“Avery, no, that’s good. In the last minute, you’ve shared more with me than you have in the six weeks I’ve known you.”
Biting into my lip, I close my eyes. “Sorry. I know that was crazy, but I’m just so hurt.” I fall onto my bed and let the tears go. “I trusted him. Depended on him. And yeah, it’s only been a month or so, but I thought this was real.”
“Don’t give up yet,” she says, getting up and coming over to me. “You’re mad and hurt. I’m sure once you cool off and really analyze everything that happened, you’ll…” She pauses and I glance at her.
“Realize that I’m overreacting?”
She shrugs, a forgiving smile on her face. “Just a tad bit.”
“Yeah, but it’s such a sore spot for me.”
“I understand that.”
“He didn’t even try to comfort me as I was spilling my soul to him. I saw it in his eyes. All he cared about was that my dad could ruin him.”
“Well, Avery, he’s been working years to get to the NHL. You can’t really blame him. When you want something so badly and something threatens that, you really don’t think straight,” she says. I don’t want to get mad at her, but I’m pretty sure she’s taking Jace’s side. “I mean, look. He put a hole in our door because you wanted to remove yourself from the equation of you two. He freaked. Is that right? No, he could have done it a different way. But he was still honest with you. Like you would want any other time.”
Okay, maybe she’s right in that respect, but what does that mean? Do I call and tell him I made a mistake? Do I apologize? Shaking my head, I get up and go to my closet. “I need time to think.”
“Yeah, you do,” she agrees and I look back at her.
I go to say more, but then I notice her eyes are bloodshot, her cheeks covered in dried tears. Raising my brows, I ask, “You weren’t crying over all this? This is my problem.”
She shakes her head. “Nope, just like you, today has sucked for me too.”
Coming to the bed, I lean my hip against my bedpost, wiping my face free of the tears that are drying to my face. “What happened?”
She sucks in a breath and soon tears are spilling over her cheeks. Surprised, I fall onto the bed, taking her hand with mine as she waves me off with the other. “It’s dumb.”
“No, it can’t be if you’re crying. What happened?”
She bites into her lip and lets out a breath. “Markus and I were seeing each other, right?”
Oh shit, she said, “were.” Damn it, I thought things were good for them, but obviously, I was wrong. Just like I was with Jace, I guess. But, no, even I know that isn’t true. Ignoring my own issues, I say, “Yeah.”
“Well, Tuesday night we went out and he put the moves on me. I told him I wasn’t ready to do that because I wanted to get to know him better. You know, I’m not that kind of girl—but I’m not saying you are,” she says quickly and my lips curve. Not into a smile, because believe me, I will probably never smile again, but a smirk, nonetheless. “Anyway, he was cool with it, or so I thought, because he just texted me this morning and said he was really sorry, he couldn’t see me anymore. I asked why. And he said, ‘Because I slept with your sister last night.’”
My jaw drops. “What?”
“Yeah.”
“No, what? Markus slept with your sister?”
Bubbling with a sob, she nods. “Yeah, and when I asked Skylar about it, she said it was a mistake, they were drunk. But it really doesn’t matter ’cause we weren’t together anyway.” The hole in my chest widens as I wrap my arms around her. “It doesn’t matter that we weren’t together, I love him. I’ve always loved him.”
Her sobs shake her body against mine and I just hold her, my own tears rushing down my face again and into her hair. “I’m so sorry.”
Shaking her head, she cuddles into me. “But unlike Jace, neither Markus nor Skylar are trying to tear my door down to apologize or make things better. Instead, I’ve been in this room crying all day. So make sure you think that over. Realize that not everyone has a Jace chasing them. And yeah, he may choose his words wrong, but his actions speak louder. And there is nothing more important than you where his love is concerned.”
Her words rock my soul as I gather her tighter into my arms. I feel horrible for her, and I, of course, wish Markus to the fiery depths of hell, but I also feel horrible for Jace.
This whole time I was worried he’d break my heart. But really, I’m pretty darn sure I broke his instead.
The irony of it is suffocating.
But what a great melody it could become… Because as much as I think I walked away and let him go, I know our love song isn’t over.
It can’t be.
I didn’t sleep well last night.
Mainly because I kept replaying our conversation over and over again. I dissected each word. The way he looked at me. The way his body was so taut. He was nervous, scared. And I understand that, but I ripped myself open, letting him see everything. And it wasn’t enough. I see the conversation between him and Caleb, and the pain is just overwhelming.
Especially since he hasn’t texted me since he left my door.
I thought at the time I was making the right decision. I’m so tired of being second best, of being the afterthought. But now, maybe I’m going about this all wrong. He was visibly upset, and now that I’ve spent most of the night thinking about it, I know he was trying to talk to me. Trying to figure out where to go from where we were. And instead of moving with him, I just shut down. I assumed the worst, with good reason, and called it off.
He needed reassurance, not me freaking the fuck out, but all I saw was him leaving me.
And that can’t happen.
Even though it kind of has.
Will he even talk to me?
I don’t know, but I feel like I’m dying and I haven’t even hurt myself. Nor do I want to. Which is huge for me. What I want is to know the truth, I want to have the facts, and the only way I can have those is by confronting my father, my brothers. I’m not sure what is going to happen and that scares me, but before I even try to apologize to Jace, reassure him that we are good, I need to get home and talk to my family.
But when I get home, no one is there.
Biting into my lip, I close my eyes. “Sorry. I know that was crazy, but I’m just so hurt.” I fall onto my bed and let the tears go. “I trusted him. Depended on him. And yeah, it’s only been a month or so, but I thought this was real.”
“Don’t give up yet,” she says, getting up and coming over to me. “You’re mad and hurt. I’m sure once you cool off and really analyze everything that happened, you’ll…” She pauses and I glance at her.
“Realize that I’m overreacting?”
She shrugs, a forgiving smile on her face. “Just a tad bit.”
“Yeah, but it’s such a sore spot for me.”
“I understand that.”
“He didn’t even try to comfort me as I was spilling my soul to him. I saw it in his eyes. All he cared about was that my dad could ruin him.”
“Well, Avery, he’s been working years to get to the NHL. You can’t really blame him. When you want something so badly and something threatens that, you really don’t think straight,” she says. I don’t want to get mad at her, but I’m pretty sure she’s taking Jace’s side. “I mean, look. He put a hole in our door because you wanted to remove yourself from the equation of you two. He freaked. Is that right? No, he could have done it a different way. But he was still honest with you. Like you would want any other time.”
Okay, maybe she’s right in that respect, but what does that mean? Do I call and tell him I made a mistake? Do I apologize? Shaking my head, I get up and go to my closet. “I need time to think.”
“Yeah, you do,” she agrees and I look back at her.
I go to say more, but then I notice her eyes are bloodshot, her cheeks covered in dried tears. Raising my brows, I ask, “You weren’t crying over all this? This is my problem.”
She shakes her head. “Nope, just like you, today has sucked for me too.”
Coming to the bed, I lean my hip against my bedpost, wiping my face free of the tears that are drying to my face. “What happened?”
She sucks in a breath and soon tears are spilling over her cheeks. Surprised, I fall onto the bed, taking her hand with mine as she waves me off with the other. “It’s dumb.”
“No, it can’t be if you’re crying. What happened?”
She bites into her lip and lets out a breath. “Markus and I were seeing each other, right?”
Oh shit, she said, “were.” Damn it, I thought things were good for them, but obviously, I was wrong. Just like I was with Jace, I guess. But, no, even I know that isn’t true. Ignoring my own issues, I say, “Yeah.”
“Well, Tuesday night we went out and he put the moves on me. I told him I wasn’t ready to do that because I wanted to get to know him better. You know, I’m not that kind of girl—but I’m not saying you are,” she says quickly and my lips curve. Not into a smile, because believe me, I will probably never smile again, but a smirk, nonetheless. “Anyway, he was cool with it, or so I thought, because he just texted me this morning and said he was really sorry, he couldn’t see me anymore. I asked why. And he said, ‘Because I slept with your sister last night.’”
My jaw drops. “What?”
“Yeah.”
“No, what? Markus slept with your sister?”
Bubbling with a sob, she nods. “Yeah, and when I asked Skylar about it, she said it was a mistake, they were drunk. But it really doesn’t matter ’cause we weren’t together anyway.” The hole in my chest widens as I wrap my arms around her. “It doesn’t matter that we weren’t together, I love him. I’ve always loved him.”
Her sobs shake her body against mine and I just hold her, my own tears rushing down my face again and into her hair. “I’m so sorry.”
Shaking her head, she cuddles into me. “But unlike Jace, neither Markus nor Skylar are trying to tear my door down to apologize or make things better. Instead, I’ve been in this room crying all day. So make sure you think that over. Realize that not everyone has a Jace chasing them. And yeah, he may choose his words wrong, but his actions speak louder. And there is nothing more important than you where his love is concerned.”
Her words rock my soul as I gather her tighter into my arms. I feel horrible for her, and I, of course, wish Markus to the fiery depths of hell, but I also feel horrible for Jace.
This whole time I was worried he’d break my heart. But really, I’m pretty darn sure I broke his instead.
The irony of it is suffocating.
But what a great melody it could become… Because as much as I think I walked away and let him go, I know our love song isn’t over.
It can’t be.
I didn’t sleep well last night.
Mainly because I kept replaying our conversation over and over again. I dissected each word. The way he looked at me. The way his body was so taut. He was nervous, scared. And I understand that, but I ripped myself open, letting him see everything. And it wasn’t enough. I see the conversation between him and Caleb, and the pain is just overwhelming.
Especially since he hasn’t texted me since he left my door.
I thought at the time I was making the right decision. I’m so tired of being second best, of being the afterthought. But now, maybe I’m going about this all wrong. He was visibly upset, and now that I’ve spent most of the night thinking about it, I know he was trying to talk to me. Trying to figure out where to go from where we were. And instead of moving with him, I just shut down. I assumed the worst, with good reason, and called it off.
He needed reassurance, not me freaking the fuck out, but all I saw was him leaving me.
And that can’t happen.
Even though it kind of has.
Will he even talk to me?
I don’t know, but I feel like I’m dying and I haven’t even hurt myself. Nor do I want to. Which is huge for me. What I want is to know the truth, I want to have the facts, and the only way I can have those is by confronting my father, my brothers. I’m not sure what is going to happen and that scares me, but before I even try to apologize to Jace, reassure him that we are good, I need to get home and talk to my family.
But when I get home, no one is there.
