend to give birth?”
