Sky, Jo corrects.
Huh? That dont make no sense either. What the feck is purple haze anyway?
Shes going to delete Jimi, Lor says disbelievingly. Sacrilege.
Dancer nudges the volume. Up.
Traitor!
Sorry, Mega, but I have to agree with him on this one.
I look at Ryodan like Im expecting him to help me out or something but hes just sitting there and I see that Jos sort of snuggled into him under one of his big shoulders and his cuff is gleaming silver at her throat cause his arm is around her neck and it almost makes my head pop off and I dont even know why. Like hes a real person or something, with a girlfriend, instead of some savage beast that would pick his teeth with her bones if he felt like it, and shes falling for it and Oh! I just cant even stand looking at them no more! This aint no fecking campfire and cuddle! I say.
Ryodan gives me his vintage permanently amused look.
Im so mad I stand up and turn away.
Dont worry, Mega, Dancer says. We baited the trap right. The monster will come.
Hes right.
Just then it does.
Too bad its not the one we wanted.
FORTY
Is it the end, my friend?
Satans coming round the bend
The Crimson Hag explodes from the night, slicing through lavender lights on a cloud of putrefaction, tattered hem of her gut-gown snaking out behind her, to the bizarre accompaniment of Purple Haze. She swoops us then shoots straight up to the highest dormer on the abbey roof and perches there.
Were all on our feet. How did she find us? I say. You think noise draws her, too?
She sways from side to side, moving only from the waist, creepily reptilian, surveying us with black empty holes where eyes should be.
I think the bitch is after me, Christian says. Im the weakest Unseelie prince with immortal guts. At least for a while yet.
Shes like a bat, isnt she? Its not like we werent making enough noise. She cant see so she uses echolocation! I exclaim.
Dont know, dont care. Lets bag the bitch, Christian says.
How the fuck do we get past her legs, Ryodan says, and I look at him. I can see hes got a personal itch on to kill her.
I look at Jo when I say, What? You dont feel like dying again today?
Then Ryodan isnt standing next to Jo anymore. Hes got me and he freeze-framed me twenty feet away before I could even blink. If the Highlander says something to Jo about that, shell think hes lying. She might believe you. My men will kill her if she knows.And I wont be able to stop them.
I look at him hard and realize for maybe the first time ever hes telling me a simple truth. Shes not allowed to know you cant be killed?
Never.
Why am I?
Hes gone. Back to Jo. Got his arm around her, protecting her.
The Hag swoops!
Its like some weird rock-opera battle that gets even weirder when the next song Lor cued up comes on and Black Sabbath starts playing Black Sabbath at about a gazillion decibels. As if the Crimson Hag aint disturbing enough, we need that freaky song in the background. Dont get me wrong, I put it on my playlist because sometimes I like to listen to it. But I got to be in a real mood, because, dude, the song makes me feel unsettled and disturbed and pretty much everybody I ever talked to feels the same way about it.
First thing on my mind is Dancer! I grab him and yell at him to hold on to me no matter what. When the Hag swoops us, we duck like were one big wave then freeze-frame in different directions.
She veers at the last second toward Christian and I see he was right. Its him she wants. But when she just about nabs Lor with one of her bony lances, I realize shell take anyone she can get those terrible knitting needles on.
Were all freeze-framing or sifting, ducking, and dodging. Im trying to hold on to Dancer and keep an eye on Ryodan, whos got Jo, and its making me nuts that shes even here, in the middle of this fight. She aint got nothing special to protect her except Ryodan and that aint enough for me.
I cant move fast enough, watch out for her, and hold on to Dancer, so I freeze-frame him to the far side of the abbey and dump him with the sidhe-seers.
Mega, what are you doing?
You got no chance against her. I hardly do. Dont get me killed because I get stupid worrying about you!
He snaps real cool, Didnt mean to be a liability.
Well you are, so dont be, I snap back. Id die if something happened to him.
He shakes his head, disgusted, like he cant believe Im such a traitor when Im just trying to keep him safe.
Take me back. Buy me time to rewire things. We can electrocute her with some of the stuff we brought, snake a live cable around her!
We dont even know if electrocution would work! Maybe shed just suck it up and use it for fuel!
We dont know it wont!
Me and him are nose-to-nose, yelling at each other.
Jo explodes from a blur and stumbles into us. Hey! she shouts at what I think is Ryodans vanishing backside. You cant just dump me here!
Huh? That dont make no sense either. What the feck is purple haze anyway?
Shes going to delete Jimi, Lor says disbelievingly. Sacrilege.
Dancer nudges the volume. Up.
Traitor!
Sorry, Mega, but I have to agree with him on this one.
I look at Ryodan like Im expecting him to help me out or something but hes just sitting there and I see that Jos sort of snuggled into him under one of his big shoulders and his cuff is gleaming silver at her throat cause his arm is around her neck and it almost makes my head pop off and I dont even know why. Like hes a real person or something, with a girlfriend, instead of some savage beast that would pick his teeth with her bones if he felt like it, and shes falling for it and Oh! I just cant even stand looking at them no more! This aint no fecking campfire and cuddle! I say.
Ryodan gives me his vintage permanently amused look.
Im so mad I stand up and turn away.
Dont worry, Mega, Dancer says. We baited the trap right. The monster will come.
Hes right.
Just then it does.
Too bad its not the one we wanted.
FORTY
Is it the end, my friend?
Satans coming round the bend
The Crimson Hag explodes from the night, slicing through lavender lights on a cloud of putrefaction, tattered hem of her gut-gown snaking out behind her, to the bizarre accompaniment of Purple Haze. She swoops us then shoots straight up to the highest dormer on the abbey roof and perches there.
Were all on our feet. How did she find us? I say. You think noise draws her, too?
She sways from side to side, moving only from the waist, creepily reptilian, surveying us with black empty holes where eyes should be.
I think the bitch is after me, Christian says. Im the weakest Unseelie prince with immortal guts. At least for a while yet.
Shes like a bat, isnt she? Its not like we werent making enough noise. She cant see so she uses echolocation! I exclaim.
Dont know, dont care. Lets bag the bitch, Christian says.
How the fuck do we get past her legs, Ryodan says, and I look at him. I can see hes got a personal itch on to kill her.
I look at Jo when I say, What? You dont feel like dying again today?
Then Ryodan isnt standing next to Jo anymore. Hes got me and he freeze-framed me twenty feet away before I could even blink. If the Highlander says something to Jo about that, shell think hes lying. She might believe you. My men will kill her if she knows.And I wont be able to stop them.
I look at him hard and realize for maybe the first time ever hes telling me a simple truth. Shes not allowed to know you cant be killed?
Never.
Why am I?
Hes gone. Back to Jo. Got his arm around her, protecting her.
The Hag swoops!
Its like some weird rock-opera battle that gets even weirder when the next song Lor cued up comes on and Black Sabbath starts playing Black Sabbath at about a gazillion decibels. As if the Crimson Hag aint disturbing enough, we need that freaky song in the background. Dont get me wrong, I put it on my playlist because sometimes I like to listen to it. But I got to be in a real mood, because, dude, the song makes me feel unsettled and disturbed and pretty much everybody I ever talked to feels the same way about it.
First thing on my mind is Dancer! I grab him and yell at him to hold on to me no matter what. When the Hag swoops us, we duck like were one big wave then freeze-frame in different directions.
She veers at the last second toward Christian and I see he was right. Its him she wants. But when she just about nabs Lor with one of her bony lances, I realize shell take anyone she can get those terrible knitting needles on.
Were all freeze-framing or sifting, ducking, and dodging. Im trying to hold on to Dancer and keep an eye on Ryodan, whos got Jo, and its making me nuts that shes even here, in the middle of this fight. She aint got nothing special to protect her except Ryodan and that aint enough for me.
I cant move fast enough, watch out for her, and hold on to Dancer, so I freeze-frame him to the far side of the abbey and dump him with the sidhe-seers.
Mega, what are you doing?
You got no chance against her. I hardly do. Dont get me killed because I get stupid worrying about you!
He snaps real cool, Didnt mean to be a liability.
Well you are, so dont be, I snap back. Id die if something happened to him.
He shakes his head, disgusted, like he cant believe Im such a traitor when Im just trying to keep him safe.
Take me back. Buy me time to rewire things. We can electrocute her with some of the stuff we brought, snake a live cable around her!
We dont even know if electrocution would work! Maybe shed just suck it up and use it for fuel!
We dont know it wont!
Me and him are nose-to-nose, yelling at each other.
Jo explodes from a blur and stumbles into us. Hey! she shouts at what I think is Ryodans vanishing backside. You cant just dump me here!
