Uh oh. I began to babble again. “I mean, not that we can’t do that. I’m totally fine with that. I was just curious, because the rules of ice dancing are different than regular pairs skating, and the skates are different. Ice dancers use a different toe pick, and—”
“It’s just a name,” the woman executive said in a voice that so wintry that I expected ice cubes to fall from her mouth. “You’ll do regular figure skating. The name is simply for the show. Now. Do you have any other questions?”
I had a million, but even I knew when to keep my trap shut.
The executive smiled. “Good. Welcome to season two of Ice Dancing with the Stars.”
CHAPTER TWO
I can’t believe my management team stuck me with this ice dancing bullshit. I might as well turn in my man-card now. Ice dancing. Seriously? I plan on getting drunk the entire time and staying that way. — Ty Randall, Pre-Show Interview
~~ * ~~
The ‘dorm’ was an interesting set-up. It wasn’t an actual dorm, but a series of houses about an hour outside of LA. A driver took us to the residences, and we were assigned numbers. I had ‘cabin’ number six, which turned out to be a small ranch-style house larger than my parent’s home back in Kentucky, and it was fully furnished. The style was an interesting sort of trendy deco, complete with checkered tile on the floor, kitschy rugs, and weird lamps hanging from the ceilings. Hey, at least it was free.
I explored the house, my suitcase parked near the door. The kitchen was state-of-the-art and stocked full of health foods. Fresh vegetables, organic whole grains, oatmeal, fruit, the works. Good. I’d filled out a questionnaire with the production assistant assigned to me prior to being flown out for the show, and they’d wanted to know the kinds of foods I liked to eat. They’d listened well, too.
There were two fridges, though. I pulled open the door of the second one and peeked inside to get an idea of what my partner was like.
It was full of beer. Jesus. Corona, Red Stripe, Guinness, Rolling Rock—you name it, it was in there. I scowled at the sight. Was I being stuck with a drunk? It was important to me that we looked good when we competed. I wanted to be asked back for next season, damn it. The fridge was also full of prepared foods, and I pulled out the first box. Pizza rolls? Hot dogs?
This would not do. I immediately pulled out my cellphone and called the production assistant assigned to me.
“Hi Zara,” Melody said eagerly. “What can I get for you?”
“The other fridge. It’s full of garbage.”
I could hear Melody flipping through her notes on the other end of the line. “Garbage? I’m not sure—”
“Beer, Melody. It’s full of beer and pizza rolls. How am I supposed to ice skate with someone if they’re full of beer and pizza rolls?”
“Well, you each filled out a questionnaire,” Melody said uncertainly. “Your celebrity requested those things—”
“Come and get it all out,” I told her. “I’ll have a nice chat with my partner when he gets here. But I want it gone.”
“I can’t do that, Zara,” Melody said. “I’m sorry. My orders were to stock the fridge with the requested items.”
I frowned, and then an idea struck me. “No worries. I’ll figure something out.” I hung up before she could ask what, and spent the next five minutes wiggling the fridge out from the wall. When there was enough room to reach behind, I grabbed the plug and yanked it out.
We’d see how my celebrity friend liked warm beer and spoiled pizza rolls. He’d have no choice but to eat health food if that was all that was available.
Satisfied with that solution, I grabbed my suitcase and headed to the rooms. Neither one was labeled, but one was clearly much smaller than the other. That one had to be mine. I looked longingly at the larger room. It had a wall full of windows that overlooked a woodsy, grassy backyard. Pretty. My room had no windows, since I was just the lowly figure skater. Whatever. I spent the next several minutes unpacking. My skates were the last to come out, and I caressed them lovingly before putting them in a place of honor on a hook on the wall. Skates didn’t touch the floor outside of the rink. That was bad juju, and I was mindful of my juju.
Speaking of rinks. I left my room and headed to the back of the house. There was a sliding glass door off of the kitchen, and a concrete path leading through the grasses off into what looked like an enormous shed twice the size of the house in the distance. I opened the door and stepped out, and then looked down the row of cabins. Each other cabin had an identical shed. That must be our private rink. Smart. We didn’t have to share the ice with the other celebrities. I was glad, though I was surprised at how much money they’d put into the set-up of things. This had to cost a pretty penny. Ratings must have been better than I thought. With a skip in my step, I headed down the path and peeked in the door.
The rink was small, but usable. A long row of mirrors lined the wall, and a barre was attached. There was a locker room on the far end of the building and off to one side, there was an electronic stereo set-up for the music. Nothing fancy, totally serviceable. I still liked it, though. My own private rink for the next two months. Heaven.
I just had to put up with some beer-swilling pig of a partner and all of this paradise was mine.
~~ * ~~
My phone rang at 3:00 PM California time, and I yawned, rousing from my nap. I wasn’t used to the hours here, and was still exhausted despite it being early afternoon. “Hello?”
“This is Melody, calling you to remind you that the celebrities will be arriving in a half hour. Please be ready to meet your new partner. There will be camera crews at hand to film your reaction.”
“Got it. Thank you.”
I got up and put a bit of makeup on, and I smoothed my bun again, making sure I looked presentable without being too eager. I hated that I had been dressed so casually this morning. If I dolled up like crazy now, the other skaters would smirk endlessly at my obviousness, and I didn’t want to be on their radar any more than I already was. Still, I added some lipstick, since there would be cameras. Okay, and a bit of mascara. I had big, dark eyes, and it wouldn’t take much to make them pop.
I went outside and walked down the street where the others were converging. There was apparently a clubhouse at the end of our private little neighborhood, and I guessed we needed to head that way. Stuffing my hands into the pockets of my hoodie, I sauntered toward it.
Cameras and people were everywhere, and I saw one cameraman split off and immediately head for me. “Zara,” the cameraman said, waving me over. “Let’s do an interview.”
Interview? Bleh. Part of the job, though. I put on my best smile and shrugged. “I’m game.”
“Okay, great. Why don’t you tell us what it feels like to be part of the Ice Dancing with the Stars team? Please include the question in your answer and speak in complete sentences if possible to make it easier for the production crew.”
Oh. Okay. “Being on the show is an amazing opportunity,” I told him, and I wasn’t lying. It seriously was.
He gestured his hand for me to continue talking.
Oh. Someone wanted me to actually keep going? Normally everyone couldn’t wait for me to shut up. “Well, actually, I’m super nervous,” I said, and gave a little bounce as if to illustrate this. “I’ve never been on TV and it’s been a while since I skated in any sort of professional capacity, so this is a big deal for me.”
“It’s just a name,” the woman executive said in a voice that so wintry that I expected ice cubes to fall from her mouth. “You’ll do regular figure skating. The name is simply for the show. Now. Do you have any other questions?”
I had a million, but even I knew when to keep my trap shut.
The executive smiled. “Good. Welcome to season two of Ice Dancing with the Stars.”
CHAPTER TWO
I can’t believe my management team stuck me with this ice dancing bullshit. I might as well turn in my man-card now. Ice dancing. Seriously? I plan on getting drunk the entire time and staying that way. — Ty Randall, Pre-Show Interview
~~ * ~~
The ‘dorm’ was an interesting set-up. It wasn’t an actual dorm, but a series of houses about an hour outside of LA. A driver took us to the residences, and we were assigned numbers. I had ‘cabin’ number six, which turned out to be a small ranch-style house larger than my parent’s home back in Kentucky, and it was fully furnished. The style was an interesting sort of trendy deco, complete with checkered tile on the floor, kitschy rugs, and weird lamps hanging from the ceilings. Hey, at least it was free.
I explored the house, my suitcase parked near the door. The kitchen was state-of-the-art and stocked full of health foods. Fresh vegetables, organic whole grains, oatmeal, fruit, the works. Good. I’d filled out a questionnaire with the production assistant assigned to me prior to being flown out for the show, and they’d wanted to know the kinds of foods I liked to eat. They’d listened well, too.
There were two fridges, though. I pulled open the door of the second one and peeked inside to get an idea of what my partner was like.
It was full of beer. Jesus. Corona, Red Stripe, Guinness, Rolling Rock—you name it, it was in there. I scowled at the sight. Was I being stuck with a drunk? It was important to me that we looked good when we competed. I wanted to be asked back for next season, damn it. The fridge was also full of prepared foods, and I pulled out the first box. Pizza rolls? Hot dogs?
This would not do. I immediately pulled out my cellphone and called the production assistant assigned to me.
“Hi Zara,” Melody said eagerly. “What can I get for you?”
“The other fridge. It’s full of garbage.”
I could hear Melody flipping through her notes on the other end of the line. “Garbage? I’m not sure—”
“Beer, Melody. It’s full of beer and pizza rolls. How am I supposed to ice skate with someone if they’re full of beer and pizza rolls?”
“Well, you each filled out a questionnaire,” Melody said uncertainly. “Your celebrity requested those things—”
“Come and get it all out,” I told her. “I’ll have a nice chat with my partner when he gets here. But I want it gone.”
“I can’t do that, Zara,” Melody said. “I’m sorry. My orders were to stock the fridge with the requested items.”
I frowned, and then an idea struck me. “No worries. I’ll figure something out.” I hung up before she could ask what, and spent the next five minutes wiggling the fridge out from the wall. When there was enough room to reach behind, I grabbed the plug and yanked it out.
We’d see how my celebrity friend liked warm beer and spoiled pizza rolls. He’d have no choice but to eat health food if that was all that was available.
Satisfied with that solution, I grabbed my suitcase and headed to the rooms. Neither one was labeled, but one was clearly much smaller than the other. That one had to be mine. I looked longingly at the larger room. It had a wall full of windows that overlooked a woodsy, grassy backyard. Pretty. My room had no windows, since I was just the lowly figure skater. Whatever. I spent the next several minutes unpacking. My skates were the last to come out, and I caressed them lovingly before putting them in a place of honor on a hook on the wall. Skates didn’t touch the floor outside of the rink. That was bad juju, and I was mindful of my juju.
Speaking of rinks. I left my room and headed to the back of the house. There was a sliding glass door off of the kitchen, and a concrete path leading through the grasses off into what looked like an enormous shed twice the size of the house in the distance. I opened the door and stepped out, and then looked down the row of cabins. Each other cabin had an identical shed. That must be our private rink. Smart. We didn’t have to share the ice with the other celebrities. I was glad, though I was surprised at how much money they’d put into the set-up of things. This had to cost a pretty penny. Ratings must have been better than I thought. With a skip in my step, I headed down the path and peeked in the door.
The rink was small, but usable. A long row of mirrors lined the wall, and a barre was attached. There was a locker room on the far end of the building and off to one side, there was an electronic stereo set-up for the music. Nothing fancy, totally serviceable. I still liked it, though. My own private rink for the next two months. Heaven.
I just had to put up with some beer-swilling pig of a partner and all of this paradise was mine.
~~ * ~~
My phone rang at 3:00 PM California time, and I yawned, rousing from my nap. I wasn’t used to the hours here, and was still exhausted despite it being early afternoon. “Hello?”
“This is Melody, calling you to remind you that the celebrities will be arriving in a half hour. Please be ready to meet your new partner. There will be camera crews at hand to film your reaction.”
“Got it. Thank you.”
I got up and put a bit of makeup on, and I smoothed my bun again, making sure I looked presentable without being too eager. I hated that I had been dressed so casually this morning. If I dolled up like crazy now, the other skaters would smirk endlessly at my obviousness, and I didn’t want to be on their radar any more than I already was. Still, I added some lipstick, since there would be cameras. Okay, and a bit of mascara. I had big, dark eyes, and it wouldn’t take much to make them pop.
I went outside and walked down the street where the others were converging. There was apparently a clubhouse at the end of our private little neighborhood, and I guessed we needed to head that way. Stuffing my hands into the pockets of my hoodie, I sauntered toward it.
Cameras and people were everywhere, and I saw one cameraman split off and immediately head for me. “Zara,” the cameraman said, waving me over. “Let’s do an interview.”
Interview? Bleh. Part of the job, though. I put on my best smile and shrugged. “I’m game.”
“Okay, great. Why don’t you tell us what it feels like to be part of the Ice Dancing with the Stars team? Please include the question in your answer and speak in complete sentences if possible to make it easier for the production crew.”
Oh. Okay. “Being on the show is an amazing opportunity,” I told him, and I wasn’t lying. It seriously was.
He gestured his hand for me to continue talking.
Oh. Someone wanted me to actually keep going? Normally everyone couldn’t wait for me to shut up. “Well, actually, I’m super nervous,” I said, and gave a little bounce as if to illustrate this. “I’ve never been on TV and it’s been a while since I skated in any sort of professional capacity, so this is a big deal for me.”
