I get it, all right? Youre going to torture me to death by talking. Kill me now. Get it over with. But use something quick and clean. Like a chain saw. Maybe a grenade.
He touches my cheek. Dani.
Is that pity, Ryodan? Cause I dont need it. Thought you were tougher than that.
His thumb brushes my mouth and he gives me a look I dont understand. I head-butt his hand away.
You think youre going to chain me to a wall then stand here and tell me why its okay that I am the way I am? That because of all the crap folks put me through when I was young its all right that I turned out like this? Dude, I dont have a problem with how I turned out. I like me.
Rowena made you kill your first human when you were nine years old.
How the feck does he know this stuff? She made it a game. Told me she wanted to know if I could whiz in and dump extra milk in Maggies cereal bowl without her seeing me. Of course I could. Maggie died, sitting there at the breakfast table. Ro told me it was a coincidence, that she was old and had a heart attack. When I was eleven, I found out the truth. Ro hated Maggie because shed been rallying sidhe-seers to elect a new Grand Mistress. I found the old witchs journals. She chronicled everything she did, like she thought one day shed be immortalized and people would want to read her private memoirs. I have all those journals now, tucked away in a safe place. Id poisoned Maggie that day with the milk Id added to her bowl. Id done a lot of other things, too, that I hadnt understood.
Significant words there: Rowena made me. I got over it a long time ago.
Funny, your speech is changing, kid. Getting all grown-up-like.
Dude, I add.
Youre going to be a tough one to crack.
Let me give you a clue: substitute the word impossible for tough.
He peels the wrapper back from the Snickers. Offers me a bite.
I turn my head away. I wont eat like a chained-up animal.
When we find your little boyfriend, youll change your mind.
My guts unknot and I almost slump into the chains with relief but I lock my knees so I cant. He said when we find, which means they havent. I dont telegraph unless I slip. I was afraid they had Dancer. He must have left while I was sleeping. He keeps odd hours, goes off sometimes until he feels like coming back. I cant always find him when I want to. Sometimes I dont see him for days. Its good to know hes safe somewhere. They didnt get him. They only got me. I can handle this kind of stuff. I cut my teeth on it. Dancer well, until the walls fell, he lived a charmed life. I never want him to have to dealwith these men.
He isnt my boyfriend.
How long will you make me keep you here, Dani?
Until you figure out it isnt going to do you any good.
He smiles faintly and turns away. At the door, he pauses and puts his hand on the light switch like hes giving me a choice. As if all I have to do is give him a look that says Please dont leave me in the dark and he wont.
I flip him off big and showy, with both hands chained over my head.
He leaves me without my sword, in the dark.
I dont worry.
I know Ryodan. If anyone is going to kill me, itll be him. That means hes got this place protected from Shades and Fae or hed never have left me here.
Im hungry and tired. I close my eyes and play an old game with myself, one I learned young.
I pretend I have a giant, cushy pillow in my stomach, filling it up softly, absorbing the acid that boils from extreme hunger. I pretend that Im stretched out in a downy soft bed in a perfectly safe place where nobody can hurt me.
Hanging by manacles around my wrists, I sleep.
What did you think was going to happen, Dani? Mac says.
I squint my eyes open a slit and groan. TP is here, standing right in front of me.
I do a quick scan. I dont see her spear but I know its on her somewhere. She doesnt go anyplace without it.
Not fair, I say. You cant kill me while Im chained up. Dude, you have to at least give me a fighting chance. Unchain me. I wont fight her. But I will run. I can outrun TP till the end of days.
I dont understand, Dani, she says. You had to know when you killed all those Fae in front of thousands of witnesses that it would put you on the shit-list of every person and Fae with any power in this city, with Ryodan and his men first in line. Were you trying to become Dublins most wanted?
Not like you werent for a while, and you survived.
I had Barrons at my back. You pissed off your potential version of Barrons.
Im deliberately obtuse. Christian MacKeltar? Hes not pissed at me.
Ryodan.
Ryodan isnt Barrons and never will be!
Agreed. But he could have your back, if youd let him. Instead, you not only blatantly antagonized him, you put him in a position where he has to punish you. You defied him in front of the entire city. Dani, Dani.
Who the fecks side are you on? And why arent you trying to kill me?
I dont need to. Youve got the whole city lined up waiting to do that. Dani! Dani!
He touches my cheek. Dani.
Is that pity, Ryodan? Cause I dont need it. Thought you were tougher than that.
His thumb brushes my mouth and he gives me a look I dont understand. I head-butt his hand away.
You think youre going to chain me to a wall then stand here and tell me why its okay that I am the way I am? That because of all the crap folks put me through when I was young its all right that I turned out like this? Dude, I dont have a problem with how I turned out. I like me.
Rowena made you kill your first human when you were nine years old.
How the feck does he know this stuff? She made it a game. Told me she wanted to know if I could whiz in and dump extra milk in Maggies cereal bowl without her seeing me. Of course I could. Maggie died, sitting there at the breakfast table. Ro told me it was a coincidence, that she was old and had a heart attack. When I was eleven, I found out the truth. Ro hated Maggie because shed been rallying sidhe-seers to elect a new Grand Mistress. I found the old witchs journals. She chronicled everything she did, like she thought one day shed be immortalized and people would want to read her private memoirs. I have all those journals now, tucked away in a safe place. Id poisoned Maggie that day with the milk Id added to her bowl. Id done a lot of other things, too, that I hadnt understood.
Significant words there: Rowena made me. I got over it a long time ago.
Funny, your speech is changing, kid. Getting all grown-up-like.
Dude, I add.
Youre going to be a tough one to crack.
Let me give you a clue: substitute the word impossible for tough.
He peels the wrapper back from the Snickers. Offers me a bite.
I turn my head away. I wont eat like a chained-up animal.
When we find your little boyfriend, youll change your mind.
My guts unknot and I almost slump into the chains with relief but I lock my knees so I cant. He said when we find, which means they havent. I dont telegraph unless I slip. I was afraid they had Dancer. He must have left while I was sleeping. He keeps odd hours, goes off sometimes until he feels like coming back. I cant always find him when I want to. Sometimes I dont see him for days. Its good to know hes safe somewhere. They didnt get him. They only got me. I can handle this kind of stuff. I cut my teeth on it. Dancer well, until the walls fell, he lived a charmed life. I never want him to have to dealwith these men.
He isnt my boyfriend.
How long will you make me keep you here, Dani?
Until you figure out it isnt going to do you any good.
He smiles faintly and turns away. At the door, he pauses and puts his hand on the light switch like hes giving me a choice. As if all I have to do is give him a look that says Please dont leave me in the dark and he wont.
I flip him off big and showy, with both hands chained over my head.
He leaves me without my sword, in the dark.
I dont worry.
I know Ryodan. If anyone is going to kill me, itll be him. That means hes got this place protected from Shades and Fae or hed never have left me here.
Im hungry and tired. I close my eyes and play an old game with myself, one I learned young.
I pretend I have a giant, cushy pillow in my stomach, filling it up softly, absorbing the acid that boils from extreme hunger. I pretend that Im stretched out in a downy soft bed in a perfectly safe place where nobody can hurt me.
Hanging by manacles around my wrists, I sleep.
What did you think was going to happen, Dani? Mac says.
I squint my eyes open a slit and groan. TP is here, standing right in front of me.
I do a quick scan. I dont see her spear but I know its on her somewhere. She doesnt go anyplace without it.
Not fair, I say. You cant kill me while Im chained up. Dude, you have to at least give me a fighting chance. Unchain me. I wont fight her. But I will run. I can outrun TP till the end of days.
I dont understand, Dani, she says. You had to know when you killed all those Fae in front of thousands of witnesses that it would put you on the shit-list of every person and Fae with any power in this city, with Ryodan and his men first in line. Were you trying to become Dublins most wanted?
Not like you werent for a while, and you survived.
I had Barrons at my back. You pissed off your potential version of Barrons.
Im deliberately obtuse. Christian MacKeltar? Hes not pissed at me.
Ryodan.
Ryodan isnt Barrons and never will be!
Agreed. But he could have your back, if youd let him. Instead, you not only blatantly antagonized him, you put him in a position where he has to punish you. You defied him in front of the entire city. Dani, Dani.
Who the fecks side are you on? And why arent you trying to kill me?
I dont need to. Youve got the whole city lined up waiting to do that. Dani! Dani!
