Running my finger lazily along her spine, I look out the window as light begins to fill the room. It’s early, only five, and I have no clue why I’m awake. Probably because I’m so used to it from working for the last three weeks at the coffee shop. But man, I wish I could go back to sleep. Today, I don’t have to work or go to practice, it’s guaranteed sleep time, but instead I’m staring at the ceiling.
I look over to Markus’s bed and see that he is not there. He didn’t come home last night. Interesting. Guess this thing with Mekena is going well. He may have not been very committed or even think it could work, but every time I see him, I see her, so I’m thinking it is. Not that it’s any of my business. I have my girl in my arms and nothing else matters but her right now.
Looking down at Avery, I smile as I move her hair out of her face, kissing her forehead. She nuzzles into my neck and my grin grows. I remember when she told me she didn’t like to cuddle. I kind of don’t believe her, though. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t that she didn’t like it, it was that she never had the chance to enjoy it. Hell, that could go for a lot of things. Especially hockey, because since my first game, she’s come to practice and she doesn’t look bored. So yeah, I think I’m right. She doesn’t know what she likes because everything she’s had has been shit.
Not anymore.
When she pulls back, looking up at me sleepily, her brows pull together.
“Why are you awake? I thought you didn’t have work or practice.”
I nod. “I don’t. I’m just awake.”
“Oh,” she says with a yawn before cuddling back into my side. “Try to go back to sleep.”
I chuckle. “Trying.”
She closes her eyes, her arms sprawled lazily across my chest as she lets out a long breath. Looking up at the ceiling, I close my eyes and I stay like that for a very long time. But it’s no use, I’m not going back to sleep. Glancing back down at her, I know she isn’t sleeping and I don’t want to disturb her, but I’m bored.
Reaching for my phone, I scroll through my Facebook until she says, “Shit, now I’m awake.”
“Sorry.”
She shakes her head. “No big deal. We can just lie here.”
“Mm,” I say, dropping my phone to my side before nuzzling my nose in her hair, my arms wrapping around her naked body. “My favorite place to be.”
Her lips curve as she rubs her nose along my jaw. “You need to shave.”
I shrug. “I’ll get to it.”
Still rubbing with her nose, her fingers come up to my jaw and my eyes fall shut at her touch. “I think I like it.”
“Then I’ll keep it.”
“Tattoos and scruff are kryptonite to some girls.”
I smile. “True, but I only want to be kryptonite to one girl.”
“This is true,” she says against my jaw. “And you are just that.”
“Awesome, winning as usual.”
“Jeez, there isn’t enough room in this bed for us and that big ol’ head of yours.”
“Don’t hate, appreciate.”
Her body shakes with laughter as she holds me tightly, and I feel on top of the world. When she tilts her head back, her eyes on me, I smile at how gorgeous she is. Her eyes are still sleepy, her face red on one side from lying on me, and her grin…it just feels right. Like she is meant to look up at me in bed with that little kitten grin. As I get lost in her eyes, I wonder what she’s thinking or how she’s feeling.
Is she in love with me as I am with her?
“You’ve only been in love once?” I find myself asking. I’m not sure why I said that, but I want to know. Just like that, the grin is gone. Shit. Looking down at my chest, she presses her nose to my neck and I look at the ceiling, wishing like hell she didn’t shut down on me like this. I mean—
“Yeah,” she says, interrupting my inner monologue of bitching and moaning that I’m in love with a girl who doesn’t want to share shit with me. “Caleb.”
“Caleb?”
Please don’t be Caleb Rutherford.
“Caleb Rutherford.”
Fuck me. For some reason, I knew it was him, though. Ever since I realized who her brother is, I wondered. There used to not be a moment when you didn’t see Caleb with Matty. Sometimes I questioned if they had a thing the way they were constantly together. Not sure what happened to him, though. I haven’t heard anything about him in a while, but he was a damn good player…
Oh, shit.
Swallowing hard, I say, “So it was serious?”
She shrugs. “Yeah, I mean, it was on my end, and I thought on his end, too.”
“What happened?” I ask, my heart pounding inside my rib cage.
Sitting up, she leans her arms on my chest, holding her head up as she looks down at the tattoo on my chest. Running her fingers along it, she says, “I always had a crush on him when we were growing up. He was always around because Matty was up his ass twenty-four seven. I mean, it was only natural that I would fall for some hotshot hockey player. He was good-looking and he would flirt with me when Matty wasn’t around. He was my first kiss, my first time, my first love, and then it just went sour. I don’t know, but he was just mean.”
“Why?”
“I’m not sure. It’s like it was a light switch. It was crazy and then he broke up with me, and I was devastated.”
“And you started cutting?”
She nods, working her lip. Swallowing hard, she looks up at me. “He was so mean, Jace. I mean, like over and above mean. Even after we broke up, he still contacted me just to be hateful.”
“What a fucktard.”
She nods. “I loved him, but then I wonder if I was obsessed because I wanted to be loved so damn bad.”
I nod. “Maybe.”
“Yeah,” she says, looking absently at my chest. “It sucks. He really did a number on me.”
Her eyes are full of pure agony, and it kills me to see. Cupping her face, I run my thumb along her jawbone. “I’m sorry. If I ever see him again, I’ll kick his ass.”
Her lips curve as she shakes her head. “You won’t. He stopped playing.”
“Why?” I ask, my heart in my throat. I hate what I’m assuming, but it’s just so easy to. Her dad has the power to ruin careers, and if Caleb broke Avery’s heart, any father would do just that. Even douchebag fathers.
I look over to Markus’s bed and see that he is not there. He didn’t come home last night. Interesting. Guess this thing with Mekena is going well. He may have not been very committed or even think it could work, but every time I see him, I see her, so I’m thinking it is. Not that it’s any of my business. I have my girl in my arms and nothing else matters but her right now.
Looking down at Avery, I smile as I move her hair out of her face, kissing her forehead. She nuzzles into my neck and my grin grows. I remember when she told me she didn’t like to cuddle. I kind of don’t believe her, though. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t that she didn’t like it, it was that she never had the chance to enjoy it. Hell, that could go for a lot of things. Especially hockey, because since my first game, she’s come to practice and she doesn’t look bored. So yeah, I think I’m right. She doesn’t know what she likes because everything she’s had has been shit.
Not anymore.
When she pulls back, looking up at me sleepily, her brows pull together.
“Why are you awake? I thought you didn’t have work or practice.”
I nod. “I don’t. I’m just awake.”
“Oh,” she says with a yawn before cuddling back into my side. “Try to go back to sleep.”
I chuckle. “Trying.”
She closes her eyes, her arms sprawled lazily across my chest as she lets out a long breath. Looking up at the ceiling, I close my eyes and I stay like that for a very long time. But it’s no use, I’m not going back to sleep. Glancing back down at her, I know she isn’t sleeping and I don’t want to disturb her, but I’m bored.
Reaching for my phone, I scroll through my Facebook until she says, “Shit, now I’m awake.”
“Sorry.”
She shakes her head. “No big deal. We can just lie here.”
“Mm,” I say, dropping my phone to my side before nuzzling my nose in her hair, my arms wrapping around her naked body. “My favorite place to be.”
Her lips curve as she rubs her nose along my jaw. “You need to shave.”
I shrug. “I’ll get to it.”
Still rubbing with her nose, her fingers come up to my jaw and my eyes fall shut at her touch. “I think I like it.”
“Then I’ll keep it.”
“Tattoos and scruff are kryptonite to some girls.”
I smile. “True, but I only want to be kryptonite to one girl.”
“This is true,” she says against my jaw. “And you are just that.”
“Awesome, winning as usual.”
“Jeez, there isn’t enough room in this bed for us and that big ol’ head of yours.”
“Don’t hate, appreciate.”
Her body shakes with laughter as she holds me tightly, and I feel on top of the world. When she tilts her head back, her eyes on me, I smile at how gorgeous she is. Her eyes are still sleepy, her face red on one side from lying on me, and her grin…it just feels right. Like she is meant to look up at me in bed with that little kitten grin. As I get lost in her eyes, I wonder what she’s thinking or how she’s feeling.
Is she in love with me as I am with her?
“You’ve only been in love once?” I find myself asking. I’m not sure why I said that, but I want to know. Just like that, the grin is gone. Shit. Looking down at my chest, she presses her nose to my neck and I look at the ceiling, wishing like hell she didn’t shut down on me like this. I mean—
“Yeah,” she says, interrupting my inner monologue of bitching and moaning that I’m in love with a girl who doesn’t want to share shit with me. “Caleb.”
“Caleb?”
Please don’t be Caleb Rutherford.
“Caleb Rutherford.”
Fuck me. For some reason, I knew it was him, though. Ever since I realized who her brother is, I wondered. There used to not be a moment when you didn’t see Caleb with Matty. Sometimes I questioned if they had a thing the way they were constantly together. Not sure what happened to him, though. I haven’t heard anything about him in a while, but he was a damn good player…
Oh, shit.
Swallowing hard, I say, “So it was serious?”
She shrugs. “Yeah, I mean, it was on my end, and I thought on his end, too.”
“What happened?” I ask, my heart pounding inside my rib cage.
Sitting up, she leans her arms on my chest, holding her head up as she looks down at the tattoo on my chest. Running her fingers along it, she says, “I always had a crush on him when we were growing up. He was always around because Matty was up his ass twenty-four seven. I mean, it was only natural that I would fall for some hotshot hockey player. He was good-looking and he would flirt with me when Matty wasn’t around. He was my first kiss, my first time, my first love, and then it just went sour. I don’t know, but he was just mean.”
“Why?”
“I’m not sure. It’s like it was a light switch. It was crazy and then he broke up with me, and I was devastated.”
“And you started cutting?”
She nods, working her lip. Swallowing hard, she looks up at me. “He was so mean, Jace. I mean, like over and above mean. Even after we broke up, he still contacted me just to be hateful.”
“What a fucktard.”
She nods. “I loved him, but then I wonder if I was obsessed because I wanted to be loved so damn bad.”
I nod. “Maybe.”
“Yeah,” she says, looking absently at my chest. “It sucks. He really did a number on me.”
Her eyes are full of pure agony, and it kills me to see. Cupping her face, I run my thumb along her jawbone. “I’m sorry. If I ever see him again, I’ll kick his ass.”
Her lips curve as she shakes her head. “You won’t. He stopped playing.”
“Why?” I ask, my heart in my throat. I hate what I’m assuming, but it’s just so easy to. Her dad has the power to ruin careers, and if Caleb broke Avery’s heart, any father would do just that. Even douchebag fathers.
