Amused, he explained, “Effie says knitting calms the soul.”
“Do I look like I knit?”
“No, but you like you’re in a snit.”
“Oh, great, I get stabbed and you get cute.”
He threw me a look. “Seriously,” he muttered, coming over to fluff my pillows like the perfect nursemaid, “what’s crawled up your ass since leaving the hospital?”
“You.” I batted his hand away from my pillows. “You, you, you.” Could he really not see this was difficult for me? “It’s bad enough I have to be here to recuperate. Maybe you could just help me out a little by backing off.”
He seemed stunned by my outburst … until slowly I watched understanding dawn on his face. He stepped back from the bed. “I have to be here to help you out, Lex. There’s nothing to be done about that.”
I nodded and looked away, feeling utterly vulnerable that he now knew just how much it affected me to be around him. “But Effie will be here mostly?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
“I take it you don’t want to watch a movie with me, then?”
An ache gripped my chest as I remembered our first movie night together.
“Maybe we could stay like this forever …”
I pushed the memory of his words out of my head and reached for the laptop. “Not tonight.”
Taking the hint, Caine moved to leave. He stopped at the doorway. “Can I get you anything before I leave you alone for the night?”
Leave me alone for the night?
The panic must have shown on my face, because he gentled. “I meant alone in this room. I’ll be down the hall.”
The thought of him lying down the hall from me filled me with even more frustration. I cursed my complicated feelings. I wanted him there, but I didn’t want him there. How fun for me. “A glass of water.”
He gave me a nod, seeming pleased to have been given a job. “Coming right up.”
At his departure I exhaled slowly.
I could hear Effie in my head, urging me not to give up on Caine, urging me to keep pushing and pushing at him until he finally gave me his secrets.
Right now I just felt too angry. I knew my anger came from the attack that left me feeling scared. I hated that I’d been made to feel like a victim. That feeling was seeping into every aspect of my life, and somehow it felt like a betrayal of myself—a weakness more than a strength—to fight for Caine when he was so resistant.
“If I don’t get out of this room soon, I’m going to scream.”
Effie gave me a warning look. “Scream and I will not bake you any more cakes.”
“Good. I’m getting fat.”
“Pfft.” She drew her eyes over me. “You’ve been eating like a bird since you got here. The only reason you’re not disappearing before my very eyes is my cakes.”
“Effie,” I whimpered like a child. “I need fresh air. At least let me go out on the balcony.”
To be fair I had been cooped up in Caine’s guest room for the last week. Effie stuck around the apartment while Caine was at work. I appreciated her help more than I could say. She was there to make sure I got in and out of the shower okay. She helped me change my dressing daily and proved herself once again pretty spry and strong for an old lady. Effie was also a great babysitter because she hung out with me, but she also hung out downstairs, giving us both space. Other than Effie I’d had Caine’s cleaner, Donna, for company the two times she arrived for work. It was my first time meeting her and I was more than a little uncomfortable with the circumstances. Along with Effie and Donna, I’d had Rachel and Sofie visit when they dropped by a few times. As did Henry and Nadia. They entertained me without even meaning to. I was fascinated witnessing Henry’s interaction with her. He constantly watched her—tender with her in a way I’d never seen from him before. As for Nadia, she was clearly really into him. I had my fingers crossed for them both, because I genuinely liked Nadia, and I’d come to care for Henry over the last few months. Someone had to get a happily ever after at the end of all this.
As for Grandpa, he called. Obviously it would be unfair to ask Caine if my grandfather could visit me at his apartment, so we just chatted for a little while on the phone. Grandpa was still dealing with the fallout of his family’s discovering I was in Boston and that he’d been seeing me behind their backs all along. Apparently there were a lot of discussions, but none of them reached a conclusion.
I think that was his polite way of avoiding telling me that the rest of the family, including my grandmother, didn’t want to have anything to do with me.
That stung. A lot. Along with Caine’s rejection, it pretty much could have threatened to bring on the great depression of the twenty-first century. But I had other things to worry about. For instance, the fact that there were still no leads on my attacker.
“You’re being a terrible patient. You know for your own safety we can’t let you out on the balcony,” Effie grumbled.
I scoffed, “We’re God knows how many stories high. Surely Caine doesn’t think my attacker can get to me on the balcony. I mean he’d have to have a sight gun.”
Effie blanched at the thought.
My heart pounded in my chest. “No. Caine doesn’t believe that’s even a remote possibility. Right? I mean … that’s … th-that’s crazy.”
“Sweetheart, it’s a little far-fetched, and Caine knows that. But right now he’s paranoid about your safety. You didn’t see him when he came home from the hospital that first night. He was wrecked. So you have to give him this.”
“Do I look like I knit?”
“No, but you like you’re in a snit.”
“Oh, great, I get stabbed and you get cute.”
He threw me a look. “Seriously,” he muttered, coming over to fluff my pillows like the perfect nursemaid, “what’s crawled up your ass since leaving the hospital?”
“You.” I batted his hand away from my pillows. “You, you, you.” Could he really not see this was difficult for me? “It’s bad enough I have to be here to recuperate. Maybe you could just help me out a little by backing off.”
He seemed stunned by my outburst … until slowly I watched understanding dawn on his face. He stepped back from the bed. “I have to be here to help you out, Lex. There’s nothing to be done about that.”
I nodded and looked away, feeling utterly vulnerable that he now knew just how much it affected me to be around him. “But Effie will be here mostly?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
“I take it you don’t want to watch a movie with me, then?”
An ache gripped my chest as I remembered our first movie night together.
“Maybe we could stay like this forever …”
I pushed the memory of his words out of my head and reached for the laptop. “Not tonight.”
Taking the hint, Caine moved to leave. He stopped at the doorway. “Can I get you anything before I leave you alone for the night?”
Leave me alone for the night?
The panic must have shown on my face, because he gentled. “I meant alone in this room. I’ll be down the hall.”
The thought of him lying down the hall from me filled me with even more frustration. I cursed my complicated feelings. I wanted him there, but I didn’t want him there. How fun for me. “A glass of water.”
He gave me a nod, seeming pleased to have been given a job. “Coming right up.”
At his departure I exhaled slowly.
I could hear Effie in my head, urging me not to give up on Caine, urging me to keep pushing and pushing at him until he finally gave me his secrets.
Right now I just felt too angry. I knew my anger came from the attack that left me feeling scared. I hated that I’d been made to feel like a victim. That feeling was seeping into every aspect of my life, and somehow it felt like a betrayal of myself—a weakness more than a strength—to fight for Caine when he was so resistant.
“If I don’t get out of this room soon, I’m going to scream.”
Effie gave me a warning look. “Scream and I will not bake you any more cakes.”
“Good. I’m getting fat.”
“Pfft.” She drew her eyes over me. “You’ve been eating like a bird since you got here. The only reason you’re not disappearing before my very eyes is my cakes.”
“Effie,” I whimpered like a child. “I need fresh air. At least let me go out on the balcony.”
To be fair I had been cooped up in Caine’s guest room for the last week. Effie stuck around the apartment while Caine was at work. I appreciated her help more than I could say. She was there to make sure I got in and out of the shower okay. She helped me change my dressing daily and proved herself once again pretty spry and strong for an old lady. Effie was also a great babysitter because she hung out with me, but she also hung out downstairs, giving us both space. Other than Effie I’d had Caine’s cleaner, Donna, for company the two times she arrived for work. It was my first time meeting her and I was more than a little uncomfortable with the circumstances. Along with Effie and Donna, I’d had Rachel and Sofie visit when they dropped by a few times. As did Henry and Nadia. They entertained me without even meaning to. I was fascinated witnessing Henry’s interaction with her. He constantly watched her—tender with her in a way I’d never seen from him before. As for Nadia, she was clearly really into him. I had my fingers crossed for them both, because I genuinely liked Nadia, and I’d come to care for Henry over the last few months. Someone had to get a happily ever after at the end of all this.
As for Grandpa, he called. Obviously it would be unfair to ask Caine if my grandfather could visit me at his apartment, so we just chatted for a little while on the phone. Grandpa was still dealing with the fallout of his family’s discovering I was in Boston and that he’d been seeing me behind their backs all along. Apparently there were a lot of discussions, but none of them reached a conclusion.
I think that was his polite way of avoiding telling me that the rest of the family, including my grandmother, didn’t want to have anything to do with me.
That stung. A lot. Along with Caine’s rejection, it pretty much could have threatened to bring on the great depression of the twenty-first century. But I had other things to worry about. For instance, the fact that there were still no leads on my attacker.
“You’re being a terrible patient. You know for your own safety we can’t let you out on the balcony,” Effie grumbled.
I scoffed, “We’re God knows how many stories high. Surely Caine doesn’t think my attacker can get to me on the balcony. I mean he’d have to have a sight gun.”
Effie blanched at the thought.
My heart pounded in my chest. “No. Caine doesn’t believe that’s even a remote possibility. Right? I mean … that’s … th-that’s crazy.”
“Sweetheart, it’s a little far-fetched, and Caine knows that. But right now he’s paranoid about your safety. You didn’t see him when he came home from the hospital that first night. He was wrecked. So you have to give him this.”
