She shrugs. “Can I be honest?”
I nod. “Of course… Wait, was the sex not good? Don’t tell me the sex wasn’t good.”
She sputters with laughter, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. Looking at me with an amused expression, she says, “Really, Jace? No, not that, dork. But, I do think you went too hard ’cause I feel sick. Or maybe it was the ice cream?”
I give her a knowing look. “You did eat three scoops and then the rest of my mine. You were basically the growing dude who plays hockey today, and I was the small, not strong, guitar-playing girl.”
She glares. “Hey, I’m strong. My guitar is heavy.”
“Oh, of course,” I say quickly, my eyes dancing, and she laughs.
“Shut up! I was hungry, but now I regret my choices.”
Giving her a stern look, I quickly shake my head. “You do not regret ice cream or sex, Avery. That’s just wrong.”
She giggles as she shakes her head, but then she pauses, holding her gut. “Blah, I think I’m gonna barf.”
“Really?” I ask, a little surprised. But then, she did eat a lot of ice cream. And really, I don’t play around with sex. I get it done.
She swallows hard. “I think I pushed it back down.”
“How romantic.” I’m feeling a little queasy now too.
She sticks her tongue out at me and then shakes her head. “I think I’m good.”
“Oh, good.”
“Anyway…”
“Yes, what are we being honest about?” I ask and she sets me with a look. “You want me to come to New Jersey with you? Meet your parents, beat your brothers up if they’re mean to you?”
She laughs. “I would never ask that of you. Those people are nuts. Plus, you have a game Friday.”
“This is true.”
“Okay, so shut up and let me talk.”
“Well, talk,” I say and she rolls her eyes.
“I’m trying!” I laugh at the frustration all over her face. She’s so cute when her face is red and her eyes go wild. They turn such an awesome green color and take my breath away. Honestly.
Yeah, our lives are going a hundred miles an hour and may be going in different directions, but nothing can keep us apart. No matter what. I’ve been thinking like mad since we left the record company this afternoon, and I know it’s going to be hard. That we may be apart a lot, but we can do it. Hell, Jude and Claire have been doing just that and they are fine. We’ll figure it out because you fight for love. You fight like there are ten seconds left on the clock and you’re down a goal. You don’t give up, and I won’t give up on this girl. Too many people have failed her, and I won’t be one of them.
Pulling back, her face fills with a sweet pink color as her eyes lock with mine. “Are you done interrupting me?”
I eye her. “So no to a second round?” I say, waggling my brows seductively, but she only glares.
“No. Let me talk!”
“Fine! Talk,” I yell back playfully and she grins before I take her mouth with mine.
She starts to pull away, but I grasp her breast in my hand. “You really still wanna talk?”
Sucking in a deep breath, she swallows hard and looks deep into my eyes. “I don’t know if I want to be a performer.”
Now that makes me stop. “Huh?”
“Like, when I was in the meeting, he said he doesn’t know if he can sell my voice. It wasn’t the first time I’ve heard that.”
My brow rises. “I love your voice.”
“Yeah, but some don’t. They say it’s too raspy. And while we both think it’s great, I don’t know if I can put myself out there to be hated.”
“I’m confused. I thought you wanted this. Why does it matter what people think?”
She nods. “God, yes, I do. But I think I want to be behind the scenes. I love performing at the coffee shop and downtown, but lately, my anxiety has been really bad. The other day I forgot the words to one of my songs ’cause people started to leave.”
I wasn’t there, but she told me what had happened. She was a wreck about it, but I didn’t think anything of it. Maybe I should have. “Yeah, but that’s only a few people. If it’s your dream to be onstage, do it.”
She shrugs, her eyes full of nervousness that I really don’t understand. “That’s the thing. I don’t know if it is. I love writing. I love spilling my soul out into a song. But I don’t know. Lately, I’ve been real anxious onstage. Well, no, I love being at the coffee shop, mainly because those people love me, but downtown has been hard for me. That’s another reason I feel I have to go see my doctor in New Jersey. I think they need to up my meds.”
“I didn’t know,” I whisper, moving my hand from her breast to her jaw. “Is there anything I can do to help? I feel bad ’cause I haven’t been able to go lately.”
She shakes her head. “No, please don’t. It’s just… I’ve been thinking a lot about what Stu said, and maybe I should just stay behind the scenes. Write the music and let the performer worry about the stress and shit that comes from being out there.”
I get what she’s saying, and it’s smart. But at the same time, I want her to follow her dreams. I don’t want her to regret anything. I don’t want her to hold back her awesomeness. But I nod and look back up at her. “So you don’t want to be the Carrie Underwood to my Mike Fisher?”
She grins as she shrugs. “I don’t know. A part of me does, but the other part doesn’t. I just don’t know.”
She looks nervous, maybe a little anxious, and that, in turn, makes me nervous. I don’t want her to worry. I want her to love life and enjoy it, but I know that’s hard for her. She has to have a sense of control over everything. I get it, I do, but I don’t want her to regret this later. Swallowing hard, I look deep into her eyes. “I support whatever you want, Avery. But please promise me you’ll do what makes you happy.” When her mouth lifts at the side, my other hand comes up to wrap around her neck. “That’s all I care about, you being happy. If you want to be onstage, then, baby, I’m there, front row. If you want to write chart-toppers, then I’ll sit front row at the Grammys beside you. You just have to tell me what you want. Trust and believe, I’ll be right there with you through it all.”
I nod. “Of course… Wait, was the sex not good? Don’t tell me the sex wasn’t good.”
She sputters with laughter, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. Looking at me with an amused expression, she says, “Really, Jace? No, not that, dork. But, I do think you went too hard ’cause I feel sick. Or maybe it was the ice cream?”
I give her a knowing look. “You did eat three scoops and then the rest of my mine. You were basically the growing dude who plays hockey today, and I was the small, not strong, guitar-playing girl.”
She glares. “Hey, I’m strong. My guitar is heavy.”
“Oh, of course,” I say quickly, my eyes dancing, and she laughs.
“Shut up! I was hungry, but now I regret my choices.”
Giving her a stern look, I quickly shake my head. “You do not regret ice cream or sex, Avery. That’s just wrong.”
She giggles as she shakes her head, but then she pauses, holding her gut. “Blah, I think I’m gonna barf.”
“Really?” I ask, a little surprised. But then, she did eat a lot of ice cream. And really, I don’t play around with sex. I get it done.
She swallows hard. “I think I pushed it back down.”
“How romantic.” I’m feeling a little queasy now too.
She sticks her tongue out at me and then shakes her head. “I think I’m good.”
“Oh, good.”
“Anyway…”
“Yes, what are we being honest about?” I ask and she sets me with a look. “You want me to come to New Jersey with you? Meet your parents, beat your brothers up if they’re mean to you?”
She laughs. “I would never ask that of you. Those people are nuts. Plus, you have a game Friday.”
“This is true.”
“Okay, so shut up and let me talk.”
“Well, talk,” I say and she rolls her eyes.
“I’m trying!” I laugh at the frustration all over her face. She’s so cute when her face is red and her eyes go wild. They turn such an awesome green color and take my breath away. Honestly.
Yeah, our lives are going a hundred miles an hour and may be going in different directions, but nothing can keep us apart. No matter what. I’ve been thinking like mad since we left the record company this afternoon, and I know it’s going to be hard. That we may be apart a lot, but we can do it. Hell, Jude and Claire have been doing just that and they are fine. We’ll figure it out because you fight for love. You fight like there are ten seconds left on the clock and you’re down a goal. You don’t give up, and I won’t give up on this girl. Too many people have failed her, and I won’t be one of them.
Pulling back, her face fills with a sweet pink color as her eyes lock with mine. “Are you done interrupting me?”
I eye her. “So no to a second round?” I say, waggling my brows seductively, but she only glares.
“No. Let me talk!”
“Fine! Talk,” I yell back playfully and she grins before I take her mouth with mine.
She starts to pull away, but I grasp her breast in my hand. “You really still wanna talk?”
Sucking in a deep breath, she swallows hard and looks deep into my eyes. “I don’t know if I want to be a performer.”
Now that makes me stop. “Huh?”
“Like, when I was in the meeting, he said he doesn’t know if he can sell my voice. It wasn’t the first time I’ve heard that.”
My brow rises. “I love your voice.”
“Yeah, but some don’t. They say it’s too raspy. And while we both think it’s great, I don’t know if I can put myself out there to be hated.”
“I’m confused. I thought you wanted this. Why does it matter what people think?”
She nods. “God, yes, I do. But I think I want to be behind the scenes. I love performing at the coffee shop and downtown, but lately, my anxiety has been really bad. The other day I forgot the words to one of my songs ’cause people started to leave.”
I wasn’t there, but she told me what had happened. She was a wreck about it, but I didn’t think anything of it. Maybe I should have. “Yeah, but that’s only a few people. If it’s your dream to be onstage, do it.”
She shrugs, her eyes full of nervousness that I really don’t understand. “That’s the thing. I don’t know if it is. I love writing. I love spilling my soul out into a song. But I don’t know. Lately, I’ve been real anxious onstage. Well, no, I love being at the coffee shop, mainly because those people love me, but downtown has been hard for me. That’s another reason I feel I have to go see my doctor in New Jersey. I think they need to up my meds.”
“I didn’t know,” I whisper, moving my hand from her breast to her jaw. “Is there anything I can do to help? I feel bad ’cause I haven’t been able to go lately.”
She shakes her head. “No, please don’t. It’s just… I’ve been thinking a lot about what Stu said, and maybe I should just stay behind the scenes. Write the music and let the performer worry about the stress and shit that comes from being out there.”
I get what she’s saying, and it’s smart. But at the same time, I want her to follow her dreams. I don’t want her to regret anything. I don’t want her to hold back her awesomeness. But I nod and look back up at her. “So you don’t want to be the Carrie Underwood to my Mike Fisher?”
She grins as she shrugs. “I don’t know. A part of me does, but the other part doesn’t. I just don’t know.”
She looks nervous, maybe a little anxious, and that, in turn, makes me nervous. I don’t want her to worry. I want her to love life and enjoy it, but I know that’s hard for her. She has to have a sense of control over everything. I get it, I do, but I don’t want her to regret this later. Swallowing hard, I look deep into her eyes. “I support whatever you want, Avery. But please promise me you’ll do what makes you happy.” When her mouth lifts at the side, my other hand comes up to wrap around her neck. “That’s all I care about, you being happy. If you want to be onstage, then, baby, I’m there, front row. If you want to write chart-toppers, then I’ll sit front row at the Grammys beside you. You just have to tell me what you want. Trust and believe, I’ll be right there with you through it all.”
