I dont have time to write anything real entertaining, something I try hard to do whenever I put a Dani Daily out because any writer worth their salt knows you got to give folks bread and circuses along with the information they need to save their own asses. Otherwise they wont read it. There was this whole series on TV when I was nine about how to write and keep folks reading and I was riveted by it because I knew Id be writing my memoirs one day.
I had no idea Id start running a paper when I was still only thirteen and get a book published when I was fourteen!
The Dani Daily
NEW MONSTER LOOSE IN DUBLIN!!!!
The ICEMAN slays hundreds!!!
READ ALL ABOUT IT!
AND BY THE WAY IM NOT DEFENSELESS. DUDES, YOU THINK IM DEFENSELESS, YOU JUST TRY. BRING IT ON! I GOT ALL KINDS OF SECRET WEAPONS UP MY SLEEVE!
You heard it from me first and nobody else!
Theres some kind of big, bad Unseelie loose in Dublin, icing folks to death. You hardly get any warning that its about to be in your space. Its hit churches, pubs, gyms, warehouses, rural yards, and spots smack in the middle of the street. No place is off its grid! You got to watch for it real careful. At best, if youre paying close attention, youll see a kind of shimmery spot in the air then a slit opens, fog spills out, and the monster comes. In like, just two seconds it ices everything in its path TO DEATH INSTANTLY then disappears.
Lie low, stay off the streets! Ill keep you posted, Dublin.
Oh, and if you stumble across one of its iced scenes, steer clearthey explode!
Theyre not worth it.
I just about squirt right out of my skin like a dab of toothpaste in a tube squeezed too tight. I expected Ryodan to find me first.
I freeze-frame.
And slam into Christian.
Im a full sifter now, lass. Youll never outrun me again. It was driving me bugfuck that you could get away from me. No more. His hands close on my waist and I try to twist free but its like I got steel vises biting into my body, clamping down on bone. I look up at him. The faint outline of a torque is luminous at his neck. His eyes are iridescent fire. If insanity has a color, its swirling in there.
Humans, he says coldly, and his face is like chiseled ice. Pale against midnight hair. Brilliant tattoos rush up his neck, around his jaw, back down his body, a kaleidoscopic storm just beneath his skin. Puny. Stupid. Frightened of their shadow. Why do you bother with them? Why waste your time? Youre worth so much more than that.
Dude. I am one. Give me my fecking sword. It aint yours.
No youre not. Youre beyond human. Youre what the race should aspire to be. He leans in, sniffs my hair and sighs. Stay the fuck away from Ryodan. I bloody hate it when yousmell like him. It turns my stomach.
I search my brain for a way out of this one. With my sword. Is it on him somewhere? I let my lids drift down, peek at his lower body. Dont want to telegraph. I dont see it anywhere. Jeans, hiking boots, cream fishermans sweater that strains across shoulders way wider than they used to be. To support the wing structure hes developing? Does he miss who he was? Is that why hes dressed like this? No visible sign of any weapons on him anywhere, but then hes so far past needing a weapon. He is a weapon. Theres blood all over his sweater. I dont even want to know why. Youre human, too, remember? Obviously with some part of his brain he does. The Unseelie princes rarely wear clothing.
Not anymore, Dani, my sweet darling. You know how Im so sure? Im a lie detector. I said, Im human and heard my own lie. He laughs, and theres madness in it.
You are what you choose to be, I say. All the sudden I cant breathe because his hands have slipped up over my ribs and hes squeezing me so tight I think theyre going to crack.
I would NEVER have fucking chosen this!
Ow! Volume control, Christian! And youre hurting me!
He releases his grip instantly. Are you all right, lass? Are your ears bleeding? I made the last womans ears bleed. Nose, too. And her well, thats neither here nor there.
Let me go. I got stuff to do.
No.
Look, if youre going to try to kill me, get it over with. I put both of my fists in front of my face. Put up your dukes!
He stares at me. Why would I do that?
HelloMister I Keep Dead Women Stuffed Down the Side of My Bed!
I tried to explain that to you. You wouldnt listen. You ran away from me. Why did you run away from me? Dont I keep telling you Ill never hurt you?
Did you kill her?
No.
I give him a look. I dont need to be a lie detector to see through that one. It was there in the shifty slide of his eyes. Try again.
Fine. Okay. I killed her. But I didnt mean to. And I didnt kill her, kill her.
Oh, I see. As long as you didnt kill her, kill her, then thats okay.
I knew youd understand, he says, like Im not being totally facetious. Im not sure he gets human nuances anymore. I think hes too far gone.
All ears here.
He shrugs. Theres not much to tell. We were having sex and all the sudden she was dead.
I had no idea Id start running a paper when I was still only thirteen and get a book published when I was fourteen!
The Dani Daily
NEW MONSTER LOOSE IN DUBLIN!!!!
The ICEMAN slays hundreds!!!
READ ALL ABOUT IT!
AND BY THE WAY IM NOT DEFENSELESS. DUDES, YOU THINK IM DEFENSELESS, YOU JUST TRY. BRING IT ON! I GOT ALL KINDS OF SECRET WEAPONS UP MY SLEEVE!
You heard it from me first and nobody else!
Theres some kind of big, bad Unseelie loose in Dublin, icing folks to death. You hardly get any warning that its about to be in your space. Its hit churches, pubs, gyms, warehouses, rural yards, and spots smack in the middle of the street. No place is off its grid! You got to watch for it real careful. At best, if youre paying close attention, youll see a kind of shimmery spot in the air then a slit opens, fog spills out, and the monster comes. In like, just two seconds it ices everything in its path TO DEATH INSTANTLY then disappears.
Lie low, stay off the streets! Ill keep you posted, Dublin.
Oh, and if you stumble across one of its iced scenes, steer clearthey explode!
Theyre not worth it.
I just about squirt right out of my skin like a dab of toothpaste in a tube squeezed too tight. I expected Ryodan to find me first.
I freeze-frame.
And slam into Christian.
Im a full sifter now, lass. Youll never outrun me again. It was driving me bugfuck that you could get away from me. No more. His hands close on my waist and I try to twist free but its like I got steel vises biting into my body, clamping down on bone. I look up at him. The faint outline of a torque is luminous at his neck. His eyes are iridescent fire. If insanity has a color, its swirling in there.
Humans, he says coldly, and his face is like chiseled ice. Pale against midnight hair. Brilliant tattoos rush up his neck, around his jaw, back down his body, a kaleidoscopic storm just beneath his skin. Puny. Stupid. Frightened of their shadow. Why do you bother with them? Why waste your time? Youre worth so much more than that.
Dude. I am one. Give me my fecking sword. It aint yours.
No youre not. Youre beyond human. Youre what the race should aspire to be. He leans in, sniffs my hair and sighs. Stay the fuck away from Ryodan. I bloody hate it when yousmell like him. It turns my stomach.
I search my brain for a way out of this one. With my sword. Is it on him somewhere? I let my lids drift down, peek at his lower body. Dont want to telegraph. I dont see it anywhere. Jeans, hiking boots, cream fishermans sweater that strains across shoulders way wider than they used to be. To support the wing structure hes developing? Does he miss who he was? Is that why hes dressed like this? No visible sign of any weapons on him anywhere, but then hes so far past needing a weapon. He is a weapon. Theres blood all over his sweater. I dont even want to know why. Youre human, too, remember? Obviously with some part of his brain he does. The Unseelie princes rarely wear clothing.
Not anymore, Dani, my sweet darling. You know how Im so sure? Im a lie detector. I said, Im human and heard my own lie. He laughs, and theres madness in it.
You are what you choose to be, I say. All the sudden I cant breathe because his hands have slipped up over my ribs and hes squeezing me so tight I think theyre going to crack.
I would NEVER have fucking chosen this!
Ow! Volume control, Christian! And youre hurting me!
He releases his grip instantly. Are you all right, lass? Are your ears bleeding? I made the last womans ears bleed. Nose, too. And her well, thats neither here nor there.
Let me go. I got stuff to do.
No.
Look, if youre going to try to kill me, get it over with. I put both of my fists in front of my face. Put up your dukes!
He stares at me. Why would I do that?
HelloMister I Keep Dead Women Stuffed Down the Side of My Bed!
I tried to explain that to you. You wouldnt listen. You ran away from me. Why did you run away from me? Dont I keep telling you Ill never hurt you?
Did you kill her?
No.
I give him a look. I dont need to be a lie detector to see through that one. It was there in the shifty slide of his eyes. Try again.
Fine. Okay. I killed her. But I didnt mean to. And I didnt kill her, kill her.
Oh, I see. As long as you didnt kill her, kill her, then thats okay.
I knew youd understand, he says, like Im not being totally facetious. Im not sure he gets human nuances anymore. I think hes too far gone.
All ears here.
He shrugs. Theres not much to tell. We were having sex and all the sudden she was dead.
