Something clattered loudly, and I wasn’t sure what it was, but I thought Boden hit something or knocked something over.
“What do you even know about clinics?” Boden asked. “I thought you spent your time running a butcher shop back at the quarantine. How could you do that to her? Didn’t you have some kind of oath where you first do no harm?”
“I didn’t do that to her,” Daniels argued. “My job was to draw blood and take care of her. I was in charge of monitoring her and keeping her alive. So that’s what I did. It was the other doctors that cut her up, and… I never wanted this to happen.”
“Just fix her, okay?” Boden sounded uncharacteristically desperate. “Don’t let her die.”
“I promise you, I’m doing everything I can for her,” Daniels assured him.
Then it was gone again. I was back into the blackness. And at first that was nice because I couldn’t feel anything. A numbness had taken over me.
But when I opened my eyes, a bright white lamp was shining above me. Four faces hovered above me, all hidden behind surgical masks, so all I could see was their eyes as they dissected me. I tried to move but my arms were pinned down. When I screamed, nothing came out, because my mouth was blocked with a leather gag. I was freezing cold, strapped naked to a table.
I was back in the quarantine. I was in the operating room. I didn’t know how I got back there. Or maybe I’d never left. Maybe everything had been a dream, and I was still trapped inside, where they would be cutting me up over and over again.
I struggled against the straps but I couldn’t get free. I wanted to scream at the doctors and beg them to stop, but they just ignored me, the way always did when they operated. They wouldn’t even look me in the eyes. They just talked calmly among themselves, like I wasn’t even there.
Then I felt the blade slice into my stomach. Even when I knew it was coming, it never made it easier. But they weren’t just cutting my stomach. I could feel their knives all over, as they sliced up my legs, my arms, my chest, anywhere they reach. They were dicing me up.
“Remy!” Daniels was yelling but I couldn’t see his face. He wasn’t in the operating room with us, but I could hear him. “Remy, stop! Please!”
“Let me go!” I screamed, and I could actually hear my own words. The gag wasn’t in my mouth anymore.
“Boden!” Daniels shouted. “Boden, I need your help!”
“Please,” I was begging with tears streaming down my cheeks. “Please. Don’t hurt me.”
“Nobody’s gonna hurt you.” That was Boden’s voice, calm and soothing, and I felt his hands, strong and warm on my arms. “But you need to settle down, or you’re going to hurt yourself.”
I blinked, unable to understand what was happening, and the vision of the operating room cleared. Boden was sitting beside me, pinning down each of my arms. I was freezing, and my teeth began to chatter.
“What’s going on?” I asked, and my throat felt raw. I wondered how much I’d been screaming.
“You’re clothes are soaking wet, so Daniels is taking them off,” Boden said. “He’ll put you in dry clothes so you don’t get pneumonia.”
Boden had loosened his grip, and I looked around. Daniels must’ve already changed my shirt, because I was wearing a warm, dry sweater instead of the old dirty one I’d had on before. He was in the process of taking off my pants, and they were around my knees, clinging wet to my skin.
“Are you okay?” Boden asked.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I’m okay.”
I tried to sit up, but I couldn’t. My body didn’t seem to want to work that way, and pain spread through me.
“Don’t sit up,” Daniels said. “I’ve got it. You just rest.”
I lay back, and he started sliding off my pants again. I didn’t feel any real shame at having him undress me, since he’d had to do it before in his capacity as my doctor. He’d actually seen me naked dozens of times before, and nothing inappropriate ever came of it.
Boden let go of my arms, and for reasons I didn’t fully understand, I grabbed onto his hand, gripping tightly.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Why are you sorry?” Boden asked with a crooked smile. With his free hand, he brushed back the hair from forehead.
“I don’t know. I just feel like I should be sorry.”
“You don’t need to be,” he assured me.
“How’s Max?” I asked.
“He’s good,” Boden said. “He’s worried about you, of course, but he’s fine.”
“And Stella?”
“She’s good, too.” He smiled. “She said that if you need her teddy bear, you can have it. It always makes her feel better.”
“I think I’ll be okay,” I said, smiling back. My lips were dry, and it actually hurt to smile.
“Good. But just get some rest, okay? You need to sleep.”
I wanted to stay awake and talk more, although I’m not sure what I would’ve said. But Boden was right, and I was out the instant I closed my eyes.
I woke up on and off after that, but I was never awake for long. Max came in to see me, and I remember promising him I would be fine, but that was about it. I mostly slept and had vivid nightmares, usually about the quarantine, but sometimes about other things, like Blue the zombie. But in my nightmares, Blue always won.
“Remy.” Daniels was shaking me awake, but I tried to resist. “Remy. Come on. You need to eat something.”
“I don’t want to eat,” I mumbled and tried to roll over, but his hand was strong on my shoulder.
“You know, it would be so much easier for me to save your life if you weren’t fighting me all the time.” Daniels sighed. “Remy. You have to eat. You haven’t had anything in two days, and you can’t fight off the infection if you’re starving to death.”
“Two days?” I opened my eyes and looked up at him. “How long have I been asleep?”
“Two days,” Daniels replied. He had a plate covered in canned tuna, mashed potatoes, and spinach, and he held it out toward me. “Eat.”
“Two days?” I asked dubiously, and I pushed myself up so I was sitting a bit. My stomach felt sore when I moved, but it felt much better than it had before.
“What do you even know about clinics?” Boden asked. “I thought you spent your time running a butcher shop back at the quarantine. How could you do that to her? Didn’t you have some kind of oath where you first do no harm?”
“I didn’t do that to her,” Daniels argued. “My job was to draw blood and take care of her. I was in charge of monitoring her and keeping her alive. So that’s what I did. It was the other doctors that cut her up, and… I never wanted this to happen.”
“Just fix her, okay?” Boden sounded uncharacteristically desperate. “Don’t let her die.”
“I promise you, I’m doing everything I can for her,” Daniels assured him.
Then it was gone again. I was back into the blackness. And at first that was nice because I couldn’t feel anything. A numbness had taken over me.
But when I opened my eyes, a bright white lamp was shining above me. Four faces hovered above me, all hidden behind surgical masks, so all I could see was their eyes as they dissected me. I tried to move but my arms were pinned down. When I screamed, nothing came out, because my mouth was blocked with a leather gag. I was freezing cold, strapped naked to a table.
I was back in the quarantine. I was in the operating room. I didn’t know how I got back there. Or maybe I’d never left. Maybe everything had been a dream, and I was still trapped inside, where they would be cutting me up over and over again.
I struggled against the straps but I couldn’t get free. I wanted to scream at the doctors and beg them to stop, but they just ignored me, the way always did when they operated. They wouldn’t even look me in the eyes. They just talked calmly among themselves, like I wasn’t even there.
Then I felt the blade slice into my stomach. Even when I knew it was coming, it never made it easier. But they weren’t just cutting my stomach. I could feel their knives all over, as they sliced up my legs, my arms, my chest, anywhere they reach. They were dicing me up.
“Remy!” Daniels was yelling but I couldn’t see his face. He wasn’t in the operating room with us, but I could hear him. “Remy, stop! Please!”
“Let me go!” I screamed, and I could actually hear my own words. The gag wasn’t in my mouth anymore.
“Boden!” Daniels shouted. “Boden, I need your help!”
“Please,” I was begging with tears streaming down my cheeks. “Please. Don’t hurt me.”
“Nobody’s gonna hurt you.” That was Boden’s voice, calm and soothing, and I felt his hands, strong and warm on my arms. “But you need to settle down, or you’re going to hurt yourself.”
I blinked, unable to understand what was happening, and the vision of the operating room cleared. Boden was sitting beside me, pinning down each of my arms. I was freezing, and my teeth began to chatter.
“What’s going on?” I asked, and my throat felt raw. I wondered how much I’d been screaming.
“You’re clothes are soaking wet, so Daniels is taking them off,” Boden said. “He’ll put you in dry clothes so you don’t get pneumonia.”
Boden had loosened his grip, and I looked around. Daniels must’ve already changed my shirt, because I was wearing a warm, dry sweater instead of the old dirty one I’d had on before. He was in the process of taking off my pants, and they were around my knees, clinging wet to my skin.
“Are you okay?” Boden asked.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I’m okay.”
I tried to sit up, but I couldn’t. My body didn’t seem to want to work that way, and pain spread through me.
“Don’t sit up,” Daniels said. “I’ve got it. You just rest.”
I lay back, and he started sliding off my pants again. I didn’t feel any real shame at having him undress me, since he’d had to do it before in his capacity as my doctor. He’d actually seen me naked dozens of times before, and nothing inappropriate ever came of it.
Boden let go of my arms, and for reasons I didn’t fully understand, I grabbed onto his hand, gripping tightly.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Why are you sorry?” Boden asked with a crooked smile. With his free hand, he brushed back the hair from forehead.
“I don’t know. I just feel like I should be sorry.”
“You don’t need to be,” he assured me.
“How’s Max?” I asked.
“He’s good,” Boden said. “He’s worried about you, of course, but he’s fine.”
“And Stella?”
“She’s good, too.” He smiled. “She said that if you need her teddy bear, you can have it. It always makes her feel better.”
“I think I’ll be okay,” I said, smiling back. My lips were dry, and it actually hurt to smile.
“Good. But just get some rest, okay? You need to sleep.”
I wanted to stay awake and talk more, although I’m not sure what I would’ve said. But Boden was right, and I was out the instant I closed my eyes.
I woke up on and off after that, but I was never awake for long. Max came in to see me, and I remember promising him I would be fine, but that was about it. I mostly slept and had vivid nightmares, usually about the quarantine, but sometimes about other things, like Blue the zombie. But in my nightmares, Blue always won.
“Remy.” Daniels was shaking me awake, but I tried to resist. “Remy. Come on. You need to eat something.”
“I don’t want to eat,” I mumbled and tried to roll over, but his hand was strong on my shoulder.
“You know, it would be so much easier for me to save your life if you weren’t fighting me all the time.” Daniels sighed. “Remy. You have to eat. You haven’t had anything in two days, and you can’t fight off the infection if you’re starving to death.”
“Two days?” I opened my eyes and looked up at him. “How long have I been asleep?”
“Two days,” Daniels replied. He had a plate covered in canned tuna, mashed potatoes, and spinach, and he held it out toward me. “Eat.”
“Two days?” I asked dubiously, and I pushed myself up so I was sitting a bit. My stomach felt sore when I moved, but it felt much better than it had before.
