Honor & Betray
Page 5

“Do you have somewhere you can go for a few days?” The officer directed the question to me. “This is a crime scene, and you won’t be allowed back inside until we’re done here.”
Emma nodded as she borrowed deeper into my side. I held her firmly against me. I wasn’t going to let her leave my sight. Not now or ever. The officer reached out, patting Emma on the shoulder to offer his condolences. I stiffened, hating another man touching her. It went unnoticed.
After hours in the sun, we were finally finished with the questioning. We needed to go down to the station and make our official statements. I knew Emma had been through enough, but it was important for her to give her side of the story while it was fresh in her mind and her emotions were still in overdrive. The police needed to see how affected she was by the loss, if only to keep their eyes from turning to me. After they were satisfied, we made our way back to Judy’s house.
I waited outside while an officer escorted Emma to her room to gather a few of her belongings. She stepped outside after a few minutes, with fresh tears in her eyes. I took her hand and pulled her away from the home. As we made our way toward the end of the driveway, the garage door rose behind us, and Emma gasped as she turned to see her aunt’s car inside. Whomever Stephen had hired to do this could have still been inside, and we would have never known. I could have sent Emma in to her death. It ripped me apart to hide the rage that boiled inside of me as I thought about how careless I had been.
Chapter Six
Emma was practically catatonic beside me as I drove her to my building across town. She didn’t break down until we pulled into the first floor of my place. Her body shook as the tears streamed down her cheeks. It gutted me inside that I couldn’t take away her pain. I exited the car and quickly made my way to her side. I pulled open her door and carefully lifted her into my arms. She snuggled against my chest and continued to weep as I carried her up the stairs and inside of my apartment. I took her straight into my bedroom, leaving the light off. I lowered her into the bed and slid in behind her, wrapping my arms around her body and pulling her tight against me.
She began to cry louder as I held her, stroking her arm as she let go of all the pain that plagued her. I hated that I was partly to blame for what she was feeling. I wished I could take all of her hurt away, but all I could do was lie by her side as the pain ripped her apart.
For what felt like hours, she shook and cried out until, finally, her body became weak, and she slowly stilled in my arms. I knew she was still crying, but she had exhausted herself.
“I can help distance the pain.” She glanced over her shoulder at me, and I squeezed her reassuringly. I had lived in a constant state of pain for years—an emotional torment that would only ebb when I was willing to let go and let pleasure take over. “Let me take it all away for you.” I knew it would be true for Emma. She was a natural submissive, and handing over control to me for awhile would give her time to not think. She would just feel, and it was up to me to make it pleasure or pain. I only wanted to please her.
She nodded, and I let my hand slide down over her abdomen. She rolled onto her back, and I positioned myself over her. She looked up at me through sad eyes as I slowly began to undress her.
I pulled her shirt off and followed with my own. I removed our pants and the rest of our clothing just as quickly.
“I love you so much, Emma.” I pressed my lips softly against hers, not wanting to go too fast or too hard. I needed her to focus on us. I settled between her thighs, and she sighed in my mouth as her legs fell open. I rocked against her slowly as her breathing quickened. Her nails dug into my flesh as I took my time kissing my way down her neck, trailing kisses across her collarbone.
“Please,” she begged as I took her hardened nipple into my mouth, sucking on it gently. I rolled my tongue over the bud, and she arched into my mouth. “Please, William. I need you.”
I kept my pace slow as I ventured down her stomach, licking and kissing as I made my way to her belly button. She squirmed underneath me as I dipped my tongue inside and continued a trail down to her hipbone. She lifted her waist, desperate for me to move faster. I took my time as I kissed my way down her inner thigh and back up. “Aah…please.” I looked up at her as her head fell back, and I placed soft kisses over her already wet slit. Her hips rotated against my mouth. I gripped onto her hips and ran my tongue against her, licking up every drop. She bucked against me, but I kept her tight against the bed as my tongue swirled over her clit. As her hips stilled, I used one of my hands to spread her open so I could f**k her with my tongue. “Yes,” she cried out as I slipped inside of her, thumb rubbing over her clit. Her hands fisted in my hair as she finally let go of all of her sadness and let herself get lost in the moment. I swirled my tongue over her and pushed a finger inside of her tight pu**y. She bucked and cried out as she began to ride my hand. I slid a second inside of her.
“Let go,” I whispered as her body began to throb and pulse. She came hard, unraveling completely. I crawled up the length of my body and positioned myself at her entrance.
“Thank you.” Her arms wrapped around me.
“We’re just getting started.” I pushed inside of her.
Chapter Seven
I needed to feel some semblance of normal after receiving my second chance with Emma. I told her to get dressed and made my way out to the living room. I grabbed my phone, looking back at the door to make sure she wasn’t coming before I tapped out a text to Stephen.
You should not have done that.
After a minute, a reply came in.
I was looking out for you. Your judgment is clouded.
You should have looked out for yourself. You hurt her.
I slid my phone into my pocket as Emma came out of the bedroom. I suggested she find something to watch on television as I fixed us something to eat. As f**ked up as I had made our lives, it was moments like these, peaceful boredom in the midst of chaos, that I lived for. I craved the feeling of normalcy as much as I craved control.
I made us cold cut subs while I watched Emma relaxing on the couch as the television screen flashed through the channels. She settled on the news, and I watched as J’s face took up the screen its entirety. I ran to Emma, pulling her in my arms. No matter what I did to shelter her from the world, it found its way to her. I grabbed the remote from her shaky hand and changed the channel before dropping it beside me and turning my attention back to her. I stroked her hair as I tried to console her.
“Shh…it’s okay.”
“I can’t do this.” Her words cut through me. I tried to ignore the pain in my chest. I kept her tightly in my grasp.
“I’ll help you through this.” She did not pull away, and I forced myself to relax. It wasn’t me she was trying to escape. “Nothing can hurt you anymore. I won’t let it.” I let my hand slide down her back as I rubbed it soothingly. She relaxed, placing a small kiss on my neck.
“Thank you.” I pulled back to look her in the eye as a tear ran down her cheek. I wiped it with the pad of my thumb. Her hand shot up to hold it against her face as her eyes fell closed. She trusted me completely, and I would not let her down.
“Let’s get you something to eat.” I stood, keeping her hand in mine as I pulled her to her feet. I led her to her seat at the island and grabbed our plates from the counter, placing them in front of her. She grabbed a chip and popped it into her mouth.
“Thank you,” she said as she brushed a crumb from her lip.
“It’s not my best cooking, but I figured you had to be hungry.” Before Emma, it was nearly impossible for me to empathize with others’ pain. She had taught me how to care again, even if only for her.
I ran my hand through my hair and took the seat next to her.
“No, I mean for everything. Thank you for being there for me.” She smiled. I tipped her chin up to look her in the eye, still unable to trust the love I saw in them for me.
“I’m not going anywhere, Emma. You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.” I laughed. Truer words had never been spoken.
“Why would I want to get rid of you?”
The smile fell from my face as I shook my head and returned my attention to the plate in front of me.
“Eat. You need your energy.” I refused to let myself think about all of the reasons Emma should turn her back on me and run as fast as she could. I didn’t need to remind myself of all the wrong I had done, because I was all she had left. I had to keep my past a secret now or risk her being completely alone.
“You have barely touched your food.” I gestured to her plate. She had only taken a few bites, and I had eaten my entire sub.
“I’m not really that hungry.” She set her sandwich on her plate.
“Eat.” I wasn’t asking. Emma still needed discipline and guidance. Something she had never gotten growing up.
“I’m really not that—”
I narrowed my eyes, and the words caught in her throat. “I’m not asking.” I grabbed my plate and took it over to the sink. I didn’t need to turn around to know that she had resumed eating. This was the one aspect of our relationship that ran flawlessly. I needed to dominate, and Emma needed someone to keep her in line and protect her.
I washed the few dishes in the sink as I tried to decide where we should go next in all of this. We were almost free to live our lives like a normal couple. But nothing about this would ever be normal. I wouldn’t be able to give Emma the things in life she really wanted. I could never give her children. It was f**ked up enough that I pulled her down into my world—but never a child. I put the plates in the cupboard and grabbed a soda from the fridge. I placed it in front of Emma as she put the last bite of food in her mouth.
“Good girl.” I traced the curve of her jaw with my fingertip. Her face turned pink under my touch, and I couldn’t help but grin. I turned back to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. I grabbed a few tumblers from under the island and sat them between us.
“I don’t know about you, but it has been a long day, and I could use a drink.” I smiled down at her.
“Thanks.” I poured her a double shot and slid the glass closer. She picked it up and smelled it, making a face of disgust as she set it back on the countertop.
“Don’t ever hesitate. You just have to go for it, or you will talk yourself out of it.” That was how I went through life and got what I wanted. I slid the glass closer to her. She took a deep breath and drank it down, her face twisted in disgust as she chugged a gulp from her soda. I couldn’t help but smile.
“Again. This time, no chaser.” I refilled her drink as I watched her eye it cautiously. “Drink it.” I said slowly. She picked it up and drank the contents without a second thought. I drank mine as I watched her cough.
“Good girl.”
She smiled widely at my praise.
“More?” I held up the bottle between us. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and nodded. I didn’t want her to get wasted, but I needed to help her take the edge off. I poured another round, and we both drank.
“Woo,” she called out as it burned down her throat. The mood had lightened significantly, and I took satisfaction in being able to ease her discomfort, even if my methods were f**ked up. She slid her glass back over to me.
“I think that’s enough for now.”
She pushed out her lower lip in a pout and I reached across the island, rubbing over her mouth with my thumb. “Let’s go have some fun.” I cocked my head toward the elevator and raised my eyebrow. She blushed, looking down at our empty glasses.
Chapter Eight
The third floor was the only place I could truly be myself. It was where the demons I carried inside of me got the chance to come out and play.
My eyes danced over Emma’s nearly naked body draped facedown over a high bench. I had her keep panties on to offer her some modesty. I knew she was eager to please me, but I wanted her to grow to love it and anticipate this time as much as I did. I would never leave this floor if it weren’t for that. This wasn’t something you could jump into with both feet. Trust took a long time to gain and only one mistake to rip away.
I secured her hands above her head and spread her legs wide. I didn’t bother securing her ankles because I enjoyed watching her struggle to follow my orders while overcome by pleasure. I leaned over her, my lips against her ear.
“If you move your legs, I will punish you.” I couldn’t help but smile at the sound of her sharp intake of breath as she stiffened beneath me. “You will f**king love it.”
She relaxed, releasing her breath as I stood upright and looked down over her.
“Do you remember the safe word?” I asked as I skimmed my fingertip down the back of her thigh, leaving a trail of goose bumps.
“Oh…god…”
I smiled as I brought my hand down fast and hard across her perfect ass. Red spread across her flesh, and I admired my mark.
“Wrong.” I brought my hand down again across the other cheek as it bloomed with color. I ran my fingers softly over the mark, dipping my fingers between her legs to feel how wet I had made her.
“Flower,” she panted as I slowly slid my fingers inside of her. “Ahh…yes…flower.”
I stilled my hand, and she squirmed.
“Are you using your safe word?” I asked as she turned her head to look at me.
“What? No! No!”
I couldn’t help but smile as I smacked her ass playfully.
“Stay still.” I poured some tingling lubricant over my fingers and ran them over her slit. She bit back a moan as her ass pushed back against my fingers.
“You can moan. I want to hear you enjoying this.” I rubbed over her again, pressing against her clit and bringing my fingers back over her ass. I felt her muscles tighten. “Just enjoy it, Emma.” I used my other hand to reach between her legs and massage her clit. I pressed two fingers into her pu**y and f**ked her slowly with my hand before pulling out and slipping my fingers over her ass. Her body stayed relaxed this time.