“I don’t know that I’m ready to admit that yet. It’s all wrong between us.”
Emma waved her hand back and forth. “Trust me, there are no spectacles.” Emma frowned. “No, wait, that’s not the right word.” She laughed. “Obstacles. There’s the word I was looking for. There’s no obstacles that can’t be overcome between two people who truly want to be together.”
Jane raised her glass. “I’ll drink to that.”
And they did. More than once.
Chapter 18
LOGAN WAS SITTING on the deck outside his bedroom when he saw Luke’s truck driving past the house. It was late. He pulled out his phone to see it was past midnight. He headed downstairs and waited about twenty minutes.
Luke pulled up to the house and got out, then headed up to the porch where Logan had pulled up a seat.
“Raiding my cattle?” Logan asked.
Luke’s lips curved. “Making a delivery.”
Logan cocked a brow.
“Dropping your drunk girlfriend off.”
“Drunk, huh?”
“Girls’ night. I had to drive her, Chelsea, and Jane home.”
Logan nodded. “Bet that was fun.”
“You have no idea. The three of them babbled all the way to Jane’s house about nail polish colors. Then after I dropped Jane off, Des and Chelsea played some movie-trivia game. After Chelsea’s drop-off, Des talked to me nonstop the whole way here.”
“About nail polish?”
“Even worse. About you.”
“Huh.” Logan looked out over the dirt road toward the barn. “Care to elaborate?”
“Not particularly.”
“Okay.” He’d really hate to beat the shit out of his little brother, but if it came to that, he would.
The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes.
“You gonna tell me or not?” Logan finally asked.
“About?”
“Des.”
“What about Des?”
“Goddammit, Luke.”
Luke let out a short laugh. “I’m going to preface this by telling you she was pretty toasted, so she’ll probably be embarrassed tomorrow by all the babbling she was doing about you.”
That made him feel a little better, especially considering she hadn’t given him the time of day in the past week. “What did she say?”
“She’s confused.” Luke turned to face him. “What the hell did you do to upset her?”
“I was a dickhead.”
“That’s not unusual for you.”
“Funny. She stayed the day after the Fourth of July to work at the ranch. I was hard on her.”
Luke folded his arms. “So you didn’t give her the typical McCormack Day at the Ranch treatment.”
“No. I mean I treated her like shit, pushed her hard all day long.”
Luke didn’t say anything for a few minutes. “To see if she’d run like hell? Like Mom?”
Funny how everyone had spotted it right off. Except him. “I didn’t even notice I was doing it. Ben did, though. And now you.”
“You’ve never done that with any other woman.”
“No.”
“So why Des?”
“Hell if I know.”
“Don’t you? She means something to you.”
Logan stood and went to the porch railing to look out over the land before turning to face his brother. “How could she mean something to me? You know who she is, what she does for a living.”
“So? Why would that even matter if you care about her?”
“You went through it with Becca. Dad went through it with Mom. City girls don’t belong on the ranch.”
“That’s bullshit, Logan, and you know it. If she’s the right woman and she loves you, it won’t matter what she does for a living. Becca wasn’t the right choice for me. It wouldn’t have mattered where she and I lived. She hated the life I chose. And Mom should have never married Dad. She knew ahead of time what her life was going to be like. Dad showed her what a life on the ranch was going to be, yet she chose it, and then she was miserable, and made everyone around her miserable, too.”
Logan shook his head. “What Des and I have together is something . . . fun, you know? It just got out of hand that day, and I need to apologize to her for being so hard on her. We need to get back to having fun together.”
“Yeah, because God forbid you should actually fall in love with someone, make a commitment and ask someone to share your life. You might actually be happy.”
Logan narrowed his gaze at Luke. “Hey, screw you. I know what I’m doing.”
“Do you? Because it seems to me you don’t have a f**king clue.”
Luke pushed up to stand, then headed toward the stairs. He stopped beside Logan and laid his hand on Logan’s shoulder.
“Think about what’s important to you, Logan, what you want for your future. Think about what’s going to happen when that movie’s done, the trailers leave, and Des is gone. Are you going to be okay with that?”
Logan’s stomach tightened at the thought of her being gone, of not seeing her ever again.
“I’ll be just fine when she leaves.”
Luke squeezed his shoulder. “Sure you will. Hey, I’m going to head home to my gorgeous, drunk, and probably passed-out fiancée. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Yeah, okay. Thanks for bringing Des back.”
“No problem.” Luke headed down the stairs and got into his truck, then rolled down the window. “Hey, Logan?”
Logan walked down the steps and stopped at Luke’s truck. “Yeah.”
“You do realize you just thanked me for bringing your girl back, right? For someone who claims not to care, you sure seem to care.”
Shit. “Night, Luke.”
Luke’s lips curved. “Night, Logan.”
Chapter 19
DES WOKE WITH a blistering headache and a mouth that tasted like she’d ingested the entirety of the hot, dry dirt on the ranch.
Bleh. She slid out of bed and headed into the kitchen for the largest glass she could find, then consumed two full glasses of water.
That helped. Next, she made a cup of coffee and poured some juice.
Now semi-awake, she downed two acetaminophen and swore she’d never drink wine again.
After taking a shower and finding craft services so she could consume some carbs, she felt nearly human again.
“Hey.” A set of arms wrapped around her. She smiled as Colt kissed her cheek.
She turned around. “Hey, yourself.”
“You look like crap.”
She laughed. “Thanks. I feel like crap.”
“I thought a spa day was supposed to make you look and feel rejuvenated, not like you just crawled through the desert.”
“Ha ha. The spa day was fun. It was the three-bottles-of-wine night that did me in.”
“Ah. Yeah, damn that wine. Come to my trailer and tell me all about it. We don’t have call for another hour.”
“Thank God for that. I’m going to need some cucumbers on my eyes.” As they passed the craft services table, she snatched a pastry. “And another croissant.”
“I have one of those gel eye packs in my fridge,” Colt said as he led her into his trailer. “It’ll do wonders for the dark circles and bags under your eyes. And the splitting headache you no doubt have.”
Leave it to Colt to be brutally honest about her appearance. But that’s why she loved him.
“Thanks.” She slid onto his sofa and picked off a piece of the croissant, letting its buttery deliciousness melt in her mouth. While she ate, she filled him in on her day and night with the girls.
“Should I be jealous I’m being replaced with new girlfriends?” he teased, putting a glass of lemon water in front of her.
“Thanks. And no. You know I’ll always love you best.” She made a kissy face at him.
“Of course you will. Girls will never tell you when you look hideous.”
She tore off another piece of croissant. “So true.”
“Or that you should stop eating that oh-my-god-it’s-too-many-calories-and-your-butt-is-going-to-get-huge croissant.”
She stuck her tongue out at him. “That’s probably fact, but this morning, I don’t even care. This damn thing tastes like it’s saving me from the fiery pit of hell.”
Colt grabbed his cup of coffee and sat next to her. “That bad a hangover, huh?”
“Yes. That bad.”
“Poor baby.”
“I know. We were talking and drinking, talking and drinking, and the next thing you know, Emma’s fiancé Luke is bringing me back here, and I’m spilling my guts to him about how I’m crazy about his brother. I talked his ear off about Logan the whole drive from Emma’s house to here. Like thirty-five minutes of me blathering on nonstop about how his brother doesn’t understand me. Ugh. I was a hideous basket case. Poor Luke. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to face him again.”
Colt laughed. “That’s awesome, Des.”
“It was not awesome. I was very much a girl last night.”
“A girl who’s crazy about Logan. I’m sure Luke understood.”
She was disgusted with herself for behaving like that, and for telling Logan’s brother, of all people, how she felt. What was wrong with her?
“Enough about me. Tell me what you did yesterday.”
Colt looked down at his coffee, then up at her. “I had a long Skype session with Tony.”
“Oh, that’s sweet. I’m so glad.”
“He just heard that he’s going to be the cinematographer on Shapes in the Darkness.”
Des laid her croissant down. “Is he? The paranormal you’re starring in with Alexis Green?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s awesome. Think of all the time the two of you will be able to spend together while you’re filming.”
He nodded, then stared down at his coffee again. Des frowned. “Colt? Is something wrong?”
“No. Nothing’s wrong. Actually, for the first time in a very long time, everything is starting to feel right.” He lifted his gaze to hers. “I’m going to come out, Des. I decided yesterday.”
Her eyes widened. “You did? Did you talk about it with Tony?”
“Yes. After he told me about the movie, I decided enough was enough. I don’t care what my management team says. I want to be with Tony—really be with him. We’re going to be on a movie set together, and I don’t want to sneak around on set or pretend we don’t care about each other.”
She grasped his hand. “I’m so glad.”
“I’m terrified, Des.”
She leaned into him and put her arms around him. “Don’t be scared, Colt. People will still love you as much as they do now.”
“You know that’s not true. I’ll lose some fans once they find out I’m gay.”
She took a deep breath and let it out. “You’re right. You will. Some people won’t be able to see past the homosexuality to recognize that you’re still the same person, that you’re still the same outstanding actor you’ve always been, that the love scenes and chemistry you’ve shared with all the actresses you’ve worked with over the years has been just that—acting—just as it would be with any hetero-sexual actor who does a love scene with some actress, then goes home to his wife or his girlfriend. It’s unfortunate that who someone loves has to be the world’s business, but to some people, it matters.”
She laid her head on his shoulder. “But to the people who love you, the people close to you in your personal life, and all your fans who adore you that really count—it won’t matter at all who you love, Colt. They won’t care who you go home to at night, because they love your movies.”
She heard his shaky sigh.
“God, I hope so, Des. I really hope so. My entire career depends on this.”
She grasped his jaw and turned his face toward hers. “I love you. I always have and I always will. And you know whenever and however you choose to do this, I will be there for you, standing beside you, supporting you.”
“Thank you. I don’t know what I’d have done without you in my life all these years.”
She saw the tears shimmering in his eyes, and she pulled him close and hugged him tight.
Colt had always been there for her when she needed him. Now was her chance to be there for him.
“Have you thought about how you’re going to do it?”
“I don’t know yet. I haven’t told my management team yet. They’re not going to be happy.”
She shrugged. “The bottom line is, they can advise you, but it’s your career and you get to make the decisions. Then they’ll have to deal with the fallout. If there is any.”
“Oh, there’ll be fallout. You know there’ll be at least some. If not a lot.”
“Don’t borrow trouble when there might not be any. This is all going to work out for you. For Tony. Then all this hiding and skulking around in the shadows will be over, and you can live your life out and proud. Tony can finally move into that sweet little house of yours, and the two of you can make a life together, like you’ve always dreamed about.”
Colt smiled. “I like the sound of that.”
“Hang on to that, and think about being free.”
He laid his head against hers. “Honey, it’s the only thing I’m thinking about.”
Emma waved her hand back and forth. “Trust me, there are no spectacles.” Emma frowned. “No, wait, that’s not the right word.” She laughed. “Obstacles. There’s the word I was looking for. There’s no obstacles that can’t be overcome between two people who truly want to be together.”
Jane raised her glass. “I’ll drink to that.”
And they did. More than once.
Chapter 18
LOGAN WAS SITTING on the deck outside his bedroom when he saw Luke’s truck driving past the house. It was late. He pulled out his phone to see it was past midnight. He headed downstairs and waited about twenty minutes.
Luke pulled up to the house and got out, then headed up to the porch where Logan had pulled up a seat.
“Raiding my cattle?” Logan asked.
Luke’s lips curved. “Making a delivery.”
Logan cocked a brow.
“Dropping your drunk girlfriend off.”
“Drunk, huh?”
“Girls’ night. I had to drive her, Chelsea, and Jane home.”
Logan nodded. “Bet that was fun.”
“You have no idea. The three of them babbled all the way to Jane’s house about nail polish colors. Then after I dropped Jane off, Des and Chelsea played some movie-trivia game. After Chelsea’s drop-off, Des talked to me nonstop the whole way here.”
“About nail polish?”
“Even worse. About you.”
“Huh.” Logan looked out over the dirt road toward the barn. “Care to elaborate?”
“Not particularly.”
“Okay.” He’d really hate to beat the shit out of his little brother, but if it came to that, he would.
The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes.
“You gonna tell me or not?” Logan finally asked.
“About?”
“Des.”
“What about Des?”
“Goddammit, Luke.”
Luke let out a short laugh. “I’m going to preface this by telling you she was pretty toasted, so she’ll probably be embarrassed tomorrow by all the babbling she was doing about you.”
That made him feel a little better, especially considering she hadn’t given him the time of day in the past week. “What did she say?”
“She’s confused.” Luke turned to face him. “What the hell did you do to upset her?”
“I was a dickhead.”
“That’s not unusual for you.”
“Funny. She stayed the day after the Fourth of July to work at the ranch. I was hard on her.”
Luke folded his arms. “So you didn’t give her the typical McCormack Day at the Ranch treatment.”
“No. I mean I treated her like shit, pushed her hard all day long.”
Luke didn’t say anything for a few minutes. “To see if she’d run like hell? Like Mom?”
Funny how everyone had spotted it right off. Except him. “I didn’t even notice I was doing it. Ben did, though. And now you.”
“You’ve never done that with any other woman.”
“No.”
“So why Des?”
“Hell if I know.”
“Don’t you? She means something to you.”
Logan stood and went to the porch railing to look out over the land before turning to face his brother. “How could she mean something to me? You know who she is, what she does for a living.”
“So? Why would that even matter if you care about her?”
“You went through it with Becca. Dad went through it with Mom. City girls don’t belong on the ranch.”
“That’s bullshit, Logan, and you know it. If she’s the right woman and she loves you, it won’t matter what she does for a living. Becca wasn’t the right choice for me. It wouldn’t have mattered where she and I lived. She hated the life I chose. And Mom should have never married Dad. She knew ahead of time what her life was going to be like. Dad showed her what a life on the ranch was going to be, yet she chose it, and then she was miserable, and made everyone around her miserable, too.”
Logan shook his head. “What Des and I have together is something . . . fun, you know? It just got out of hand that day, and I need to apologize to her for being so hard on her. We need to get back to having fun together.”
“Yeah, because God forbid you should actually fall in love with someone, make a commitment and ask someone to share your life. You might actually be happy.”
Logan narrowed his gaze at Luke. “Hey, screw you. I know what I’m doing.”
“Do you? Because it seems to me you don’t have a f**king clue.”
Luke pushed up to stand, then headed toward the stairs. He stopped beside Logan and laid his hand on Logan’s shoulder.
“Think about what’s important to you, Logan, what you want for your future. Think about what’s going to happen when that movie’s done, the trailers leave, and Des is gone. Are you going to be okay with that?”
Logan’s stomach tightened at the thought of her being gone, of not seeing her ever again.
“I’ll be just fine when she leaves.”
Luke squeezed his shoulder. “Sure you will. Hey, I’m going to head home to my gorgeous, drunk, and probably passed-out fiancée. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Yeah, okay. Thanks for bringing Des back.”
“No problem.” Luke headed down the stairs and got into his truck, then rolled down the window. “Hey, Logan?”
Logan walked down the steps and stopped at Luke’s truck. “Yeah.”
“You do realize you just thanked me for bringing your girl back, right? For someone who claims not to care, you sure seem to care.”
Shit. “Night, Luke.”
Luke’s lips curved. “Night, Logan.”
Chapter 19
DES WOKE WITH a blistering headache and a mouth that tasted like she’d ingested the entirety of the hot, dry dirt on the ranch.
Bleh. She slid out of bed and headed into the kitchen for the largest glass she could find, then consumed two full glasses of water.
That helped. Next, she made a cup of coffee and poured some juice.
Now semi-awake, she downed two acetaminophen and swore she’d never drink wine again.
After taking a shower and finding craft services so she could consume some carbs, she felt nearly human again.
“Hey.” A set of arms wrapped around her. She smiled as Colt kissed her cheek.
She turned around. “Hey, yourself.”
“You look like crap.”
She laughed. “Thanks. I feel like crap.”
“I thought a spa day was supposed to make you look and feel rejuvenated, not like you just crawled through the desert.”
“Ha ha. The spa day was fun. It was the three-bottles-of-wine night that did me in.”
“Ah. Yeah, damn that wine. Come to my trailer and tell me all about it. We don’t have call for another hour.”
“Thank God for that. I’m going to need some cucumbers on my eyes.” As they passed the craft services table, she snatched a pastry. “And another croissant.”
“I have one of those gel eye packs in my fridge,” Colt said as he led her into his trailer. “It’ll do wonders for the dark circles and bags under your eyes. And the splitting headache you no doubt have.”
Leave it to Colt to be brutally honest about her appearance. But that’s why she loved him.
“Thanks.” She slid onto his sofa and picked off a piece of the croissant, letting its buttery deliciousness melt in her mouth. While she ate, she filled him in on her day and night with the girls.
“Should I be jealous I’m being replaced with new girlfriends?” he teased, putting a glass of lemon water in front of her.
“Thanks. And no. You know I’ll always love you best.” She made a kissy face at him.
“Of course you will. Girls will never tell you when you look hideous.”
She tore off another piece of croissant. “So true.”
“Or that you should stop eating that oh-my-god-it’s-too-many-calories-and-your-butt-is-going-to-get-huge croissant.”
She stuck her tongue out at him. “That’s probably fact, but this morning, I don’t even care. This damn thing tastes like it’s saving me from the fiery pit of hell.”
Colt grabbed his cup of coffee and sat next to her. “That bad a hangover, huh?”
“Yes. That bad.”
“Poor baby.”
“I know. We were talking and drinking, talking and drinking, and the next thing you know, Emma’s fiancé Luke is bringing me back here, and I’m spilling my guts to him about how I’m crazy about his brother. I talked his ear off about Logan the whole drive from Emma’s house to here. Like thirty-five minutes of me blathering on nonstop about how his brother doesn’t understand me. Ugh. I was a hideous basket case. Poor Luke. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to face him again.”
Colt laughed. “That’s awesome, Des.”
“It was not awesome. I was very much a girl last night.”
“A girl who’s crazy about Logan. I’m sure Luke understood.”
She was disgusted with herself for behaving like that, and for telling Logan’s brother, of all people, how she felt. What was wrong with her?
“Enough about me. Tell me what you did yesterday.”
Colt looked down at his coffee, then up at her. “I had a long Skype session with Tony.”
“Oh, that’s sweet. I’m so glad.”
“He just heard that he’s going to be the cinematographer on Shapes in the Darkness.”
Des laid her croissant down. “Is he? The paranormal you’re starring in with Alexis Green?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s awesome. Think of all the time the two of you will be able to spend together while you’re filming.”
He nodded, then stared down at his coffee again. Des frowned. “Colt? Is something wrong?”
“No. Nothing’s wrong. Actually, for the first time in a very long time, everything is starting to feel right.” He lifted his gaze to hers. “I’m going to come out, Des. I decided yesterday.”
Her eyes widened. “You did? Did you talk about it with Tony?”
“Yes. After he told me about the movie, I decided enough was enough. I don’t care what my management team says. I want to be with Tony—really be with him. We’re going to be on a movie set together, and I don’t want to sneak around on set or pretend we don’t care about each other.”
She grasped his hand. “I’m so glad.”
“I’m terrified, Des.”
She leaned into him and put her arms around him. “Don’t be scared, Colt. People will still love you as much as they do now.”
“You know that’s not true. I’ll lose some fans once they find out I’m gay.”
She took a deep breath and let it out. “You’re right. You will. Some people won’t be able to see past the homosexuality to recognize that you’re still the same person, that you’re still the same outstanding actor you’ve always been, that the love scenes and chemistry you’ve shared with all the actresses you’ve worked with over the years has been just that—acting—just as it would be with any hetero-sexual actor who does a love scene with some actress, then goes home to his wife or his girlfriend. It’s unfortunate that who someone loves has to be the world’s business, but to some people, it matters.”
She laid her head on his shoulder. “But to the people who love you, the people close to you in your personal life, and all your fans who adore you that really count—it won’t matter at all who you love, Colt. They won’t care who you go home to at night, because they love your movies.”
She heard his shaky sigh.
“God, I hope so, Des. I really hope so. My entire career depends on this.”
She grasped his jaw and turned his face toward hers. “I love you. I always have and I always will. And you know whenever and however you choose to do this, I will be there for you, standing beside you, supporting you.”
“Thank you. I don’t know what I’d have done without you in my life all these years.”
She saw the tears shimmering in his eyes, and she pulled him close and hugged him tight.
Colt had always been there for her when she needed him. Now was her chance to be there for him.
“Have you thought about how you’re going to do it?”
“I don’t know yet. I haven’t told my management team yet. They’re not going to be happy.”
She shrugged. “The bottom line is, they can advise you, but it’s your career and you get to make the decisions. Then they’ll have to deal with the fallout. If there is any.”
“Oh, there’ll be fallout. You know there’ll be at least some. If not a lot.”
“Don’t borrow trouble when there might not be any. This is all going to work out for you. For Tony. Then all this hiding and skulking around in the shadows will be over, and you can live your life out and proud. Tony can finally move into that sweet little house of yours, and the two of you can make a life together, like you’ve always dreamed about.”
Colt smiled. “I like the sound of that.”
“Hang on to that, and think about being free.”
He laid his head against hers. “Honey, it’s the only thing I’m thinking about.”
