My hairs flying around my head in a cloud, getting in my eyes. I shove it back with both hands, wishing me and Dancer were eating jerky and hanging cool. Yeah! Like, I might just have a life! Like I might just have plans for things that conflict with your stupid report-to-work-every-night-at-eight rule! Nobody else has to work every single night! Maybe I could get a couple of nights off to do something I want to do. Is that too fecking much to ask?
You have a date.
Another nonquestion, but the word date in the same thought with Dancer makes me say, Huh?
Ryodan stands and dwarfs me. I live in a world of people who are taller than me, but Jo says she thinks Im going to grow more. I measure myself a lot. I dont want to be stuck at five foot two and three-quarters forever.
You mentioned plans. You didnt say what they were.
None of your fecking business.
Everything is my business.
Not my personal life. Thats why they call it personal.
This is about your little boyfriend.
Dont talk about him. Dont even think about him. And hes not little. Stop calling him little. One day hes going to be bigger than you. You just wait and see.
This isnt the time to play house and get clumsy with a kid that doesnt know what to do with his own dick.
He just made me think about Dancers dick. The thought is so uncomfortable I start bouncing from foot to foot. Who said anything about dicks? I just want to watch a movie tonight!
Which one.
How could that possibly matter?
He gives me a look.
Scream 4. Happy?
Wasnt very good.
Dancer said it was, I say crossly. Has everybody seen it but me?
Shows what he knows.
You got a problem with Dancer?
Yes. Hes the reason youre in a shit mood tonight and I have to put up with it. So fix the shit mood or Ill fix Dancer.
My hand goes to the hilt of my sword. Dont you even think about trying to take anything from me thats mine.
Dont make me.
His fangs just slid out. I shake my head and whistle. Dude, what are you?
He looks at me long and hard and I see something in his eyes that I almost get but dont. Its a look that I feel like I should know but just cant make sense of. Theres more of a breeze in the small, closed office than I usually manage to generate, and I realize hes vibrating, tooand he makes wind, too. Im beyond annoyed. Is there anything I can do that he cant do? When I look down through the glass floor, Isee that everyone beneath us is moving slo-mo. Were both freeze-framing. I didnt realize Id shifted all the way up.
He drops back into slo-mo first.
It takes me a sec longer to get ahold of my temper. When I manage to shift down, I flop into a chair and sling a leg over the side. I speak belligerence in every language known to man. Sign language is my native tongue.
Ryodan is like the ocean. He is what he is. And hes not about to change. Theres no point in fighting the tide. It ebbs. It flows. You ride it. Hes got me by the short hairs and hes not about to let go.
So, what are we doing tonight? Boss. I put all my aggravation into the last word.
Theres that look again. Mystery to me. Sometimes I can read him like a book, other times the only things I see on his face are two eyes, a nose, and a mouth.
I roll my eyes. What?
Somethings come up. I was going to tell you. He goes back to his paperwork, dismissing me. You can go.
I sit up straight. Really? You mean it?
Get out of my office, kid. Go watch your movie.
I cant get to the door fast enough. I yank it open.
But watch out for icy spots. I hear theyre deadly.
I pause on the threshold, getting mad all over again. I had a happy feeling for all of one stinking second before he went and squashed it. You just had to say that. You cant help yourself, can you? You think the only thing to do with a parade is rain on it. Some people know to enjoy the parade because, dude, the rain always comes back.
The wise man ensures his survival before enjoying it. The fool dies enjoying it.
Skittles, jerky, and Dancer are calling my name. I rip open a candy bar, bouncing from foot to foot. But what if the wise man never gets around to the enjoying part? I got a lot of unlived experiences waiting for me. Sometimes I want to be just what I am. Fourteen and free.
Perhaps the wise man knows being alive is the enjoying part.
Have more places gotten iced since last night? I should have kept my mouth shut. I shouldnt have asked. Responsibility adds weight and years to my shoulders when he nods.
He rubs salt in the wound. But maybe youll get lucky, watching a movie with your little boyfriend, and nothing will happen. Bright side of it is, if something does, youll never know.
Cause Id like, be dead instantly. Bright side, my ass. Ryodan knows just how to push my buttons.
I roll my eyes, close the door and sit back down. Ill be fourteen later. Like probably next year. When Im fifteen.
Without looking up, he says, I said get out of here, kid.
You have a date.
Another nonquestion, but the word date in the same thought with Dancer makes me say, Huh?
Ryodan stands and dwarfs me. I live in a world of people who are taller than me, but Jo says she thinks Im going to grow more. I measure myself a lot. I dont want to be stuck at five foot two and three-quarters forever.
You mentioned plans. You didnt say what they were.
None of your fecking business.
Everything is my business.
Not my personal life. Thats why they call it personal.
This is about your little boyfriend.
Dont talk about him. Dont even think about him. And hes not little. Stop calling him little. One day hes going to be bigger than you. You just wait and see.
This isnt the time to play house and get clumsy with a kid that doesnt know what to do with his own dick.
He just made me think about Dancers dick. The thought is so uncomfortable I start bouncing from foot to foot. Who said anything about dicks? I just want to watch a movie tonight!
Which one.
How could that possibly matter?
He gives me a look.
Scream 4. Happy?
Wasnt very good.
Dancer said it was, I say crossly. Has everybody seen it but me?
Shows what he knows.
You got a problem with Dancer?
Yes. Hes the reason youre in a shit mood tonight and I have to put up with it. So fix the shit mood or Ill fix Dancer.
My hand goes to the hilt of my sword. Dont you even think about trying to take anything from me thats mine.
Dont make me.
His fangs just slid out. I shake my head and whistle. Dude, what are you?
He looks at me long and hard and I see something in his eyes that I almost get but dont. Its a look that I feel like I should know but just cant make sense of. Theres more of a breeze in the small, closed office than I usually manage to generate, and I realize hes vibrating, tooand he makes wind, too. Im beyond annoyed. Is there anything I can do that he cant do? When I look down through the glass floor, Isee that everyone beneath us is moving slo-mo. Were both freeze-framing. I didnt realize Id shifted all the way up.
He drops back into slo-mo first.
It takes me a sec longer to get ahold of my temper. When I manage to shift down, I flop into a chair and sling a leg over the side. I speak belligerence in every language known to man. Sign language is my native tongue.
Ryodan is like the ocean. He is what he is. And hes not about to change. Theres no point in fighting the tide. It ebbs. It flows. You ride it. Hes got me by the short hairs and hes not about to let go.
So, what are we doing tonight? Boss. I put all my aggravation into the last word.
Theres that look again. Mystery to me. Sometimes I can read him like a book, other times the only things I see on his face are two eyes, a nose, and a mouth.
I roll my eyes. What?
Somethings come up. I was going to tell you. He goes back to his paperwork, dismissing me. You can go.
I sit up straight. Really? You mean it?
Get out of my office, kid. Go watch your movie.
I cant get to the door fast enough. I yank it open.
But watch out for icy spots. I hear theyre deadly.
I pause on the threshold, getting mad all over again. I had a happy feeling for all of one stinking second before he went and squashed it. You just had to say that. You cant help yourself, can you? You think the only thing to do with a parade is rain on it. Some people know to enjoy the parade because, dude, the rain always comes back.
The wise man ensures his survival before enjoying it. The fool dies enjoying it.
Skittles, jerky, and Dancer are calling my name. I rip open a candy bar, bouncing from foot to foot. But what if the wise man never gets around to the enjoying part? I got a lot of unlived experiences waiting for me. Sometimes I want to be just what I am. Fourteen and free.
Perhaps the wise man knows being alive is the enjoying part.
Have more places gotten iced since last night? I should have kept my mouth shut. I shouldnt have asked. Responsibility adds weight and years to my shoulders when he nods.
He rubs salt in the wound. But maybe youll get lucky, watching a movie with your little boyfriend, and nothing will happen. Bright side of it is, if something does, youll never know.
Cause Id like, be dead instantly. Bright side, my ass. Ryodan knows just how to push my buttons.
I roll my eyes, close the door and sit back down. Ill be fourteen later. Like probably next year. When Im fifteen.
Without looking up, he says, I said get out of here, kid.
