Mr. Beck started to nod in my direction, but before he could, Danica Sussman slid right out of her chair and onto the floor. Unconscious.
The entire class gasped, and chairs squealed against the floor as people stood for a better view. I was so surprised my mouth almost fell open, which would have released my painfully shrill shriek into the school.
Mr. Beck stared at Danica, blinking in shock and confusion.
Was it her? Was Danica about to die? If so, why wasnt my urge to scream getting any stronger?
Mr. Beck rushed down the aisle, but before he got there, Chelsea Simms dropped onto the floor and stuck her hand in front of Danicas face, an inch from her nose. Shes still breathing. Chelsea sat back and glanced over our fallen classmate, obviously looking for an injury. Then she gasped again, sharper than before. Shit, shes bleeding! Chelsea scrambled backward on her knees and bumped her shoulder on the nearest desk, as shocked whispers echoed across the room.
Mr. Beck knelt beside Danica, features tense with worry. Chelsea, call the office from the phone on my desk. Just dial nine. When Chelsea stood, I saw what everyone else had already reacted to: the pool of blood spreading beneath Danicas thighs.
Thats when the scream hit me full force. While everyone else whispered and stared, gathering around our fallen classmate until Mr. Beck ordered them back, I sat stiff in my chair, gripping the sides of my desk again, swallowing compulsively to fight back the scream that was scalding me from the inside out.
But Danica was still breathing. I could see her chest rising between the shoulders of two basketball players standing in the aisle. Her breathing wasnt even labored. But the strength of the scream within me said that someone was going to die any minute. If it wasnt Danica, who was it?
You okay? Emma asked, leaning close to me, eyes wide, forehead furrowed. Is it her?
I could only shrug. The only way I know how to check was
I let a thin thread of the scream trail from my lips, an emaciated sound so soft no one else heard it over the steady, stunned buzz of the gathered spectators. But it was enough. With that sound calling out to the soul, I would be able to see it when it left Danicas body. Assuming she was the one about to die.
But the insubstantial form hovering over Danica Sussman was like no soul Id ever seen. Usually, a souls appearancemerely its representation in the physical worldmimicked its owners size, at least. But this soul was tiny. No bigger than my fist, and irregular in shape. And Danicas breathing had not slowed.
And thats when I understood. Danica wasnt dying. She was losing her unborn child.
I dont think I can eat today. Emma stirred a paper bowl of tomato soup with a plastic spoon. This just isnt in good taste.
I cracked open my soda lid withoutglancing at her lunch, for fear Id be sick at the sight. Im pretty sure they plan the menu months in advance. But that was little solace after what wed seen that morning. Somehow, even after all the death Id both witnessed and heralded, Id never even considered the possibility of a miscarriage triggering my instinct to wail for a yet-unborn soul. The usual helplessness, frustration and horror that accompanied any death for me were magnified almost beyond my own comprehension. This was a baby. A child who would never be. And I didnt know how to deal with that.
It does look pretty gory, though, Sabine insisted from across the table, ignoring her own tray as the spring breeze blew long black hair into her face. She tucked the stray strands back, exposing a mismatched set of silver hoops in her upper ear. So is it true that Danica Sussman hemorrhaged all over the floor in first period?
Both true and gruesome. Em dropped her spoon and pushed her meal back as Nash settled onto the bench seat next to me with a cardboard tray of nachos. I hope shes okay.
An ambulance had come for Danica, and though she was still unconscious, I was long past wailing for her baby by the time they wheeled her away on a stretcher. And I was the only one who knew for sure that she would livebut that a tiny, hidden part of her had already died.
I hope so, too. Nash slid one arm around my waist and squeezed me, then dug into his chips, and I couldnt help wondering if we would have been able to save Danicas baby, if wed both been there when it happened. As a male bean sidhe, Nash didnt wail for the souls of the dying. His gifts included Influencethe ability to compel people to do things just by speaking to themand the capacity to guide a disembodied soul. Together, we could reinstate a persons soul and save his or her lifebut only in exchange for someone elses. A life for a life. Thats how it worked.
But I had no idea if it would work at all on an unborn child, without a fully formed body in which to reinstate the soul. Or if it would last, even if it did work. I mean, miscarriages happen for a reason, right? Because theres something wrong with the baby, or because the mother cant handle the stress. Or something like that. Soreally, a miscarriage is a blessing, right?
Or maybe I was just desperate to find a silver lining to go with the single darkest, most horrifying cloud of a death Id ever witnessed.
People are saying it was a miscarriage, Emma said softly, and I flinched when a guy in a green-and-white senior class shirt turned around on the bench behind her, his brown eyes shiny with unshed tears, face flushed with anger. Max Kramer was Danicas boyfriend of almost a year, and his pain and anger were so raw I felt like I was violating his privacy just by witnessing them.
The entire class gasped, and chairs squealed against the floor as people stood for a better view. I was so surprised my mouth almost fell open, which would have released my painfully shrill shriek into the school.
Mr. Beck stared at Danica, blinking in shock and confusion.
Was it her? Was Danica about to die? If so, why wasnt my urge to scream getting any stronger?
Mr. Beck rushed down the aisle, but before he got there, Chelsea Simms dropped onto the floor and stuck her hand in front of Danicas face, an inch from her nose. Shes still breathing. Chelsea sat back and glanced over our fallen classmate, obviously looking for an injury. Then she gasped again, sharper than before. Shit, shes bleeding! Chelsea scrambled backward on her knees and bumped her shoulder on the nearest desk, as shocked whispers echoed across the room.
Mr. Beck knelt beside Danica, features tense with worry. Chelsea, call the office from the phone on my desk. Just dial nine. When Chelsea stood, I saw what everyone else had already reacted to: the pool of blood spreading beneath Danicas thighs.
Thats when the scream hit me full force. While everyone else whispered and stared, gathering around our fallen classmate until Mr. Beck ordered them back, I sat stiff in my chair, gripping the sides of my desk again, swallowing compulsively to fight back the scream that was scalding me from the inside out.
But Danica was still breathing. I could see her chest rising between the shoulders of two basketball players standing in the aisle. Her breathing wasnt even labored. But the strength of the scream within me said that someone was going to die any minute. If it wasnt Danica, who was it?
You okay? Emma asked, leaning close to me, eyes wide, forehead furrowed. Is it her?
I could only shrug. The only way I know how to check was
I let a thin thread of the scream trail from my lips, an emaciated sound so soft no one else heard it over the steady, stunned buzz of the gathered spectators. But it was enough. With that sound calling out to the soul, I would be able to see it when it left Danicas body. Assuming she was the one about to die.
But the insubstantial form hovering over Danica Sussman was like no soul Id ever seen. Usually, a souls appearancemerely its representation in the physical worldmimicked its owners size, at least. But this soul was tiny. No bigger than my fist, and irregular in shape. And Danicas breathing had not slowed.
And thats when I understood. Danica wasnt dying. She was losing her unborn child.
I dont think I can eat today. Emma stirred a paper bowl of tomato soup with a plastic spoon. This just isnt in good taste.
I cracked open my soda lid withoutglancing at her lunch, for fear Id be sick at the sight. Im pretty sure they plan the menu months in advance. But that was little solace after what wed seen that morning. Somehow, even after all the death Id both witnessed and heralded, Id never even considered the possibility of a miscarriage triggering my instinct to wail for a yet-unborn soul. The usual helplessness, frustration and horror that accompanied any death for me were magnified almost beyond my own comprehension. This was a baby. A child who would never be. And I didnt know how to deal with that.
It does look pretty gory, though, Sabine insisted from across the table, ignoring her own tray as the spring breeze blew long black hair into her face. She tucked the stray strands back, exposing a mismatched set of silver hoops in her upper ear. So is it true that Danica Sussman hemorrhaged all over the floor in first period?
Both true and gruesome. Em dropped her spoon and pushed her meal back as Nash settled onto the bench seat next to me with a cardboard tray of nachos. I hope shes okay.
An ambulance had come for Danica, and though she was still unconscious, I was long past wailing for her baby by the time they wheeled her away on a stretcher. And I was the only one who knew for sure that she would livebut that a tiny, hidden part of her had already died.
I hope so, too. Nash slid one arm around my waist and squeezed me, then dug into his chips, and I couldnt help wondering if we would have been able to save Danicas baby, if wed both been there when it happened. As a male bean sidhe, Nash didnt wail for the souls of the dying. His gifts included Influencethe ability to compel people to do things just by speaking to themand the capacity to guide a disembodied soul. Together, we could reinstate a persons soul and save his or her lifebut only in exchange for someone elses. A life for a life. Thats how it worked.
But I had no idea if it would work at all on an unborn child, without a fully formed body in which to reinstate the soul. Or if it would last, even if it did work. I mean, miscarriages happen for a reason, right? Because theres something wrong with the baby, or because the mother cant handle the stress. Or something like that. Soreally, a miscarriage is a blessing, right?
Or maybe I was just desperate to find a silver lining to go with the single darkest, most horrifying cloud of a death Id ever witnessed.
People are saying it was a miscarriage, Emma said softly, and I flinched when a guy in a green-and-white senior class shirt turned around on the bench behind her, his brown eyes shiny with unshed tears, face flushed with anger. Max Kramer was Danicas boyfriend of almost a year, and his pain and anger were so raw I felt like I was violating his privacy just by witnessing them.
