I cant imagine life any other way.
Whenever something is bugging me, all I need to do is zoom around the city, spy on all the slo-mo Joes trudging through, and I instantly feel a million times better.
Ive got the coolest gig in the world.
Im a superhero.
Until recently, I was the only one I knew of.
According to my mom, I didnt make the normal toddler transition from crawling to walking. I went from lolling on my back, counting pudgy toes and cooing happily while she changed my diapers (Ive never seen any reason to cry when someone is cleaning poop off you), to what she initially thought was teleporting. One second I was on the living room floor, the next Id vanished. She was afraid the Fae had taken methey used to do that to sidhe-seers if they discovered themuntil she heard me rummaging around in the pantry trying to get a jar of baby food open. It was creamed corn. I remember. I still love creamed corn. Not much fuel-power there though. I burn through the punch of sugar-energy in no time.
I never got to go to school.
You dont want to know how she kept me from leaving the house. There arent many options with a kid who can move faster than you can blink. And none of them are PC.
Im not the only superhero in Dublin anymore, which annoys the feckity-feck out of me, but Im slowly coming around to seeing it might be a good thing.
I was getting complacent. And that turns into sloppy if youre not careful. Bored, too. Its not much fun always being the best and fastest. A little competition keeps you on your toes, makes you try harder, live larger.
Im all about that: living large.
I want to go out in a blaze of glory while Im young. I dont want to break piece by piece, lose my mind and die wrinkly and old. Given the current state of our world, Im not sure any of us have to worry about that anymore.
Top on my list of dudes to beat are Jericho Barrons and his men. Like me, theyre superfast and superstrong. Much as I hate to admit ittheyre faster. But Im working on it.
Barrons can pluck me right out of thin air (dude, why isnt it thick air? The things people say!) while Im freeze-framing, which is what I call the way I get around. I start at point A, lock down a mental snapshot of everything around me, hit the gas, and in a blink Im at point B. Its only got a couple of downsides. One, Im constantly bruised from running into things at top speed because some of the things I lock down on my mental grid arent stationary, like people and animals and Fae. Two, freeze-framing requires a ton of food for fuel. I have to eat constantly. Its a pain in the butt collecting and carrying that much food. If I dont eat enough, I get limp and wobbly. Its pathetic. Im a gas tank thats either full or empty. Theres no half tank with me.You know those movies where folks wear rounds of ammo on their body? I wear protein bars and Snickers.
At least once a night I whiz over to Chesters, Dublins underground hot spot for partying and scoring whatever your fantasy is and angling for a shot at immortality, owned and operated by Barronss go-to dude Ryodan, and I start killing every Fae hanging around outside it. It usually takes all of five seconds for his men to show up, but I can do a lot in five seconds.
Chesters is a safe-zone. Killing Fae is prohibited there, no matter what they do. And they do some sick stuff.
Killing humans, however, isnt prohibited at Chesters. Thats a major issue with me, so I keep giving Ryodan grief and Im not about to stop.
One of these nights Im going to be faster than him, faster than all of them.
Then Im going to slay every Fae in Chesters.
Second on my list of competition are the Fae I hunt. Some of them can teleport. They call it sifting. I dont understand the physics of it. I just know its faster than freeze-framing. Which would worry me more if I didnt have the Sword of Light, one of two weapons that can exterminate their immortal asses, so they leave me alone for the most part. She-who-isnt-getting-named has the other weapon, the Spear.
My stomach hurts again. As I peel open a protein bar, I decide to start thinking of her as That Person, abbreviated to TP. Then maybe my mind will slide over thoughts of TP without hitching and kicking me in the stomach.
Last are the Unseelie princes. There used to be four. Cruce is out of the picture for now. Two are at large, in Dublin, no longer under the Lord Masters rule, which makes them way more dangerous than they used to be. Theyve begun fighting with each other and are striking out on their own. Theres major trouble coming from those two. Not only can they sift, just looking at them makes you weep blood. And if you have sex with them well dont! Enough said. Already cults are forming around them. Sheep are always looking for a new shepherd when the terrain gets rocky.
I dont test myself against the princes. I keep my distance. I sleep with my sword in my hand. I shower with it. I never let anyone else touch it. I love my sword. Its my best friend.
I killed the other Unseelie prince. Im the only person who ever has. Dani Mega OMalley slayed an Unseelie prince! Gotta love it. Only problem is, now the two that are left have a wicked hate-on for me. Im hoping theyll be too busy fighting with each other to come after me.
My life consists mainly of watching my city. Keeping tabs on all thats changing. I love knowing the details, spreading the important news around. I dont know what Dublin would do without me.
Whenever something is bugging me, all I need to do is zoom around the city, spy on all the slo-mo Joes trudging through, and I instantly feel a million times better.
Ive got the coolest gig in the world.
Im a superhero.
Until recently, I was the only one I knew of.
According to my mom, I didnt make the normal toddler transition from crawling to walking. I went from lolling on my back, counting pudgy toes and cooing happily while she changed my diapers (Ive never seen any reason to cry when someone is cleaning poop off you), to what she initially thought was teleporting. One second I was on the living room floor, the next Id vanished. She was afraid the Fae had taken methey used to do that to sidhe-seers if they discovered themuntil she heard me rummaging around in the pantry trying to get a jar of baby food open. It was creamed corn. I remember. I still love creamed corn. Not much fuel-power there though. I burn through the punch of sugar-energy in no time.
I never got to go to school.
You dont want to know how she kept me from leaving the house. There arent many options with a kid who can move faster than you can blink. And none of them are PC.
Im not the only superhero in Dublin anymore, which annoys the feckity-feck out of me, but Im slowly coming around to seeing it might be a good thing.
I was getting complacent. And that turns into sloppy if youre not careful. Bored, too. Its not much fun always being the best and fastest. A little competition keeps you on your toes, makes you try harder, live larger.
Im all about that: living large.
I want to go out in a blaze of glory while Im young. I dont want to break piece by piece, lose my mind and die wrinkly and old. Given the current state of our world, Im not sure any of us have to worry about that anymore.
Top on my list of dudes to beat are Jericho Barrons and his men. Like me, theyre superfast and superstrong. Much as I hate to admit ittheyre faster. But Im working on it.
Barrons can pluck me right out of thin air (dude, why isnt it thick air? The things people say!) while Im freeze-framing, which is what I call the way I get around. I start at point A, lock down a mental snapshot of everything around me, hit the gas, and in a blink Im at point B. Its only got a couple of downsides. One, Im constantly bruised from running into things at top speed because some of the things I lock down on my mental grid arent stationary, like people and animals and Fae. Two, freeze-framing requires a ton of food for fuel. I have to eat constantly. Its a pain in the butt collecting and carrying that much food. If I dont eat enough, I get limp and wobbly. Its pathetic. Im a gas tank thats either full or empty. Theres no half tank with me.You know those movies where folks wear rounds of ammo on their body? I wear protein bars and Snickers.
At least once a night I whiz over to Chesters, Dublins underground hot spot for partying and scoring whatever your fantasy is and angling for a shot at immortality, owned and operated by Barronss go-to dude Ryodan, and I start killing every Fae hanging around outside it. It usually takes all of five seconds for his men to show up, but I can do a lot in five seconds.
Chesters is a safe-zone. Killing Fae is prohibited there, no matter what they do. And they do some sick stuff.
Killing humans, however, isnt prohibited at Chesters. Thats a major issue with me, so I keep giving Ryodan grief and Im not about to stop.
One of these nights Im going to be faster than him, faster than all of them.
Then Im going to slay every Fae in Chesters.
Second on my list of competition are the Fae I hunt. Some of them can teleport. They call it sifting. I dont understand the physics of it. I just know its faster than freeze-framing. Which would worry me more if I didnt have the Sword of Light, one of two weapons that can exterminate their immortal asses, so they leave me alone for the most part. She-who-isnt-getting-named has the other weapon, the Spear.
My stomach hurts again. As I peel open a protein bar, I decide to start thinking of her as That Person, abbreviated to TP. Then maybe my mind will slide over thoughts of TP without hitching and kicking me in the stomach.
Last are the Unseelie princes. There used to be four. Cruce is out of the picture for now. Two are at large, in Dublin, no longer under the Lord Masters rule, which makes them way more dangerous than they used to be. Theyve begun fighting with each other and are striking out on their own. Theres major trouble coming from those two. Not only can they sift, just looking at them makes you weep blood. And if you have sex with them well dont! Enough said. Already cults are forming around them. Sheep are always looking for a new shepherd when the terrain gets rocky.
I dont test myself against the princes. I keep my distance. I sleep with my sword in my hand. I shower with it. I never let anyone else touch it. I love my sword. Its my best friend.
I killed the other Unseelie prince. Im the only person who ever has. Dani Mega OMalley slayed an Unseelie prince! Gotta love it. Only problem is, now the two that are left have a wicked hate-on for me. Im hoping theyll be too busy fighting with each other to come after me.
My life consists mainly of watching my city. Keeping tabs on all thats changing. I love knowing the details, spreading the important news around. I dont know what Dublin would do without me.
