Im not lying. Another deep breath, and I nearly gagged on the acrid stench of stale cigarette smoke. Which I then spat out, along with an offer I really didnt want to make. Read me.
Sabine sat up straight, her black eyes suddenly bright with interest. Seriously?
No. I shuddered, then swallowed my own bitter fear. If thats what it takes for you to believe me.
She shrugged. The offer itself was enough to make me believe you. But you cant take it back now. She crossed the small room in an instant, and my jaw clenched involuntarily when she dropped onto her knees in front of me. You know I have to touch you, right? The stronger the contact, the better the reading.
Great. I held out my hand and she wound her fingers around mine, like Id once seen her do with Nash when neither of them knew I was watching. Their contact had looked intimate. Comfortable. I wondered if ours would look the same from the outside.
I started to close my eyes, but Sabine shook her head and leaned closer for a better look. Her hand was warm and dry, her grip firm. And as I watched, her pupils bled into the near-black of her irises, and the whole room seemed to dim around us.
A cold wave of fear swam over me, consuming me. It was uncomfortable, like being the center of attention in a room full of hellions.
Then that fear came into focus, and suddenly my own death was the only thing I could think about. Would it hurt? Would there be blood? Would anyone else have to see me die? Would I see them cry?
Would I die alone?
The lack of answers scared me almost worse than the questions themselves. But it was over in a second, and when Sabine let go of my hand, I realized she could have held on much longer.
Holy shit, youre gonna die. She looked stunned. Youre really going to die, and youre terrified of death.
Is there a more rational reaction?
The mara frowned, and her eyes darkened again. Also, youre planning to sleep with Nash before you go, and youre scared you wont be any good.
Damn it. I could feel my cheeks burn. Lets just keep that bit between us, okay?
Her dark brows rose. Is that the favor?
I scowled. No.
No promises, then. And just FYI, you wont be any good. Not the first time, anyway. I started to stand, my cheeks flaming now. Why couldnt she help me, just this once, without throwing my own fears into my face? But Sabine put one hand on my arm and pulled me back onto the chair before I could stomp off. You wont be any good, but he wont care, Kaylee. Because hes a guy, so any sex is good sex. And because he loves you, she added, lips curled like the words were bitter on hertongue.
I blinked away unshed, angry tears, but couldnt bring myself to thank her for softening the blow. Why was she antagonizing a dying woman anyway?
You know I cant let this happen, right? You cant sleep with him, Kaylee. You have to break up with him.
I rolled my eyes. Okay, if I havent handed him over to you yet, why the hell would I do it now?
She blinked at me, like the answer should have been obvious. Because he loves you, and youre dying. If you dont dump him nowmake a clean breakyoure always going to be the tragic lost love. How the hell am I supposed to compete with a ghost?
I dont care how you compete! But didnt I, at least a little? As weird as it was to think about the two of them together, I wanted Nash to be happy after I died. I wanted him to be able to move on. But I couldnt hurt him to make that happen.
Fine. Then think about him. He wont see it now, but youd be doing him a favor. Helping him move on.
Its not going to happen, Sabine.
Is this about sex? No one should die a virginI agree with you there. But you dont need Nash for that. I could make a phone call. Of course, youd have to break up with Nash for this to work
My head spun, and I didnt know what to yell at her for first. So I decided to ignore the whole thing and focus on the favor I needed.
Sabine. As much fun as these little forays into my personal life always are fun, like public incontinence I really need a favor.
Beyond me facilitating the timely loss of your virginity? Cause I think thats a pretty generous offer.
Yeah. Youre a walking charity. But I need you to find out what Mr. Beck is. And obviously I dont have a lot of time.
Sabine watched me while she took a long drink from her can, pointedly not offering me one. Why?
Because I went to see Danica Sussman in the hospital, and she admitted that the baby wasnt Maxs. And the nurse said the miscarriage nearly killed her, which is evidently pretty rare.
Well, arent you the little sleuth? Sabine raised both brows, reluctantly impressed. Id start calling you Veronica Mars, if you werent quite so mousy. She grinned when I ground my teeth together, determined to bite my tongue until she agreed to help me.
So I was thinking maybe you were right. Maybe Mr. Beck is the father. I mean, if hes not human, the baby wouldnt have been fully human either, right? And that could explain why her miscarriage was soawful. Right?
Sabine sat up straight, her black eyes suddenly bright with interest. Seriously?
No. I shuddered, then swallowed my own bitter fear. If thats what it takes for you to believe me.
She shrugged. The offer itself was enough to make me believe you. But you cant take it back now. She crossed the small room in an instant, and my jaw clenched involuntarily when she dropped onto her knees in front of me. You know I have to touch you, right? The stronger the contact, the better the reading.
Great. I held out my hand and she wound her fingers around mine, like Id once seen her do with Nash when neither of them knew I was watching. Their contact had looked intimate. Comfortable. I wondered if ours would look the same from the outside.
I started to close my eyes, but Sabine shook her head and leaned closer for a better look. Her hand was warm and dry, her grip firm. And as I watched, her pupils bled into the near-black of her irises, and the whole room seemed to dim around us.
A cold wave of fear swam over me, consuming me. It was uncomfortable, like being the center of attention in a room full of hellions.
Then that fear came into focus, and suddenly my own death was the only thing I could think about. Would it hurt? Would there be blood? Would anyone else have to see me die? Would I see them cry?
Would I die alone?
The lack of answers scared me almost worse than the questions themselves. But it was over in a second, and when Sabine let go of my hand, I realized she could have held on much longer.
Holy shit, youre gonna die. She looked stunned. Youre really going to die, and youre terrified of death.
Is there a more rational reaction?
The mara frowned, and her eyes darkened again. Also, youre planning to sleep with Nash before you go, and youre scared you wont be any good.
Damn it. I could feel my cheeks burn. Lets just keep that bit between us, okay?
Her dark brows rose. Is that the favor?
I scowled. No.
No promises, then. And just FYI, you wont be any good. Not the first time, anyway. I started to stand, my cheeks flaming now. Why couldnt she help me, just this once, without throwing my own fears into my face? But Sabine put one hand on my arm and pulled me back onto the chair before I could stomp off. You wont be any good, but he wont care, Kaylee. Because hes a guy, so any sex is good sex. And because he loves you, she added, lips curled like the words were bitter on hertongue.
I blinked away unshed, angry tears, but couldnt bring myself to thank her for softening the blow. Why was she antagonizing a dying woman anyway?
You know I cant let this happen, right? You cant sleep with him, Kaylee. You have to break up with him.
I rolled my eyes. Okay, if I havent handed him over to you yet, why the hell would I do it now?
She blinked at me, like the answer should have been obvious. Because he loves you, and youre dying. If you dont dump him nowmake a clean breakyoure always going to be the tragic lost love. How the hell am I supposed to compete with a ghost?
I dont care how you compete! But didnt I, at least a little? As weird as it was to think about the two of them together, I wanted Nash to be happy after I died. I wanted him to be able to move on. But I couldnt hurt him to make that happen.
Fine. Then think about him. He wont see it now, but youd be doing him a favor. Helping him move on.
Its not going to happen, Sabine.
Is this about sex? No one should die a virginI agree with you there. But you dont need Nash for that. I could make a phone call. Of course, youd have to break up with Nash for this to work
My head spun, and I didnt know what to yell at her for first. So I decided to ignore the whole thing and focus on the favor I needed.
Sabine. As much fun as these little forays into my personal life always are fun, like public incontinence I really need a favor.
Beyond me facilitating the timely loss of your virginity? Cause I think thats a pretty generous offer.
Yeah. Youre a walking charity. But I need you to find out what Mr. Beck is. And obviously I dont have a lot of time.
Sabine watched me while she took a long drink from her can, pointedly not offering me one. Why?
Because I went to see Danica Sussman in the hospital, and she admitted that the baby wasnt Maxs. And the nurse said the miscarriage nearly killed her, which is evidently pretty rare.
Well, arent you the little sleuth? Sabine raised both brows, reluctantly impressed. Id start calling you Veronica Mars, if you werent quite so mousy. She grinned when I ground my teeth together, determined to bite my tongue until she agreed to help me.
So I was thinking maybe you were right. Maybe Mr. Beck is the father. I mean, if hes not human, the baby wouldnt have been fully human either, right? And that could explain why her miscarriage was soawful. Right?
