Heaven and Earth
Page 44

“So do you. You’re like two pieces of the same puzzle. What caused the rift between you?”
“It’s old news.”
“No, it’s not. She hurt and you bled for her. I watched you. Now you’d protect her if you could.” He picked up two of his bags, straightened. “You’re the same with Nell. You’re a shield for those who matter to you. Who stands for you, Ripley?”
“I can take care of myself.”
“I don’t doubt it, but that’s not the point. They stand for you, and that’s what you don’t quite know how to handle.”
“You don’t know me well enough to know what I can handle.”
“I’ve known you all my life.”
She reached out to stop him before he walked outside again. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“I asked you once about your dreams. One day, I’ll tell you about mine.”
He’d put dreams in her mind, that’s what she told herself even as she was sucked into them. Knowing it was a dream didn’t stop the action.
She was on the beach with a storm charging in like a runaway train. And the storm was her fury. There were others with her, shadows and lights. Love, and the barbed trap of its opposite. A bolt sliced out of the sky, a silver blade that cleaved the earth in two. The world around her was madness, and the taste of it wildly tempting.
The choice is yours, now and always.
Power snapped. And stung.
The choice, now and always. She could reach out, clasp the hand that beckoned, that offered a bridge to the light. Or she could stay in the dark and feed.
She was hungry.
Ripley awoke weeping, with images of destruction still reeling in her mind. Eleven
She rarely sought counsel. In her experience advice was never easy to swallow. But the dream had broken her back.
Half a dozen times during the day she’d nearly dumped it all on Zack. He’d always been there for her, and their friendship was as solid and true as their blood tie. But she was forced to admit she wanted a woman’s shoulder. Mia and Nell were out of the question. They were too tightly connected. But there was one who was linked to all of them, and who could always be counted on to speak her mind. Whether or not you cared to hear it.
She went to Lulu.
She waited until she thought that Lulu had had time enough to get home from the bookstore but not enough to settle in too comfortably. After she’d waded through the lawn art, adjusted her eyes to the virulent colors that Lulu habitually selected to paint her house, and knocked on the back door, Ripley was pleased to see her timing was good.
Lulu had changed out of her work clothes into a sweatshirt that read, “Coffee, Chocolate, Men . . . Some things are just better rich.” She had an unopened bottle of wine in her hand and was wearing ratty red slippers and the faintly irritated look of a woman who’d been interrupted.
“What’s up with you?” she demanded.
It wasn’t the warmest of welcomes, but it was Lulu. “Got a minute?”
“I guess I do.” She turned away and clomped back to the counter for her corkscrew. “Want a glass of this?”
“Wouldn’t mind it.”
“Good thing I didn’t light that joint.”
Ripley winced. “Damn, Lu.”
Lulu let out a cackling laugh and popped the cork. “Just kidding. Always could get you. Haven’t had a toke in . . .” She sighed nostalgically. “Twenty-six years. Your daddy was the first and last to bust me. Confiscated my pretty little plant, and my stash. Told me he knew I could get more where that came from if I had a mind to, or I could keep on working for Mia’s grandmother—and tending Mia, and he figured I had the good sense to know which I needed more. Always liked your daddy.”
“That’s a heartwarming story, Lu. Just chokes me up.”
Lulu poured wine into two glasses, then sat and propped her feet on one of the kitchen chairs. “What brings you to my door, Deputy?”
“Can we start with some light conversation, so I can work up to it?”
“Okay.” Lulu sipped, savoring the first taste of the end of the workday. “How’s your sex life?”
“That’s sort of part of what I’m going to work up to.”
“Never thought I’d see the day when Let-’Er-Rip came to my door for a sex talk.”
Before she could stop herself, Ripley squirmed. “Jeez, Lu, nobody calls me that anymore.”
Lulu grinned. “I do. Always did admire your up-front approach to things. Got man trouble, baby doll?”
“Sort of. But—”
“Nice-looking man. PhDee-licious.” Lulu smacked her lips. “Not your usual type, of course. Kinda slow and thoughtful, and a little on the sweet side. Not so sweet he hurts your teeth or anything. Just a nice flavor. If I were thirty years younger—”
“Yeah, yeah, you’d have a taste of him yourself.” Sulking, Ripley propped her chin on her fists.
“Don’t smart-ass me. Anyway, it’s nice to see you realize brains are sexy. So, how’s he rate in the sack?”
“We haven’t been there.”
Rather than surprising her, the statement confirmed Lulu’s recent observations. She set down her glass, pursed her lips. “Figured, and that tells me one thing. He scares you.”
“I’m not scared of him.” Accusations of that nature always put Ripley’s back up, especially when they were true. “I’m just being cautious and taking my time. It’s . . . complicated.”
Lulu pressed her fingertips together in a kind of prayer tent. “Here is some wisdom of the ages, grasshopper.”
Despite herself, Ripley grinned. “Who’s the smart-ass?”
“Shut up and listen. The wisdom is this: sex is better when it’s complicated.”
“Why?”
“Because. When you can snatch the pebbles out of my hand, you will know the answer for yourself.”
“I really like him. I mean really. ”
“What’s bad about that?”
“Nothing. I just wish, sort of, that we’d gone ahead with it right off the bat so there wouldn’t be all these jitters and wondering and buildup so it all seems so . . .”
“Important.”
The breath whizzed out of Ripley’s lungs. “Okay, yeah. Important. Worse, I think he knows it’s important, and if he does, it means when it all comes down I’m not going to be really, you know, in charge.”