How many died the night Rowena let the Sinsar Dubh out, how many murders weighed on her conscience? Did she even have a conscience left by then or had it been corrupted completely?
Who will step up if I leave?
Theres no guarantee the next woman will be any stronger than me, or more capable of resisting his seduction. How long would Margery last, in the face of such temptation? How cruel might she become with the power of the Sinsar Dubh blackening her heart?
God help me, I must stay.
I must win this silent, invisible war, with no one the wiser.
God help me.
ELEVEN
Trouble ahead, trouble behind
There you are, Jo says as I saunter past the kiddie subclub. Its almost eight-thirty. I thought you were supposed to be here at eight. Shes got on makeup. She never wears makeup. And she did something sparkly on her eyelids and between her boobs. It makes me mad. I dont know why she changed. She was just fine the way she was.
The words supposed to be here chafe me raw. Theyre insult heaped on injury. I had a crappy day. Its already taking every ounce of my self-control to hide how much it kills me to see Jo waitressing, wearing a short kicky skirt, serving Fae. But I choke it down because if I let an ounce of it show, who knows what Ryodan might do? The dudes as predictable as an Interdimensional Fairy Pothole, those pieces of fractured Fae reality drifting around that you never know whats inside of till youre ass-deep in alligators.
Macs looking for you, she says.
I rubberneck wildly, trying to search every subclub in Chesters at once. She here?
What? Jo looks at me blankly, and I realize I must have spoken in fast-mo. That happens sometimes when I get agitated. I start to vibrate, and I think all other people hear is the high-pitched whine of a mosquito.
Is she here? I slow down for a sec to talk then speed up the rubbernecking.
No. She left with Barrons half an hour ago. Youre going to give yourself whiplash if you dont slow down your head, Dani. Its creepy when you do that. You just missed each other. If youd been on time, you wouldnt have. Whats wrong? You just went as white as a sheet.
If Id been on time.
Did Mac come here looking for me? Was she hunting me? Does she know Im supposed to show up for work at eight?
I feel woozy. I need to get the blood back in my head. Sometimes I think my heart and veins go into fast-mo without the rest of me, prepping my body for flight or fight, sending all the juice to my sword hand or my feet, and away from my brain. Its the only thing that explains how stupid I go when I get mad or worried. But then, guys work the same way with their dicks, and they cant fast-mo, so maybeits just a human design flaw. Intense feeling? Ha! Instant brain death.
Where the fuck is my drink, bitch? You want a piece of me or what? an Unseelie at a nearby table growls. It means it, literally.
Tell me youre not eating Unseelie, I say.
Ew! Never! Jo says like she cant believe I asked.
Did you get highlights in your hair?
She touches it, with a self-conscious smile. A few.
You never have highlights. And you dont wear makeup.
Sometimes I do.
Like, not once in the whole time Ive known you. And I aint never seen you with sparkly stuff on your boobs.
She starts to say something then shakes her head.
You dressing up for these creeps?
Bitch, I said wheres my drink?
I look at the Unseelie. Its looking Jo up and down, licking thin, nasty lips like shes its next meal. Way too personal-like.
An Unseelie just called Jo a bitch. Pressure builds behind my sternum. My hand goes to the hilt of my sword. Before I can close a finger around it, Im hemmed in by a mountain range of men with attitudes as big as avalanches. Being in the middle of four of Ryodans dudes is sort of like standing on a glacier while being gently electrocuted. Never felt anything like it, except from the dude himself, and Barrons.
That Unseelie called Jo a bitch, I say. Clearly, the Unseelie deserves to die.
Boss says if you kill a Fae in his protected area, the waitress dies in front of you, real slow, Lor says. Then we kill you. Well never remind you of this again. Well never intervene again. Its on your head, kid. Control your temper or youll kill her. You. Were merely the weapon by which shell die. And were inventive as fuck when it comes to slow killing.
Jos eyes are huge. She sees their faces. Knows how moody I am.
I sigh and let go of my sword. Wow, dude, Ive never heard you string so many complete sentences all together in, like, ever. Youre downright loquacious tonight. Brute force is Lors usual way of dealing with things. His idea of seduction is capture-and-abduct. You dont want to catch this dudes eye. You end up in his bed whether you want to or not. I give him a baleful glare. Hes telling me to control myself, and the only way I see to do that inside Chesters is maybe beat myself over the head with a riot baton a few times and knock myself out.
Bitch, I said where the fuck is my drink?
Temper nearly pops my skull. My brain empties. My sword hand swells, full of blood and eagerness.
Jo gives me a look and turns away.
Who will step up if I leave?
Theres no guarantee the next woman will be any stronger than me, or more capable of resisting his seduction. How long would Margery last, in the face of such temptation? How cruel might she become with the power of the Sinsar Dubh blackening her heart?
God help me, I must stay.
I must win this silent, invisible war, with no one the wiser.
God help me.
ELEVEN
Trouble ahead, trouble behind
There you are, Jo says as I saunter past the kiddie subclub. Its almost eight-thirty. I thought you were supposed to be here at eight. Shes got on makeup. She never wears makeup. And she did something sparkly on her eyelids and between her boobs. It makes me mad. I dont know why she changed. She was just fine the way she was.
The words supposed to be here chafe me raw. Theyre insult heaped on injury. I had a crappy day. Its already taking every ounce of my self-control to hide how much it kills me to see Jo waitressing, wearing a short kicky skirt, serving Fae. But I choke it down because if I let an ounce of it show, who knows what Ryodan might do? The dudes as predictable as an Interdimensional Fairy Pothole, those pieces of fractured Fae reality drifting around that you never know whats inside of till youre ass-deep in alligators.
Macs looking for you, she says.
I rubberneck wildly, trying to search every subclub in Chesters at once. She here?
What? Jo looks at me blankly, and I realize I must have spoken in fast-mo. That happens sometimes when I get agitated. I start to vibrate, and I think all other people hear is the high-pitched whine of a mosquito.
Is she here? I slow down for a sec to talk then speed up the rubbernecking.
No. She left with Barrons half an hour ago. Youre going to give yourself whiplash if you dont slow down your head, Dani. Its creepy when you do that. You just missed each other. If youd been on time, you wouldnt have. Whats wrong? You just went as white as a sheet.
If Id been on time.
Did Mac come here looking for me? Was she hunting me? Does she know Im supposed to show up for work at eight?
I feel woozy. I need to get the blood back in my head. Sometimes I think my heart and veins go into fast-mo without the rest of me, prepping my body for flight or fight, sending all the juice to my sword hand or my feet, and away from my brain. Its the only thing that explains how stupid I go when I get mad or worried. But then, guys work the same way with their dicks, and they cant fast-mo, so maybeits just a human design flaw. Intense feeling? Ha! Instant brain death.
Where the fuck is my drink, bitch? You want a piece of me or what? an Unseelie at a nearby table growls. It means it, literally.
Tell me youre not eating Unseelie, I say.
Ew! Never! Jo says like she cant believe I asked.
Did you get highlights in your hair?
She touches it, with a self-conscious smile. A few.
You never have highlights. And you dont wear makeup.
Sometimes I do.
Like, not once in the whole time Ive known you. And I aint never seen you with sparkly stuff on your boobs.
She starts to say something then shakes her head.
You dressing up for these creeps?
Bitch, I said wheres my drink?
I look at the Unseelie. Its looking Jo up and down, licking thin, nasty lips like shes its next meal. Way too personal-like.
An Unseelie just called Jo a bitch. Pressure builds behind my sternum. My hand goes to the hilt of my sword. Before I can close a finger around it, Im hemmed in by a mountain range of men with attitudes as big as avalanches. Being in the middle of four of Ryodans dudes is sort of like standing on a glacier while being gently electrocuted. Never felt anything like it, except from the dude himself, and Barrons.
That Unseelie called Jo a bitch, I say. Clearly, the Unseelie deserves to die.
Boss says if you kill a Fae in his protected area, the waitress dies in front of you, real slow, Lor says. Then we kill you. Well never remind you of this again. Well never intervene again. Its on your head, kid. Control your temper or youll kill her. You. Were merely the weapon by which shell die. And were inventive as fuck when it comes to slow killing.
Jos eyes are huge. She sees their faces. Knows how moody I am.
I sigh and let go of my sword. Wow, dude, Ive never heard you string so many complete sentences all together in, like, ever. Youre downright loquacious tonight. Brute force is Lors usual way of dealing with things. His idea of seduction is capture-and-abduct. You dont want to catch this dudes eye. You end up in his bed whether you want to or not. I give him a baleful glare. Hes telling me to control myself, and the only way I see to do that inside Chesters is maybe beat myself over the head with a riot baton a few times and knock myself out.
Bitch, I said where the fuck is my drink?
Temper nearly pops my skull. My brain empties. My sword hand swells, full of blood and eagerness.
Jo gives me a look and turns away.
