I quirk a brow. “You didn’t go into the living room yet, did you?”
Her eyes light up with the realization that there are presents with her name on them waiting just in the other room. She turns as if preparing to sprint.
“Wait!” I plead. “Help me bake first. Please? We’ll go look at your gifts in a minute.”
She groans and I can tell she really wants to go see her presents, but something in my tone must tip her off to the things I’m not saying, to the memories we tiptoe around so carefully, because she relents and walks over to me. Her arms wrap around my waist and she rests her head against my shoulder.
“Merry Christmas, Bailey,” she says wistfully.
I lean down and kiss her forehead. “Merry Christmas, Josie.”
I’m excited to go to Matt’s parents’ house for Christmas, but I wish he’d sprung it on me a little earlier, like maybe before all the stores closed. I would have liked to bring his mom something: a candle, a tea towel—I don’t know. I’ve never had a boyfriend, therefore I’ve never had to impress a boyfriend’s mom, so I’m just going off of what I think Reese Witherspoon or Joanna Gaines would do, and they’d sure as shit bring a gift for Mrs. Russell.
Matt assures me it doesn’t matter, but when I persist, he caves and we swing by his place for some wine on our way to their house. I feel a lot better cradling that bottle on my lap. Josie also helped me bake snowball cookies after breakfast, so between the two gifts, Mrs. Russell will have to like me. Right?
At least I look the part. I’m wearing a red cashmere sweater. I’ve never owned anything cashmere before and holy heck, how is this material so soft? The sweater was a gift from Josie. When I opened it this morning my first thought was, OMG I LOVE IT. My second thought was, Oh god, how did Josie afford this? I might have accused her of petty theft before she clued me in to the fact that she’s been shoveling the snow off Ms. Murphy’s sidewalk and taking out her trash for the last two months so she could afford to buy me something. It was such a sweet gesture that I cried. Josie told me to get it together, but the tears just kept coming. This morning has been one emotional gut punch after another. Like for instance, Matt somehow managed to sneak away long enough in the last few days to get both Josie and me a gift. I wasn’t expecting anything, but when he produced a present for each of us, the tears were back.
Josie groaned. “Honestly, do you need a minute to compose yourself?”
“No! I’m fine. I swear!” I protested, snot running down my face. “Here, let me use your pajamas to wipe my nose.”
Josie opened her gift first.
“It’s a journal,” Matt said, somewhat nervously. “I thought since you enjoy reading so much, you might enjoy writing as well.”
What’s that painful feeling? Oh yes, it’s my heart swelling to ten times its normal size and encroaching on all my other organs.
He brushed the back of his neck self-consciously. “Also, there’s a Barnes & Noble gift card in the bottom of the bag, just in case you hate that.”
Josie—the girl who has never once had a difficult time finding words—was speechless. She stared down at the journal and nodded. Matt cleared his throat and picked up his empty coffee cup, inspected the contents, and then set it back down.
“Also, I have the receipt in my wallet if—”
She shook her head quickly. “No! It’s perfect.”
Then she cradled it against her chest like it was a baby bird as Matt leaned forward to grab a tiny red gift bag off the coffee table for me. I took it from him with a smile and started tugging out tissue paper carefully. At the very bottom there was a small black velvet box.
A ring box.
OH MY GOD. WHOA. TOO SOON. BUT YES OKAY!
I yanked that sucker out of there and whipped it open, a YES locked and loaded on my tongue right up until my eyes registered that there were not one but two twinkling diamonds nestled in the box, and they were attached to studs, not a band.
“Earrings,” I said slowly, instantly regretting not showing more enthusiasm.
THEY’RE DIAMOND-FREAKING-EARRINGS, BAILEY! Get it together!
“I know jewelry is sort of cliché, but since you always wear your hair up at work—”
Josie put up her hand to stop him from continuing. “Every girl wants diamonds. You did good.”
“Bailey?” he asked.
My mouth opened and words were supposed to be spilling out, but my brain couldn’t quite handle the shock of the last few minutes. I literally thought Matt was proposing to me after like a week of dating. I’ve gone mad.
“They’re beautiful,” I whispered, hoping he wouldn’t scrutinize my reaction too much.
I’m wearing the earrings now and I’ve already flipped open the mirror on the visor in Matt’s car twice to inspect how they look in my ears. I curled my hair and pulled it up into a ponytail so I could show them off. Combined with the red sweater, I can’t remember a time in my life when I felt more beautiful.
“You like them?” Matt asks from the driver’s seat, glancing over to me.
“They’re perfect,” I reply, reaching over to take his hand and cradle it in my lap.
“All right, enough with the lovey-dovey stuff,” Josie groans in the back seat. “Can someone turn Christmas music on? I’m ready to sing!”
Chapter 30
BAILEY
Normally, I’d feel a little sad to see the holidays go, but this year is different. I’m ready to start working again. I’m anxious to get back into the OR with Matt. His schedule will be jam-packed because of the cases we had to delay for June’s surgery, but I’ve already told him I’m willing to work as much as he needs me to. We’ll tackle it together.
Even though I’m ready to get back to the hospital, I can’t believe how fast the holiday break flew by. Matt and I spent nearly every moment of it together. We were with his family on Christmas Day. After dominating a round of charades, his aunts and uncles enthusiastically embraced Josie and me as if we were one of them. His mom made me sit right by her during dinner, and she even stealthily showed me embarrassing photos of Matt and Cooper when they were babies. That night, Matt and I happily crammed ourselves onto my twin bed.
In the days that followed, we (I) baked cookies and ate them straight out of the oven. We spoiled Josie and took her to spend most of her Barnes & Noble gift card. She has enough books to last her a lifetime, though I fear she’ll finish them all within a week.
Things are moving fast between Matt and me. This isn’t just a casual fling and though I’m ready to go all in, I worry it might be too much for Matt because I start to notice a subtle shift in his demeanor the weekend before we’re due back at the hospital. It starts when we’re driving home from dinner on Friday and I ask him something, nothing important, really, but he doesn’t reply. I glance over to see he wasn’t even listening. When we get home, I work up the courage to ask him if everything is okay, and he brushes off my concern as if it’s nothing and tugs me in for a kiss, worries be damned.
Saturday, we take Josie to go see a movie and he doesn’t watch a single minute of it. Sure, he’s sitting there, looking up at the screen, but his mind is somewhere else. I know because we talk about it on the way home and Matt can’t even name the main character. Josie teases him about it, but I keep quiet, wondering if I’ve done something to give him second thoughts about us.
At dinner, I catch him checking his email incessantly and then that night, I wake up to see him sitting on the edge of my bed, his head in hands.
At first, I think he’s sick.
It’s 2:30 AM. Why is he awake?
“Matt? Are you okay?”
He jerks up straight and glances at me over his shoulder. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just couldn’t sleep.”
He reaches back and finds the hand I extend out for him. Something doesn’t feel right. I’ve never suspected him of lying to me, but I swear he’s not being honest now.
“Are you sure? Do you want me to get you some water or something?”
“No, I don’t need anything.” He shifts and crawls back under the blankets to get to me.
Her eyes light up with the realization that there are presents with her name on them waiting just in the other room. She turns as if preparing to sprint.
“Wait!” I plead. “Help me bake first. Please? We’ll go look at your gifts in a minute.”
She groans and I can tell she really wants to go see her presents, but something in my tone must tip her off to the things I’m not saying, to the memories we tiptoe around so carefully, because she relents and walks over to me. Her arms wrap around my waist and she rests her head against my shoulder.
“Merry Christmas, Bailey,” she says wistfully.
I lean down and kiss her forehead. “Merry Christmas, Josie.”
I’m excited to go to Matt’s parents’ house for Christmas, but I wish he’d sprung it on me a little earlier, like maybe before all the stores closed. I would have liked to bring his mom something: a candle, a tea towel—I don’t know. I’ve never had a boyfriend, therefore I’ve never had to impress a boyfriend’s mom, so I’m just going off of what I think Reese Witherspoon or Joanna Gaines would do, and they’d sure as shit bring a gift for Mrs. Russell.
Matt assures me it doesn’t matter, but when I persist, he caves and we swing by his place for some wine on our way to their house. I feel a lot better cradling that bottle on my lap. Josie also helped me bake snowball cookies after breakfast, so between the two gifts, Mrs. Russell will have to like me. Right?
At least I look the part. I’m wearing a red cashmere sweater. I’ve never owned anything cashmere before and holy heck, how is this material so soft? The sweater was a gift from Josie. When I opened it this morning my first thought was, OMG I LOVE IT. My second thought was, Oh god, how did Josie afford this? I might have accused her of petty theft before she clued me in to the fact that she’s been shoveling the snow off Ms. Murphy’s sidewalk and taking out her trash for the last two months so she could afford to buy me something. It was such a sweet gesture that I cried. Josie told me to get it together, but the tears just kept coming. This morning has been one emotional gut punch after another. Like for instance, Matt somehow managed to sneak away long enough in the last few days to get both Josie and me a gift. I wasn’t expecting anything, but when he produced a present for each of us, the tears were back.
Josie groaned. “Honestly, do you need a minute to compose yourself?”
“No! I’m fine. I swear!” I protested, snot running down my face. “Here, let me use your pajamas to wipe my nose.”
Josie opened her gift first.
“It’s a journal,” Matt said, somewhat nervously. “I thought since you enjoy reading so much, you might enjoy writing as well.”
What’s that painful feeling? Oh yes, it’s my heart swelling to ten times its normal size and encroaching on all my other organs.
He brushed the back of his neck self-consciously. “Also, there’s a Barnes & Noble gift card in the bottom of the bag, just in case you hate that.”
Josie—the girl who has never once had a difficult time finding words—was speechless. She stared down at the journal and nodded. Matt cleared his throat and picked up his empty coffee cup, inspected the contents, and then set it back down.
“Also, I have the receipt in my wallet if—”
She shook her head quickly. “No! It’s perfect.”
Then she cradled it against her chest like it was a baby bird as Matt leaned forward to grab a tiny red gift bag off the coffee table for me. I took it from him with a smile and started tugging out tissue paper carefully. At the very bottom there was a small black velvet box.
A ring box.
OH MY GOD. WHOA. TOO SOON. BUT YES OKAY!
I yanked that sucker out of there and whipped it open, a YES locked and loaded on my tongue right up until my eyes registered that there were not one but two twinkling diamonds nestled in the box, and they were attached to studs, not a band.
“Earrings,” I said slowly, instantly regretting not showing more enthusiasm.
THEY’RE DIAMOND-FREAKING-EARRINGS, BAILEY! Get it together!
“I know jewelry is sort of cliché, but since you always wear your hair up at work—”
Josie put up her hand to stop him from continuing. “Every girl wants diamonds. You did good.”
“Bailey?” he asked.
My mouth opened and words were supposed to be spilling out, but my brain couldn’t quite handle the shock of the last few minutes. I literally thought Matt was proposing to me after like a week of dating. I’ve gone mad.
“They’re beautiful,” I whispered, hoping he wouldn’t scrutinize my reaction too much.
I’m wearing the earrings now and I’ve already flipped open the mirror on the visor in Matt’s car twice to inspect how they look in my ears. I curled my hair and pulled it up into a ponytail so I could show them off. Combined with the red sweater, I can’t remember a time in my life when I felt more beautiful.
“You like them?” Matt asks from the driver’s seat, glancing over to me.
“They’re perfect,” I reply, reaching over to take his hand and cradle it in my lap.
“All right, enough with the lovey-dovey stuff,” Josie groans in the back seat. “Can someone turn Christmas music on? I’m ready to sing!”
Chapter 30
BAILEY
Normally, I’d feel a little sad to see the holidays go, but this year is different. I’m ready to start working again. I’m anxious to get back into the OR with Matt. His schedule will be jam-packed because of the cases we had to delay for June’s surgery, but I’ve already told him I’m willing to work as much as he needs me to. We’ll tackle it together.
Even though I’m ready to get back to the hospital, I can’t believe how fast the holiday break flew by. Matt and I spent nearly every moment of it together. We were with his family on Christmas Day. After dominating a round of charades, his aunts and uncles enthusiastically embraced Josie and me as if we were one of them. His mom made me sit right by her during dinner, and she even stealthily showed me embarrassing photos of Matt and Cooper when they were babies. That night, Matt and I happily crammed ourselves onto my twin bed.
In the days that followed, we (I) baked cookies and ate them straight out of the oven. We spoiled Josie and took her to spend most of her Barnes & Noble gift card. She has enough books to last her a lifetime, though I fear she’ll finish them all within a week.
Things are moving fast between Matt and me. This isn’t just a casual fling and though I’m ready to go all in, I worry it might be too much for Matt because I start to notice a subtle shift in his demeanor the weekend before we’re due back at the hospital. It starts when we’re driving home from dinner on Friday and I ask him something, nothing important, really, but he doesn’t reply. I glance over to see he wasn’t even listening. When we get home, I work up the courage to ask him if everything is okay, and he brushes off my concern as if it’s nothing and tugs me in for a kiss, worries be damned.
Saturday, we take Josie to go see a movie and he doesn’t watch a single minute of it. Sure, he’s sitting there, looking up at the screen, but his mind is somewhere else. I know because we talk about it on the way home and Matt can’t even name the main character. Josie teases him about it, but I keep quiet, wondering if I’ve done something to give him second thoughts about us.
At dinner, I catch him checking his email incessantly and then that night, I wake up to see him sitting on the edge of my bed, his head in hands.
At first, I think he’s sick.
It’s 2:30 AM. Why is he awake?
“Matt? Are you okay?”
He jerks up straight and glances at me over his shoulder. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just couldn’t sleep.”
He reaches back and finds the hand I extend out for him. Something doesn’t feel right. I’ve never suspected him of lying to me, but I swear he’s not being honest now.
“Are you sure? Do you want me to get you some water or something?”
“No, I don’t need anything.” He shifts and crawls back under the blankets to get to me.
