Hit Parade
Page 36

 Lawrence Block

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41
“I think I get it,” Dot said. “This is a new thing for me, Keller. I wrote it down, and I’m going to read it back to you, to make sure I’ve got it all straight.”
She did, and he told her she had it right.
“That’s a miracle,” she said, “because it was a little like taking dictation in a foreign language. I’ll take care of it tomorrow. Can I do it all in a day?”
“Probably.”
“Then I will. And you’ll be…”
“Biding my time in Indianapolis. I switched motels, by the way.”
“Good.”
“And found the bug they put on my bumper, and switched it to the bumper of another Ford the same color as mine.”
“That should muddy the waters nicely.”
“I thought so. So I’ll do what I have to do, and then I’ll be a couple of days driving home.”
“Not to worry,” she said. “I’ll leave the porch light on for you.”
It was a full week later when Keller drove his rented Toyota through the Lincoln Tunnel and found his way to the National garage, where he turned it in. He went home, unpacked his bag, and spent two full hours working on his stamp collection before he picked up the phone and called White Plains.
“Come right on up,” Dot said, “so I can turn the light off. It’s attracting moths.”
In the kitchen of the house on Taunton Place, Dot poured him a big glass of iced tea and told him they’d done very well indeed. “I was wondering at first,” she said, “because I bought a big chunk of Indy Fi, and the first thing it did was go down a couple of points. But then it turned around and went back up again, and the last I checked it’s up better than ten points from when I bought it. I bought options, too, for increased leverage. I don’t understand how they work exactly, but I was able to buy them, and this morning I sold them, and do you want to know exactly how much we made on them?”
“It doesn’t have to be exact.”
She told him, down to the last decimal point, and it was a satisfying number.
“We’re about that much ahead on the actual stock we bought,” she said, “but I haven’t sold that yet, because I kind of like owning it, especially the way it’s going up. Maybe we can sell half and let the rest ride, something like that, but I figured I’d wait and see what you want to do.”
“We’ll work it out.”
“My thought exactly.” She sat forward, rubbed her hands together. “What really kick-started things,” she said, “was when Clocker killed himself. His hedge fund had been shorting Indy Fi’s stock all along, and he was behind the lawsuit they were going through, and when he was out of the picture, and in a way that put the cloud right over his own head, well, the price of Indy Fi’s stock could go back where it belonged. And the price of his hedge fund…”
“Sank?”
“Like a stone,” she said. “And we sold it short, and covered our shorts very cheaply, and made a killing. It’s nice to make a killing without having to drive anywhere. How did you know how to do all this?”
“I had advice,” he said. “From a fellow who couldn’t do any of this himself, because it would be insider trading. But you and I aren’t insiders, so there’s no problem.”
“Well, I’ve got no problem with it myself, Keller. That’s for sure. You know, this isn’t the first time you’ve wound up killing a client of ours.”
“I know.”
“This one brought it on himself, no question. But usually it costs us money, and this time we came out way ahead. You’re going to be able to buy a veritable shitload of stamps.”
“I was thinking about that.”
“And we’re a giant stride closer to being able to retire, when the time comes.”
“I was thinking about that, too.”
“And you bonded with What’s-his-name.”
“Meredith Grondahl.”
“What do his friends call him, did you happen to find out?”
“It never came up. I’m not sure he’s got any friends.”
“Oh.”
“I was thinking I ought to send him something, Dot. I had an idea of how to make money in the market, but he spelled the whole thing out for me. I didn’t know a thing about options, and I never would have thought of shorting the hedge fund.”
“How big a share do you want to send him?”
“Not a share. He’s pretty straight-arrow, and even if he weren’t, the last thing he wants is cash he can’t explain. No, I was thinking more of a present. A token, really, but something he’d like to have and probably wouldn’t ever buy for himself.”
“Like?”
“Season tickets to the Pacers’ home games. He loves basketball, and a pair of courtside season tickets should really do it for the guy.”
“What’s it cost?” Before he could answer she waved the question away. “Not enough to matter, not the way we just made out. That’s a great idea, Keller. And who knows? Next time you’re in Indianapolis, maybe the two of you can take in a game.”
He shook his head. “No,” he said. “Leave me out of it. I hate basketball.”
QUOTIDIAN KELLER
42
“Will you look at that?” Dot said.
Keller looked, but all he could see was a chart of the price of some stock and, across the bottom of the screen, a crawl of stock symbols and numbers. The sound was off, as usual. Dot seemed to prefer TV with the sound off. Keller figured that worked okay with Animal Planet or the National Geographic channel, but it seemed less effective with CNBC. What good was a talking head if you couldn’t tell what it was talking about?
“We’re doing okay,” she said.
“We are?”
“I seem to have a knack for this,” she said, “or else I’ve been lucky, which is probably just as good. Don’t you think?”
“I suppose so. I didn’t know you were in the stock market.”
“I’m not,” she said. “I’m right here in my kitchen, sipping iced tea and talking to my partner.”
“We’re partners?”
She nodded. “Remember Indianapolis?”
“Basketball,” he said.
“Basketball and stock manipulation. We made out very nicely, and it was you who came up with the idea. We did some buying and selling, and no special prosecutor turned up to charge us with insider trading.”
“And you’re still in the market?”
“We both are, Keller. I never gave you your share.”
“You didn’t?”
She rolled her eyes. “And after the dust settled on that deal,” she said, “well, I looked around and found some other things to buy. It’s real easy, you just get online and click your mouse and there you are. You never have to have a conversation with a human being who might ask you what the hell you think you’re doing. We’ve been making money.”
“That’s great, Dot.”
“You want your half? Or should I keep doing what I’ve been doing?”
“If you’re making money for us,” he said, “I’d be crazy to tell you to stop.”
“That’s assuming we’ll continue to do well. I could lose it all, too.”
“What have we got at this point?”
She named a number, and it was higher than he would have guessed, considerably higher.
“That’s what our account’s worth,” she said, “so half of that is yours. I’m inclined to keep playing, because I’d have to put the money somewhere, and it might as well be where it’s making more money. But if you have a use for it, or want to add it to your retirement fund-”
“No,” he said. “You hang on to it, and keep on doing what you’ve been doing. I didn’t even know I had it, and if I drew the money I know what would happen to it.”
“Stamps.”
“Stamps,” he agreed. “It’s a good thing you didn’t give me my share of the original stock profits, because it’d probably be gone by now. Well, not gone, but-”
“But pasted in an album.”
“Mounted.”
“I stand corrected. Look at that, will you?”
He glanced at the screen, with no idea what he was supposed to be looking at. “Fascinating,” he said.
“Isn’t it? Who would have guessed?”
The stock crawl went on during the commercials until they finally cut to some sort of mega-commercial that filled the screen. He seized the opportunity to ask her if that was why she’d asked him to come out to White Plains.
“No,” she said, “it’s something else. I got so caught up in this that I almost forgot. It’s wonderful to develop an interest late in life, you know?”
“I know.”
“You with your stamps, me with my stocks. Our stocks. Keller, when I say Detroit, what comes to mind?”
“Cars.”
“That’s right, they still make a few cars there, don’t they? What else?”
“ Detroit,” he said, and thought about it. “Well, the Tigers, of course. The Lions, the Pistons. There’s a hockey team, too, but I can’t remember the name of it.”
“Could it be the Horvaths?”
“The Horvaths?”
“As in Len Horvath.”
“Len Horvath.”
“That ring a muted bell for you, Keller?”
“Quotidian,” Keller said.
“Huh?”
“Putative.”
She held up her hands. “I give up,” she said. “Are you just throwing words at me, or did you pick up some charms from Harry Potter?”
“They were words he used,” he told her. “Len Horvath, in Detroit. ‘I read books,’ he said. He had a stamp collection when he was a kid. At least he said he did.”
“It’d be a strange thing to lie about. He liked you, Keller.”
“He liked me?”
“Not enough to ask you to the prom, but enough to call me on the phone and tell me who he was and what he wanted. And what he wants is you.”
“I thought he was going to kill me,” he remembered. “He had me picked up at the airport, and I thought he was going to have me killed, but all he did was use some big words and send me back.”
“And you haven’t been back to Detroit since.”
He started to nod, then remembered. “Just once,” he said, and thought of a shopping mall in Farmington Hills. “That fellow I met on the plane.”
“You didn’t run into Len Horvath on that trip, did you? Because he remembers you fondly. He wants you to do some work for him.”
“I can use the work.”
“Just what I was thinking, although I didn’t come right out and say as much to Horvath. I told him I’d have to make sure the time worked for you. Because this is one of those where time is of the essence. You don’t get to spend a whole season following a baseball player around the country. It all has to be done next weekend.”